Act. IV. Scæn. I.
Enter Bettie, Frank, with swords drawn make
fast the door.
Bett.Nay, you perpetual Puſſe, I’le fetch him
out of the very bowels of thee.
Fran.He never came ſo deep himſelf yet with all
that he could do, and I ſcorne the threat’ning of a
Nick. (Within) why
Bettie,
Frank, you mankinde
Carions you. I vow, open the door, will you both
kill one another, and cozen the Hangman of his
Bett.Thou hadſt been better have bit off the dugs
of thy Damme, thou pin-buttock Jade thou, than
have ſnapt a bit of mine from me.
Fran.Here’s that ſhall ſtay your ſtomack better then
the bit you ſnarle for. Thou greedy Brach thou.
[E4v]Nick.
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Nick. (Within) why wenches, are ye wild? break
Bett.That I could ſplit that divelliſh tongue of
Fran.I have as good a ſpight at as ill a member
Enter Nick, Anthony.
Nick.Hold, what’s the devil in ye.
Ant.Are ye ſo ſharp-ſet ye Amazonian Trulls?
Belt.Let me but make one paſſe at her.
Fran.Pray let me go, and let her come.
Nick.Can no blunter tooles than theſe ſerve to
Bett.Let me come but within nailes reach of
Fran.Let me but try the ſtrength of my teeth
Nick.As
Hector’twixt the hoſts
of Greece and
Troy,
When
Paris and the
Spartane King ſhould end
Their nine yeares warres, held up his brazen lance.
In ſignal, that both Armies ſhould ſurceaſe,
And hear him ſpeak. So let me crave your audience.
Dear
Bettie be adviſed, and
Frank, forbear
Thy thirſt of Siſters blood. Whileſt I rip up
The folly of your ſtrife. Your caſes both
Have been laid open to me. You contend
For love of a lewd Citizen, that ſleights,
Nay more, diſdaines, nay more, defies you both.
Tony can tell,
Mun Clotpoll alſo knows
The words he ſpake, that you were both poor whores,
Not poor alone, but foule infectious harlots.
And that he wears your mark with pain and ſorrow,
Hopeleſſe to claw them off. With conſtant purpoſe
Never to ſee you more, unleſſe to greet
[E5r]Your
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
Your bumping buttocks with revengeful feet.
Fran.And muſt we two fall out for ſuch a ſlander-
Nick.Buſſe and be friends. Buſſe, or I’le baſte ye
Bet.Come Siſter we’ll be in for ever now.
Fran.For my part, Siſter, ſure I was not out with
Bet.But did he ſay he would kick us?
Ant.Lo here, the man that dares it not deny.
Enter Citizen, Drawer.
Cit.But do ye hear, Gentlemen.
I hope you will
Cit.Then to win all my money, and leave me at
ſtake for the reckoning. Pray do you pay the Drawer
for me, though
I pay you again.
Draw.The Gentlewomen and he had 14 ſh. in
Nick.’Tis a plain caſe, your cloak muſt anſwer it
at the bar, Sir, Drawer, away with it.
[Exit Drawer with Cloke.
Nick.I vow, do but look after it, till we be gone,
and theſe ſhall claw thine eyes out.
Cit.Well ſir,
I hope this quarter will not be al-
Ant.Do you grumble? Mr.
Cuffeleſſe.
Nic.I vow you ſhall have cuffes.
Fran.Cuts and ſlaſhes too before we part, Sir.
[E5v]Cit.
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Cit.You will not murder me, will you?
Nick.Damoſels forbear; and you, forbear your
noiſe. I vow, I’le ſlit your wiſtle elſe. You ſhall
give him due correction civilly, and we will make him
take it civilly. Sit you down Sir.
Cit.What will you do with me?
Enter Clotpoll, Cockbraine.
Clot.O, are ye here! was it a brotherly trick do ye
think, to leave me to pay one reckoning twice? or did
I think never to be made a mouth more, after I had
paid my ſwearing dinner, and am I now a greater
Nick.Mum, hold your tongue ſtill in your mouth,
leſt I halifax it with your teeth.
Clot.Halifax my tongue. And liſten to a busineſſe.
Nick.Do you know this man?
Clot.Yes, the City mouth we had tother night.
Nick.Theſe are the Siſters that his laviſh tongue ſo
Clot.I cry them heartily mercy. Are you of the ſweet
Siſterhood?
