THE
CITY WIT,
OR,
The VVoman wears the
BREECHES.
A
COMEDY.
LONDON,
Printed by T. R. for Richard Marriot, and Thomas
Dring, and are to be ſold at their Shops
in Fleet-ſtreet, 1653.
[A1]
[A1v]
The Prologue.
[Link] Quot quotadeſtis, ſalvete, ſalvetote.
Y
Ou ſee I come unarm’d among you, ſine
Virga aut Ferula,
without Rod or Fe-
rular, which are the Pedants weapons.
Id eſt,
that is to ſay, I come not hi-
ther to be an Inſtructor to any of you,
that were Aquilam volare docere, aut Delphi-
num natare,
to teach the Ape, well learned as my
ſelfe. Nor came I to inſtruct the Comedians. That
were for me to be Aſinus inter ſimias,
the fool o’the
Company: I dare not undertake them.
I am no
Pædagogus
nor Hypodidaſcalus
here. I approach
not hither ad erudiendum, nec ad Corrigendum.
Nay I have given my Schollars leave to play, to get
a Vacuum
for my ſelfe to day, to Act a particle here
in a Play; an Actor being wanting that could beare
it with port and state enough. A Pedant is not eaſily
imitated. Therefore in perſon, I for your delight have
A 2left
The Prologue
left my Schoole to tread the Stage. Pray Jove
the
terror of my brow ſpoile not your mirth, for you can-
not forget the fury of a Tutor, when you have layne
under the blazing Comet of his wrath, with quæſo
Præceptor te precor da———&c.
But, let feare
paſſe, nothing but mirth’s intended.
But I had forgot my ſelfe, A Prologue ſhould be in
Rhyme, &c. therefore I will begin agen.
Kind Gentlemen, and men of gentle kinde,
There is in that a figure, as you’ll finde,
Becauſe weeltake your eares as ’twere in Ropes,
Ile nothing ſpeak but figures, ſtrayns & tropes.
Quot quot adeſtis Salvete ſalvetote.
The Schoolemaſter that never yet beſought yee,
Is now become a ſuitor, that you’ll ſit,
And exerciſe your Judgement with your wit,
On this our Comedy, which in bold Phraſe,
The Author ſayes has paſt with good applauſe
In former times. For it was written,when
It bore juſt Judgement, and the ſeal of Ben.
Some in this round may have both ſeen’t, and heard,
Ere I, that beare its title, wore a Beard.
My ſute is therefore that you will not looke,
To find more in the Title then the Booke.
My part the Pedant, though it ſeem a Columne
[A2v]
The Prologue
Is but a Page,compar’d to the whole volume.
What bulk have I to bear a Scene to paſſe,
But by your favours multiplying Glaſſe.
In nova fert Animus, then Ile do my beſt
To gaine your Plaudite among the reſt.
So with the ſalutation I firſt brought yee,
Quot quot adeſtis, ſalvete ſalvetote.
A 3Drama-
Dramatis Perſonæ.
[Link]
| CRaſy, a young Citizen, falling into decay. |
| Jeremy, his Apprentice. |
| Sarpego, a Pedant. |
| Sneakup, Craſyes Father in Law. |
| Pyannet, Sneakup’sWife. |
[Link]
Ticket
Rufflit | } | two Courtiers. |
[Link]
| LadyTicket. |
| Joſina, Craſyes Wife. |
| Linſy-Wolſey, a thrifty Citizen. |
| Toby, ſonne to Sneakup. |
| Bridget, Ioſina’s Maid. |
| Crack, a Boy that ſings. |
[Link]
Iſabell
Jone | } | two keeping Women. |
[A3v]The
THE
CITY VVIT.
OR,
The woman wears the Breeches.
ACT. I. Scene I.
A Dinner carryed over the Stage in cove-
red
Diſhes. Exeunt.
Enter Crasy, Jeremy.
[Link] SEt forth that Table
Jer.A Table
Jer.Will you not go in
ſet forth
Cra.No: I am of other
pty Mo-
Jer.The whole company expects you.
