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ACT TWOn2600
2.1
[Enter] ALICIA, LADY [Thrivewell], Servingman, [and] Apprenticen254.
194AliciaAll Cheapsiden277 and Lombard Streetn278, madam, could not have furnished you with a more complete bargain. You will find it in the wearing, and thank me both for the goodness of the stuffgg458 and of the manufacture.
195LadyBut now the price, Mistress Saleware. I grant your commodityn279gg459 is good: the gold and silver laces and the fringes are rich and, I hope, well wrought. Has your man made a note of the particulars and their prices at the rate of ready moneyn11286 (for I buy so), and not as you would book’em to an under-aged heir or a court cavalier, to expect payment two or three years hence, and find it perhaps nevern281. I come with, ‘Here is one for tother’.
196AliciaI know your ladyship’s paymentsn1402 such; and they are prizedgg1345 so, madam, to a farthing.
197LadyLet me see: broad plate silver and gold lace,n282 two hundred and six ounces half and a dramgg460 at five and tenpence the ounce. Sixty pounds, five shillings, three pence, halfpennyn430 four. Five and tenpence an ounce is dear.
198AliciaI protest unto you, madam, that parcel of lace, for a bed as you intend it, was bespoken and agreed for at six shillings the ounce by a very great person: but because ready money came not to fetch it offgs76, fortune reserved it here for you.n319 You could not have been so fitted on the sudden else within London wallsn1574; and I am glad the same fortune was so favourable to me, as by my hands to design it for your ladyship’s use and pleasure. I hope, madam, we shall hear of a young heir a coming shortly, and that will make it a rich and fortunate bed indeed. And then Sir Olivern320 would thank me too.
199Lady [Aside] What a bold slut it is. [Aloud] Well then, the rest of the particulars here of laces and fringes, loops and buttons, makes the sum of all an hundred pound, eight shillings, four pence, halfpenny. I am no good arithmetician, but if any be overcastgg461 and overpaid, you must allow restitutionn321gg462.
200AliciaYes, good madam.
201LadyIs all put up into this box?
202AliciaAll, madam.
203Lady [To Servingman] Give me my purse. Take you home thatn322 while I make payment for it. [Servingmann256 with box of goods] exits.n323 Your gold-weights, Mistress Saleware.
204AliciaHere, madam, all in readiness.
206Alicia’Tis but light pains to weigh it, madam. But let me save your ladyship that labour.
207LadyNor shall it be your trouble. Command your servant, I pray, for a glass of your beer.
209LadyThat I may tell you in more privacy what perhaps you would not have him hear: for apprentices, though they are bound to keep their masters’ secrets, are not all privy togg463 their mistresses’; that’s more a journeyman’sgg464 officegg352.
210AliciaYour ladyship is pleased.
211LadyNot very well with myself, for I have gone beyond my commission in this bargain and exceeded my husband’s allowance. Here’s one hundred pounds, eight shillings, four pence, halfpennyn430 in the bill, and he allows me but the bare hundred pound.
213LadyA great matter in an honest poor country lady’s purse, may serve her a whole Christmas at post and pairn432gg489, or farthing-gleekgg490, when the gay gamesters’ wives o’ the city may command the hundredsn433 out of the purses of such poor ladies’ husbands. But here is the oddn431 moneygs77: eight shillings, four pence, halfpenny, and so all’s paid.
214AliciaWhat means your ladyship?
215LadyDo you not understand me then? I’lln1403 tell you that which I thought fit to conceal from your servant, and from your husband too, had he been here; perhaps he knows not on’t. My husband left with you, or lentn3692 you, the last term a hundred pound, which he assigned to me, and now I have it in commoditygs287. Had you forgot it, when it was to do you a good turnn1405 when your absent husband failed you and you wantedgg491 it?n434
216AliciaA good turn, madam?
217LadyYes, was it not to have the free use of a hundred pound ready money a whole quarter of a year, through a dead vacationgg492,n435 and at last to take it outgg493 in wares? A good turn, I think, for a tradeswoman. Take heed you do not by your sullenness make me suspect another kind of good turn, or that you did my husband anygg494 to my injury, nor deny the receipt of his money, lest I take up a violence that will not become me, nor you be able to bear. Be therefore well advised both in what you say and who hears me. Somebody comes.
Enter APPRENTICE with beer.
218AliciaMadam, your beer.
220AliciaI shall presume then, madam. Drinks.
222ApprenticeYour ladyship will find it so. LADY drinks.
223AliciaAnd I hope you will find your money so well bestowed, madam, that you will vouchsafegg496 always to know the shop.
224LadyEvergg68 upon the likegg497 occasion, Mistress Saleware. So, most kindly farewell, sweet Mistress Saleware.
226Lady’Tis done, my coachman does it.Exit.
227AliciaI would the devil were in your coachman’s coat to take his carriage for his pains.
LADY returns.
229AliciaLay your commands on me, good madam. [ALICIA] curtsy[s].