I hope to know you all, all the pretty
Mumpers in the berrie here, before I have done. ’Tis
true,
I proteſt, he ſpake words of you, that ſuch fleſh
and blood could not bear. He could not have ſpoken
worſe of mutton of a groat a quarter.
Bet.And were we ſo fond to fight for him?
Fran.But now we’ll both be revenged on the
Cit.Pray let me ſpeak with you.
Nick.No, they ſhall beat you firſt. And mark
me well. Do thou but ſtir an hand or foot, or raiſe a
voice that may be heard to the next room, we’ll cut
thy weaſand. Now wenches take your courſe
[E6r]Bet.
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Bet.Nay, you ſlave, we’ll mark you for a Sheep-
Fran.We’ll teach you how to ſcandalize.
Bet.Have I given you that you cannot claw off, you
Fran.We’ll claw thine eares off rather.
Cock.O out-rage, moſt inſufferable, all this goes
Nick.To him
Bettie, at him
Frank; there whores, there.
Ant.Fie, fie, forbear, enough, too much in con-
Cock.That young man has ſome pity yet.
Ant.I ſwear you ſhall no more.
Cock.Alas, good Gentlemen, it is enough,
Nick.I vow, do you prate? you ſhall have as
much. Come, take the Chaire, Sir, the breaches ſhall
Nick.I vow, they ſhall. To him and claw him, I’le
clapperclaw your ſides elſe
Cock.O me! what mean you?
Bett.Heyday! his beard comes off.
Ant.And his head too. What rotten ſcab is this?
Clot.I proteſt, they have pulled my pieced brother
Nick.I vow, ſome diſguiz’d villain, and but for do-
ing the State ſo good ſervice, we would hang him pre-
ſently without examination.
Ant.I know him. And you ſhall not touch him. Beſt
is, he knows nor me. Good Heaven, what Brain-
[E6v]Nick.
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Nick.I vow, what canſt thou be?
Ant.Come, ’tis an honeſt fellow, that is only a-
ſham’d to run ſo baſe a courſe for his living in his
own face. Poor man, I warrant his feare threatens
his breeches ſhrewdly. But let’s away, and quickly,
our ſtay is dangerous. Come, we forgot
Mich.
Nick.Come all away then, Sirrah, thank this
Gentleman, and pray for him at the end of your Songs
Clot.Farewel, friend Peece. I’le know you better
now, before you have’t again.
Ex. omnes but Cock.
and Cit.
Cock.What monſters in mankinde? what hell-hounds
are they? only as
Ovid feign’d among the Getes.
A friend at need, I with a friend was bleſt,
Whom I may gratifie, and plague the reſt.
Cock.Indeed you are ſorely handled. This may
warne you out of ſuch caterwaling company. You
look like one more civil. And in hope you will be
ſo, I’le bring you to a Barber.
Cock.I’le help you to that too, ſo you with me,
Will in an honeſt plot Aſſiſtant be.
Cit.O Sir, in any thing, and thank you too, Sir.
Exeunt Ambo.
Scœn. 2.
Enter Mihil, Gabriel, Boy, Wine, &c.
Mih.A Paris ill ya ben veni. Here’s no buſh at
this door, but good wine rides poſt upon’t, I mean, the
ſign-poſt. Boy, get you down, and if
Nick Rooksbill,
or any of his company ask for me, bring ’em up, d’ye
[E7r]Boy.
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Boy.I will, I will, Sir.
Ex.
Mi.You are welcome to
Paris brother
Gabriel.
Gab.It is nevertheleſſe a Tavern, brother
Mihil,
and you promiſed and covenanted with me at the laſt
houſe of noiſe and noiſomneſſe, that you would not
lead me to any more Tavernes.
Mih.Lead you brother? men uſe to be led from
Tavernes ſometimes. You ſaw I did not lead you
nor bring you to any that was more a Tavern then
the laſt, nor ſo much neither; for here is no Buſh you
Gab.’Twas that betrayed and entrapped me: but
Mih.Pray let us drink firſt brother. By your leave
Gab.One glaſſe-full more is the moſt that I can
bear. My head is very full, and laboureth with that
Mih.There Sir, I’le undertake one good fellow, that
has but juſt as much Religion as will ſerve an honeſt
mans turne, will bear more wine then ten of theſe gid-
dy-brain’d Puritaines, their heads are ſo full of whim-
Gab.’Tis mighty headie, mighty headie, and truly
I cannot but think that the over much abuſe of theſe
out-landiſh liquors, have bred ſo many errours in the
Mih.Indeed brother, there is too much abuſe made
of ſuch good creatures. Wine in it ſelf is good, you
will grant, though the exceſſe be nought; and Ta-
vernes are not contemptible, ſo the company be
Gab.It is moſt true, we finde that holy men have
gone to Tavernes, and made good uſe of ’em upon their
Mi.And cannot men be content to take now and
[E7v]then
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then a cup, and diſcourſe of good things by the way.