Bills,
Cra.May they ſit merry with their cheer,
Bonds, &
while I feed on this hard meat. And wait
Bookes of
you within: I ſhall not change a trencher.
accompts,
Ier.Alas my good Maſter.
Exit. &c.
A 4Cra.
The City Wit.
Cra.Here are the neſts, but all the
He takes
How eaſie a thing it is to be undone,
bags.
When credulous Man will truſt his ’ſtate to others!
Am I drawn dry? Not ſo much as the Lees left?
Nothing but empty Cask? have I no refuge
To fly to now? Yes, here, about a groats
He takes
Of paper it was once. Would I had now
& papers.
Greens groatſ-worth of wit for it. But ’twill ſerve
To light tobacco-pipes. Here (let me ſee)
Here is three hundred pound, two hundred here.
And here one hundred, and two hundred here;
Fifty; fifty; fifty; and one hundred here,
And here one hundred and fifty. Beſides
A many parcells of ſmall debts, which make
Two hundred more. I ſhall not live to tell it,
But put it up, and take it by the weight.
He puts
O me! how heavy ’tis! And, doubtleſs,
the Bills
At ſome mans heart. It troubles me a little.
into a
Bag.
Enter Jeremy.
Now what newes?
He takes up
Jer.My miſtriſs, and your Mother Sir,
a ſcroll.
Intreats you to come to dinner.
Cra.Theſe they are; My debts,
That ſtrike me through. This bag will never pay
Jer.Sir, ſhall I ſay you’l come?
Cra.How well it were, if any of my Creditors
Could once but dream that this were current mony!
Cra.Even what thou wilt, good
Jeremy.
[A4v]Jer.
The City Wit.
Jer.Alas you know, this dinner was appointed
A friendly meeting for moſt of your Creditors,
And many of your Debtors.
Few of the laſt appeare.
(dare
Jer.None but ſome priviledg’dCourtiers, that
Put in at all mens Tables. They’re all ſet,
Your Creditors on one ſide, and your Debtors
On t other; and do only ſtay for you.
Cra.To feed on; do they? Goe. I will not come.
Jer.I feare, Sir, you will overthrow the good
That was intended you. You know this meeting
Was for the Creditors to give longer day,
As they ſhould find your Debtors to acknowledg
The ſummes they owe you. Sir I ſhould be ſorry
To ſee you ſinck, or forc’d to hide your head,
That look’d as high, as any in the City.
Cra.Prithee go in. And if they ſeem to ſtay,
Pray’em fall too ; tell ’em I take this time
Only to order my Accompts, and that as ſoon
As they are full, and fit to talk, I’le come
:
Jer.Introth I pity him ―――
Exit weeping.
Cra.A right good Boy thou art. I think on thee
:
What muſt I do now? All I have is loſt,
And what I have not, ſought to be forc’d from me,
I muſt take nimble hold upon Occaſion,
Or lie for ever in the Bankrupt ditch,
Where no man lends a hand to draw one out.
I will leape over it, or fall bravely in’t,
Scorning the Bridge of Baſeneſs, Compoſition,
Which doth infect a City like the Plague,
And teach men Knavery, that were never born to’t:
Whereby the Rope-deſerving Raſcall gains
Purple and Furrs, Trappings and golden Chaines.
[A5]Baſe
The City Wit.
Baſe Compoſition, baſer far then Want,
Then Beggery, Impriſonment, Slavery:
I ſcorn thee, though thou lov’ſt a Tradeſ-man dearly
And mak’ſt a Chandler Lord of thouſands yearly.
I will have other ayd. How now! Againe?
Enter Ieremy:
Jer.O, Sir, you are undone.
Cra.Haſt thou no newes,
Jeremie?
Jer.Alas your Mother Sir ――
Is there a Plate loſt, or a ’Poſtle-ſpoon
A China Diſh broke, or an ancient Glaſs,
And ſtain’d with Wine her Damaſque table-cloath?
Or is the Salt faln towards her? What’s the matter?
Jer.Her miſchievous tongue has over-thrown the
Cra.What Good, good
Jeremie?
