ACT III. SCENE I.
Piſo, Victoria.
Pi.WHy not me, Lady? ſtand not I as faire,
And fit for your embraces as any man
?
Vic.Yes ſir tis granted; and as acceptable
Pi.Tis but to try my Courtſhip, I preſume,
That you put on this coyneſſe, and to draw
More ample teſtimony of affection,
By Proteſtation, Prayers, Compliments;
The weakeſt ceremonies due to love;
Meere noyſe and Lip-labour, with loſſe of time.
I thinke with ſcorne upon ſuch poore expreſſions,
And am above the art of
Amoriſts,
That cringe and creepe by weake degrees of
Love;
To Kiſſe the hand, the Cheek, the Lip, then cry
O Divine touch! then ſmirk, and then embrace,
Then nuzzle in the
Elizium of your boſome,
And be entranc’d! meanes fit for duller ſpirits,
K 2To
The Novella.
To gather heat and ſtrength of appetite.
My deſire ſpeakes in
Loves true dialect;
And, from my heart inflam’d, you may perceive
Loves fire rage in mine eyes, enough
To melt to yeildingnes a frozen breaſt.
In this I talke too much. I finde you yeilding.
Vic.And I my ſelfe too blame――――
Vic.Miſtake me not good Signior. Keep your diſtance
:
I blame my ſelfe to let you overweene
By my long ſilence, that immodeſty
To be in me, that might embolden you
To your and my diſhonor. Pray deſiſt,
And let the friendly welcome you have found
Perſwade your faire conſtruction.
What make you here i’th’
Smock-Faire, preciouſ Miſtris?
Or why theſe dreſſings, theſe perfumes and paintings?
Doe you weare the habit of our
Curtezans,
And, by their art, call Gazers to your beauty,
Full of high hopes and flames of ardent Love,
Thus to delude, and make them witneſſes
Of a cold ſeeming
Chaſtity? what new Art
Is this? it cannot be to get a huſband
!
Vic.Nor a child neither ſir, that’s leſſe.
Pi.That’s ſoone believ’d, yet, no diſparagement
To your expert ſufficiency in the trade
:
For the beſt Carpenters make feweſt chips,
There’s very few of all your function fruitfull
:
Yet ſome there be approved men at armes
Famous in publique ſervice: and a many
Good handy craftſmen in the
Arſenall
Bred by this bounteous City from ſuch mothers
[K 2v]That
The Novella.
That nere could boaſt their fathers; and as many
Daughters (if they prove worthy in their feature)
Succeed their active Mothers in their fortunes.
Vic.You are better read then I ſir.
Pi.Tis common knowledge Lady. Nor do I
Read this t’informe your ſelfe, who were inſtructed
(I make no doubt) before your price was ſet,
By all examples to your preſent practiſe.
Vic.Sir, I muſt tell you now, you grow too laviſh;
So, as I feare foule language; to’avoyd which
Let me intreat a faire departure hence.
Pi.Lady, this overacted State might fit
The wife of a
Clariſſimo, or the baſhfull
Daughter of ſome
Patrician: but in you,
A pi ce ſet out to ſale, it but appeares
Affected ſingularity, more unſutable
To the temptations you weare about you
Then th’ holy ſeeming pictures in your Chamber.
Vic.Why ſhould it trouble you ſir?
Pi.It dos, to thinke what new and ſecret aime
You may intend by this; in taking on you
The habit, and the name of
Curtezan:
And, firſt, to ſet a price ſo far beyond
The ſtrength of any ordinary meanes;
And then to ſhew a carriage that may ſtrike
Luſt out of countenance! O the Knot’s diſſolv’d!
O
Oedipus! o
Sphynx! I now have found it
You fiſh for Fiſhermen (tis pregnant truth)
Shee claps a Cardinall aboord at leaſt:
Tis not a Lay-mans purſe, or Learning can,
Or purchace, or confute you, iſt not ſo?
Vic.Now you are foule indeed, and I muſt plead
My priviledge againſt you ſir, you know
I have a freedome grounded upon cuſtome
Here in this City, for a moneth to make
K 3Choyce
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Choyce of my Lodging, ſet what price I pleaſe
Upon my ſelfe; admit what viſitants
I ſhall thinke fit; no other, nor no more;
And this without controule, or leaſt exception
Of you or any man; ſecur’d by th’ City,
So ſafe from out-rages, that leaſt abuſe
May, on my juſt complaint, be puniſhable
In whomſoever by affront dares grive me.
Pi.I feare ſhee’l prove another creature then
The Beaſt I tooke her for: ſhee knows her ſtrength.
