194AliciaAll Cheapside*n277 Described by Sugden as 'the old Market Place of London', it ran from St Paul's to the Poultry, and was equipped with mercer's stalls at its east end, and Goldsmith's Row between Bread St and Bow church. In Jonson's Bartholomew Fair, Littlewit is particularly taken by his wife's attire and challenges 'all Cheapside to show such another' (1.2.5-6) in a similar vein to Alicia's assertion. and Lombard Street*n278 'named for Lombard merchants who settled there in the 13th century. Meeting place for money-changers, bankers, foreign traders and merchants' (Spove). , madam, could not have furnished you with a more complete bargain. You will find it in the wearing, and thank me both for the goodness of the stuff†gg458 textile material; cloth (see OED n1. 5b); property, household goods (OED n1. 1g); also, stock-in-trade (OED n1. 1j) and of the manufacture.

195LadyBut now the price, Mistress Saleware. I grant your commodity*n279 Perhaps Lady is punning on Alicia's 'goods' as being not only the textiles but her physical attributes also. †gg459 goods, merchandise (OED 6a) is good: the gold and silver laces and the fringes are rich and, I hope, well wrought. Has your man made a note of the particulars and their prices at the rate of ready money*n11286 cash (rather than credit) (for I buy so), and not as you would book’em to an under-aged heir or a court cavalier, to expect payment two or three years hence, and find it perhaps never*n281 perhaps never receive it . I come with, ‘Here is one for tother’.

196AliciaI know your ladyship’s payments*n1402 'They' refers to the payments, which must therefore be plural; emended following Parra. such; and they are prized†gg1345 valued so, madam, to a farthing.

197LadyLet me see: broad plate silver and gold lace,*n282 broad lace made with silver plate and gold as an integral part. two hundred and six ounces half and a dram†gg460 A weight (originally the ancient Greek drachma). at five and tenpence the ounce. Sixty pounds, five shillings, three pence, halfpenny*n430 Modernised from 'ob.' meaning halfpenny (from obolus, Latin). four. Five and tenpence an ounce is dear.

198AliciaI protest unto you, madam, that parcel of lace, for a bed as you intend it, was bespoken and agreed for at six shillings the ounce by a very great person: but because ready money came not to fetch it off†gs76 'make an end of' the bargain (by swapping money for goods; see OED, fetch v. 16b); i.e. collect it (MCWM) , fortune reserved it here for you.*n319 What appears at first glance to be a cunning sales tactic (to make the goods seem all the more desirable) is confirmed later in the scene by Saleware, who refers to the customer as 'Lord Paylate'. You could not have been so fitted on the sudden else within London walls*n1574 The old wall enclosed the city of London on the banks of the river Thames from the Tower to London Bridge, and was punctuated by gates which secured the city at night. The city extended along Fleet Street when the Inns of Court were established. Small portions of the wall can still be seen in the grounds of the Museum of London and around the Barbican area. ; and I am glad the same fortune was so favourable to me, as by my hands to design it for your ladyship’s use and pleasure. I hope, madam, we shall hear of a young heir a coming shortly, and that will make it a rich and fortunate bed indeed. And then Sir Oliver*n320 i.e. Thrivewell would thank me too.

199Lady   [Aside]   What a bold slut it is.   [Aloud]   Well then, the rest of the particulars here of laces and fringes, loops and buttons, makes the sum of all an hundred pound, eight shillings, four pence, halfpenny. I am no good arithmetician, but if any be overcast†gg461 overestimated (OED v. 7, rare) and overpaid, you must allow restitution*n321 Lady seems to be playing on both the monetary sense of 'restitution', i.e. paying back money overcharged, as well as binding the unwitting Alicia in an agreement to make good the hurt she has caused by having sex (for money) with Lady Thrivewell's husband. †gg462 'The action of restoring or giving back something to its proper owner, or of making reparation to one for loss or injury previously inflicted' (OED 1a). .

200AliciaYes, good madam.

201LadyIs all put up into this box?

202AliciaAll, madam.