Jer.Your Creditors were on a reſolution
To do you good, and madly ſhe oppos’d it,
And with a vehement voyce proclaims you a Beggar;
Says, you have undone her Daughter; that no good
Is fit to be done for you: And ſuch a ſtorm
Cra.She’s drunk; Is ſhe not,
Jeremie?
Jer.No Sir, ’tis nothing but her old diſeaſe,
The Tongue-ague, whoſe fit is now got up
To ſuch a height, the Devil cannot lay it.
The learned School-maſter, Mr.
Sarpego
Has conjur’d it by all his parts of ſpeech,
His Tropes and Figures; and cannot be heard
I’th furious Tempeſt. All your Creditors
Are gone in Rage; will take their courſe, they ſay.
Some of your Debtors ſtay, I think, to laugh at her.
[A5v]Enter
The City Wit.
Enter Sarpego.
Sar.Now deafeneſs ſeize me. I diſclaime my hea-
ring. I defie my audituall part. I renounce mine ears.
Miſtris
Pyannet, a deſperate Palſey is on thy lips, and
an everlaſting Feaver on thy Tongue?
ra.What raging Rout hath rent thy reſt;
What Scold hath ſcutch’d thy skonce:
Sar.I’le breath it to thy bolder breast,
That askst me for the nonce.
You underſtand or know, that here hath been a
Feaſt made, to take up a ponderous difference be-
tween Maſter
Sneakup, your Father in Law, and your
ſelfe Mr.
Craſy; and between moſt of your Creditors
and Debitors. Food hath been eaten; Wine drunck;
Talke paſt; Breath ſpent; Labour loſt: For why? Mi-
ſtris
Pyannet your Mother in Law, Mr.
Sneakups
Wife (though ſhee will be call’d by none but her
owne name) that woman of an eternall Tongue;
that Creature of an everlaſting noyſe; whoſe per-
petuall talke is able to deafen a Miller; whoſe diſcourſe
is more tedious then a Juſtices Charge; Shee, that will
out-ſcold ten carted Bawds, even when ſhe is ſober;
and out-chat fifteen Midwives, though fourteen of
them be halfe drunk: this Shee-thing hath burſt all.
Demoſthenes himſelfe would give her over. Therefore
hopeleſs
Sarpego is ſilent.
Enter Pyannet, Sneakup, Sir Andrew Ticket, Rufflit,
La. Ticket, Joſina, Linſy-Wolſy.
Py.O, are you here Sir! You have ſpun a fair thred.
[A6]Here’s
The City Wit.
Here’s much ado, and little help. We can make bolt
nor ſhaft, find neither head nor foot in your buſineſs.
My daughter and I may both curſe the time, that ever
Cra.Sir, you have the civill vertue of Patience in
Py.He ſayes he heares thee, and is aſham’d to ſee
thee. Haſt not undone our Daughter? ſpent her Porti-
on; deceiv’d our hopes; waſted thy fortunes; undone
thy credite; prov’d Bankrupt?
Cra.All was but my kind heart in truſting, in tru-
Pi.Kind heart! What ſhould Citizens do with kind
hearts; or truſting in any thing but God, and ready
Cra.What would you, dear Father, that I ſhould do now?
Py.Marry depart in peace Sir. Vaniſh in ſilence Sir.
I’le take my Daughter home Sir. She ſhall not beg with
you Sir. No marry ſhalt thou not; no, ’deed Duck
Cra.Be yet but pleaſed to anſwer me, good Sir. May
Py.Honeſt man! Who the Devill wiſh’d thee to be
an honeſt man? Here’s my worſhipfull Husband, Mr.
Sneakup, that from a Graſier is come to be a Juſtice of
Peace: And, what, as an honeſt man? Hee grew to be
able to give nine hundred pound with my daughter;
and, what, by honeſtie? Mr.
