ACT 2*
2.1
Four witches [MAUD, GILL, MEG, and GOODY DICKIESON], enter severally.

190All.Ho! Ho!* Well met! Well met!*

191Meg.What new device, what dainty strain,
        More for our mirth now than our gain,
        Shall we in practice put?

192Goody Dickieson.*Nay, dame,
        Before we play another game,
        We must a little laugh and thank
        Our feat familiars for the prank
        They played us last

193Maud.Or they will miss
        Us in our next plot, if for this
        They find not their reward.

194Meg.’Tis right.*

195Gill.Therefore sing, Maud, and call each sprite.
        Come away, and take thy duggy.

196Maud. Come Mawsy, come Puckling,
And come, my sweet Suckling,
 My pretty Mamilion, my joy!
Fall each to his duggy
While kindly we hug ye
 As tender as nurse over boy.
  Then suck our bloods freely and with it be jolly,
  While merrily we sing hey trolly-lolly.

 We’ll dandle and clip ye,
We’ll stroke ye and leap* ye,
 And all that we have is your due;
The feats* you do for us
And those which you store us
 Withal ties us only to you.
  Then suck our bloods freely and with it be jolly,
  While merrily we sing hey trolly-lolly.
Four spirits [MAMILION, PUCKLING, SUCKLING, and MAWSY] enter.

197Meg.Come, my Mamilion, like a puggy.

198Maud.And come, my Puckling, take thy teat.
        Your travels have deserved your meat.

199Meg.Now upon the churl’s ground*
        On which we’re met, let’s dance a round*;
        That cockle, darnell, poppia wild*,
        May choke his grain and fill the field.
[The witches and their familiar spirits dance.]

200Gill.Now, spirits, fly about the task
        That we projected in our masque*.Spirits exit.

201Meg.Now let us laugh to think upon
        The feat which we have so lately done,
        In the distraction we have set
        In Seely’s house; which shall beget
        Wonder and sorrow ’mongst our foes,
        Whilst we make laughter of their woes.

202All.Ha, ha ha!*

203Meg.I can but laugh now to foresee,
        The fruits of their perplexity.

204Gill.Of Seely’s family?

205Meg.‘Ay, ay, ay!’
        The father to the son doth cry;*
        The son rebukes the father old;
        The daughter at the mother scold;
        The wife the husband check and chide,
        But that’s no wonder, through the wide
        World ’tis common.

206Gill.But to be short,
        The wedding must bring on the sport
        Betwixt the hare-brained man and maid,
        Master and dame that over-swayed*.

207 All.*Ha, ha, ha!

208Meg.Enough, enough,*
        Our sides are charmed, or else this stuff
        Would laughter-crack them; let’s away
        About the jig: we dance today
        To spoil the hunters’ sport.

209Gill.Ay, that be now the subject of our chat.

210Meg.Then list ye well: the hunters are
        This day by vow to kill a hare,
        Or else the sport they will forswear,
        And hang their dogs up*.

211Maud.Stay, but where
        Must the long–threatened hare be found?

212Gill.They’ll search in yonder meadow ground.

213Meg.There will I be, and like a wily wat,
        Until they put me up*, I’ll squat.

214Gill.I and my Puckling will a brace
        Of greyhounds be*, fit for the race;
        And linger where we may be ta’en
        Up for the course in the by-lane;
        Then will we lead their dogs a course,
        And every man and every horse,
        Until they break their necks, and say —

215All.‘The devil on Dun* is rid this way!’
        Ha, ha, ha, ha!

216Meg.All the doubt can be but this,
        That, if by chance of me they miss,
        And start another hare —

217Gil. — Then we’ll not run
        But find some way how to be gone.
        I shall know thee, Peg, by thy grizzled gut*.

218Meg.And I you, Gillian, by your gaunt thin gut.
        But where will Maud bestow herself today?

219Maud.O’th’ steeple top! I’ll sit and see you play.They exit.
2.2
MASTER GENEROUS, ARTHUR, BANTAM, SHAKESTONE, and WHETSTONE enter.

220Generous.At meeting and at parting, gentlemen,
        I only make use of that general word,
        So frequent at all feasts, and that but once; you’re* welcome.
        You are so, all of you, and I entreat you
        Take notice of that special business
        Betwixt this gentleman, my friend, and I,
        About the mortgage to which, writings drawn,
        Your hands are witness.

