Act 3. Scene 1.
Enter Gardner, and Martha his wife.
Gar.PRay lets agree upon’t good wife, you are my wife I
take it, and I ſhould have the command, yet I entreate
[E3v]and
The Sparagus Garden.
Mat.And ſo would any man I thinke that has ſuch a help
and commings in by his wife as you have: tis not your durty
Sparagus, your Artichoaks, your Carpes, your Tulips, your
Strawberries, can bring you in five hundred pound a yeare,
if my helping hand, and braine too were not in the buſineſſe.
Gar.Let us agree upon’t: and two or three yeares toyle more,
while our trade is in requeſt and faſhion, will make us purcha-
ſers. I had once a hope to have bought this Mannor of Marſhland
for the reſemblance it has to the Low Country ſoyle you came
from, to ha’made you a Banke-ſide Lady. Wee may in time
be ſomewhat. But what did you take yeſterday
Mat in all, what
Mat.Poore pidling doings; ſome foure and twenty pound.
Gar.What did the rich old Merchant ſpend upon the poore
young gentlemans wife in the yellow bed-chamber?
Mat.But eight and twenty ſhillings, and kept the roome al-
moſt two houres. I had no more of him.
Gar.And what the Knight with the broken Citizens wife (that
goes ſo Lady like) in the blew bed-chamber.
Gar.That was pretty well for two.
Mat.But her huſband, and a couple of ſerving-men had a diſh
of
Sparagus, and three bottles of wine, beſides the broken meate
Gar.Every thing would live
Mat : but here will be great
Courtiers and Ladyes to day you ſay.
Mat.Yes they ſent laſt night to beſpeake a ten pound dinner,
but I halfe feare their comming will keep out ſome of our more
conſtant, and more profitable cuſtomers.
Gar.Twill make them the more eager to come another time
then
Mat . Ha’they paid their reckoning in the Parlour?
Mat.Yes, but hutchingly, and are now going away.
Act 3. Scene 2.
Gentleman and Gentlewomen to them.
Gar.O here they are going.
[E4]Gent.
The Sparagus Garden.
Gent.I proteſt Mr. Gardner your wife is too deare: Sixteene
ſhillings for a diſh of Sparagus, two bottles of wine, and a little
Sugar, I wonder how you can reckon it.
Mat.That was your reckoning in all ſir; wee make no ac-
count of particulars, but all to Mall, as they doe in the Nether-
Gent.Your Dutch account Mrs. is too high for us to trouble you
Mat.That’s as you pleaſe ſir, a faire day after you:
Ex. Gen.
Who would be troubled with ſuch pinching gueſts?
Gar.I, tis good to miſreckon ſuch to be rid of ’hem.
Mat.They are ee’n as welcome as the Knight that comes hither
alone alwayes, and walkes about the garden here halfe a
day together, to feed upon Ladyes lookes, as they paſſe
to and fro; the peeping Knight, what doe you call him?
Gar.O Sir
Arnold Cautious .
Mat.You may call him Cautious, I never ſaw five ſhillings of
Gar.No, he comes but to feed his eyes, as you ſay, with leering
at good faces, and peeping at pretty inſteps.
Mat.Sir
Hugh-Money-Lacke, our gather-gueſt as we call him,
ſends us no ſuch dull cuſtomers: O that good Gentleman! never
did any Taverne, Inne, or new Ordinary give tribute to a more
deſerving gentleman –– oh here come gallants.
Act 3. Scene 3.
Enter Gilbert, Wat, and Sam (diſguis’d) to them.
[Link] Three, and ne’re a woman! ſtrange! theſe are not the Courtiers
Gil.This is his daily haunt: I warrant thee we find him.
Wat.And it ſhall take, ne’re feare it
Sam.
Gil.By your leave Mr. and Mrs. or rather Lord and Lady of the
Wat.Nay Prince and Princeſſe of the Province of Aſparagus.
Sam.The Iſland of two Acres here, more profitable
than twice two thouſand in the Fens, till the drainers have done
[E4v]Mat.
The Sparagus Garden.
Mat.You are pleaſant gentlemen: what is your pleaſure?
Gil.Saw you Sir
Arnold Cautious here to day?
Gil.Ha’you a roome i’your houſe for us?
Mat.Have you any more company to come to you?
Wat.Yes, we expect ſome gentlemen.
