The Love-Sick Court:
or the Ambitious Politique.

Dramatis Personae.*

[Link]
KING of Thessaly*.
PHILOCLES*, the Prince, supposed son of the late slain General*.
EUDINA, the Princess.
DISANIUS
JUSTINIUS		}Two lords.
EUPATHUS,* a gentleman belonging to the King.
STRATOCLES, a politician.
PHILARGUS*, a young nobleman, son of the late General, [nephew to Disanius] and [supposed]** twin with Philocles*.
THYMELE, Philargus’* mother
PLACILLA, her daughter.
DORIS, Thymele’s waiting-woman*.
GERON*, a curious coxcomb† and a scholar.
GARRULA, an old midwife, [mother to Geron].
MATHO, a villain, servant to Stratocles.
TERSULUS, a tailor, servant to Philargus.
VARILLUS, a barber, servant to Philocles.
RUSTIC 1
RUSTIC 2
RUSTIC 3
RUSTIC 4
[2 Rustics]
[SOLDIERS]
[Attendants]
[Nymphs who dance]

The scene: Thessaly.

PROLOGUE


2PrologueA little wit, less learning, no poetry
        This playmaker dares boast: ’tis his modesty.
        For though his labours have not found least grace,
        It puffs not him up or† in mind or face,
        Which makes him rather in the art disclaim
        Bold license, than to arrogate† a name.
        Yet to the wit, the scholar, and the poet,
        Such as the play is, we must dare to show it
        Our judgements to but too*; and without fear
        Of giving least offence to any ear.
        If you find pleasure in’t, we boasting none,
        Nor† you nor we lose by expectation.
        Sometimes at poor men’s boards† the curious find
        ’Mongst homely fare some unexpected dish,
        Which at great tables they may want† and wish:
        If in this slight collation† you will bind
        Us to believe you have pleased your palates here,
        Pray bring your friends wi’ you next, you know your cheer†.
ACT ONE*
1.1
[Enter] DISANIUS [and] JUSTINIUS [from different doors] meeting.

3DisaniusGood morrow, my good lord. How fares the King?*

4JustiniusMore sick in mind than body, by th’opinion
        Not only of the skillful doctors, but of all
        That come about him.

5DisaniusI, that have not seen him
        Since he was sick, can guess then at the cause
        Of his distemper†. He is sick o’th’ subject†;
        Th’unquiet commons† fill his head and breast
        With their impertinent discontents and strife.
        The peace that his good care has kept ’em* in
        For many years, still feeding them with plenty,
        Hath, like o’er-pampered* steeds† that throw their masters,
        Set them at war with him. O misery of kings!
        His virtue breeds their vices, and his goodness
        Pulls all their ills upon him. He has been
        Too long too lenitive†: a thousand heads
        (Or, say, a hundred, or but ten) cut off
        Of the most gross† ones, the prime, leading heads
        Of theirs a month since, had preserved him better
        Than all his doctors’* pills can purge him now.

6JustiniusYou are too sharp, Disanius. There’s a means,
        As mild as other of the King’s clear acts,
        In agitation† now shall reconcile
        All to a common peace, no doubt.

7DisaniusWhat’s that, Justinius?

8JustiniusStay. Here comes Stratocles.
Enter STRATOCLES.

9DisaniusI fear in that
        Ambitious pate† lies the combustible† stuff
        Of all this late† commotion.   They confer aside.   

10StratoclesWhy is man
        Prescribed† on earth to imitate the gods,
        But to come nearest them in power and action?
        That is to be a king! That only thought
        Fills this capacious breast. A king or nothing!*

11JustiniusHe’s deep in meditation.

12DisaniusOn no good.
        It is some devilish waking dream affects him.
        I’ll put him out†.   [Aloud]   And as I was about
        To say, my lord —

13StratoclesWhat? When, Disanius?

14DisaniusAbout a month since,
        It stick still in my jaws. Be not ambitious,
        Affect not popularity: ’tis the most
        Notable break-neck† in a kingdom.

15StratoclesIn whom?

16DisaniusI know to whom I speak. Would Stratocles
        As well knew who he is, and what he does:
        It would be better for him. Thank me not,
        I wish it for the King and kingdom’s good,
        Not yours, I do assure you, my great lord;
        Yet mine own peer, if you forget me not.