221Bantam and Shakestone.We acknowledge it.

222Whetstone.My hand is there too, for a man cannot set to his mark, but it may be called his hand. I am a gentleman both ways*, and it hath been held that it is the part of a gentleman to write a scurvy hand.

223Bantam.You write, sir, like yourself.*

224Generous.Pray take no notice of his ignorance;
        You know what I foretold you.

225Arthur.’Tis confessed,*
        But for that word by you so seldom spoke,
        By us so freely on your part* performed,
        We hold us much engaged.

226GenerousI pray, no compliment*.
        It is a thing I do not use myself,
        Nor do I love’t in others.

227Arthur.For my part,*
        Could I at once dissolve myself to words
        And after turn them into matter, such
        And of that strength as to attract the attention
        Of all the curious and most itching ears
        Of this our critic age, it could not make
        A theme amounting to your noble worth.
        You seem to me to supererrogate,
        Supplying the defects of all your kindred
        To ennoble your own name. I now have done, sir.*

228Whetstone.   [Aside]   Heyday, this gentleman speaks like a country parson that had took his text out of Metamorphosis*.

229Generous.Sir, you hyperbolize;
        And I could chide you for’t, but whilst you connive
        At this my kinsman, I shall wink at you;
        ’Twill prove an equal match*.

230Arthur.*Your name proclaims
        To be such as it speaks you: Generous.*

231Generous.Still in that strain?*

232Arthur.Sir, sir, whilst you persever to be good
        I must continue grateful.

233Generous.Gentlemen, *
        The greatest part of this day you see is spent
        In reading deeds, conveyances, and bonds*,
        With sealing and subscribing*. Will you now
        Take part of a bad supper*?

234Arthur.We are like travellers
        And where such bait, they do not use to inn*.
        Our love and service to you.*

235Generous. The first I accept;
        The last I entertain not.* Farewell, gentlemen.

236Arthur.We’ll try if we can find in our way home,
        When hares come from their coverts to relieve,
        A course or too.

237Whetstone.Say you so, gentlemen? Nay then, I am for your company still! ’Tis said hares are like hermophrodites, one while male and another female*, and that which begets this year brings young ones the next; which some think to be the reason that witches take their shapes so oft. Nay, if I lie, Pliny* lies too. But come, now I have light upon you, I cannot so lightly leave you. Farewell, uncle.

238Generous.Cousin, I wish you would consort yourself
        With such men ever, and make them your precedent
        For a more gentle carriage.

239Arthur.Good Master Generous ——They exit. Generous remains on stage.*
ROBERT enters.


241Robert.*Sir.*

242Generous.Go call your mistress hither.

243Robert.My mistress, sir? I do call her mistress, as I do call you master, but if you would have me call my mistress to my master, I may call loud enough before she can hear me.

244Generous.Why, she’s not deaf, I hope! I am sure since dinner
        She had her hearing perfect.

245Robert.And so she may have at supper too, for aught I know, but I can assure you she is not now within my call.

246Generous.Sirrah, you trifle. Give me the key o’th’ stable.
        I will go see my gelding; i’th’ meantime
        Go seek her out. Say she shall find me there.

247Robert.To tell you true, sir, I shall neither find my mistress here, nor you your gelding there.

248Generous.Ha! How comes that to pass?

249Robert.Whilst you were busy about your writings*, she came and commanded me to saddle your beast, and said she would ride abroad to take the air.

250Generous.Which of your fellows did she take along to wait on her?

251Robert.None, sir.

252Generous.None! Hath she used it* often?

253Robert.Oftener, I am sure, than she goes to church, and leave out Wednesdays and Fridays*.

254Generous.*And still alone?*

255Robert.If you call that alone when nobody rides in her company.

256Generous.But what times hath she sorted for these journeys?

257Robert.Commonly when you are abroad, aud sometimes when you are full of business at home.

258Generous.To ride out often and alone! What saith she
        When she takes horse, and at her back-return*?

259Robert.Only conjures me* that I shall keep it from you, then claps me in the fist with some small piece of silver*, and then a fish cannot be more silent than I.