Mat.Gentlemen did you ſay?
Gil.Yes indeed gentlemen, no gentlewomen I
Mat.Intruth ſir all the roomes within are
Gil.What they are not gone abroad, are they?
Mat.You are alwayes pleaſant ſir: I meane they are all taken up.
Gil.There are ſome taken up in’hem, is’t not ſo?
Mat.Still you are pleaſant ſir: they are indeed beſpoken for
great Courtiers, and Ladyes that are to dine here.
Gar.If you will beſtow your ſelves in the garden, and make
choice of your Arbour: you ſhall have the beſt cheer the houſe can
afford yee, and you are welcome.
Gil.Be it ſo then; let’s walke about gentlemen.
Wat.And a diſh of your Sparagus.
Mat.You ſhall have it gentlemen.
Exit.
Gil.Did you note the wit o’the woman?
Wat.I, becauſe we had no wenches we muſt have no chamber-
roome, for feare ſhe diſappoynt ſome that may bring’hem.
Sam.Shee ſpake of great Courtiers and Ladyes that are to
Wat.Some good ſtuffe perhaps.
Gil.Why I aſſure you, right noble, and right vertuous perſons,
and of both ſexes doe frequent the place.
Sam.And I aſſure you, as ignoble and vicious doe peſter it too
much; and theſe that reſpect profit meerely have not the wit, and
leſſe the vertue to diſtinguiſh betwixt the beſt and the worſt, but
Wat.’Tis enough for them to weed their garden, not their gueſts:
O here comes our collation.
FAct.
The Sparagus Garden.
Act 3. Scene 4.
Enter two boyes, they cover a Table, two bottles of wine,
Diſhes of Sugar, and a diſh of Sparagus.
Gil.ANd what’s the price of this feaſt boy?
Gil.What art thou a French-man?
Boy.No, I tooke you for one ſir, to bargaine for your meate be-
fore you eate it, that is not the generous Engliſh faſhion, you
Gil.Goe get you gone with your wit, and tell your prodigall
Wat.Goe, we’ll call when we want attendance.
Ex. Boy.
Gil.Sam you are too ſad; let not your diſguiſe alter you with us:
Come here’s a health to the Hans in Kelder, and the mother of
Wat.We want Sir
Hugh Mony-lacke here to diſcourſe the
vertues of this precious plant Aſparagus, and what wonders it
hath wrought in
Burgundy, Almaine, Italy, and
Languedoc before
the herboriſts had found the ſkill to plant it here.
Sam.What’s he to whom wee ſeeke?
Wat.Who mine Vncle, Sir
Arnold Cautious; he’ll come, ne’re
doubt him; he ſeldom miſſes a day to pry and piere upon the beau-
ties that come to walke here.
Gil.Tis ſuch a Knightling, Ile but give yee his Character, and
he comes I warrant thee; he is an infinite admirer of beauty,
and dares not touch a woman: he is aged about fifty, and a batche-
lour: he defies wedlocke, becauſe he thinkes there is not a mai-
den-head in any marriageable beauty to be found among Wo-
Sam.Yet you ſay he is an admirer and hunter after the ſight
Gil.He gets a crick in his neck oft-times with ſquinting up at
windowes and Belconies; and as he walkes the ſtreets, he peepes
on both ſides at faire breaſts and faces, as he were ſeeking Birds-
neſts; and followes pretty feet and inſteps like a hare tracker.
[F1v]Wat.
The Sparagus Garden.
Wat.This is ſtill mine Vncle.
Gil.And when he ſees a Coach of Ladies about to alight, hee
makes a ſtand, in hope to ſee a delicate legge ſlip through a lac’d
ſmocke, which if he chance to diſcover he drivells.
Sam.Well, how your plot may hold to my purpoſe I cannot
ſee: he is the unlikelieſt man to have a wench put upon that you
Gil.I grant the attempt is hard, but the higher will be the at-
chievement: truſt my experience
Sam : for as in every inſtru-
ment are all tunes to him that has the ſkill to find out the ſtops, ſo
in every man there are all humours to him that can find their
fauſſets, and draw’hem out to his purpoſe.
Wat.Feare not the plot, as we have caſt it, nor the perfor-
mance in the Comedy, though againſt mine owne Naturall
Gil.Thy unnaturall Vncle thou wouldſt ſay: hee ne’re did
thee good in’s life: Act but thine owne part, and be not out
Sam,
Wat.He’s ſomewhat too yong to act a rorer: but what lads
have we ſeene paſſe for ſouldiers?