230LadyNot to your trouble. I perceive a young gentleman attends for conferencegg499 with you. Is not his name Fitzgerrard?
232LadyI thought I had known him. He is a handsome youth. I cannot blamegg1346 you now with him: but beware of old knights that have young ladies of their own. Once more adieu, sweet Mistress Saleware.Exit.
233AliciaMost courteous madam— and once more to the devil.n439 But on my life, her chaste ladyship is taken with this beardless Bellamy.n440 How she shot eyes at him!
[Enter BELLAMY].n438
234BellamyNow may your servant obtain a hearing, lady?
235AliciaMy ears are open, sir.
236BellamyBut you are sad or angry. Why seems that brow to threaten a subjection over him that is your vanquishedgg523 captive? Or has Cupid placed his bow there bent at me,n563 whose heart already lodges all his arrows, never to be restored but by your pity?n562
238BellamyWhat has displeased you?
239AliciaA crossgg526 business that has happened in my shop today. I being none of the wisest chapwomangg525 have undersold a parcel of the best commodities my husband had. And should he know’t we should have such a squabblen1420.
240BellamyHusbands should be so served that do impose
Those mercenary offices on their wives.
241AliciaTalk so and I will hear you; your amorous notes sound like play-speeches.
242BellamyServile, nay, slavish offices, ranking their wives with their apprentices.
243AliciaThey pretend only that we should overlookgg527 our servants, when they but set us theren564 for show to draw in custom. But in making us such overseers they are overseen themselves. Shopkeepers’ wives will be meddling and dealing in their kind, and as they are able as well as their husbands (some much better and more profitable). But I was overreachedgg528, I confess.
245AliciaNo, the mattergs79 was not much (that never fretted me) but the manner has e’en killed a she-shopkeeper. I cannot be long-lived here under a penthousegg530, as my lord (you know)n565 told me when he said he would shut me out of this servitude, and that I should change my coat,n566 though my husband could not before he were an aldermangg531, and be ranked with ladies.
246BellamyMy lord has still the same regard of you.
247AliciaSo it appears by the tailor and the mercergg453 whom he sent four days sincen567 to measure me out and suitgs80gg538 me to his honour, and no return of them found, yet hisn673 land might ha’ been measuredn674 all and sold while a poor suit is dreamt on, had he born the mind of some lord!
248Bellamy [Handing ALICIA a paper] I doubt not but this paper will clear that jealousy. And while you read, I’ll speak that which I dare not utter through sighs and blushes to an entire attention.
I am of noble blood myself, free-born,
And not without good education;
But since I am engaged in this employment,
And made an instrumentn676 of others’ lust,
I find myself a scandal to my name,
To honour and to virtue, the base blotgs153
Of pandergg540 sticking on me. But not this
Alone is my affliction. Here’s my torment:
That while I do true service to my lord
(Whom I must ever honour) in my agencygg541
Unto yourself (whom I cannot but love)
I find myself a traitor to his trust
In my negotiation for myself.
Nor can I find it possible to desist
Mine own attempts to you, or forbear to urge
Your constancy to him.
’Twere for one woman to supply ’em both,n677
A wooden two-leaved book, a pair of tablesn1165
Would do’t.
250Bellamy [Aside] How wretched is that suppliant who must make
Suit to obtain that which he fears to take!
251Alicia [She reads] ‘At the Bear at the Bridgefootn1163, six o’ clock.’ Good. [Aloud] Sir, I find my lord’s honourable appointmentsn1406 here, and have heard you all this while.
252BellamyNow I could wish, and was in hope, you had not.
253AliciaI will not blame you on your lord’s behalf,
Because you have enough rebuked yourself.
But, sir, if you presume upon the favour
I give your lord, and therefore to obtain me
’Cause I am his, you undervalue me
To think that I can stoop unto his servant,
Though almost his companion; you may think
After that degradation by degrees,
I may, in time, descend unto his footman.
I’m no castgg447 garment of his lordship’s yet.
256ApprenticeWhat would he buy, mistress? Can you take his money? [To Bellamy] Sir, d’ye hear?
257AliciaPray attend you the tothergg1195 end o’ th’ shop. If I cannot handle a customer, why does your master trust me? [APPRENTICE exits.]n3925 [To BELLAMY] Could a frown fright you? Let a smile then cheer you.
[She smiles.]
258BellamyAnd that’s a heavenly one,
As that of Cynthia at Endymionn1172.
259AliciaPray leave your player-like passionate expressions. And if you love me, like a man speak to me,n1421 as I am a woman. Are you silent? If you doubt the length of my man’s earsn1173 at that distance, you may whisper. [BELLAMY whispers] What so?n1174 But that is a right shop-whisper indeed with tradeswomen that are handsomegs47. Is that the most you will give, sir? Could I afford it so, do you think I’d make two words w’ye?gg1196 Yet this before you go. [She] kisse[s] BELLAMY. Now match it for the price; I’ll give it you for nothing.
260BellamyI shall forget I have a lord. I must forget him here.