203Lady   [To Servingman]   Give me my purse. Take you home that*n322 i.e. the box of goods. while I make payment for it.   [Servingman*n256 ] Servant. The speech prefix has been standardised as the entrance direction names the 'servingman' while the exit direction refers to same character as 'servant'. with box of goods] exits.*n323 Moved from its position at the end of Lady's lines so the exit comes directly after her order and before she asks for the weights. The exit is covered by the continuing dialogue.    Your gold-weights, Mistress Saleware.

204AliciaHere, madam, all in readiness.

205LadyYou take no gold but what is weight*n324 i.e. correct, what it ought to weigh (see OED n1. 5). The original spelling and meaning is retained (following Spove), although an alternative reading would be 'weighed'. Lady Thrivewell could additionally be warning Alicia that she knows about Alicia's illicit sexual dealings with her husband, punning on the weight (of a man) borne by a woman during sex. , I presume.

206Alicia’Tis but light pains to weigh it, madam. But let me save your ladyship that labour.

207LadyNor shall it be your trouble. Command your servant, I pray, for a glass of your beer.

208Alicia   [To Apprentice]   Some beer for my lady presently†gg103 immediately (OED adv. 3); without delay .Apprentice exits.

209LadyThat I may tell you in more privacy what perhaps you would not have him hear: for apprentices, though they are bound to keep their masters’ secrets, are not all privy to†gg463 intimately familiar with private or secret knowledge; private their mistresses’; that’s more a journeyman’s†gg464 qualified artisan who has served his apprenticeship office†gg352 service, duty, employment, responsibility .

210AliciaYour ladyship is pleased.

211LadyNot very well with myself, for I have gone beyond my commission in this bargain and exceeded my husband’s allowance. Here’s one hundred pounds, eight shillings, four pence, halfpenny*n430 Modernised from 'ob.' meaning halfpenny (from obolus, Latin). in the bill, and he allows me but the bare hundred pound.

212AliciaThe odd†gs77 'extraneous or additional to what is reckoned or taken into account' (OED adj. n1 and adv. 8a) money is but a small matter, madam.

213LadyA great matter in an honest poor country lady’s purse, may serve her a whole Christmas at post and pair*n432 Lady places emphasis on games involving the number three (cards and persons) which suggests that she is subtly building up to her threat to Alicia, warning her to stay away from her husband. †gg489 'a card game in which players are dealt three cards on which they place bets' (OED, post, n4. 2) , or farthing-gleek†gg490 card game played by three people, presumably with farthings (quarter pennies) or other small coins placed as bets (see OED farthing, n. 5b; gleek, n.1 1) , when the gay gamesters’ wives o’ the city may command the hundreds*n433 i.e. hundreds of pounds. During actor workshops, Robert Lister suggested that this line (and reference to 'hundreds') is the first hint of Lady Thrivewell's threat. Here she is reminding Alicia (as citizen) of her own hundred pound gain from a husband's purse. out of the purses of such poor ladies’ husbands. But here is the odd*n431 i.e. the money in excess of the £100 allowed Lady Thrivewell by her husband. money†gs77 'extraneous or additional to what is reckoned or taken into account' (OED adj. n1 and adv. 8a) : eight shillings, four pence, halfpenny, and so all’s paid.

214AliciaWhat means your ladyship?

215LadyDo you not understand me then? I’ll*n1403 ] me? Then I'll (emended following Parra). tell you that which I thought fit to conceal from your servant, and from your husband too, had he been here; perhaps he knows not on’t. My husband left with you, or lent*n3692 Makes the point that the money only temporarily loaned, but also puns on leaning or resting weight during sex. you, the last term a hundred pound, which he assigned to me, and now I have it in commodity†gs287 'A parcel of goods sold on credit by a usurer to a needy person, who immediately raised some cash by re-selling them at a lower price, generally to the usurer himself' (OED 7b, citing this reference). . Had you forgot it, when it was to do you a good turnn1405 Lady Thrivewell's primary reference is to the money, supplied to Alicia when her husband lacked it; however this thinly disguises a pun on 'turn' as a sexual act, which Saleware was also unable to provide.
During workshops of this scene, the actor Robert Lister suggested that in these lines Lady Thrivewell is offering a get-out clause to Alicia: she can use her husband's financial inadequacy to explain the £100 'loan' (rather than his sexual incompetence). Robert also identified Lady Thrivewell's speeches as a double pact: she won't say anything about Alicia's infidelity, but neither must Alicia expose Lady Thrivewell as a cuckquean. During actor workshops, the actors experimented with the level of threat in Lady Thrivewell's voice and the rapidly-processed thoughts exposed on Alicia's face. when your absent husband failed you and you wanted†gg491 lack it?*n434 Primary sense is money, but Lady's thinly veiled threat also refers to sex.