Act 3. Scene 5.
Enter three Courtiers and Ladies : Cautious aloofe.
Sam.O here come the great gueſts.
Gil.And theſe are nobles ones indeed; theſe are Courtiers
Clinquant, and no counterfeit ſtuffe upon ’hem: I know’hem all,
every Lady with her owne huſband too: what a vertuous honeſt
age is this: and ſee if thine Vncle bee not at his old game,
bopeepe i’the taile of’hem. Hee ſhall follow’hem no fur-
ther: Sir
Arnold Cautious, Noble Knight you are well en-
Caut.Good Maſter
Gold wyer, doe you know theſe Ladies; or
Gil.Yes, and noble ones, the three Graces of the Court, the
Lady Stately, the Lady Handſome, and the Lady peereleſſe, doe
F 1Gil.
The Sparagus Garden.
Gil.How the ſlave twitters; you look not up at greatnes, you
mind too much the worldly things that are beneath you: if you
had ſuch a Lady under you, (of your owne I meane) you would
Gil.Looke no more after’hem, they are gone: beſides they
are vertuous, and too great for you: when will you get a
convenient wife of your owne, to work out the dry itch of a ſtale
Caut.Goe, goe, you are a wag, I itch not that way.
Gil.Will you goe this way with me then, and heare what I will
Caut.With all my heart, I am free from buſineſſe.
Gil.You have a Nephew, whoſe ſiſter I marryed, a vertuous
wife ſhe is, and I love him the better for’t; he is a younger bro-
ther, and borne to no great fortune: now you are very rich, a
Batchelour, and therefore I think childleſſe ––
Caut.Introth Mr. Gold-wyer you muſt pardon mee, I may
not ſtay with you: I had almoſt forgot a moſt important buſi-
Sam.Ee’n now he had none.
Gil.Nay good Sir
Arnold Cautious, you know not what Ile ſay.
Caut.I ſay he is an unthrift, a Squanderer, and muſt not expect
Gil.He does not, ſhall not, not to the value of a token: pray
ſtay, and heare me ſir; tis no ill ayre to ſtay in.
Caut.I withall my heart good Mr. Gold-wyer; I like the aire
well, and your motion hitherto.
Gill.Will you be pleas’d to doe your kinſman the favour to fur-
ther him in a match; I mean an honeſt lawful marriage match––
but with your countenance, and a good word at moſt.
Caut.The moſt unthankfull office in the world: pray uſe ſome
other friend in’t: indeed I ſtay too long.
Gil.Heare but who it is that he loves, how likely he is to ob-
taine, what abundant profit the match may bring him, and the
deſperate undoing danger he falls into if he be not matched, and
Caut.Why what new danger is he towards, more than the old
[F2v]ill
The Sparagus Garden.
ill company he was wont to keep?
Gil.Oh ſir, he is now in league with a companion more dread-
full than’hem all, a fellow that is in part a Poet, and in part a
Gil.You have hit upon his name: his name is Bounce, do you
Caut.Not I, nor deſire acquaintance with either of his qua-
Gil.He is a gentleman, ſir, that has been upon ſome unfortunate
late ſervices that have not anſwer’d his merit.
Caut.And now he is come home to right himſelfe, by writing
his owne meritorious acts, is he?
Gil.Good introth, I wiſh you would ſee’hem, to come over
’hem with a jeere or two; I know you are good at it: They are
in an Arbour here cloſe by, drinking to their Muſes, and glori-
fying one another for eithers excellency in the art moſt Poe-
Caut.Glorifie doe you ſay? I have heard Poets the moſt en-
vious detractors of one another of all Creatures, next to the very
Gil.Abroad perhaps and aſunder, but together there’s no ſuch
amity: You never ſaw’hem drinke: pray ſee hem ſir, it may take
your Nephew off of his Ningle, who hath infected him with Poe-
try already: and twenty to one, if he faile in the match, which I
was about to mention; he will winne him away to the wars too,
and then he may be loſt for ever.
Caut.Good Mr. Gold-wyer goe you to your company, I am not a
man of reckoning amongſt ſuch; beſides I ſeldome drink betwixt
Wat.At his owne coſt he meanes.