261AliciaDo so, and if (I say) you love me, speak plainly what you would have me do or what you would do with me.n1407 [Aside]n1422 I love to dauntn1423gg1197 these young things that love before they can love to the purpose or speak to’t handsomely,gs59 like a boy that would faingg715 be shooting at wild-fowl before he knows how to discharge a birding-piece.gg1198 [Aloud] I would hear you speak. You have often muttered and fribbledgg1024 some intentions towards me, but I would hear you speak. Come, if you love me, lay bygs150 the fear of the lord that sent you, and tell me roundlygg1199 now what you would have me do?
263AliciaWell; what?
264BellamyThat you would be pleased—
265AliciaWith what? Or to do what?
268BellamyYes, I say you are the beautifull’st of women, and that my lord in your enjoyment is the happiest—
270BellamyI wouldgg24 but dare not hope for such a favour; you’ll never grant it, my unworthiness.n1180
271AliciaHow can you tell?
272BellamyYou will not wrong my lord so as to do it.
273AliciaNot in his sight perhaps. What is it? Come.
274BellamyIt is—
275AliciaIt is then; let it be so. Go to school, child.
276BellamyIt is—that you would,n1181 let me— [offering a ring] give you this ring, and grace it with your finger.
277AliciaWill that be a wrong to your lord?
279AliciaDoes he know this?
280BellamyNo, nor I would not that he should (and given by me) for all the rubies in Cheapsiden277, where I bought this but now, over the way.
283AliciaNo, but I have you o’ the hip.n1182 ’Tis plain you wouldgg24 lie withgs152 me: deny it if you can.
284BellamyOh dear, did I say so now?
285AliciaWhat need you when I know it? You would lie with me, and you shall. Take courage, man.
286BellamyBut, in good earnest, shall I? Shall I?
287AliciaYes, in good earnest,n1183 you’ll find it no triflinggg1200 business when you come to’tn1409 once. But, sir, upon condition.
288BellamyAny condition, lady.
290BellamyName your condition; I’ll perform it if it be in the power of my life.
291AliciaYou saw here at your coming a fair lady.
292BellamyI took no notice of her.
293AliciaBut she did of you. She is called the Lady Thrivewell.
294BellamySir Oliver Thrivewell’s lady?
295AliciaThe same. You have known her, it seems.
296BellamySeen her before she was married.
297AliciaI will be brief with you. As you love me, she loves you as eagerly, but with much more boldness. You saw her whisper me,n1184 and how loathgg1201 she was to depart when her eye was upon you.
298BellamyI did observe it.
299AliciaShe is my noble friend and the sweetest lady. I need not set her out.n1185 But though you think you suffer in your honour, in being an instrument ’twixt your lord and me, with the base blotgs153 of pandergg540 sticking on you (these were your words), I have engaged myself for her to be your panderess. Be so, I shall be evengg1202 with you in business if you accountgg1203 it so.
300BellamyWhat d’ye mean, lady?
301AliciaTo urge against myself for that sweet lady, which no woman else I think would do that loves you so unfeignedlygg25 as I. But ’tis my fate, and the injunction I must lay upon you to make me yours, that first you give yourself to her embraces. I’ll give you means for your access to her, and your success with her, which done, and on your faith affirmed to me, ’tis so; I will perpetually be yours more freely than your lord’s.
Enter SALEWARE.n1425
304Salewaren1411And there I will direct you in your progress.n1189 Ally,n1190 how dost? Master Bellamy, how ist? How does my noble lord? You are sad, methinks. Ha’ you overboughtgg1206 anything here and so repent your bargain? Or cannot my wife and you agree upon’t? You must usegs154 Master Bellamy kindly, my sweet Ally: he is our noblest lord’s most special favourite, and must find all fair dealingn1412 here, as well when I am abroadgg896 as at home, sweetheart.
305BellamyYou hear not me complain, sir. Fare you well.Exit.
306SalewareWhat an asinego’sgg388 this! He might ha’ thanked me for my good words, though I meant him no good will. I hope thou hast overreachedgg528 him indeed.
307AliciaThomas, your hopes are vain, Thomas, in seating me here to overreach or underreachgg1208 anybody. I am weary of this mechanic course,n1193 Thomas, and of this coarser habit,n1194 as I have told you diversgg406 and sundrygg1211 times, Thomas, and indeed of you, Thomas, that confine me to’t; but the bound must obey.
308SalewareNever the sooner for a hasty wordn3691, I hope, sweet Ally; not of me, nor of my shop, I prithee,gg262 at seasonable times, love. But for thy habitgg128 (though this be decent on a citizen’s wife) use thine own fancy.gs126 Let it be as courtly or as ladylike as thou pleasest, or my lordn1413 desires.
309AliciaThen I am friends again.
310SalewareTroth, and I’ll call thee ‘friend’, and, I pritheegg262, let that be our familiar and common compellationgg1244: friend.n1414 It will sound daintilygg646, especially when thou shalt appear too gallantgs139 to be my wife.
311AliciaThen let it be so, friend.