260Generous.I know her a good woman and well bred,
        Of an unquestioned carriage, well reputed
        Amongst her neighbors, reckoned with the best*.
        And o’er me most indulgent*; though in many
        Such things might breed a doubt and jealousy,
        Yet I hatch no such frenzy. Yet to prevent
        The smallest jar that might betwixt us happen,
        Give her no notice that I know thus much.
        Besides, I charge thee, when she craves him* next
        He be denied: if she be vexed or moved,
        Do not thou fear. I’ll interpose myself
        Betwixt thee and her anger. As you tender
        Your duty and my service*, see this done.

261Robert.Now you have expressed your mind, I know what I have to do; first, not to tell her what I have told you, and next to keep her side-saddle from coming upon your gelding’s back; but, howsoever, it is like to hinder me of many a round tester*.

262Generous.As oft as thou deny’st her, so oft claim
        That tester from me: ’t shall be roundly paid.

263Robert.You say well in that, sir. I dare take your word. You are an honest gentleman and my master; and now take mine as I am your true servant. Before she shall back your gelding again in your absence, while I have the charge of his keeping, she shall ride me, or I’ll ride her.

264Generous.So much for that. Sirrah, my butler tells me
        My cellar is drunk dry; I mean those bottles
        Of sack and claret are all empty grown
        And I have guests tomorrow, my choice friends.
        Take the gray nag i’th’ stable, and those bottles
        Fill at Lancaster,
        There where you use to fetch it.

265Robert.   [Aside]   Good news for me. --   [Aloud]   I shall, sir.

266Generous.O Robin, it comes short of that pure liquor
        We drunk last term in London at the Mitre*
        In Fleet Street. Thou rememb’rest it? Methought
        It was the very spirit of the grape,
        Mere quintessence of wine.

267Robert.Yes, sir, I so remember it, that most certain it is I never shal forget it; my mouth waters ever since when I but think on’t. Whilst you were at supper above, the drawer had me down into the cellar below. I know the way in again if I see’t, but at that time, to find the way out again, I had the help of more eyes than mine owne!* Is the taste of that ipsitate still in your palate, sir?

268Generous.What then? But vain are wishes. Take those bottles
        And see them filled where I command you, sir.

269Robert.I shall. --   [Aside, with glee]   Never could I have met with such a fair opportunity: for just in the midway lies my sweetheart, as lovely a lass as any is in Lancashire, and kisses as sweetly. I’ll see her going or coming! I’ll have one smooch at thy lips, and be with thee to bring*, Mall Spencer!

270Generous.Go, hasten your return.ROBERT exits.*
        What he hath told me
        Touching my wife is somewhat strange. No matter.
        Be’t as it will, it shall not trouble me.
        She hath not lain so long so near my side
        That now I should be jealous.
A SOLDIER enters.

271Soldier.You seem, sir, a gentleman of quality, and no doubt but in your youth have been acquainted with affairs military. In your very looks there appears bounty, and in your person humanity. Please you to vouchsafe the tender of some small courtesy to help to bear a soldier into his country.

272Generous.Though I could tax you, friend, and justly too,
        For begging ’gainst the statute in that name*,
        Yet I have ever been of that compassion,
        Where I see want, rather to pity it
        Than to use power. Where hast thou served?

273Soldier.With the Russian against the Polack*, a heavy war*, and hath brought me to this hard fate. I was took prisoner by the Pole, and after some few weeks of durance, got both my freedom and pass. I have it about me to show; please you to vouchsafe the perusal.

274Generous.It shall not need. What countryman?**

275Soldier.Yorkshire*, sir. Many a sharp battle by land, and many a sharp storm at sea, many a long mile, and many a short meal, I have travelled and suffered ere I could reach thus far. I beseech you, sir, take my poor and wretched case into your worship’s noble consideration.

276Generous.Perhaps thou lov’st this wandering life, to be an idle loitering beggar than to eat of thine own labour.*

277Soldier.I, sir! Loitering I defy, sir. I hate laziness as I do leprosy: it is the next way to breed the scurvy. Put me to hedge, ditch, plough, thresh, dig, delve, anything! Your worship shall find that I love nothing less than loitering*.