216AliciaA good turn, madam?

217LadyYes, was it not to have the free use of a hundred pound ready money a whole quarter of a year, through a dead vacation†gg492 'A period during which there is a formal suspension of activity; one or other part of the year during which law-courts, universities, or schools are suspended or closed' (OED n. 2a). ,*n435 i.e. quiet period. and at last to take it out†gg493 withdraw, exchange; receive (OED, take, v. 87a and i) in wares? A good turn, I think, for a tradeswoman. Take heed you do not by your sullenness make me suspect another kind of good turn, or that you did my husband any†gg494 anything to my injury, nor deny the receipt of his money, lest I take up a violence that will not become me, nor you be able to bear. Be therefore well advised both in what you say and who hears me. Somebody comes.

218AliciaMadam, your beer.

219LadyI’ll pledge†gg495 (v) drink a health to (OED 4b) you, Mistress Saleware.

220AliciaI shall presume then, madam.   Drinks.   

221Lady   [To APPRENTICE]   This was right cast†gs78 calculated (see OED 37) , was it not, friend?

222ApprenticeYour ladyship will find it so.   LADY drinks.   

223AliciaAnd I hope you will find your money so well bestowed, madam, that you will vouchsafe†gg496 'to show a gracious readiness or willingness, to grant readily, to condescend or deign, to do something' (OED v. 6b) always to know the shop.

224LadyEver†gg68 always upon the like†gg497 same, similar occasion, Mistress Saleware. So, most kindly farewell, sweet Mistress Saleware.

225AliciaThe humblest of your servants, madam.   [To APPRENTICE]   Open the boot†gg498 (n) part of a coach, e.g. the external step (see OED n3. 4). The OED does not record the meaning as 'receptacle for luggage or parcels' until 1781 (see OED n3. 4c). for my lady.

226Lady’Tis done, my coachman does it.Exit.

227AliciaI would the devil were in your coachman’s coat to take his carriage for his pains.

228LadyOne word more, Mistress Saleware.   [Aside]   Can it be he?*n437 As Bellamy's entrance has been editorially inserted before his first lines, this reference is to him waiting outside, where he is encountered by Lady upon her first exit from the shop. It serves to heighten the audience's curiosity about this mystery 'man', perhaps compounding the joke of Bellamy's true gender when it is made obvious by the actor playing this part. Bellamy's entrance could alternatively be moved to this point, so that Lady gestures to the actor who is therefore also visible to the audience.

229AliciaLay your commands on me, good madam.   [ALICIA] curtsy[s].   

230LadyNot to your trouble. I perceive a young gentleman attends for conference†gg499 conversation with you. Is not his name Fitzgerrard?

231AliciaNo, madam, his name is Bellamy, much depending on†gg500 connected with, belonging to (see OED, dependence, 4a) the young Lord Lovely.

232LadyI thought I had known him. He is a handsome youth. I cannot blame†gg1346 find fault you now with him: but beware of old knights that have young ladies of their own. Once more adieu, sweet Mistress Saleware.Exit.