Sneakup and I are come up
to live i’th City, and here we have lyen theſe three
years; and what? for honeſty? Honeſty! What ſhould
the City do with honeſty; when ’tis enough to undoe
a whole Corporation? Why are your Wares gumm’d;
your Shops dark; your Prizes writ in ſtrange Chara-
cters
? what, for honeſty
? Honeſty? why is hard waxe
[A6v]call’d
The City Wit.
call’d Merchants waxe; and is ſaid ſeldome or never to
be rip’d off, but it plucks the skin of a Lordſhip with it?
what! for honeſty? Now (mortified my Concupi-
ſcence!) Doſt thou think, that our Neighbour, Maſter
Linſy-Wolſie here, from the ſonne of a Tripe-wife, and
a Rope-maker, could aſpire to be an Aldermans Depu-
ty; to be Worſhipfull Mr.
Linſie-Wolſie; Venerable
Mr.
Linſie-wolſie; to weare Sattin ſleeves, & whip Beg-
gars? And, what? By honeſty? Have we bought an Of-
fice, here, for our towardly and gracious ſon and heire
here, young Mr.
Sneakup ――
Py.And made him a Courtier, in hope of his ho-
neſty? Nay, (once for all) Did we marry our Daugh-
ter, here, to thee; rack’d our Purſes to pay Portion;
left Country houſe-keeping to ſave charges, in hope
either of thine, or her honeſty
? No, we look’d, that
thy Ware-houſe ſhould have eaten up Caſtles, and that
for thy narrow Walke in a Jewellers ſhop, a whole
Countrey ſhould not have ſuffic’d thee.
Cra.If my uncunning Diſpoſition be my only vice,
Py.Nay, and thou haſt been married three years to
my Daughter, and haſt not got her with Child yet!
How do’ſt anſwer that? For a woman to be married to
a fruitfull Fool, there is ſome bearing with him yet. (I
know it by my ſelf
) but a dry barren Fool! How doſt
Cra.It may be defect in your Daughter, as proba-
Py.O impudent varlet! Defect in my Daughter?
O horrible indignity! Delect in my Daughter? Nay,
’tis well known, before ever thou ſaweſt her, there was
no defect in my Daughter.
Cra.Well: If to be honeſt, be to be a fool, my utmoſt
[A7]Ambition
The City Wit.
Ambition is a Coxcomb. Sir, I crave your farewell.
Py.Marry Sir, and have it with all his heart. My
Husband is a man of few words, and hath committed
his tongue to me
: And I hope I ſhall uſe it to his Wor-
Tic.Thanks for your cheer and full bounty of En-
tertainment, good Mr.
Sneakup.
Py.He rather thanks you for your patience, and
kind viſitation, good Sir
Andrew Ticket. Yes indeed
Py.Uds ſo! ther’s a trick! you muſt talk, muſt you?
And your Wife in preſence, muſt you? As if I could not
have ſaid, good Madame. Good Madame! Do you ſee
Py.Good Madame, I beſeech your Ladiſhip to ex-
cuſe our deficiency of Entertainment. Though our
power be not to our wiſh, yet we wiſh that our Power
were to your Worth, which merrits better ſervice――
Py.Can tender, or poſſibly expreſſe by――
Py.Our beſt labour, or utmoſt devoire. Yes I pro-
teſt ſweet Madame. I beſeech you, as you paſſe by in
Coach ſometimes, vouchſafe to ſee me; and, if I come
to Court, I will preſume to viſite your Ladiſhip, and
your worthy Knight, Good Sir
Andrew! And I pray
you Madame, how does your Monckey, your Parrot,
and Parraquitoes? I pray commend me to ’em, and to
all your little ones. Fare you well, ſweet Creature.
Exit.
[A7v]Ruff.
The City Wit.
Ruff.Wee’ll leave you to take private farewell of
Tob.Wee’l meet you at your Horſe, brother.
Exeunt omnes, præter Craſy, Joſina.
Joſ.Lov’d, my deare heart, my ſweeteſt, my very
being, will you needs take your journey? I ſhall fall
before your return into a Conſumption. If you did but
conceive what your departure will bring upon me, I
know (my ſweet) nay I do know―― but goe your
ways; ſtrike my finger into mine eye
: ’Tis not the firſt
true teare a married woman has ſhed.
Cra.Why you heare the noyſe of that woman of
sound, your Mother. I muſt travell down, or not keep
Joſ.Nay, goe I beſeech you; you ſhall never ſay, I
undid you. Goe I pray: But never look to ſee me my
owne woman again. How long will you ſtay forth
?