312SalewareIn truthn1426 it shall, and I am very much taken with it. Friend, I have found a customer today that will take offgs160 my rich parcel of broad bed-lace that my Lord Paylate bespokegs161 and left on my hands for lack of money.
313AliciaI have sold it already, friend, with other laces at a good rate.
315AliciaYes, friend, a hundred pounds and somewhat more.
316SalewareWho would be, or who could live, without such a friend in such a shop? This money comes so patgg1246 for a present occasion to stop a gap. It has stopped a gap already, friend.n1247
317AliciaI have disposed of the money, the odd hundred pound for apparel, friend, and other accommodationsgg1247 for myself.
318SalewareNever the sooner for a hasty word, I hope, friend.
319AliciaI have done it, friend, whereby to appear more courtly and ladylike, as you say, to gain you more custom to your shop.
321AliciaAnd, friend, you must not be angry or think much of it if you respect your profit, friend.
322SalewareI were no friend but a wretch if I would. No, let it go, friend, and— Sapientia mea mihin157 is my wordgs162— I must not grudgegg1249 at my friend in anything.
323AliciaThen, friend, let your shop be your own care for the rest of this day; I have some businessn1415 abroad.
324SalewareWhither, sweet friend?
325AliciaIs that a friendly question?
327AliciaTo watch me, shall I? And give you account of my actions? Was that spoke like a friend?
329AliciaYet again?
330SalewareAnd again I am corrected, friend.
331AliciaNeither to supper, nor to bed perhaps.
332SalewareNever the sooner for a hasty word, I hope.
333AliciaBut if I chance to staygs163, you cannot be a faithful friend and ask me where, or in what company; friendship, you know, allows all liberty.Exit.
334SalewareSapientia mea mihi. A witty wife, with an imperious will,
Being crossed, finds means to cross her husband still;
2.2
Enter CARELESS with two letters in his hand, and WAT with a candle and waxn1257.
335CarelessDoes not the world come finely on, Wat, ha? And have not we convenient comings ingg1252 already, ha! Show[s] gold.
337CarelessI need no more ensconcinggg1253 now in Ram Alley, nor the sanctuary of Whitefriarsn1575, the forts of Fuller’s Rentsn1576 and Milford Lanen1577, whose walls are daily battered with the curses of bawling creditors. My debts are paid, and here’s a stock remaining of gold, pure gold; hark how sweetly it chinksgg1254. CARELESS seals his letters.
339CarelessFor necessariesgg1257, Wat, for necessaries it shall changegg203, and ring all out, and ’twill so long as I have an uncle, and
Know to manage him, let money fly,
I can no faster spend than he supply.n1417
340WatFor necessaries, sir; but you must not now count sackgg483 and tobacco, whores and fiddlers in abundance “necessaries”.
341CarelessWhy, pray?
342WatBecause you’ll have but little then for extraordinariesgg1264, that is to say, in a gentleman, for charitable and pious works and uses.
344WatNot spoiled neither: for I would but waiven1427gg1267 your purpose of flying at all new game, and neglectn1428 your poor whore, who now begins to be so violent for wrongs she can no longer bear, that she intends to pursue you with her complaints hithergg1268 to your uncle’s house.
347CarelessIs not the question first asked me, ‘What will you have to breakfast? What will please you for dinner, and what for supper?’ Has not my uncle let out monies, and taken bonds and mortgages in my name? Do not his tenants crouchgg1272 to me, and his servants all call me young master? And does not my uncle take care to marry me to ten thousand pound and a thing like a wife?
348WatYou have got a brave possession here, I must needs say; and I applaud your fortune most in this, that your young aunt, the noble lady here, who you seen1418 feared would prove a cruel stepdamegg1273 to you, appears to be more friend to you than your uncle. ’Tis a most gracious sunshinegg1275 in her.
349CarelessShe shall lose nothing by’t. I have thought a way to requite her.
351CarelessI do not like your zealous solicitation, but here’s an order for her, in answer of her malapertgg1276 letter you brought me last night. [Hands WAT a letter and money.] Give it her, and these five piecesgg80, upon condition that she never come, write, or send to me again, till I send to her.
352WatThat’s somewhat hard, sir.
353CarelessNay, look yougg1277, Wat, you are a little mistaken in me. I must give overgg396 whoring, for special causesn1289 there unto me moving.
354WatOh, now I findgg1278 you. And ’twere richly worth your patience if you could win the widow by’t, for whom you stood in fair electiongg828 once, until your last debauchment.
355CarelessI shall stand fairer for her, sir, when I leave working but a week or two,n1419 shall I not?
356WatYes, if you leave it quitegg1279. But to forsakegg1280 her whom you have brought low, to fall togg1281 others, were such a thing—
357CarelessWell, sir, it may be I will, it may be I won’t: what’s that to you? Carry you the letter and the money, and try how that will work with her.
358WatI’ll do my best, but if she should exclaim and bring on her cousin, Master Saleware, to be clamorous —
359CarelessHer cousin’s a cuckold. Exclaim and clamorous! Give me my money again.