Gil.I commend your temper: you ſhall not bee in the recko-
ning; but I beſeech you let me prevaile with you: See, wee are
upon’hem: ſave you Gentlemen: I have brought you a noble
friend, your Vncle: I know he is welcome to you brother
Wat;
and you I am ſure will make him ſo Mr.
Bounce : when you ſhall
heare he is an admirer of Poetry and warre.
Caut.Even a farre off I aſſure yee: I never durſt approach near
F 3the
The Sparagus Garden.
the fury of either of the fiery qualities.
Sam.It is your modeſty, not feare that keeps you at diſtance I
Caut.Poets may imagine any thing: imagination is their
wealth, ſome of’hem would be but poore elſe: are you turn’d
Wat.For my private recreation ſir.
Caut.What by writing Verſes to win ſome Miſtreſſes to your
private recreation: meane you ſo?
Sam.You dare not ſir blaſpheme the vertuous uſe
Of ſacred Poetry, nor the fame traduce
Of Poets, who not alone immortall be,
But can give others immortality.
Poets that can men into ſtars tranſlate,
And hurle men downe under the feete of Fate:
Twas not
Achilles ſword, but
Homers pen,
That made brave
Hector dye the beſt of men:
And if that powerfull
Homer likewiſe wou’d,
Hellen had beene a hagge, and
Troy had ſtood.
Gil.Well ſaid Poet, thou tumbleſt out old ends as well as the
Sam.Poets they are the life and death of things,
Queens give them honour, for the greateſt Kings
Caut.Enough, enough; you are the firſt good Poet that e’re I
ſaw weare ſo good a Countenance: leave it, I would not have a
gentleman meddle with Poetry for ſpoyling of his face: you ſel-
dome ſee a Poet look out at a good Viſnomy.
Caut.Yes, and that is a Poeticall Policy: where the face is
naturally good without ſpot or blemiſh, to deface it by drinking,
or wenching, to get a name by’t.
Sam.A death deſerving ſcandall.
Gil.Hold, hold.
They ſcuffle, and Wat
Sam.Thy malice, and thy ignorance
throwes Sam, and of–
Have doom’d thee.
fers to ſtab him. Gil.
Gil.Gentlemen what meane yee?
holds his Dagger.
Wat.My blood muſt not endure it.
[F3v]Gil.
The Sparagus Garden.
Gil.You have wrong’d us all, and me the moſt.
Wat.The wrong is chiefely mine; yet you adde to it
By hindring my juſt vengeance.
Sam.Ile find a time to right you, or my ſelfe.
Exit
Wat.My next ſight of thee is thy death:
I feare you are hurt ſir; are you, pray ſir tell me?
Caut.Let me firſt admire thy goodneſſe and thy pitty:
My owne true naturall Nephew.
Caut.I now conſider, and will anſwer thee
In a full meaſure of true gratitude.
Wat.But good ſir are you not hurt? if you bleed, I bleed with
Caut.Oh ſincere Nephew, good boy I am not hurt,
Nor can I thinke of hurt, my thoughts are bent
Upon thy good; you were ſpeaking of a choyſe ſir,
My Nephew would be matcht to, let me know the party.
Gil.Will you ſir ſtand his friend?
Caut.Let me but know the party and her friend,
Wat.How am I bound to you!
Caut.Nephew, I am yet bound to thee, and ſhall not reſt till I
am dis-ingag’d by doing this office for thee: what is ſhe, let me
Gil.Sir, as we walk you ſhall know all; ile pay the reckoning
Caut.But by the way Nephew, I muſt bind you from Poetry.
Wat.For a Wife you ſhall ſir.
Gil.Poetry, though it be of a quite contrary nature, is as pretty
a jewell as plaine dealing, but they that uſe it forget the Pro-
Act 3. Scene 6.
Enter Courtiers and Ladyes.
1 Cour.COme Madams, now if you pleaſe after your garden
To exerciſe your numerous feet, and tread
(Feaſt,
A curious knot upon this graſſie ſquare;
[F4]You
The Sparagus Garden.
You ſhall freſh vigour adde unto the ſpring,
And double the encreaſe, ſweetneſſe and beauty
Of every plant and flower throughout the garden.
1 Lad.If I thought ſo my Lord, we would not doe
Such precious worke for nothing; we would be
Much better huſwifes, and compound for ſhares
Our Sparagus dinner reckoning.