Vic.Yet thus much (for you are a Gentleman)
I’le yeild for ſatisfaction unexacted
:
If in this Moneths ſpace, in that honor’d way
(For I deſpaire not of a huſband ſir)
Of holy Marriage, I be not promov’d;
Nor, by that time prefix’d, the Great Son tenderd
(Great as you terme’t) for my virginity;
And that I ſtoope for leſſe, here is my hand,
I will be yours as freely as mine owne
Pi.Said like a noble Wench,
Onely a word by way of friendly adviſe,
And ſo farewell. This Maydenhead of yours,
By you ſo highly pris’d; now being ripe
(And therein only merchantable ware)
Will, if you overſlip the ſeaſon, grow
Sodainly fulſome, ſtreight way ſtale, then Rotten:
Think upon choyceſt Fruit, or Foule, or Fiſh,
Rich Wines, or any Rarity; how ſoone
Vic.I am enough inſtructed.
Pi.Once more farewell――pray ponder on theſe things.
Pi.Could you conſider how ’twould grieve a ſoule
Indued with Reaſon, Knowing, the true uſe
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Of
Nature’s delicates, to ſee ’hem loſt,
Or ſpoil’d for want of ſeaſonable taking,
I know you would, and thanke me for my counſell.
Pi.Indeed farwell then.
Exit.
Vic.Hee’s gone, at laſt the tedious ſtorme is over.
I ſhall want day, as w ll as patience
T’ indure and anſwer all the reſt ſo largely,
See my ſprightly
Frenchman!
I muſt looke
For a hot Onſet now, though a ſhort Skirmiſh.
Enter Horatio, like a French cavalier, Paulo preſents him.
Hor.Let me in my approach admire that Object
That vindicates the voyce of Fame, in proving
Shee was no Lyer in the lowd reports,
That blaz’d it for the Beauty of the World
!
Vic.Good ſir beware idolatry.
Would they forbeare their wonted heatheniſh worſhip,
And fall in adoration of this face――――
Vic.Indeed i’le heare no more.
You are ſo farre above the pitch of flattery
That higheſt courtſhip in our beſt of Language
Wants due expreſſi n of your ſupreame graces:
And not to tender you the heighth of prayſe
Were mere Ruſticity, rather prophanation.
Vic.Yet. Let me ſtay you there, and let me tell you
You have worded well your high conceipt of me,
But in a way ſo low, ſo undeſerving
A courtiers art, that I have found you none.
How can it fall in courtly underſtanding
That beauty can be conquerd by it’s praiſe?
It breeds but leſſe reſpect, and oft times ſcorne
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From thoſe that are ambitious of praiſe
On ſuch praiſe-givers. And if you came onely
Thus to pronounce my praiſe, you have ſaid enough.
Hor.Nay deareſt Lady, ſaving your diſpleaſure―――
I muſt come cloſer to her, ſhee’l forget
Aſide.
Vic.Sir, your further pleaſure.
Hor.To tell you, Lady, now I like your wit
Equally with your beauty; briefly of which
A word or two, and ſo unto our buſineſſe.
(You tax me with the loſſe of time already)
You doe conſider fitly, that to praiſe
What we would purchace makes the value higher:
It is the chapmans rule to diſcommend.
Vic.Right ſir, were you to buy a Horſe or Jewell,
You would not praiſe it paſt the price propounded.
Hor.Yes. where I finde the worth exceed the price.
Vic.(I am betray’d. Hee brings the Money
Hor.And, that you know I doe eſteeme your worth
Above all Salary, I yeild my ſelfe,
Fraught with unvaluable Love and Honor
To be the due reward of your embraces.
Vic.What’s this ſir, to a thouſand double Duccatts?
Hor.You cannot thinke ſo poorely, or if ſo,
Perceive them in a taſte of my endowments.
Firſt ſee my late compoſure; where the flame
Of the ſoule-raviſhing art of
Poeſy
May light your judgement ’bove the love of money.
Vic.You’l ſay my ſoule is noble, then if I
(As I proteſt I doe) complaine the wants
Of even the beſt profeſſors of that art.
Hor.To notes my voyce can maſter?
Vic.Pleaſe you to read ’hem ſir, and in requitall
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Of ſuch a debt, my mayd ſhall ſing ’hem for you.
Enter Jacconetta.
Jacconetta, obſerve this Dity.
Hee Reades the Song.
Let not the corrupted ſteame
Of invective breach blaſpheme,
Ladies for thoſe artfull graces
Which they lay upon their Faces:
Ceruſe and Vermillion there
As (to cover Nature bare)
Pain’d, or Lame, we ſeeke to Art,
(Nature’s Rector) to reſtore
Us, the ſtrength we had before.
Who can ſay a Ladies Face
Or the priviledge, or grace
Her other parts may boaſt?