360WatNay, I am gone, sir.Exit.
Enter SAVEALL.
361Careless [Aside] The rogue’s in factiongg1282 with ’em. [Aloud] Oh noble Master Saveall, you have most fairly kept your minute with me. I have written my letter, sealed it and all, here to the widow.
362SaveallSo early? That is well.
363CarelessI have written no less than six large epistles this morning, and sent ’em now by my man to be conveyed into the country to lords and knights, with all the news spiritual and temporal, foreign and domestic, that could possibly fall into a private gentleman’s collection.
364SaveallIs it possible?
365CarelessWith such dexterity that if I would make a trade on’t, I could undo all the newsmongersn3778 in town that live by’t.
366SaveallIt is a most commendable practice in a gentleman, and it will mature your judgement in both then1429 commonwealth and state affairs, and in short time invite you unto the chair or helmn1430.
367CarelessWhen I am once married and settled, you shall see. [Aside] What an ass ’tis; he believes me.
368SaveallHow am I comforted in my meditation for you, and how overjoyed will your uncle be at the use you make of your retirements!gg1286
369CarelessI confess it is (by reason of my unwontednessgg1287 to it) some difficulty for me to write to women; wherefore, since you have so nobly undertaken the conveyance of this, let me beseech you to apologize for the rudenessgg1753 of my style.
[CARELESS gives SAVEALL a letter.]
370Saveall [He reads] “To the fair hands of the most accomplished in virtue, Mistress Anne Crostill, present, I pray, with my service”. The outside hath no rudeness on it, and (I doubt it not) she shall find within all sweetness and urbanity.gg1288
371CarelessAs you may interpret it to her, sir.
372SaveallSir, what I have already said, and do intend to say unto her from yourn1431 uncle and myself on your behalf, together with what you have here written, shall (I doubt it not) prepare so fair a way of proceeding for you that at your visit of her you may say, veni, vidi, vici,n1293 she is your own.
373CarelessAnd then — aha, Master Saveall!
374SaveallExpect your fortune modestly, and when it comes, embrace it with discretion.
376SaveallIt is well if you be so; I will put my undertaking in action presently. Pray for my good success.[Exit.]
377CarelessI dare not tell him now I cannot; but I wish well for the money’s sake; and let the vintners pray, and all the decayedgg84 sparksgg1290 about the town, whom I will raise out of ashes into flame again. Let them pray for my good worksn1432.
[Aside] Oh, my young lady aunt’s grave waiting-woman. If she were not hers, and out of this house, I should take her for a bawdgg356 now. But being hers, and here, how much may I mistake? All flesh is frail.n1294
379CarelessAnd you have brought me — what, sweet Mistress Closet?
380ClosetA part of her ladyship’s own breakfast: it is very cordialgg1292 and comfortablegg1291 to the spirits, I assure you, and delectable to the younger sort, and profitable to the old.
381CarelessOne of Robert Greene’s worksn3694, or the mad doctor that preachesn3695 boiled in’t, I think.
382Closet’Tis a composition of mine own, sir, of many excellent decoctionsgg1293, of most wholesome, restorative, and costly ingredientsn3582.
383CarelessThat it was sent by her makes it more excellent, whose bounteous care of me I must acknowledge exceeds all cost in carving togg1294 me and countenancinggg1295 me at her table, in gracinggg290 me in presence of the ladies that come to visit her, in giving charge for decency in all things for my chamber, my fires shininggg1296, my odoursgg1297 burning, my liverygs168 served in, my soft and costly bed prepared and spread with perfumed linen. Here’s ambergrisgg1299 in this now —
384ClosetOh, is it so? Do you find that?
385CarelessBut though she is my own uncle’s wife, I could e’en say ’tis pity a young man had her not.
387CarelessShe is a most sweet lady.
388ClosetShe is a sweet lady, indeed; I can best speak it that have known her from the womb hithertogg1301. A sweet infant she was born, and a sweet babe I swaddled it, and a sweet child I nursed it; I trained it up a sweet child. It was in manners a sweet child, at her book and samplern1295gg1302 a sweet child. I never whipped it but once, and then it was sweet too, and sprawled but a little, and whimpered but a little, it was so sweet a child. And so she grew upwardsgg1304 and upwards towards womangg1303, and a sweet youngling she was, and so grew upwards and upwardsgs169 towards man, and then a sweet bride she was, and now a most sweet lady she is (as you say, and I commend you for it). And so she stands at a staygs170. For now she grows no more upwards than upon her wedding-day, not upwardsgs171 as I would have her upwards: here I mean, young gentlemann1296, could I but see a sweet babe of hers once by my master, I could be then content to sleep with my ancestors.n1297
389Careless [Aside] I had rather see your gibshipgg1305 hanged up with polecats in a warren, and your sweet lady with you, though I confess that were some pity. [Aloud] I hope her barrenness, or his, will preserve her from my curse.