2 Cour.I commend your worldly providence:
Madam, ſuch good Ladies will never dance
Away their huſbands Lands.
1 Lad.But Madams will yee dance?
1 Lad.Not to improve the garden good my Lord,
A little for digeſtion if you pleaſe.
1 Cour.You have done Nobly Ladyes, and much honour’d
This peece of earth here, with your gracefull footing.
1 Lad.By your faire imitation, good my Lords.
1 Cour.May the example of our harmleſſe mirth
And Civill recreation purge the place
But wiſhes weed no gardens; hither come
Some wicked ones they ſay.
1 Cour.We ſeek not to abridge their priviledge;
Nor can their ill hurt us; we are ſafe.
1 Lad.But let us walke, the time of day calls hence.
Act 3. Scene 7.
Money-Lacke, Hoyden, Springe, Brittle-ware, rebecca, Coulter.
Mon.YOu are now welcome to th’Aſparagus Garden Land-
Reb.I have beene long a comming for all my longings: but
now I hope I ſhall have my belly full on’t.
Mon.That you ſhall, feare not.
[F4v]Reb.
The Sparagus Garden.
Reb.Would I were at it once.
Mon.Well, becauſe ſhe deſires to bee private, goe in with
your wife Mr.
Brittleware, take a roome, call for a feaſt, and ſatif-
ie your wife, and bid the Mrs. of the houſe to provide for us.
Brit.I will ſir.
Ex. Brit. Wife.
Mon.And how doe you feele your ſelfe, Mr. Hoyden after your
bleeding, purging, and bathing, the killing of your groſſe humors
by your ſpare dyet, and your new infuſion of pure blood, by your
queint feeding on delicate meates and drinks? how doe
Hoy.Marry I feele that I am hungry, and that my ſhrimpe dyet
and ſippings have almoſt famiſhed me, and my purſe too: ſlid I
dare be ſworne, as I am almoſt a gentleman, that every bit and e-
very ſpoonfull that I have ſwallowed theſe ten dayes, has coſt me
Spr.Is it poſſible that you conſider this, and bee almoſt a
Hoy.Small acquaintance I doe not lye to you: truth’s truth, as
well in a Gentleman as a begger, or I am both almoſt, and per-
haps not the firſt that can write ſo.
Spr.Doe you note how his wit riſes?
Hoy.There’s one of my hundred pounds gone that way, all but
Coul.You ſee now what a fine hand you have made of your mo-
ney, ſince you got it out of my clutches.
Hoy.Then there’s my apparell, a hundred pound went all in
three ſuits, of which this is the beſt.
Spr.But what doe you thinke of your wit hundred pound?
Hoy.Marry I thinke that was the beſt laid out: for by it I have
got wit enough to know that I was as cleerely coſen’d out of it as
heart can wiſh: o’my ſoule and conſcience, and as I am almoſt a
gentleman, and a man had come to
London for nothing elſe but
to be Cheated, hee could not bee more roundlier rid of his
Mon.Well ſir, if you repine at your expences now, that you
want nothing but your Belly-full of Sparagus to finiſh my worke
of a gentleman in you; I will, if you pleaſe, in lieu of that
ſtuffe up your paunch with Bacon and Bagge-pudding and put you
Gbacke
The Sparagus Garden.
backe againe as abſolute a Clowne as ever you came from plough.
Coult.I would he’re come to that once.
Sprin.Take heed how you croſſe him.
Hoy.Nay pray ſir bee not angry, (though to the ſhame of a
Gentleman I ſay it) my teeth doe ee’ne water at the name of the
ſweet Country diſh you ſpoke of (bacon and bag-pudding) yet
I will forbeare it: but you ſay I ſhall fill my belly with this new
Daintrill that you ſpake of: theſe Sparowbills, what doe you
Mon.You ſhall have your belly full.
Hoy.Top full I beſeech you.
Mon.You ſhall: but I muſt tell you, I muſt ha you turn away
this grumbling Clowne that followes you: he is as dangerous
about you, as your fathers blood was within you, to croſſe and
Hoy.True, you ſaid you would help me to a boy no bigger than
Spr.And you ſhall have him, a pretty little knave, you may
Coul.Yes wuſſe, to pick’s money out if he had it; ſhortly’twill
come to that bevore’t be long.