278Generous.Friend, thou speakest well.
The MILLER enters, his hands and face scratched and bloody.

279Miller.Your mill, quoth he! If ever you take me in your mill again, I’ll give you leave to cast my flesh to the dogs*, and grind my bones to powder betwixt the millstones*. ‘Cats’ do you call them? For their hugeness they might be cat-a-mountains, and for their claws, I think I have it here in red and white* to show. I pray look here, sir. A murrain take them, I’ll be sworn they have scratched where I am sure it itched not!*

280Generous.How cam’st thou in this pickle?*

281Miller.You see, sir, and what you see, I have felt, and am come to give you to understand I’ll not endure such another night if you would give me your mill for nothing. They say we millers are thieves*, but I could as soon be hanged as steal one piece of a nap* all the night long. Good landlord, provide yourself of a new tenant; the noise of such caterwauling* and such scratching and clawing, before I would endure again, I’ll be tied to the sail when the wind blows sharpest and they* fly swiftest, till I be torn into as many fitters as I have toes and fingers.

282Soldier.I was a miller myself before I was a soldier. What, one of my own trade should be so poorly spirited, frighted with cats?
        Sir, trust me with the mill that he forsakes.*
        Here is a blade that hangs upon this belt
        That, spite of all these rats, cats, weasles, witches
        Or dogs, or devils, shall so conjure them,
        I’ll quiet my possession*.

283Generous.Well spoke, soldier.
        I like thy resolution.   [To the MILLER]   Fellow, you then
        Have given the mill quite over?*

284Miller.Over and over! Here I utterly renounce it, nor would I stay in it longer, if you would give me your whole estate. Nay, if I say it, you may take my word, landlord.

285Soldier.   [To GENEROUS]   I pray, sir, dare you trust your mill with me?

286Generous.I dare, but I am loath, my reasons these:
        For many months, scarce anyone hath lain there
        But have been strangely frighted in his sleep,
        Or from his warm bed drawn into the floor,
        Or clawed and scratched, as thou see’st this poor man,
        So much that it stood long untenanted
        Till he late undertook it. Now thine eyes
        Witness how he hath sped.

287Soldier.Give me the keys. I’ll stand it all danger.*

288Generous.’Tis a match.*   [To the MILLER]   Deliver them.

289Miller.   [Handing the keys to the SOLDIER]   Marry, with all my heart, and I am glad, I am so rid of ’em.They exit.
2.3
A BOY with a switch enters.

290Boy.Now I have gathered bullies, and filled my belly pretty well, I’ll go see some sport. There are gentlemen coursing in the meadow hard by; and ’tis a game that I love better than going to school, ten to one.
An invisible spirit ( J. Adson*) enters with a brace of greyhounds.

What have we here? A brace of greyhounds broke loose from their masters: it must needs be so, for they have both their collars and slips about their necks. Now I look better upon them, methinks I should know them, and so I do: these are Master Robinson’s dogs*, that dwells some two miles off. I’ll take them up and lead them home to their master; it may be something in my way*, for he is as liberal a gentleman as any is* in our country.   [To one greyhound]   Come, Hector, come. Now if I could but start a hare by the way, kill her, and carry her home to my supper*, I should think I had made a better afternoon’s work of it than gathering of bullies. Come, poor curs, along with me.He exits.
2.4
ARTHUR, BANTAM, SHAKESTONE, and WHETSTONE enter.

291Arthur.My dog as yours.*

292Shakestone. For what?

293Arthur. A piece.

294Shakestone.’Tis done.

295Bantam.I say the pied dog shall outstrip the brown.

296Whetstone.And I’ll take the brown dog’s part against the pied.

297Bantam.   [Sarcastically]   Yes, when he’s at his lap, you’ll take his part.

298Arthur.   [Aside to BANTAM]   Bantam, forbear him, prithee.

299Bantam.   [Aside to ARTHUR]   He talks so like an ass,
        I have not patience to endure his nonsense.

300Whetstone.   [Defiantly raising the stakes]   The brown dog for two pieces.

301Bantam.Of what?

302Whetstone.Of what*
        You dare. Name them, from the last farthings
        With the double rings* to the late coined
        Pieces which they say are all counterfeit*.

303Bantam.Well sir, I take you*.   [Showing coins]   Will you cover these*, give them into the hands of either of these two gentlemen?