390ClosetI hope still, and she hopes still; and I make him of this broth for every morning, and many other good strengthening things (I cannot say for the same purpose), for I shall never see him have an heir by her.
391CarelessExcellent! That’s best of all.
392ClosetBecause you then are heir, say you so? Is that your love to your aunt?
394ClosetThen I cry mercy.
395CarelessCannot all thy art and her cost find help for my uncle, think’st thou, to get a child?
396ClosetHelp? What d’ye mean? He might have help and helps enough, were she not too virtuous.
397CarelessStill thou mistak’st me, Nurse.
398ClosetAway, wag, away. Your aunt loves you too well to think so of her.
399CarelessNurse, as I hope to inherit anything hereafter —
400ClosetI should but serve you well to tell her your good thought of her.
402ClosetNay, nay.
403CarelessTake it, I say. And tell her, if thou wilt, that I love her so well, that were she not mine uncle’s wife, I would getgg726 her an heir myself rather than be his.
405CarelessAnd for my uncle, were I his heir apparentgg1309, I rather wish he might live till all this world were weary of him, and the next afraid to take him,
than I survive him. [Aside] Tonguen1436, a pox punish you for lying. [Aloud] Now I live well and merrily, good Nurse,
wealth and estates bring cares and troubles with ’em. Were all young heirs of my contented mind, parents and patrons would be better prayed for.
406ClosetGood gentleman.
408ClosetOh, my lady calls.
409CarelessPresent my thanks and best respects unto her.
413CarelessDesires she me, Nurse?
414ClosetYes, sir, she desires you —
415CarelessRefuse me if I desire not her as much, for all she is my uncle’s leavings.
416ClosetMy lady desires you —
417CarelessAnd she shall have me, Nurse, — ann1438gg1312 she were ten uncles’ wives, and she ten of mine aunts.
418ClosetOh, this head! Nay, now you will not hear me. She desires you to go abroadgg896 in the coach with her.
419CarelessAny whithergg1313n1310: to Islingtonn1578, Newingtonn1579, Paddingtonn1580, Kensingtonn1581, or any of the city outleapsgg1314 (I know ’em all) for a spurtgg1318 and back again. Tell her I am upn1316 and ready for her, and could ha’ been without her stirrup porridgegg1319, though I thank her for her care. A man cannot be too well prepared or provided for so sweet a lady in so much distress. A very Andromeda, chained to a rock. Takes up his cloak and sword.
420ClosetWhat’s this you say? I understand no word of it. I would take your answer right, though I faltered in my lady’s message.
421Careless [Aside] The devil’s in this overrunning tongue of mine; I could find in my heart to worm him out with my teeth.
422ClosetWhat must I tell my lady, sir?
423CarelessThat I am more obliged to her ladyship than I was to my mother: she has brought me a new man into the world, and that my being and my life is hers.
Enter LADY.
424Lady [Aside] I hope he’s a true convertitegg1320. [Aloud] Did I send you to hold discourse here, Closet?
425ClosetNor did I, madam; but I could hear this gentleman a whole day, methinks. He speaks so acknowledginglygg1323 of your ladyship’s virtue and goodness towards him.
426LadyI am beholding to him. Will you go with me, nephew, to the Exchange? I am to buy some toysgs1856 there for the country. You may get a fancygg1018 by’t.
428LadyOr cannot you forbear your study so long?
429Careless [Aloud] To do you service, madam, under whose commands I build my happiness.
430LadyBe not at the distance of compliment with me, good nephew.
431CarelessI would not be thought insolent, dear madam.
432LadyCome, the coachman grumbles at my stay, and ’twill be dinner-time presently, so the cook will be angry too.
433CarelessYou are all tenderness to your servants, madam.Exit[s with LADY Thrivewell].
434ClosetA sweet gentleman, and bountiful. If my lady had been blessed with such a husband, what a placegg571 had I had!Ex[it]n1439.
Edited by Eleanor Lowe
n2600 ACT TWO
Act Two, Scene One sees Lady Thrivewell acting with speed on her husband's information by paying a visit to his paid lover and ingeniously extracting the £100 payment from Alicia. The commercial setting, emphasis on trade and the sale of goods (with tangible items such as gold-lace, fringes and buttons on show) carefully foregrounds commodity as a major theme in the play. The £100 payment becomes an important prop and instrumental in the plot, as does the image of Alicia as a commodity displayed alongside her husband's wares in order to attract custom.
Lord Thrivewell isn't her only conquest: the arrival of Bellamy, Lord Lovely's servant, reveals that Alicia has been dallying with the master and wishes to have his 'man' too. The dynamism of women in this play is particularly noticeable in this scene: after Lady Thrivewell's assertive and threatening retrieval of money as goods from the shop (in exchange for money for sex), Alicia acts quickly to have her revenge by ordering Bellamy to woo her adversary before having her. Saleware's entrance confirms and augments Alicia's status as the one who wears the breeches in the relationship, manipulating her husband’s obsession with social climbing to take advantage of Lovely's offers of clothes and sexual favours. Saleware's decision that they should call each other 'friend' imitates the affectation of the nobility.