17StratoclesYou take your time, sir, to make me your mirth.
        A time may come –

18DisaniusWhen you may be my king,
        And then up goes Disanius*. Is’t not so?

19StratoclesYes, up to court, to be King Stratocles’ fool.

20DisaniusThe court now privileges thee, or I would change†
        A cuff† with your great soldiership and popular greatness
        With clowns and citizens and gentry*, sprung
        By their late peaceful wealth out of their dung*.
        But let ’em thank our pious King, not you
        That claim (as merit for your service done)
        Their loves and voices.

21JustiniusCease, my lords, this strife!
        The King may hear on’t, whose perplexities†
        Already are too grievous. Pray be silent,
        The King approaches.
Enter KING and EUPATHUS [in conversation].*

22DisaniusWe’ll attend† his entrance.

23KingUpon those terms they are come then, Eupathus?

24EupathusFour of the chief in the commotion,
        Upon the engagement of my faith, that you
        Had passed your kingly word for their return
        In safety, I have brought to court, who wait†
        Your present† will and pleasure.

25KingBring ’em in.[Exit EUPATHUS]
        Disanius, welcome. I thought well to send for you
        To take a counsellor’s part of my late cares
        Into your consideration.

26DisaniusI attend
        Your Highness’ pleasure.

27KingNearer, good Disanius.   They talk privately.   

28Stratocles   [Aside]   Do you deal in secret, King? The commons sent for
        To their examination*, and this old
        Antagonist of mine called to confront me,
        And I prepared by no intelligence
        To fit† me for th’encounter? Let ’em come.
        I must not be denied to stand as fair
        In competition for the crown as any man
        The King himself elects for his successor.
        The people are mine own through all his parts†:
        He may command their knees, but I their hearts.

29KingStratocles, Justinius, Disanius, sit.
        My lords, although our laws of Thessaly
        To you, as well as to ourself, are known,
        And all our customs, yet for order’s sake
        I shall lay open one to you. That is, when
        A king deceaseth without issue† male
        (As I unfortunately must) the commons
        Are to elect their king, provided that
        He be of noble blood, a soldier, and one
        That has done public service for the crown –

30StratoclesThat makes for me.

31KingOr else the son of some
        Great general slain in battle for his country
        (As my Adrastus* was).

32DisaniusO my brave brother!

33KingTwenty years’ sorrow for that soldier’s loss
        Has not worn out his memory.

34StratoclesYour grace
        Forgets not then soldiers of fresher fame.

35KingSome other time to boast, good Stratocles.

36Disanius   [To STRATOCLES]   ’Twere good you’d hear the King.   [To the KING]   A general
        Or a general’s son may be elected. There
        Your Majesty left†.

37KingOr if the sonless king
        Yet has a daughter, and he match her in
        His lifetime to a husband that is noble,
        He* stands immediate heir unto the crown
        Against all contradiction.

38StratoclesNow think upon my service, royal sir.

39DisaniusNow think upon my nephews, royal master,
        The sons of brave Adrastus, who was slain
        Twenty years since in fighting of your battle.

40Stratocles   [To DISANIUS]   ’Twere good you would hear the King.*   [To the KING]   The husband of
        Your daughter must be elected. There you left, sir.

41KingIt rests now that a speedy choice be made
        Of a fit† husband, one that may acquire
        Eudina’s love, and people’s approbation†.
        The people, for whose noise† I must not rest
        Till my successor be appointed to them,
        Are wild till this election† be made:
        They have, in arms, made their demand, and wait†
        My present answer.
Enter EUPATHUS* [with] four RUSTICS.

42DisaniusOh, here they come. These be the principals,
        The heads, the heads, forsooth they call themselves:
        Head-carpenter, head-smith, head-ploughman, and head-shepherd.

43KingNay, pray approach, and seem no more abashed†
        Here than amongst your giddy†-headed routs†,
They all kneel.
        Where every man’s a king, and wage your powers
        ’Gainst mine in foul defiance. Freely speak
        Your grievance and your full demand.

441. Rustic’Tis humbly all expressed in this petition.   [Handing over petition]   

452. Rustic   [To other RUSTICS]   By all means have a care that, to any question, we give the King good words to his face. He is another manner of man here than we took him for at home.