Ladyes no, ſince Time may ſteale
Natures bounty, learne to heale;
And with nimble hand repaire
Teeth and Lips, Cheeks, Eyes and Haire;
Filling wrinkles, purling veynes:
Upon your lookes, the ſtroakes and paines
[K 5]Vic.
The Novella.
Vic.Now try your voyce, Maide.
Jac. Sings.
Hor.However ’twas well Sung, you ſeeme to ſlight
In ſuch requitall, my eſteeme of you:
But yet there reſts in me a quality,
I may ſuppoſe not ſo to be requited.
Pleaſe you command your Muſick, I will Dance,
To what you firſt ſhall name of lateſt practiſe.
Vic.Your ſkill hath made you confident; and I
Do ſo much honour theſe endowments in you,
That I my ſelfe will anſwer you in this.
Hor.To come the cloſer to you, the
Novella.
Vic.I am but weakly practis’d yet in that.
Vic.No let it be the ſame.
Goe play it
Jacconetta, the
Novella.Exit Jac.
Hor.I doe begin to doubt my qualities
Will not paſſe here in payment at the rate
My ſchooling coſt me, when ſhee repayes all
I can beſtow, in the ſame coyne againe
:
But ſince I’m in, i’le on, and make the beſt
Both Face and Legs I can in’t.
Dance.
Hor.How like you it Lady?
Vic.For ſo much ſir as you have excell’d me
I crave your kind acceptance of my thanks.
Hor.I ſtill had rather you were pleas’d to accept
Me and my whole deſervings. I come to you.
If you eſteeme of Courtſhip, Language, Quality,
Sorting a Gentleman of beſt degree,
The Mixture of whoſe knowledge with his practiſe
Coſt thrice your golden Son; let me and thoſe
Be made the meed of your moſt ſweet enjoying.
Vic.I will not make you ſuch a loſer ſir,
[K 5v]But
The Novella.
But rather wiſh you had your money againe
Hor.You doe not flout me Lady?
Vic.No, i’le ſpeake plainly ſir, theſe qualities
Might on ſome thriving Stage, and lucky legs
Bring you your money againe, winning, perhaps,
The love of ſome old Lady, by ſtirring up
The embers of affection, rather luſt.
Hor.Did ever woman talke ſo?
They will not paſſe for ready money ſir.
Hor.I dreampt as much. Shee has a devilliſh wit.
Vic.My curteſie ſir forbids me bid you hence;
But having private buſineſſe of my own
I muſt crave leave to leave you to the thought
Of what two thouſand Duccats are.
Exit.
Enter Paulo.
Pau.Is it perform’d ſir? have you done the feat?
Pau.Juſt as the Muſick playd I warrant you
Sir, ’twas a moving Leſſon; playd to th’life.
We ſtruck it home, that you might do ſo too.
Hor.The Rogue, too, jeeres me! ſir I ſhould doe well
To ſtrike, or beat your undeſerv’d Fee
out of your bawdy Pocket.
Pau.As if you had not done the doe you came for!
What pretty wayes can Gentlemen find out
To ſave their moneys! ’Tis worth praiſe in ſome,
That have but little, or come hardly by’t,
By travaile, ſtudy, or laborious toyle,
Deare ſh fts ſometimes, and dangerous wayes with
Pau.But for you Gallants, that have, as it were
[K 6]Wealth
The Novella.
Wealth above wit borne with you, and ſtill growing
Up with you, paſt the reach of your expences;
And never ſweat, but for your exerciſe,
Or what your exerciſes bring you to!
For you to thinke your pleaſures coſtly; faine
Excuſe for petty fees, now the great charge
Is paid, and your deſire ſatisfied ―――
Pau.Alas ſir, what is a poore Duccatoun
After a thouſand Duccats?――――
Pau.Would you had not; ’leſſe my reward were better.
See, ſee, the bed made ſmoth againe and all!
(O precious craft!) as here had nothing been
!
Well would yee were all as wiſe in greater matters.
Hor.Tis the Rogues humor
: I will give him ſomething
For abuſing me. There’s your Duccatoun
To worke more affability in your Miſtris
Againſt my next approach.
You are not cloyd with her deliciouſneſſe.
Hor.Nor had one taſt (I ſweare by life and honour)
Of all my hopes, more then her Hand and Lips.
Pau.Have you not in that a double meaning ſir?
Hor.I vow, for ought I know ſhee is a virgin.
Pau.Y’have ſatisfied me, and perhaps my art
May in your abſence worke a little for you.
Pau.My profit pricks me to it.
Hor.Reſpect it then, Adieu.
Exit
The feare of thee is paſt. I was almoſt
In a cold ſweat
: but all the danger now,
Lyes on the tother ſide o’th’houſe; my Don
My hot Goat-liver’d
Diego, ſhould he now
[K 6v]Diſ
The Novella.