As thus. Brother, here’s a remembrance (if ſhe be li-
ving and have not loſt her honour) to our Couſin
Gab.O that kinſwoman of ours. She was the dear-
eſt loſſe that e’re fell from our houſe.
Mi.Pledge her, good brother.
Mi.I hope ’twill maudlenize him.
Gab.But have you never ſeen that miſcreant that
wrong’d her, ſince he did that ſame, they ſay you
Mi.Alas, ſuppoſe I had, what could be done? ſhe’s
loſt we ſee. What good could ſhe receive by any
Gab.It had been good to have humbled him, though
into the knowledge of his Tranſgreſſion. And of
himſelf for his ſoules good, either by courſe of Law,
or elſe in caſe of neceſſity, where the Law promiſeth
no releeſe, by your own right hand you might have
ſmote him, ſmote him with great force, yea, ſmote
him unto the earth, until he had prayed that the evil
Mih.This is their way of loving enemies, to beat
’em into goodneſſe. Well, brother, I may meet
with him again, and then I know what to do. If he
knew him as I do now, what a religious combate were
here like to be at
Nicks coming.
Enter Boy.
[Link] Sir, here’s a Gentlewoman asks for Mr.
Rooks-
Mih.The travell’d Gallant, is’t not.
Boy.Yes ſir, and the old black party, her Landlady
with her. But they ask for nobody but him, ſir.
[E8r]Mih.
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Mih.Say he is here by all meanes, and bring ’em
Gab.Women! pray brother lets avoid the place,
let us flie it. What ſhould we do with women in a Ta-
Mih.No harme aſſure your ſelfe, cannot we go-
Enter Dorcas and Madge, and start back.
Nay, Lady, ſtay, he will be here preſently, that you
Gab.I will not glance an eye toward tempta-
Mih.I am amaz’d ſure, I have ſeen this face,
howe’re your habit and the courſe of time may
Dorc.Good Angels, help my thoughts and memo-
ry. It is my Kinſman
Mihil. What’s the other that
Dorc.It is my Couſin
Gabriel, ſtrangely altered.
Mih.Come hither you. I’le make a little bold
with you. Thou that haſt been a concealer of more
ſins in womens actions, then thou haſt grizled
Dorc.Sure I will ſpeak to him, he alwayes lov’d
Mih.Reveale a truth to me on my demand, now
inſtanrly, without premeditation. I’le cut thy tongue
Mad.What’s here to do? do you think I am a
devil? that you make ſuch conjurations over me.
Mih.I think thou art as true a ſervant of his as
any Bawd can be. But lie now if thou dareſt. How
long have you known that Gentlewoman? and what
[E8v]Dorc.
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Mad.Here’s a ſtirre about nothing. I know no-
thing by her, not I. Nor whether ſhe has any thing
or nothing, that a woman ſhould have by the re-
port of knowledge of man, woman or beaſt, not I.
She came to me but this morning, with a purpoſe to
ſet me up in my new houſe as I hoped. But ſhe has
taken a courſe to make it honeſtly ſpoken of already,
to my utter undoing, but ſhe never comes within my
doors again, as
I hope to thrive by my Trade here-
Dorc.Pray look upon me, ſir.
Mih.Was ſhe ſo reſolutely bent, and ſo ſoon al-
Mad.Upon the very firſt ſight of the very firſt man
that came into my houſe, the very firſt houre of my
Mad.A ſhame take him, your roaring friend,
Nick.
I think ſhe is enamoured of him, or of ſomething ſhe
gueſſes he has; and would faine play the honeſt
woman with him, that never played honeſt man
Mih.’Tis ſhe, and ’tis moſt wonderful.