Cra.A fortnight at the leaſt; and a moneth at the
Joſ.Well, a fortnight at the leaſt. Never woman
took a more heavy departure. Kiſſe me. Farewel. Kiſs
me againe. I pray does your Horſe amble, or trot
? Do
not ride poſt as you come home, I pray. Kiſſe me once
Enter Bridget, Jeremy.
Bri.What’s a clock
Bridget.
Joſ.Tis paſt ſleeping time then,
Bridget. (means.
Bri.Nothing is paſt to thoſe, that have a mind and
Joſ.Thats true and tryed. Go lay my Pillow
Bridget.
Exit Brid.
[A8]Lord
The City VVit.
Lord, what a thing a woman is in her Husbands ab-
Waſt thou ever in love,
Jeremy? (ſence!
Jer.Who I forſooth
? No forſooth.
Joſ.I forſooth, and no forſooth
? then I perceive
you are forſooth. But I adviſe you to take head, how
you levell your Affection towards me: I am your Mi-
ſtris; And I hope you never heard of any Apprentice
was ſo bold with his Miſtris.
Jer.No indeed forſooth. I ſhould be ſorry there
Joſ.Nay, be not ſorry neither
Jeremy. Is thy Ma-
ſter gone? Look. A pretty youth, this ſame
Jeremy!
And is come of a good Race. I have heard my Mother
ſay, his Father was a Ferretter――
Enter Jeremy.
Joſ.Come hither
Jeremy. Doſt thou ſee this Hand-
Joſ.I vow’d this Handkerchief ſhould never touch
anybodies face, but ſuch a one, as I would intreat to
Joſ.Come hither
Jeremy. There's a ſpot o’thy
Cheek, let me wipe it off.
Jer.O Lord forſooth. I’le go waſh it.
Exit Joſ.
Joſ.Heaven made this Boy of a very honeſt Appe-
tite, ſober Ignorance, and modeſt Underſtanding. My
old Grandmothers Latine is verified upon him;
Ars
non habet Inimicum præter Ignorantem. Ignorance is
womans greateſt Enemy. Who’s within?
Bridget.
[A8v]Enter
The City Wit.
Enter Bridget.
Joſ.Go your wayes to Miſtreſſe
Parmiſan, the
Cheeſmongers Wife in old Fiſhſtreet, and commend
me to her; and intreat her to pray Miſtreſſe
Collifloore
the Hearb-woman in the Old Change, that ſhe will de-
ſire Miſtris
Piccadell in Bow-lane, in any hand to be-
ſeech the good old dry Nurſe mother,
Et cetera, ſhee
knowes where, to provide me an honeſt, handſome,
ſecret young man; that can write, and read written
hand. Take your errand with you, that can write and
Bri.I warrant you forſooth.
Exit.
Joſ.So, now will I meditate, take a nap, and dreame
ACT I. Sene II.
Enter Craſy, booted. Ticket, Rufflit, Tobias
Sarpego, Linſy woolſy.
Tic.WEE take our leaves Mr.
Craſy, and wiſh
Ruff.Farewell good Mr.
Craſy.
Sar.Iterum iterumque vale.
Lin.Heartily Godbuy, good Mr.
Craſy.
B[1]Cra. Nay
The City Wit.
Cra.Nay but Gentlemen
: A little of your patience
you all know your own Debts, and my almoſt impu-
dent neceſſities, ſatisfie me, that J may diſcharge o-
thers. Will you ſuffer me to ſink under my Freenes?
ſhall my goodneſſe, and ready Pietie undoe me? Sir
Andrew Ticket,you are a profeſt Courtier, and ſhould
have a tender ſenſe of honor. This is your day of pay-
ment for two hundred pound.
Tic.Blood of
Bacchus, tis true, tis my day, what
then? Doſt take me for a Cittizen, that thou thinkeſt
I’ll keep my day? No, thou’ſt find that I am a Courtier,
let my day keep me and ’twill. But doſt heare? Come
to the Court. J will not ſay what I will do for thee.