Hoy.Coulter you muſt to the plough again; you are too heavy
a clog at the heeles of a gentleman.
Coult.I with all my heart, and I con you thanks too.
Hoy.The Clowne, my fathers heire, will be glad of you.
Mon.Have you an elder brother?
Hoy.You doe not heare me ſay he is my brother; but the clown
my father had a former ſon by a former wife, that was no gentle-
woman as my mother was, and he is a Clowne all over, and incu-
rable, even get you to him, like to like will agree well: here’s a
Crowne for you,’twill carry you a foote to
Tanton; and ſo get
you gone like a Clowne as you are.
Coult.’Tis well you allow me ſome money yet: we ſhall have
you begge all the way home ſhortly, when your Cheaters have
Spr.Why doe you not correct him ſir?
[G1v]Coult.
The Sparagus Garden.
Coult.Nay why do not you, he dares not? though he could ſpare
his Clowne blood, he dares not venture his Gentleman blood ſo,
nor you yours, tis all too fine I doubt; therefore keepe it, make
much on’t: I would be loath a jaile ſhould ſtay my journey, or by
my Curſen ſoule I would ſee what colour the beſt on’t were be-
fore I goe. But if I don’t your errand to your brother, and tell’n
how you doe vlout’n behinde’s back, then ſay Cut’s a Curre:
And ſo a vart vor a varewell to the proudeſt o’yee; and if
you be an anger’d, tak’t in your angry teeth.
Exit.
Spr.What a rude Raſcall’tis? you are happy that he is gone.
Mon.And ſo am I, he hindred halfe my worke; ſeven yeares
time is too little to make a gentleman of one that can ſuffer ſuch
a Clowne within ſeven mile of him.
Hoy.Would hee were beyond Brainford on his way then by
this time for me. But you forget the way you were in; you ſaid
you would fill my belly; and then fall to practice fine comple-
ments and congies to make me a perfecgt gentleman, and fit to ſee
Act 3. Scene 8.
Enter Brittleware and Rebecca to them.
Hoy.See if my Surgeon and his wife have not fil’d themſelves,
and come wiping their lips already?
Mon.So ſhall you preſently: now Landlady are you pleaſd with
Reb.With the Aſparagus I am; and yet but halfe pleas’d nei-
ther, as my huſband ſhall very well know.
Mon.Well, wee will leave you to talk with him about it:
come ſir let us into the houſe.
Ex.
Brit.But halfe pleas’d ſweet-heart?
Reb.No indeed
John Brittleware; the Aſparagus has done its
part; but you have not done your part
John ; and if you were an
honeſt man
John, you would make ſir
Hughes words good of the
aſparagus, and be kinder to me: you are not kinde to your owne
wife
John in the Aſparagus way; you underſtand me : for ought
G 2I ſee
The Sparagus Garden.
I ſee Pompeons are as good meat for ſuch a hoggiſh thing as thou art.
Brit.Well when we come at home
Beck, I know what I know.
Reb.At home, is’t come to that? and I know what I know: I
know he cannot love his wife enough at home, that won’t bee
kind to her abroad: but the beſt is I know what my next lon-
Brit.More longings yet! now out of the unſearchable depth
of womans imagination, what may it be?
Reb.It beginnes to poſſeſſe me already, ſtill more and more:
now tis an abſolute longing, and I ſhall be ſick till I have it.
Brit.May I know it forſooth, tell it that you may have it.
Reb.I dare tell it you, but you muſt never know that I have it.
Brit.If you dare tell it.
Reb.Dare; nay be as jealous as you will: thus it is, I do long
to ſteale out of mine owne houfe, unknowne to you as other wo-
men doe, and their huſbands nere the wiſer, hither to this ſame
Sparagus Garden, and meet ſome friend that will be kind to me.
Reb.in private; unknowne to you, as I told you;’tis unpos-
ſible I ſhall ever have a child elſe, and you ſo jealous over me as
Brit.Art thou a woman and ſpeak this?
Reb.Art thou a man, fve yeares married to me; and aſke mee
Brit.Art thou ſo full of the Devill to flye out in this rnanner?
Reb.Why his hornes flye not out of me to fright thee, do they?
Bri.Oh for a hell that has not a woman in’t?
Act 3. Scene 9.
Enter a Gentleman and a City Wife.