233AliciaMost courteous madam— and once more to the devil.*n439 Alicia speaks her mind as soon as Lady has left the shop (indicated by the long dash). But on my life, her chaste ladyship is taken with this beardless Bellamy.*n440 Lack of facial hair signifies youth but also strongly hints to the audience that Bellamy's true gender is female. The name 'Bellamy' could signify either gender in the period. Spove has suggested that since there are few explicit references to Bellamy's gender until the final act's revelation, perhaps Brome wrote the play intending for audiences to see it a second time in order to fully appreciate and digest the several jokes which are based on Bellamy's undisclosed gender (p. xix). Later in her introduction, Spove makes the more sensible suggestion that 'Brome lets the audience know of the youth's identity through other ways than the spoken word' (p. xxii). During actor workshops, non-textual suggestions included gestural, postural and vocal clues to hint at gender, coupled with several textual hints, such as 'beardless Bellamy', which may seem subtle to a modern audience but would appear more explicit to their Caroline forebears, whose emphasis on manner and behaviour shaped the reception of aural and visual codes in terms of gender and status. Spove's comments do, however, support the conclusion (based on various pieces of evidence in the printing of the play) that the copy text provided for the printer was some form of pre-theatrical text, perhaps lacking more overt textual references to Bellamy's gender. How she shot eyes at him!

234BellamyNow may your servant obtain a hearing, lady?

235AliciaMy ears are open, sir.

236BellamyBut you are sad or angry. Why seems that brow to threaten a subjection over him that is your vanquished†gg523 overcome, defeat, win captive? Or has Cupid placed his bow there bent at me,*n563 i.e. Alicia's mouth, the shape of Cupid's double-curved bow. Cupid, as god of love, is also a beautiful young boy, whose mention perhaps serves as a clue to the audience as to Bellamy's true gender. whose heart already lodges all his arrows, never to be restored but by your pity?*n562 This might be the beginning of Bellamy slipping into verse, in which case the lines could be lineated thus:

But you are sad or angry.
Why seems that brow to threaten a subjection
Over him that is your vanquished captive?
Or has Cupid placed his bow there bent at me,
Whose heart already lodges all his arrows,
Never to be restored but by your pity?

237AliciaFie, fie upon’t! What talk is this? I am vexed†gg301 trouble, irritate, torment and you would†gg24 wish (that/to) mad†gg524 (v) enrage, bewilder (OED v. 2) me.

238BellamyWhat has displeased you?

239AliciaA cross†gg526 (of events) against one's liking; unfavourable (OED adj. 4) business that has happened in my shop today. I being none of the wisest chapwoman†gg525 female trader have undersold a parcel of the best commodities my husband had. And should he know’t we should have such a squabble*n1420 ] scwable .

241AliciaTalk so and I will hear you; your amorous notes sound like play-speeches.

242BellamyServile, nay, slavish offices, ranking their wives with their apprentices.

243AliciaThey pretend only that we should overlook†gg527 'To watch over officially, look after, oversee' (OED v. 5) our servants, when they but set us there*n564 i.e. publicly place us in their shops. for show to draw in custom. But in making us such overseers they are overseen themselves. Shopkeepers’ wives will be meddling and dealing in their kind, and as they are able as well as their husbands (some much better and more profitable). But I was overreached†gg528 outdone; outwitted, cheated , I confess.

244BellamyFor no great matter†gg529 'A thing, affair, concern' (OED) , I hope?

245AliciaNo, the matter†gs79 physical material of any kind (OED n1. 22a) was not much (that never fretted me) but the manner has e’en killed a she-shopkeeper. I cannot be long-lived here under a penthouse†gg530 structure attached to a building providing shelter or covering, often constructed to protect a shop stall (OED n. 1a and 2a) , as my lord (you know)*n565 The original printed brackets suggest the secrecy and intimacy of the information Alicia is imparting; perhaps she is trying to convey that there is more to her relationship with Lord Lovely, Bellamy's patron, than is superficially apparent. told me when he said he would shut me out of this servitude, and that I should change my coat,*n566 i.e. by literally changing her clothes for more expensive finery, and, in doing so, elevate her social status. Implications of the word 'turncoat' are also apparent, in terms of serving a new master, i.e. Lord Lovely, instead of her husband, Saleware. though my husband could not before he were an alderman†gg531 high-ranking officer of a guild or ward , and be ranked with ladies.

246BellamyMy lord has still the same regard of you.