463. RusticI sweat for’t. I am sure I have scarce a dry thread* in my leather linings†.

474. RusticThey made us heads i’ the country. But if our headships now, with all our country care, should be hanged up at court for displeasing of this good King, for the next king’s good our necks will not be set right again in the next king’s reign,* I take it.

481. RusticMy head itches to be at home again.

492. RusticMy heart* itches to be at home again.

503. RusticMy head and heart both aches with fear. Would I were honestly hanged out o’ the way to be rid on’t†.

51King   [Indicating petition]   There you may read, my lords, what we before
        Found† would be their demand. ’Tis for a king
        That must succeed me.

52DisaniusAnd because you have
        Governed them long in peace, by which they thrive,
        Their wisdom would have you entail† that piece*†
        On them for after-times; and so they nominate
        Ambitious Stratocles to be your heir.

53StratoclesEnvious Disanius, my merit is
        Their motive.

54KingCease your strife.   [To RUSTICS]   You have stood more inclined
        To lay your choice on Philocles or Philargus,
        The twin-born sons of long-since slain Adrastus.

551. RusticMay’t please your majesty, we are informed
        That in their travels* unto Delphos* , both
        Of them are dead.

56DisaniusThat information
        Was merely by suggestion (I dare speak it)*
        Insinuated by Stratocles. They both live
        And are upon return.

571. RusticWould we knew that.*
        Lord Stratocles then should pardon us. He’s a man
        Gracious amongst us. But –

582. RusticPhilargus! O
        Philargus, be he living.

593. RusticI say Philocles!
        Brave Philocles is the man.

60Stratocles   [Aside]   False, empty weathercocks†.

614. RusticI say Lord Stratocles is the man we know
        And ought to honour.

62Stratocles   [Aside]   There lives yet some hope.

63JustiniusWhat strange confusion’s this? Or whither will
        You run by several ways? ‘Philargus’, one;
        Another, ‘Philocles’; a third cries ‘Stratocles’.
        In this you say you’ll have no king at all.
        This must be reconciled, or you pull ruin
        Upon yourselves. He whom the King is pleased
        To give his daughter to must be your king.

641. RusticAll that we crave (and that upon our knees)*
        Is that the King will graciously be pleased
        To make a speedy choice, and give us leave
        With pardon to depart and signify
        His royal pleasure to the doubtful countries†.

65KingTell ’em they shall expect†, then, but a month,
        In which short time my daughter’s marriage
        Shall be consummate.

66All Rus[tics]The gods protect your majesty.Exit RUSTICS.

67KingAnd now, my lords, the commons being at peace,
        Let me prevail your private jars† to cease.[They all exit.]*
1.2
[Enter] EUDINA [and] THYMELE weeping.

68EudinaMadam, the cause is mine; ’tis mine to mourn
        In chief, if they be dead. They were your sons,
        ’Tis true, and though they were your only comforts
        Upon this earth, you but resign to heaven
        The blessings that it lent you. But to me
        They were a pair of equal lovers; and
        By me so equally beloved; and by
        The King, my father, so ’bove all men respected
        That I by either had been made a queen,
        Which title I forever will disclaim
        If they be dead.

69ThymeleO my Philargus. O my Philocles!
        Ye gods, I know they did not seek your counsels
        Nor dare to approach your altars, but† with all
        Due reverence and required ceremony.
        And could your Delphian oracle*, when they
        Were friendly competitioners† for love,
        Answer them but with death?

70EudinaThe rumour, madam,
        Carries so little show of truth, that you
        Do ill to take so deep† a sense of it;
        Much worse t’expostulate, as if you had
        An injury done you by the gods. Have you
        Been from mine infancy my governess
        And careful counsel-giver? And must I
        Find cause to chide† you now? Come, dry these tears.
Enter GARRULA.

71GarrulaWhere’s my sweet princess?
        Where’s my lady governess?

72EudinaOh Garrula, welcome. I could never wish
        Thy company more usefully, for thou bring’st
        Some recreation† on thy countenance always.