But come to the Court. I ow the two hundred pounds:
I’ll not deny’t, if thou ask ſeven years hence for’t, fare-
well. I ſay no more, but come to the Court, and ſee if I
Cra.O, Sir, now you are in favour, you will know
Tic.True: tis juſt. Why ſhould we, when we are
in favour know any body; when, if we be in diſgrace,
no body will know us? farewell honeſt Tradeſman.
Exit.
Sar.That is Synonima for a fool. An ironicall E-
pithite, upon my Facunditie.
Cra.O Maſter
Sarpego! I know you will ſatisfie
your own driblet of ten pound, I lent you out of my
Sar.Diogenes Laertius on a certaine time, deman-
ding of
Cornelius Tacitus an Areopagit of
Syracuſa;
what was the moſt Commodious and expediteſt me-
thod to kill the Itch, anſwered――
Cra.Anſwer me my monyes I beſeech you.
Sar.Peremptorily,
Careo Supinis; I want money.
I confeſſe, ſome driblets are in the Debet. But, me
[B1v]thinks
The City VVit.
thinks, that you being a Man of Wit, Braine, Forecaſt
and Forehead, ſhould not be ſo eaſie, (I will not ſay
fooliſh, for that were a figure) as to lend a Philoſo-
pher money, that cryes, when he is naked,
Omnia
mea mecum porto. Well Sir, J ſhall ever live to wish,
that your owne Lanthorne may be your direction; and
that, where ever you travell, the
Cornu copia of A-
bundance may accompany you. Yes ſure shall I.
Vive
Exit.
Tob.Why look you Brother, It was thought, that
I had a tender Pericranion; or, in direct Phraſe, that I
was an unthrifty fool. Signior no: you ſhall now find,
that I cannot only keep mine own, but other mens.
It is rightly ſaid, He that is poor in Appetite, may
quickly be rich in Purſe. Deſire little; covet little; no
not your own
: And you ſhall have enough.
Tob.Yes Brother, litle enough. I confeſſe I am
your Debtor for the loane of ſome hundred Marks.
Now you have need
: who has not? you have need to
have it. I have need to pay it. Here’s need of all hands.
But Brother, you ſhall be no looſer by me. Purchaſe
Wit; Get wit (look you) wit. And Brother, if you
come to the Court, now my Mother and my Father
have bought me an Office there, ſo you will bring my
Siſter with you, I will make the beſt ſhew of you that
I can. It may chance to ſet you up againe, Brother; tis
many an honeſt mans fortune, to riſe by a good Wife.
Farewell ſweet Brother. Prithee grow rich againe;
and weare good Cloaths, that that we may keep our Ac-
quaintance ſtill. Farewell, deare Brother.
Exit.
Ruff.VVhat, does thy fiſt gape for mony from
B 2Cra. I
The City Wit.
Cra.I hope it is not the faſhion, for a Gallant of
faſhion, to break for ſo ſmall a Portion as the ſumme
Ruff.For a Gallant of faſhion to break, for a Gal-
lant of faſhion? Doſt thou know what a Gallant of
faſhion is? I’ll tell thee. It is a thing that but once
in three Moneths has money in his Purſe; A creature
made up of Promiſe and Proteſtation
: A thing that
foules other mens Napkins: towſeth other Mens
Sheets, flatters all he feares, contemns all he needs not,
ſterves all that ſerve him, and undoes all that truſt
him. Doſt ask me mony, as I am a Gallant of faſhion,
I do thee Curteſie, I beat thee not.
Cra.I lent it you on your ſingle word
:
Ruff.Tis pittie but thou ſhouldeſt looſe thy Free-
dom for it: you Tradeſmen have a good Order in your
Citty, Not to lend a Gentleman money without a
Cittizen bound with him
: But you forſooth ſcorne
Orders! By this light, tis pitty thou looſeſt not thy
Freedome for it. VVell, when I am fluſh, thou ſhalt
feel from mee, Farewell. Prithee learne to have ſome
witt. A handſome ſtreight young fellow, grown into a
pretty Bear, with a proper bodyed VVoman to his
VVife, and cannot beare a Braine! Farewell. Doſt
heare
? Be rul’d by me, Get money, do, Get money
and keep it; wouldſt thrive? Be rather a knave
then a Fool. How much doſt ſay I ow thee
?