Diſcharge his Piſtols on her, they would prove
More forcible then Cannon-ſhot on me.
Enter Pedro, Victoria.
Faith quit me of ſuſpect. How big hee lookes!
As if he ſcorn’d repulſe. If he grow violent
I’le bring the Duchman in to coole his pride,
And ſet them by the eares for our
Low Countries.
Exit
Ped.I have not in all
Spaine (where Majeſty
Enthroned ſits upon the brow of beauty,
And crowne the Ladies with prerogative
’Bove all the women of the Earth) incountred
With ſuch a ſcorne, as here. Diſcourteous woman,
Worthleſſe and ignorant of the weighty truſt
Was tenderd to thee in my blood and honour.
Vic.Your blood and honour, will not feed or cloath
Ped.I will not charge a word more with a mouth
So full of rudenes, and mechanick baſeneſſe.
Vic.Not upon my ſubmiſſion ſir
?
Ped.It muſt be great and ſodaine if it move me.
Vic.Hee lookes that I ſhould kneele and beg a Kiſſe.
Ped.Why ſeeke you not to expiate your treſpaſſe
By tender of your ſelfe to my embraces?
Vic.I cannot doe’t: My virgin Modeſty
I ſee tis only force muſt conquer you.
Vic.You will not raviſh me
! within there! help!
Enter Paulo, Jacconetta.
Pau.What! is the great ſome tender’d?
Doe you want hands to tell your money Miſtris?
Vic.No, to take off the hands of Rape and Outrage
This proud imperious Spaniard grip’d me with.
Pau.Signior you muſt not gripe nor grope here
Under the ſum prefix’d; two thouſand Duccats.
[K 7]We
The Novella.
We have arithmetique to receave them by
In your own Piſtolets, or peeces of Eight
In Rialls, if you pleaſe; but not one ſingle one
To be abated, my moſt thrifty
Don;
Whom I cannot abuſe enough me thinks,
I have ſeene one in your ſhape ſo well preſented.
Ped.Villaine, i’le have thee whipp’d for this affront,
Thy fault is puniſhable by the Law.
Pau.Not in deſence of honour deare
Don Tarquin,
Preventing Rape and Murder.
Ped.Villaine die.
He drawes
Pau.Not at this diſtance ſir,
Piſtoll.
Enter Swatzenburgh.
Swa.Hence you Muſkitta. Give a look more this way
I’le force thee take thy wings out at the window.
Ped.Borne down by
Bravoes! let the place protect ye,
By my few minutes patience. My revenge
Shall ſhortly ſpeake in thunder.
And vent not here your lowd
Rodomontadoes
Ped.Well ſir I am ſilent.
Pau.Be ſo my politique
Don. This
Hans has ſnapt her;
The Dutch man carries her from your great claime
:
And this may be an ominous portent
Againſt your title to the
Netherlands,
It may hold in the great worke ſir, as well
Pau.Nor they heare me not my noble
Signior,
I’le tell you for your ſatisfaction
This
Alinanie is a younker that would marry her,
And ſhee nor I durſt beare it otherwiſe,
(Knowing by chance he ſlipp’d into the houſe,
[K 7v]And
The Novella.
And overheard us) when you come againe
I will informe you further, you ſhall finde
My information worthy of a fee.
Ped.Take from my hand a peece of foure Gazetts.
Pau.That’s three pence ſterling, you are bounteous ſir,
So, now, looke bigge and vaniſh.
Exit Pedro.
Vic.I have not ſir, in my ſhort ſtory ſtrayd
In the leaſt ſillable from truth, and were
The eyes of all the world fix’d upon
My ſeeming Levity, my mind ſhould be
Still conſtant as the center to that end
Reſerv’d in my free thoughts.
Swa.Why was the ſum, then, of two thouſand duccats
Proclaim’d the price of your virginity?
Vic.To keep the fl ſh flies off, you know my aime ſir.
Swa.I find the noble Lady; nor can I
Further attempt a breach upon your honor.
Vic.Upon thoſe termes I pray ſir be my Gueſt,
I have by this time a ſlight Dinner ſtaying.
Swa.Your favours make me bold.
Vic.See all in readineſſe
Jacconet.
Exit Jac.
Swa.I’le drinke a frolick Lady;
Mirth and good wine take me: My looſe deſire
Is to chaſt love refin’d by
Veſta’s fire.
Exit.
Pau.Am I a prophet? ſure the Dutchman’s tane
In a chaſt ſnare indeed. I did but forge it
For an excuſe to calme and rid the Spaniard,
And he ſeemes to prevent my fiction: yet
Preſumption ſhall not ſway me. Womens wiles
Are oft times paſt prevention, and men catch
Sence of the wrongs, which to prevent they watch.
Exeunt Omnes.
[K 8]A C T.