Dorc.If you knew who I were, you would not be ſo
Mad.And here ſhe comes me a hunting after
him, like a fondling, whileſt halfe a dozen peeces might
ha’ been gotten at home by this time, and ſhe have had
the halfes of it in her purſe by this time; if ſhe would
have done, as I thought, ſhe would have done by this
Mad.I ſent whooping after the beſt gueſt that
haunt my houſe, to have taken the firſt fruits of her
converſation, and ſhe would not ſee a man of ’em, to
FMih.
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
Mih.Well leave thy hooting,
Madge, and hold
thy peace, thou ſhalt get by it.
Mad.Yes, I ſhall get a good name ſhortly, and
this geare hold, and turn begger, I ſhall.
Dor.Pray ſir, but one word.
Mih.Speak to her, brother, ’tis our Couſin
Dor-
Gab.Will you abuſe me too? is ſhe not loſt?
Mih.And will not you give her leave to be found
again? his wine and her ſudden apprehenſion works
on him at once. Couſin I’le ſpeak to you, though
I confeſſe the miracle of our meeting thus ama-
Dorc.O Couſins both. As ye are Gentlemen, and
of that noble ſtock, whose meer remembrance, when
he was given up, and at the brink of deſperate folly,
ſtroke that reverend fear into my ſoul, that hath pre-
ſerv’d my honour from further falling. Lend me
now your aide, to vindicate that honour by that man,
that threw me in the way of loſſe and ruine.
Mih.All ſhall be well, good Couſin, you ſhall
have both hands and hearts to re-eſtate you in
him. So that in fact you have not wrong’d that ho-
nour, ſince he forſook you.
Dorc.On my ſoule I have not.
Mih.Infants then ſhall be pardoned. Brother
Dorc.You were wont ſtill to be my loving’ſt Cou-
Gab.What a ſtrange dream has wine wrought in
Mih.I hope it will work out his ſuperfluous zeale.
And render him civil Chriſtian again.
Dorc.It is no dream, good Couſin, you are awake,
And I, that
Dorcas,for whom you have wiſh’t
Affinity of blood might be diſpenſ’d with. And you
[F1v]to
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to be my choice. So well you lov’d me.
Gab.And will above my life affect you ſtill. But
you muſt leave theſe gauds and prophane dreſ-
Mad.Bawds did he ſay? how comes he to know
Dorc.How came my Couſin
Gabriel thus tran-
Out of gay cloathes, long haire, and lofty ſpirit,
Stout and brave action, manly carriage;
Into ſo ſtrict a Reformation?
Where is the martial humour he was wont ſo to affect.
Mih.His purity and your diſgrace fell on you both
Gab.Do you ſwear by your
FAITH?
Mi.He’s falling back again.
Boy.Some more wine. You will drink with our
Couſin, brother, will you not?
Boy.What wine is’t, Gentlemen?
Gab.Yes, in a cup of ſincere love.
Boy.What other wine you please, Gentlemen,
we have none ſuch i’th’ houſe.
Mih.Of the ſame we had, ſir.
Dor.Call not for wine for us, Couſin.
Mad.Aſſuredly, we are not prophane wine-bibbers,
Gab.Modeſt, and well-ſpoken verily, ſhe ſhould
Mih.Yes, yes, we’ll all drink for the good o’th’
’Tis upon putting down, they ſay, and more o’th
neighbours. But Couſin, he knew you not to day.
Dorc.No, nor dreams of me.
Mih.And the old one knowes nothing, does
F 2Mih.
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Mih.She can bewray nothing then. My brother
knows not him. I only do for his faire Siſters fake,
of which you may hear more hereafter; in the mean,
bear your ſelfe faire and free, as if you knew him
not, and I’le work him to your end, never fear it.
Dorc.You are a noble Spokeſman.
[Bawd and Gabriel confer devoutly the while.
Mad.Truly, you ſpeak moſt edifyingly.
Enter Boy with Wine.
Mih.Well-ſaid, give it to my brother. Drink to
Gab.I will, and to that vertuous Matron, whoſe
care of her, I hope, tends unto good edification.
–Truly the wine is good, and I was ſomething
Mad.Beſt drink again then, Sir.
Gab.I will follow your motherly advice.
[Drinks.
Mih.’Twill work, anon, I hope.
Gab.And you have travelled, Couſin. I may ſup-
poſe you brought this well-diſpoſed Gentlewoman
from
Amſterdam with you. And this unto your wel-
come, hoping I ſhall be informed by you how the
two zealous brethren thrive there? that broke in St.