73GarrulaI am glad my countenance pleases you. It may,
        For I have on it now (could you discern ’em)
        A thousand joys dancing within these wrinkles
        More than my feeble, failing tongue can utter.
        And that’s a grief to me ’mong all my joys;
        The failing of the tongue, the tongue, the tongue*
        Is a great grief to any woman. But
        To one in years, and well in years†, as I am,
        It is a grief indeed, more than the loss
        Of any other member†.

74EudinaBut I pray thee,
        Let not that grief deprive us of the hearing
        Of, at least, one of thy whole thousand joys.

75Garrula’Tis a report of joy and wonder, princess;
        Enough to make not only you, and you*,
        But King and kingdom glad, could I but utter’t.

76EudinaThou dost speak well enough, and enough too.
        I pray thee tell it.

77Thymele’Tis some feignèd†* stuff
        She hopes to palliate† our sorrows with.

78Garrula’Tis a report, worth more than all the stories
        That I myself have told in child-bed chambers,
        To restore spirit to the pallid† flesh.
        And I have been a woman as good at it
        (Without vain boast be’t spoke) as any she*
        In Thessaly, that e’er durst undertake
        The office† of a midwife. And that the Queen
        Your mother knew, when I delivered her
        Of the sweet babe (yourself). She is in bliss
        Now in Elysium†. But you, Madam Governess,
        Can yet† remember good old Garrula,
        That took into the light your twin-born sons,
        And thereby hangs a tale* –

79ThymeleWhat means this woman?*

80EudinaGood Garrula, thy news? Thy present† story?

81Garrula’Tis such a story* that could I but utter’t
        With volubility of tongue! – But oh
        This tongue, that fails me now, for all the helps
        Of syrups and sweet sippings. I still go
        Provided*, as you see, to cherish it.
        And yet it falters with me.
She sips oft of a bottle at her girdle†.*

82EudinaWe shall ha’t
        Anon† I hope.
Enter PLACILLA.
        Placilla, what’s your news?

83Placilla’Tis excellent, madam. And I was ambitious
        To bring you the first taste of it. But if
        Garrula has in that prevented* me,
        I can with no less joy relate it yet.
        My brothers are returned, and safe, from Delphos.

84ThymeleBe thou as true as th’oracle.

85EudinaNow, madam.*

86PlacillaMother, ’tis true.

87Garrula’Tis that I would ha’ told you
        Had not my tongue failed me i’th’ utterance.

88EudinaThy tongue ran fast enough, but lost its way.

89PlacillaThree minutes, madam, brings ’em to your presence.

90Eudina   [To THYMELE]   How is it with you, madam? Let not joy
        Beget† a worse effect than did your fears.
THYMELE swounds†.
        Help, Garrula.

91Garrula’Ods† pity, what d’ye mean?
        Madam, look up, and speak up too, you were best,
        Do you know who talks to you? Speak; and speak well too.
        I shall speak that will be worse for you else.
        Madam, you know that I know what I know*.

92ThymeleI am well, I thank you, Garrula.

93GarrulaOh, are you so?

94Eudina   [Aside]   I have observed that often in her language,
        This chatt’ring midwife glanceth† at the knowledge
        Of some strange hidden thing, which, like as with
        A charm, she keeps my governess in awe with.
        I guess it but some trifle, for I know
        The lady is right virtuous; yet it may
        Be worth my inquisition† at fit† time.

95ThymeleYou have felt the comforts of my friendship, Garrula,
        And had you common charity, you’d forbear† me.

96GarrulaI– – done, madam*. Be secure. But yet,
        Though I forbear† to speak, I not forget.

97EudinaYou have not yet, Placilla, told the means
        Of your rich knowledge.
A shout and crying ‘PHILARGUS’ and ‘PHILOCLES’, etc.*

98PlacillaNor shall I need now, madam.
        These shouts of joy that followed them to Court
        Attend them to your presence.

99EudinaOh, let us meet ’em. Madam, come away.

100ThymeleO ye gods, I thank ye.They exit; GARRULA remains.*

101GarrulaI have a son there too, as dear to me
        As any mother’s only born can be,
        Whose name’s not voiced with theirs. Yet by your favour,
        Great Madam Governess, he has discharged
        The office of a governor o’er your sons
        As well as you have over the King’s daughter.
        And they have sucked more of his Helicon†
        Than she has of your doctrine:
Sips [t]he bottle.*
        which their breeding,
        Together with their travels through his care,
        Will testify (I doubt not) to my honour
        That have brought forth a son of such performance.
Enter DISANIUS, JUSTINIUS, PHILARGUS, PHILOCLES, EUDINA, THYMELE, PLACILLA [and] GERON.