Scene Two finds Careless comfortably ensconced in the Thrivewells' residence, taking advantage of his uncle's generosity in cash and hospitality. He has written two letters, one to dismiss Phoebe, the other to proposition a rich widow (Crostill). The characters of Careless and Alicia are juxtaposed in these two scenes to highlight their similarities: deviant manipulation of other characters for their own gain, as conduits for financial and sexual transactions, and united in their lack of morality. Nurse Closet, who brings Careless a carefully-prepared morning restorative, demonstrates her affinity with other nurse characters of advanced years, such as the Nurse in Romeo and Juliet. Her appearance compounds awareness of Brome's use of stock characters, perhaps something he inherits from Jonson's development of humours' comedy. The scene ends with Lady Thrivewell inviting her step-nephew to accompany her on a shopping trip, where once again the purchase of consumables is received as an opportunity for sexual misconduct (by Careless).
n254 Apprentice
n277 Cheapside
n278 Lombard Street
gg458 stuff
gg459 commodity
n279 commodity
n11286 ready money
n281 find it perhaps never
n1402 payments
gg1345 prized
n282 broad plate silver and gold lace,
gg460 dram
n430 halfpenny
n319 but because ready money came not to fetch it off, fortune reserved it here for you.
gs76 fetch it off
n1574 London walls
n320 Sir Oliver
gg461 overcast
gg462 restitution
n321 restitution
n322 that
n323 [Servingman with box of goods] exits.
n256 Servingman
n324 weight
gg103 presently
gg463 privy to
gg464 journeyman’s
gg352 office
n430 halfpenny
gs77 odd
gg489 post and pair
n432 post and pair
gg490 farthing-gleek
n433 hundreds
gs77 odd money
n431 odd
n1403 me then? I’ll
n3692 lent
gs287 commodity
n1405 when it was to do you a good turn
During workshops of this scene, the actor Robert Lister suggested that in these lines Lady Thrivewell is offering a get-out clause to Alicia: she can use her husband's financial inadequacy to explain the £100 'loan' (rather than his sexual incompetence). Robert also identified Lady Thrivewell's speeches as a double pact: she won't say anything about Alicia's infidelity, but neither must Alicia expose Lady Thrivewell as a cuckquean. During actor workshops, the actors experimented with the level of threat in Lady Thrivewell's voice and the rapidly-processed thoughts exposed on Alicia's face.
n434 you wanted it?
gg491 wanted
n435 dead vacation,
gg492 vacation
gg493 take it out
gg494 any
gg495 pledge
gs78 cast
gg496 vouchsafe
gg68 Ever
gg497 like
gg498 boot
n437 Can it be he?
gg499 conference
gg500 depending on
gg1346 blame
n439 and once more to the devil.
n440 beardless Bellamy.
n438 [Enter BELLAMY].
n562 But you are sad or angry. Why seems that brow to threaten a subjection over him that is your vanquished captive? Or has Cupid placed his bow there bent at me, whose heart already lodges all his arrows, never to be restored but by your pity?
But you are sad or angry.
Why seems that brow to threaten a subjection
Over him that is your vanquished captive?
Or has Cupid placed his bow there bent at me,
Whose heart already lodges all his arrows,
Never to be restored but by your pity?
gg523 vanquished
n563 Or has Cupid placed his bow there bent at me,
gg301 vexed
gg24 would
gg524 mad
gg526 cross
gg525 chapwoman
n1420 squabble
gg527 overlook
n564 set us there
gg528 overreached
gg529 matter
gs79 matter
gg530 penthouse
n565 (you know)
n566 change my coat,
gg531 alderman
gg453 mercer
n567 four days since
gg538 suit
gs80 suit
n673 found, yet his
n674 land might ha’ been measured
n676 instrument
Bellamy quickly learns to take his/her own advantage of the current situation: unwilling to woo Alicia on Lord Lovely's (i.e. Bellamy's own love's) behalf, s/he decides on the spur of the moment to use Alicia's infidelity to her advantage by wooing for 'himself', hoping to remove Alicia from Lord Lovely's grasp.
There are marked similarities between Bellamy/Amy's role (sent to woo on behalf of a master with whom s/he is in love) and that of Cesario/Viola in Twelfth Night. Shirley also takes advantage of this popular play's trope in The Doubtful Heir, in which the heroine is called Olivia. Caroline audiences were expected to bring cross-readings with other drama to their theatrical experience of a new play.
gs153 base blot
gg540 pander
gg541 agency
gg542 work
n677 to supply ’em both,
gg1192 level-coil;
n1164 level-coil;
n1165 a pair of tables
n1163 the Bear at the Bridgefoot
n1406 appointments
gg447 cast
n1193 schooled
n3693 D’ye hear
n1170 Bellamine
gg1195 tother
n3925 [APPRENTICE exits.]
n1172 Cynthia at Endymion
n1421 me,
n1173 length of my man’s ears
n1174 What so?