Mad.Of that or anything ſir, pray drink again,
Mih.You Jade you, hold your tongue.
Enter Nick, Anthony, Clotpoll, Bettie, Frank.
Nick.O, are ye here Gallants! I made all the
haſte I could, but was ſtayed, I vow, by the braveſt
ſport, baiting of a fellow or two with our Puſſe-cats
here. I could e’ne find in my heart to marry ’em both
[F2v]Dorc.
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Dorc.Thoſe words are daggers.
Mih.I pray diſſemble your paſſion.
Nick.What? are you acquainted already?
Mich.Did I not tell thee ſhe was a brave Ma-
Mih.How long have you had acquaintance with
Nick.Never ſaw her before this morning, I, ſtand-
Gab.Truly Couſin, I think ’twas you that I saw to
day too, ſtanding upon a Bellconee.
Nick.You ſpell very modeſtly, ſir. Your brother,
I take it. But did you call her Couſin, ſir.
Gab.Yes ſir, ſhe is my Couſin.
Mih.’Twill out too ſoon. Why
Nick, thou know-
eſt theſe kinde of creatures call and are called Cou-
Nick.Yes, in their tribe. But I thought he had
been too holy for them. But Dammy–
Gab.O fearfully prophane!
Nick.You ſaid you had a ſtorie to relate, of dire
miſfortune, and of unquoth hearing. I come to hear
your ſtory, what ſtop you your eares at? ſir.
Gab.I dare not ſpeak it but in thy reproof. Thou
ſweareſt Gee o Dee, Dee a m thee, as
I take it.
Nick.I vow thou lieſt,
I called her
Dammy, be-
cauſe her name is
Damyris.
Gab.I ſay thou lieſt, her name is
Dorcas, which was
the name of an holy woman.
Nick.Shall we have things and things? I vow.
[Draw.
Clot.And I proteſt.
[Draw.
Mih.This will ſpoil all. Brother,
I pray for-
Gab.I may not forbear,
I am moved for to ſmite
him; yea, with often ſtripes to ſmite him; my zeal-
ous wrath is kindled, and he ſhall flie before me.
F 3Dorc.
The Covent-Gar den Weeded.
Dorc.Let me entreat you, ſir.
Nick.Great Damboys ſhrink, and give a little
Gab.I will purſue him in mine indignation.
Gab.And beat him into Potſheards.
Mad.Now he has bang’d the Pitcher, he may do
Mih.Pray brother, be perſwaded.
Clot.A brother to be ſo controuled?
Mih.You ſir, put up your Steel-ſtick.
Clot.I deſire but to know firſt, if he be a bro-
Mih.Yes marry is he, ſir.
Clot.Sir, I am ſatiſfied. So let him live.
Gab.Pray give me leave to ask you, do theſe men
take part with the brethren?
Mih.Yes, and are brothers a little disguiz’d, but
Gab.Some State-occaſions.
Mih.Meer Intelligencers, to collect up ſuch and
ſuch obſervations, for a great Separatiſt that is now
writing a book againſt playing at Barlibreak, moulding
of Cocklebread, and ſuch like prophane exerciſes.
Gab.Truly ſuch exerciſes are prophane exerciſes,
that bear the denomination of good things ordained
for mans uſe, as Barley, Cockles, and Bread are ſuch
things to be made ſports and play-games? I pray you
let me ſee theſe brethren again, to make my atone-
ment with them. And are thoſe Siſters too, that were
Mih.O, moſt notorious ones, and are as equally
diſguiz’d to be as rank Spies as the other. S’lid man,
and they ſhould be taken for ſuch as they are, they
would be cut off preſently. They came in this
[F3v]mad
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mad humour to be merry with you for my ſake.
Gab.Pray let ’em come again, I ſhall not be well
until I have rendred ſatisfaction.
Mih.You muſt do as they do then, or they will
think you are a Spie upon them.
Gab.I will be as merry as they, let wine be given
Mih.More wine, Boy, and bid’ em all come in.
Ex. Boy.
Dor.Alas, Couſin, let him drink no more.
Mih.Fear nothing, Couſin, it ſhall be for his good
and yours, as I will order it.
Enter Nick, Anthonie, Clotpoll, Bettie, Frank.
Drawer with wine.
Mih.All welcome, not any repetition, but begin
Gab.I will begin it, two glaſſes: it shall be a faith-
ful Salutation to all the Brothers and Siſters of–
Clot.The Blade and the Scabberd.