102DisaniusDid not I say ’twas Stratocles that raised
        That hideous rumour of their deaths among
        His wild idolaters†, in hope to gain
        Election by their ignorance and rudeness?

103Justinius’Twas well those factious† heads were wrought† to come
        Before the King to find his clemency†,
        And probability†* that these were living.

104Disanius*And how they then shrunk in their necks* from Stratocles!
        It has so laid† the flames of his ambition,
        That these may safely now tread out the fire.
        Welcome again, my princely nephews, welcome.

105Phil[argus and Philocles]*Thanks, courteous uncle.

106ThymeleYou interrupt me, brother.

107DisaniusGood woman, cry thee mercy. Mothers are such things!

108GarrulaWhy, what things are we mothers?

109Disanius   [Aside]*   Oh, the old night-piece* with her dark lantern* by her.

110GarrulaYou’ll give us leave to take
        The comforts due unto us in our age,
        For which we suffered sorrow in our youth!
        Our children are our children, young or old.

111DisaniusSo is my horse, my horse.

112Geron*You have replied
        As whilom† did a counsellor-at-law†,
        Who said his adverse† advocate† had pleaded
        To as much purpose as a hen i’th’ forehead.*

113DisaniusGeron, th’art welcome. Thou still keepst thy humour†;
        Thy travels ha’ not changed thee. Thou camest home
        As wise as thou wentst out.

114GeronSo whilom said
        A miser, having much increased his store,
        He had as much still as he had before.

115DisaniusEnough, I’ll give thee over†.

116ThymeleOh, my dear offspring; every sight of you
        Is a new recompense and satisfaction
        For all the pain and travail*† of your birth.
        In you your father’s memory shall live
        Beyond the malice of the grave and death.
        And I, when my rejoicing shall be full,
        And cannot take addition, freely yielding
        My flesh to dust, shall yet be blessed by those
        Who shall give testimony† to your virtue.

117Philargus’Twere a sufficient spur to noble actions
        To be rewarded but† with your content,
        Which to procure we make our business.

118ThymelePhilocles,
        Your brow is clouded†. Has the oracle
        Adjudged† against you. Pray†, let us partake†
        The knowledge of the Delphian decree;
        And which of you stands highest in the favour
        Of wise Apollo, to be husband to
        Princess Eudina here, the kingdom’s heir.
        What speaks the oracle?

119PhiloclesSuch a verdict, madam,
        Requires an Oedipus† to construe† it.
        I neither know’t, nor am solicitous†
        After the meaning.

120Geron*Wisely spoken, pupil.
        So whilom answered an Egyptian porter
        To one demanding what he bore concealed:
        “’Tis therefore covered that thou shouldst not know”.
        The cases are alike*.

121EudinaPray, let us hear it.
        Cannot your tutor, Geron, play the Hermes†
        T’interpret it?

122Geron*I am not enigmatical†,
        But all for apothegms†. Besides, I say
        (As, whilom, Aristippus* of a riddle)
        It is not safe to loose† what being bound†
        Doth trouble us so much.

123GarrulaLet me come to’t.

124DisaniusYes, by all means. For as one whilom said,
        The blind are best i’th’ dark.*

125GarrulaMy lord, your trumps†
        Are ever shot at me. Blind as I am,
        I perceive that. And make much of your riddle,
        I know both what it can and will come to,
        Better without the sight of it, than all
        You can, with all your wise constructions.
        And so I leave you.

126ThymeleNot in anger, Garrula.

127GarrulaMadam, you know I know.* I must take leave
        To take a nap.   [She] exits.   

128DisaniusAnd Governor Geron, wait† upon your mother;
        Trust our cares with your charge.

129GeronSo whilom said
        A schoolboy, when another raised his top*:
        Let me alone, myself can keep it up.   [He] exits.   

130EudinaAnd now let me entreat that we may hear
        The hidden sentence. Happily so many
        May guess at the intent.