gs47 handsome
gg1196 w’ye?
n1407 what you would have me do or what you would do with me.
n1422 [Aside]
gg1197 daunt
n1423 daunt
gs59 handsomely,
gg715 fain
gg1198 birding-piece.
gg1024 fribbled
gs150 lay by
gg1199 roundly
n1424 I would entreat you—
n1178 To wear this pair of silk stockings for me?
n1408 stockings
gg773 suit
n1179 ask me something.
gg24 would
n1180 my unworthiness.
n1181 It is—that you would,
gs136 favours
n277 Cheapside
gs151 dally
gg1196 w’ye
gg914 undone.
n1182 o’ the hip.
gg24 would
gs152 lie with
n1183 good earnest,
gg1200 trifling
n1409 come to’t
gg776 on’t
n1184 whisper me,
gg1201 loath
n1185 I need not set her out.
gs153 base blot
gg540 pander
gg1202 even
gg1203 account
gg25 unfeignedly
n1186 to try my constancy.
gs517 satisfy
n1425 Enter SALEWARE.
n1410 husband’s
n1411 Saleware
n1189 And there I will direct you in your progress.
n1190 Ally,
gg1206 overbought
gs154 use
n1412 fair dealing
gg896 abroad
gg388 asinego’s
gg528 overreached
gg1208 underreach
n1193 mechanic course,
n1194 coarser habit,
gg406 divers
gg1211 sundry
n3691 Never the sooner for a hasty word
gg262 prithee,
gg128 habit
gs126 fancy.
n1413 lord
gg262 prithee
gg1244 compellation
n1414 friend.
gg646 daintily
gs139 gallant
n1426 In truth
gs160 take off
gs161 bespoke
gg1245 ready money
gg1246 pat
n1247 It has stopped a gap already, friend.
gg1247 accommodations
gg1248 Uch
n157 Sapientia mea mihi
gs162 word
gg1249 grudge
n1415 business
gg953 man
gs155 wait
gs60 Do your own pleasure.
gs163 stay
gg1250 match
gg1083 gall
gg744 Temper
n1256 wit-all.
n1257 candle and wax
gg1252 comings in
n1416 paid, for that’s
gg776 on’t.
gg1253 ensconcing
n1575 sanctuary of Whitefriars
n1576 Fuller’s Rents
n1577 Milford Lane
gg1254 chinks
n1270 ring the changes
gg1257 necessaries
gg203 change
n1417 Know to manage him, let money fly, I can no faster spend than he supply.
'Let money fly,
I can no faster spend than he supply'.
gg483 sack
gg1264 extraordinaries
n1283 The fellow’s spoiled.
gg1266 spoiled
gg1267 waive
n1427 waive
n1428 neglect
gg1268 hither
gg1013 draught
gg1270 dry
gg1272 crouch
n1418 see
gg1273 stepdame
gg1275 sunshine
gs165 order
gg1276 malapert
gg80 pieces
gg1277 look you
gg396 give over
n1289 special causes
gg1278 find
gg828 election
n1419 I shall stand fairer for her, sir, when I leave working but a week or two,
gg1279 quite
gg1280 forsake
gg1281 fall to
gg1282 faction
n3778 newsmongers
n1429 both the
n1430 chair or helm
gg1286 retirements!
gg1287 unwontedness
gg1753 rudeness
gg1288 urbanity.
n1431 your
n1293 veni, vidi, vici,
gg1289 edified.
gg84 decayed
gg1290 sparks
n1432 works
n1433 Enter Nurse [CLOSET] with caudle-cup.
gg78 caudle-cup.
gg356 bawd
n1294 All flesh is frail.
n1434 Closet
gg1292 cordial
gg1291 comfortable
n3694 One of Robert Greene’s works
n3695 mad doctor that preaches
gg1293 decoctions
n3582 wholesome, restorative, and costly ingredients
gg1294 carving to
gg1295 countenancing
gg290 gracing
gg1296 shining
gg1297 odours
gs168 livery
gg1299 ambergris
gg1300 wag’s
gg1301 hitherto
gg1302 sampler
n1295 sampler
gg1304 upwards
gg1303 woman
gs169 upwards
gs170 stay
gs171 upwards
n1296 gentleman
n1297 sleep with my ancestors.
gg1305 gibship
n1298 bottom
n1435 by this good ... piece
gs166 piece
gg726 get
gg1163 moved
gg1309 heir apparent
n1436 Tongue
n1437 LADY withinNurse Closet! Closet!
gg1310 naught
gg1311 member
gg22 put me out
gg1312 an
n1438 an
gg896 abroad
n1310 Any whither
gg1313 whither
n1578 Islington
n1579 Newington
n1580 Paddington
n1581 Kensington
gg1314 outleaps
gg1318 spurt
n1316 up
gg1319 stirrup porridge
gg1320 convertite
gg1323 acknowledgingly
gs1856 toys
gg1018 fancy
gs136 favours
gg571 place
n1439 Ex[it]
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