Ant.I’le ſwear you do not well to let him
Mih.Well ſaid civil Roarer.
Gab.Let it go round, go to, you are a wag. I know
what you mean by the Blade and the Scabberd.
Clot.Who could have thought this had been ſuch a
Gab.Nay, who could have thought you had been
Nick.Brethren ſir, we are the Brothers.
Gab.Yea, the diſguiz’d ones.
Nick.How? diſguiz’d ones?
Mih.Do not croſſe him again. If thou doeſt, and I
do not maul thee. Yes, brother, theſe are vertu-
F 4ous
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ous men howe’re they ſeeme.
Nick.I vow, I have ſo much vertue as to rebuke
thee for lying. But we are brethren, ſir, and as fa-
ctious as you, though we differ in the Grounds; for
you, ſir, defie Orders, and ſo do we; you of the
Church, we of the Civil Magiſtrate; many of us
ſpeak i’th’ noſe, as you do; you out of humility of
ſpirit, we by the wantonneſſe of the fleſh; now in de-
votion we go beyoud you, for you will not kneel to a
ghoſtly father, and we do to a carnal Mystreſſe.
Mih.I’le ſtop your mouth, you ſaid you came to
Nick.Yes, I vow, and brought Fidlers along, but
they muſt play i’th next room, for here’s one breaks
all the Fiddles that come in his reach. Come ſir,
will you drink, dance, and do as we do?
Gab.I’le drink, I’le dance, I’le kiſſe, or do any
thing, any living thing with any of you, that is Bro-
ther or Siſter. Sweet-heart let me feel thy Co-
Mih.I now he’s in. Play Fidlers. Dance.
All bravely perform’d, admirably well done, &c.
Nick.I vow, thou art a brother after my own
Women.We cannot commend you, enough, ſir.
Gab.This done in civil ſrt among our ſelves, I
hope, will prove no ſcandal to a brother.
Nick.’Twill prove an honour to our faction.
Gab.I thirſt to do it honour.
Clot.Give him ſome wine, he thirſts.
Mih.Thou little dapper thing, thou, hold thy
Ant.Thou ſeeſt he can ſcarce ſtand.
Gab.No, my religious brethren, no more wine.
Enough’s a feaſt, and little doth ſuffice.
I thirſt to do ſome honour to our cauſe. To lead
[F4v]forth
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
forth legions to fight a battel ’gainst our malignant
Gab.Such an employment now would make me
famous, for my ſufficiency of Att in Armes.
Nick.I vow, this man has hidden things in him.
Mih.He has as brave a warlike ſpirit, man, before
his preciſe humour tainted it, as ever breath’d in
Nick.I vow then, a good orderly diet of nothing
but ſack for a week together, would revive it in him,
and bring it to good again.
Mih.I hope, ’tis done already.
Gab.I feare ſome Jeſuitical fumes have invaded
my Brain pan. All me thinks goes whirley, whir-
Ant.Beſt lie down upon a bed. Drawer!
Gab.Souldiers muſt not be curious. A Bench or a-
Draw.The Gentleman may have a bed here, an’t
pleaſe you. But ſir, there’s an old angry Gentleman
below, that asks for you, and by all deſcription for
that mortified Geutleman. And will by all meanes
preſſe into your room here.
Dorc.O me! What ſhall I do?
Mi.Fear nothing, veile your face a little; Who
Draw.Nobody but his old Servingman, that it
ſeems diſcover’d you. You may put this Gentleman
into this inner room, and keep the Key your ſelfe. I
know not what charge he has about him.
Mih.Admirable honeſt fellow.
Draw.And you may tell your father he is gone, for
[F5r]Nick.
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
Draw.Now if you’ll be civil, I may bring him
up to you, if not, becauſe he is your father, we’ll
thruſt him out of doors, an’t pleaſe you.
Mi.Notable raſcal, well ſir, let him up. I know
Dorc.But this delays my buſineſſe, Couſin, and
will, I fear, fruſtrate my hopes.
Mi.Nor hinder any thing, I’le warrant thee, he’s
thine, Play Fidlers, t’other dance.
Mad.Come Wenches, if he venture in his fathers
ſight, ſhame take us and we bluſh.
[Dance.
Enter Croswill, Belt.
upon my money in Town here, out of danger of the
Statute,
I would give thee a Copihold for this diſ-
Belt.I thank your worſhip, and truly ’tis a good-
ly ſight, me thinks, an’t pleaſe your worſhip.