Reb.Look you there
John jealouſie, there’s an example before
your eyes, if nothing hang i’your ſight; there you may ſee the dif-
ference between a ſower huſband and a ſweet natur’d gentleman!
good heart! how kindly he kiſſes her! and how feately ſhe holds
up the neb to him! little heart! when will you be ſo kind to your
Brit.Is that his wife thinke you?
[G2v]Reb.
The Sparagus Garden.
Reb.No, no, I know her, tis Mris.
Holy-hocke the preciſe Dra-
pers wife; oh, how my longing growes ſtronger in me: J ſee
what ſhift ſoever a woman makes with her huſband at home, a
Act 3. Scene 10.
Enter Servant to them.
Ser.Jndeed my Mris. will not take this money, there wants two
Wom.Why is my peece too light?
Ser.Two light for the reckoning Mrs. it comes to two and twen-
ty ſhillings, and this is but twenty.
Gent.Unreaſonable; how can ſhe reckon it.
Ser.I know what you had ſir, and we make no bills.
Gent.Well fare the Taverns, yet, that though they coſen’d never
ſo much, would downe with it one way or other: and their
Jacks, go agen; now tell your Mris.& that will hinder her ſomwhat.
Gent.Then tell her the Counteſſe of
Copt Hall is comming to
be her neighbour againe, and ſhe may decline her trade very dan-
Ser.My Mris ſcorns your words ſir.
Wom.Nay ſweet Coſen, make no uprore for my reputation’s ſake;
here youth there’s two ſhillings more, commend me to your mis-
Brit.She payes the reckoning it ſeems.
Reb.It ſeems then he has beene kinde to her another way.
Ex.
Act 3. Scene 11.
Enter Money-Lacke, Hoyden, Springe, Martha.
Mon.How is’t? I hope you are not wrangling now, but better
Reb.No, no, ſir
Hugh; tis not the Sparagus can do’t, unleſſe the
Hoy.But may I now be confident that I am almoſt a gentleman.
Spr.Without that confidence you are nothing.
Mon.There wants nothing now, but that you may learn the rules &
rudiments, the principles and inſtructions for the carriages, con-
gies, & complements, which we’ll quickly put into you by practice.
Hoy.And then the ſpending the little reſt of my mony, and I am a
cleare gentleman; & may ſee my uncle.
[G3]Mon.
The Sparagus Garden.
Hoy.And I will write it, and crowd it into as many Bonds as
I can a purpoſe to write gentlemen;
Timothy Hoyden of
Tanton–
no, of
London, Gentleman:
London is a common place for all
gentlemen of my ranke, is it not?
Spr.Excellent, doe you not marke how finely he comes on?
Hoy.But as I hope to live and dye a gentleman Mrs. what ſhi’
call, your reckoning was devilliſh deare: s’daggers three pound
for a few Cuckoe pintles, they were no better I thinke.
Spr.Now you fall backe againe, and derogate from the condi-
tion of a gentleman moſt groſy, to think any thing too deare you
Hoy.Poxe on’t, I had forgot.
Mon.When he has his rules and principles, which muſt be his
next ſtudy, he will remember.
Hoy.Pray let’s about it quickly.
Mon.Now we’ll goe; but you forget me Miſtreſſe.
Mat.No indeed ſir Hugh, here’s two Peeces for laſt week and
Mon.Tis well: Landlord and Landlady will you goe?
Brit.Would you wou’d long to be at home once.
Wif.So I doe perhaps, and to be here againe, and there againe;
and here, and there, and here againe; and all at once.
Wif.And I doe long to goe to
Windfor too, to know if the pro-
pheſie be as true there, as tis reported here.
Mat.How did you heare it goes forſooth?
Wif.That all old women ſhall die, and many young wives ſhal
have Cuckolds to their huſbands.
Mat.I heard forfooth that all young wives ſhould dye that
were pure maids when they were marryed.
Mat.So report goes forſooth.
Wif.You ſpeake very comfortably: It may be a long journey
Brit.It ſeems you are not proſcribed by the propheſie then?
Hoy.My firſt worke when I am compleat gentleman ſhall bee
[G3v]to
The Sparagus Garden.
to get them a Child, and make ’hem friends.
Mon.A moſt gentlemanly reſolution.
Wif.And truely the City is much bound to ſuch well affected