304Whetstone.What needs that? Do you think my word and my money is not all one?

305Bantam.And weigh alike: both many grains* too light.*

306Shakestone.   [Aside to BANTAM]   Enough of that.   [To WHETSTONE]   I presume, Master Whetstone, you are not ignorant what belong to the sport of hunting?

307Whetstone.I think I have reason, for I have been at the death of more hares —

308Bantam.   [Interrupting]   More then you shed* the last fall of the leaf.

309Whetstone.More than any man here, I am sure. I should be loath at these years to be ignorant of haring or whoring*. I knew a hare, close hunted, climb a tree —

310Bantam.   [Jeering]   To find out birds’ nests*.

311Whetstone.Another leap into a river, nothing appearing above water, save only the tip of her nose to take breath.

312Shakestone.Nay, that’s very likely, for no man can fish with an angle but his Line must be made of hair*.

313Whetstone.You say right. I knew another who, to escape the dogs, hath taken a house and leaped in at a window*.

314Bantam.It is thought you came into the world that way.

315Whetstone.How mean you that?

316Bantam.Because you are a bastard.

317Whetstone.Bastard! Oh, base!*

318Bantam.And thou art base all over.

319Arthur.   [Aside to BANTAM]   Needs must I now condemn your indiscretion.
        To set your wit against his?

320Whetstone.Bastard? That shall be tried. Well, gentlemen, concerning hare-hunting, you might have heard* more, if he had had the grace to have said less. But, for the word ‘bastard’, if I do not tell my uncle, ay, and my aunt too, either when I would speak aught, or go off the score* for anything, let me never be trusted! They are older than I, and what know I but they might be by when I was begot. But if thou, Bantam, dost not hear of this with both thine ears — if thou hast them still, and not lost them by scribbling* — instead of Whetstone, call me Grindstone*, and for By-blow, Bulfinch*. Gentlemen, for two of you, your company is fair and honest; but for you, Bantam, remember and take notice also, that I am a ‘bastard’*, and so much I’ll testify to my aunt and uncle.He exits.

321Arthur.   [To BANTAM]   What have you done? ’Twill grieve the good old gentleman to hear him baffled thus.

322Bantam.I was in a cold sweat ready to faint the time he stayed amongst us.*

323Shakestone.But come, now the hare is found and started, she shall have law*. So, to our sport!*They exit.
2.5
Enter BOY with the greyhounds.

324BoyA hare, a hare! Halloo, halloo! The devil take these curs! Will they not stir? Halloo, hallo! There, there, there! What, are they grown so lither and so lazy? Are Master Robinson’s dogsturned tykes*, with a wanion? The hare is yet in sight. Halloo, halloo! Marry, hang you for a couple of mongrels (if you were worth hanging), and have you served me thus? Nay then, I’ll serve you with the like sauce: you shall to the next bush, there will I tie you, and use you like a couple of curs as you are, and though not lash you, yet lash you* whilst my switch will hold. Nay, since you have left your speed, I’ll see if I can put spirit into you, and put you in remembrance what ‘halloo, halloo’ means.
As he beats them, there appears before him GOODY DICKIESON and BOY 2, upon the dogs’ going in*.

Now bless me heaven, one of the greyhounds turned into a woman, the other into a boy! The lad I never saw before, but her I know well. It is my Gammer Dickieson.

325Goody Dickieson.Sirrah, you have served me well to swinge me thus.
        You young rogue, you have used me like a dog.

326Boy.When you had put yourself into a dog’s skin, I pray how could I help it? But, Gammer, are not you a witch? If you be, I beg upon my knees you will not hurt me.[He kneels.]

327Goody Dickieson.Stand up, my boy, for thou shalt have no harm.
        Be silent, speak of nothing thou hast seen,
        And here’s a shilling* for thee.

328Boy.   [Standing up and backing away]   I’ll have none of your money, Gammer, because you are a witch.   [Aside]   And now she is out of her four-legged shape, I’ll see if with my two legs I can outrun her.[He runs as fast as he can but cannot move very far.]

329Dickieson.Nay, sirrah, though you be young, and I old, you are not so nimble nor I so lame but I can overtake you.[She reels him in on an invisible line.]