Cross.I’m glad it likes you. Heigh, excellent good
again. Heigh, Heigh, what an happineſſe may fathers
boast, that can bring their children up to this
(Dance
ended) I cry ye mercy, Gentlemen all, Ha!
I am ſor-
ry I interrupted your ſerious private occaſions.
Nick.Would you ſpeak with any here, ſir?
Mih.It is my father, Gentlemen?
Croſſ.Thy father? hold thy peace; dar’ſt thou uſe
thy father thus? to ſpend thy time thus! ha!
Is this
place fit for the ſon of a Gentleman of quality? ha!
why doeſt not anſwer me, does this company ſort
[F5v]Mi.
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
Croſſ.Hold thy peace,
I ſay, or are theſe exerci-
ſes allowable for a Gentleman, that ever ſaid or
heard Grace at his fathers Table? anſwer me
Mih.An’t pleaſe you, Sir.
Croſſ.Hold thy peace when
I bid thee.
Nick.The company, ſir, offends not you,
I hope, you
Croſſ.In good time, ſir, you are the diſtracted
Gentlemen,
I take it, that ask’t him if he would
moot to night?
Is this your mooting? do you put
caſes to your Wenches, or they to you?
Nick.I vow thy father talkes too much.
Croſſ.Which are the better Lawyers? ha!
Mad.But that you are his father, ſir, and an old
man, and he an honeſt young Gentleman, and our
friend, we would tell you.
Croſſ.I thank you for him, yes truly, heartily;
and for your good opinion of him, heartily. Pray
keep him amongſt you while you have him, for
I’le ha’
no more to ſay to him,
I.
Is your
Invectives againſt
drinking, wenching, and the abomination of the
times come to this? is this your ſpending of time
more pretious then money? is it you that knows not
what to do with money but to buy books; and were
drawn with ſuch unwillingneſſe to a Tavern? ha! you
ſhall graze upon
Littletons Commons, or eat nothing
but books, an’t pleaſe you, for any exhibition thou e-
ver get’ſt from me–And in that faith thou haſt
loſt a father. Come ſir, you have brought me to a
goodly ſight here; would any Villain but thy ſelfe
have ſhewed his Maſter light to ſee ſo much woe!
Thy Coxſcombe ſhall yet pay for’t.
Cross.This was your trim ſight, was it?
[F6r]Croſſ.
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
Croſſ.But well remembred. Pray where’s your bro-
ther? my ſon I would ſay; for I know no brother or
father thou haſt. Where is
Gabriel?
Croſſ.Did you not tell me, Sirrah, he was here?
Belt.I told you then too much. I feel it here.
CroſſHe was here, ſir, but he is gone, ſir.
Croſſ.So, ſo, he’s loſt. He muſt be cried, or we
Mih.I’le warrant you, I’le find him yet to night,
ſir. Pray Gentlemen pay you the Reckoning, I’le wait
Croſſ.Was that ſpoke like a ſon of mine? muſt o-
thers pay your reckoning, and I in place; take that,
and do not make me mad. And why ſhould you home
Mih.Becauſe ſir, it grows dark, and ’tis the worſt
way as it is about the town; ſo many odde holes a
man may ſlip into; pray take me with you, ſir.
Croſſ.Pray take no care for me, ſir, and let the way
be as it is. Do not think me worſe at it in the dark
then your ſelf, I beſeech you. But you talk’t of the
Reckoning, pray let not the want of money for that
hinder the ſearch of your brother. There s towards
your paines for that; and ſo for a farewel to you
and your friends here, till I hear thou keepeſt better
company, let me hear no more of thee.
[Ex. Croſſ and Belt.
Mih.There was no way to get this money, and be
rid of him, but to offer him my ſervice He would have
driven me out before him elſe. But come, let’s ſee my
brother that went to ſleep in ſo warlike a Paſſion. I
hope he’ll wake in a better.
Nick.Mun Clotpoll, thou art dull.
Clot.No, I proteſt, but ſtruck with admiration at
[F6v]Nick.
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
Nick.Come,
Dammy and the reſt, be merry.
I
vow, we’ll ſup together, and ſo at laſt hear all thy diſ-
Nick.I mean he ſhall, and such an Audit make,
As ſhall reſtore her honour from the ſtake.
Ex. Omnes.