Ruff.Thou art in my Debt. I have given the Coun-
ſell worth threeskore, Dog-cheap, well I’ll rent the
Lin.Strange mad fellows theſe ſame, Mr.
Craſie, me
Cra.You are right Mr.
Linſie wolſie? I would my
Genius had directed me, to deale alwayes with ſuch
[B2v]honeſt
The City Wit.
honeſt neighbourly men as your ſelfe. I hope you will
Linſ.Not I, I proteſt, what is it?
Cra.You took once a Jewell of me, which you ſold
for thirty pound, for which I have your Bond for ſixty,
at your day of mariage. If you will now, becauſe J
want preſent money, give me but twenty pound, I’ll
Lin.My good friend Mr.
Craſie, I have no tricks
and Jerks to come over you as the witty Gentleman
had ere while
: But I know a plaine bargaine is a plaine
bargaine
: and wit is never good till it be bought. If
twentie pound will pleaſure you, upon good ſecurity
I will procure it you. A hundred if you pleaſe, do you
mark Mr.
Craſie? On good ſecurity. Otherwiſe you muſt
pardon me, Mr.
Craſie. I am a poore Tradeſman Mr.
Craſie, keep both a Linnen and a VVollen Drapers
ſhop, Mr.
Craſie, according to my name, Mr.
Craſie,
and would be loth to lend my money, Mr.
Craſie, to
be laught at among my Neighbours, Mr.
Craſie, as
you are Mr.
Craſie. And ſo fare you wel, Mr.
Craſie.Exit.
Cra.Is this the end of unſuſpicious Freeneſſe?
Are open hands of Chearfull Pietie,
A helpfull bounty, and moſt eaſie Goodneſſe,
Is, to be honeſt, term’d to be a fool?
Reſpect it Heaven. Beare up ſtill merry heart.
Droop not: But ſcorne the worlds unjuſt deſpiſing.
Who through Goodneſſe ſinks, his fall’s his Riſing.
Enter Jeremy.
[Link] O Maſter, Maſter, upon my knowledge, my Miſtres
is forced ſince your departure to be
B 3Cra. What
The City Wit.
Ier.Honeſt Sir. Get up your Debts as faſt as you
can abroad
: For on my underſtanding (which great
Iove knowes is but little) ſhee will take up more then
Cra.Boy. Didſt never obſerve at the Court gate,
that the Lord was no ſooner off from his Horſe-back
but the Lackey got up into the Saddle and rode home?
Cra.I ſcorne not my Betters Fortune. And what
is not my ſinne, shall never be my shame.
Jer.Introth I was faine to make my ſelfe an Aſſe, or
elſe I had been tempted to have been a knave.
Cra.Boy, thou art now my Prentice. From hence
be free. Poverty shall ſerve it ſelfe. Yet do one thing
Jer.If it be in the power of my poore Sconce.
Car.
If ever it be in thy poſſible ability, wrong all
Men, uſe thy wit, to abuſe all things, that have but
ſence of wrong: For without mercie, all men have in-
jur’d thy miſtruſtles Maſter, Milk’d my thoughts from
my heart, and money from my Purſe, and, laſt, laught
at my Credulity. Cheat, choſen, live by thy Wits:
Tis moſt manly, therefore moſt noble. Horſes get their
living by their Backs, Oxen by their necks, Swine and
Women by their Fleſh, Only man by his Braine. In
briefe be a knave and proſper: For honeſty has
Ier.Farewell Maſter. And if I put tricks upon ſome
of them, let the end of the Comedie demonſtrate.
Exit.
Cra.I am reſolv’d I will revenge. I never provok’d
my braine yet. But now if I clap not fire in the tayles
of ſome of theſe Samſons Foxes ―― ſeems my defect of
Fortune want of wit? Noe.
[B3v]The
The City Wit.
The ſenſe of our ſlight ſports confeſſ’d ſhall have,
That any may be rich, will be a knave.