330Boy.But Gammer, what do you mean to do with me, now you have me?*

331Goody Dickieson.To hug thee, stroke thee, and embrace thee thus, [She fondles the Boy.]*
        And teach thee twenty thousand pretty things,
        So thou tell no tales; and, boy, this night
        Thou must along with me to a brave feast.

332Boy.Not I, Gammer, indeed–la, I dare not stay out late. My father is a fell man, and if I be out long, will both chide and beat me.

333Goody Dickieson.‘Not’, sirrah? Then perforce thou shalt along.
        This bridle   [The bridle appears suddenly.]   helps me still at need,
        And shall provide us of a steed.
        Now, sirrah, take your shape and be
        Prepared to hurry him and me.*BOY 2 exits.
        Now look and tell me where’s the lad become?

334Boy.The boy is vanished, and I can see nothing in his stead but a white horse ready saddled and bridled.*

335Goody Dickieson.And that’s the horse we must bestride,
        On which both thou and I must ride,
        Thou, boy, before and I, behind.
        The earth we tread not, but the wind,
        For we must progress through the air,
        And I will bring thee to such fare
        As thou ne’er saw’st. Up and away,
        For now no longer we can stay!
She catches him up and, turning round, exits [with Boy and horse].

336Boy.   [Crying as he is carried off]   Help, help!
2.6
Enter ROBERT and MALL.

337RobertThanks my sweet Mall for thy courteous entertainment, thy cream, thy cheesecakes, and every good thing: this, this, and this for all.Kisse[s her three times.]

338Mall.But why in such haste, good Robin?

339RobertI confess my stay with thee is sweet to me, but I must spur Cut* the faster for’t, to be at home in the morning. I have yet to Lancaster to ride tonight, and this my bandoleer of bottles to fill tonight, and then half a score mile* to ride by curry-comb time i’the morning, or the old man* chides, Mall.

340Mall.He shall not chide thee. Fear it not.

341Robert.Pray Bacchus, I may please him with his wine, which will be the hardest thing to do; for since he was last at London and tasted the divinity of the Mitre, scarce any liquor in Lancashire will go down with him. Sure, sure, he will never be a Puritan, he holds so well with the Mitre*!

342Mall.Well, Robert, I find your love by your haste from me. I’ll undertake you shall be at Lancaster, and twice as far, and yet at home time enough, an be ruled by me.

343Robert.Thou art a witty rogue, and thinkst to make me believe anything, because I saw thee make thy broom sweep the house without hands tother day.

344Mall.You shall see more than that presently, because you shall believe me. You know the house is all abed here, and I dare not be missed in the morning. Besides, I must be at the wedding of Lawrence and Parnell tomorrow.

345Robert.Ay, your old sweetheart, Lawrence? Old love will not be forgotten.

346Mall.I care not for the loss of him, but if I fit him not*, hang me! But to the point: if I go with you tonight, and help you to as good wine as your master desires, and you keep your time with him, you will give me a pint for my company.

347Robert.Thy belly full*, wench.

348Mall.I’ll but take up my milk-pail and leave it in the field till our coming back in the morning, and we’ll away.

349Robert.Go fetch it quickly then.

350Mall.No, Robert, rather than leave your company so long, it shall come to me.

351Robert.I would but see that.
The pail goes.

352Mall.Look yonder. What do you think on’t?

353Robert.’Light, it comes! And I do think there is so much of the devil in’t as will turn all the milk* shall come in’t these seven years, and make it burn too, till it stink worse than than the proverb of the bishop’s foot*.

354Mall.Look you, sir, here I have it. Will you get up and away?

355Robert.My horse is gone! Nay, prithee, Mall! Thou hast set him away. Leave thy roguery!

356Mall.Look again.

357Robert.There stands a black long-sided jade; mine was a trussed gray.

358Mall.Yours was too short to carry double such a journey. Get up, I say. You shall have your own again i’th’ morning.

359Robert.Nay but, nay but —

360Mall.Nay, an* you stand butting now, I’ll leave you to look your horse. Pail, on afore to the field, and stay till I come.
[The pail exits.]

361Robert.Come away then. Hey for Lancaster! Stand up!They exit.

Edited by Helen Ostovich