131DisaniusShe longs to hear*
        Which of the two is pricked† to be her husband.
[Producing a paper]

132Philocles*Here it is, if there be anything.
[Taking paper]

133DisaniusLet me be clerk. I hope at least to read it:
        Contend not for the jewel which
        Ere long shall both of you enrich.
        Pursue your fortune: for ’tis she
        Shall make you what you seem to be.
        Apollo, thy great wisdom hath quite fooled mine.

134PhiloclesNothing but contradictions.

135ThymeleAs how, Philocles?

136PhiloclesHe commands here:
        Contend not for the jewel– we agree
        Eudina is the jewel– which shall both of you enrich.
        How shall she enrich us both? Can she be wife to us both?
        Then here he bids:
        Pursue your fortune.– And we both agree
        Eudina is that fortune too: she’s both
        The jewel we must not contend for, and
        The fortune we must both pursue. Then here
        He says ’tis she shall make us what we seem to be.
        What do we seem? We are no hypocrites
        In flesh or spirit; no fantastic† bodies
        Or shadows† of humanity.

137PhilargusNo, Delphos is but a den of jugglers† which profanely
        Abuse divinity, and pretend a god
        Their patron to authorise their delusions.

138DisaniusNephews, the gods had need be cautelous†
        For what they speak, if you may be their judges.

139ThymeleWhat thinks good Justinius?

140JustiniusMy lords, here’s two commands:
        One, that you not contend to gain the jewel;
        The other, that you both pursue your fortune.
        Both these commands are thus to be obeyed.
        Contend not for her as to violate
        Your unexampled friendship, which you are
        Renowned for o’er all Greece; and both pursue
        Your fortune in her without eithers’ grudge,
        At tother’s† happiness in her choice.

141PhilargusNoble Justinius, thanks.

142PhiloclesThis we can do.

143PhilargusAnd for the happiness which we both aspire to,
        We here confirm the friendship long since plighted†,
        Which never shall be broken by Philargus.

144EudinaNoble Philargus.

145PhiloclesSo vows Philocles,
        ’Tis not the cloudy language of the gods
        Shall make our breasts tempestuous or stormy;
        But with the same serenity and quiet
        As heretofore†, our hearts shall mingle still†,
        And fortify their truce. Let the event
        Expound their riddle.* If good, it is our merit;
        If bad, we know our virtue can correct it.
        Meantime, Philargus, take the word of Philocles,
        That though there be no happiness on earth
        I can esteem above Philargus’ friendship,
        But fair Eudina’s love, which only is
        The treasure I can covet† from Philargus;
        And cannot look to live but to enjoy it
        Rather than justle† with his friendship, I
        Will die to lose it.

146EudinaNoble Philocles.*

147PhilargusYou have made my vow, my brother Philocles,
        And friend, which is above it. I will seek
        And rather die than fail to gain her love:
        But that, and the whole kingdom in addition,
        Must divide* our friendship or† affection.
        As we are twins in birth, we’ll be in mind
        Unto our latest† breath. Let Greece hereafter
        Forget to mention the Tyndarides*
        With their alternate deities*, and tell
        Of two Thessalian brothers* could* refuse
        A happiness (which only is not heaven)*
        In detestation of priority*;
        Would not be happy, ’cause† they might not share
        An individual*, both time and thing.

148Eudina   [Aside]   Love and ambition (I have heard men say)
        Admit no fellowship; it holds not here.*
        These will have neither wife nor crown alone.
        They each desire my love; but neither can
        Enjoy’t unless he were the other man.
        My love is doubly ta’en, yet must gain neither,
        Unless I could enjoy them both together. O ye gods!
        Why made ye them two persons, and assigned
        To both but one inseparable mind?
        Or, why was I marked out to be that one
        That loves and must embrace or† two or none.
        Oh my perplexity† !   [She] sinks.   

149DisaniusLook to the princess!

150PhilargusMadam! How fares the life of goodness?

151PhiloclesShe sinks. Dear mother, sister, bring your aids.*

152PhilargusTo keep the world alive* give your assistance.

153JustiniusYe gods be now auspicious†.

154DisaniusA love-qualm†.
        To bed with her and call for Cupid’s† aid;
        He best can cure the wound that he has made.[They all exit.]*

Edited by Eleanor Lowe