247AliciaSo it appears by the tailor and the mercer†gg453 a person who deals in textiles, especially silks, velvets, etc. whom he sent four days since*n567 i.e. four days ago to measure me out and suit†gs80 to make appropriate or agreeable (OED v. 10a) †gg538 'to provide with a suit of clothes; to clothe, attire, dress' (OED v. 9a) me to his honour, and no return of them found, yet his*n673 ] found yet. His (emendation follows Parra) land might ha’ been measured*n674 Alicia puns on the taking of her measurements to create new garments as befitting the mistress of a lord to refer to the measuring out of Lord Lovely's land, i.e. that which contributes to his status and income (both of interest to her). The quick sale of the land would diminish both Alicia's necessity for expensive clothes as well as her social-climbing interest in him. all and sold while a poor suit is dreamt on, had he born the mind of some lord!

248Bellamy   [Handing ALICIA a paper]   I doubt not but this paper will clear that jealousy. And while you read, I’ll speak that which I dare not utter through sighs and blushes to an entire attention.

251Alicia   [She reads]   ‘At the Bear at the Bridgefoot*n1163 Famous tavern at the Southwark end of London Bridge, which, according to Sugden, was pulled down in 1761. It is referred to in several Renaissance plays, including Brome's The English Moor [EM 4.2.speech606] and The Northern Lass [NL 1.1.speech87]. , six o’ clock.’ Good.   [Aloud]   Sir, I find my lord’s honourable appointments*n1406 ] appointment's (emendation follows Parra) here, and have heard you all this while.

252BellamyNow I could wish, and was in hope, you had not.

254BellamyYou have schooled*n1193 Manual occupation, characteristic of the lower social classes from which Saleware and Alicia are keen to advance. me fairly. I am humbled, lady—   [He says] going.   

255AliciaD’ye hear*n3693 common cry for shopkeepers and their apprentices to their potential customers , d’ye hear, sir, Master Bellamine*n1170 The play on Bellamy's name is aural, rather than a simple textual error, so it is retained. Perhaps Alicia is hinting that she is interested in Bellamy by adding the suffix 'mine' to his name. There is the added possibility that this is a compositor error, influenced by Cardinal Bellarmine [NOTE n3643] or the large jug of the same name. , one word before you go.

256ApprenticeWhat would he buy, mistress? Can you take his money?   [To Bellamy]   Sir, d’ye hear?

257AliciaPray attend you the tother†gg1195 other (of two) end o’ th’ shop. If I cannot handle a customer, why does your master trust me?    [APPRENTICE exits.]*n3925 There is no exit direction for the apprentice further on in the scene, and it is unlikely that he is present during the conversation between Alicia and her husband. Alicia's explicit wooing of Bellamy suggests either that the Apprentice has exited the stage, or that he remains at a distance and observes her brazen attempt at adultery (the staging of which would require an additional exit direction at a later point in the scene).       [To BELLAMY]   Could a frown fright you? Let a smile then cheer you.

259AliciaPray leave your player-like passionate expressions. And if you love me, like a man speak to me,*n1421 ] me. as I am a woman. Are you silent? If you doubt the length of my man’s ears*n1173 i.e. hearing capabilities. at that distance, you may whisper.   [BELLAMY whispers]   What so?*n1174 This is a problematic line which this edition has placed with reference to Bellamy's whisper. However in the original text, it comes as part of the line, following 'whisper' without punctuation. It could be emended to 'whatso' meaning 'whatever' (see OED) as an alternative meaning. But that is a right shop-whisper indeed with tradeswomen that are handsome†gs47 in a woman usually denotes a fine figure or a stately kind of beauty . Is that the most you will give, sir? Could I afford it so, do you think I’d make two words w’ye?†gg1196 with you Yet this before you go.   [She] kisse[s] BELLAMY.   Now match it for the price; I’ll give it you for nothing.

260BellamyI shall forget I have a lord. I must forget him here.

261AliciaDo so, and if (I say) you love me, speak plainly what you would have me do or what you would do with me.*n1407 Alicia puns on 'do' at the beginning of the line, offering her services in an attempt to prompt Bellamy into promising sexual action, where 'do' refers to sex or sexual activity (a common usage throughout this play).    [Aside]*n1422 In the original text, the aside is made explicit by brackets which surround these lines.    I love to daunt*n1423 ] dant †gg1197 overcome; tame these young things that love before they can love to the purpose or speak to’t handsomely,†gs59 cleverly, skilfully like a boy that would fain†gg715 gladly, willingly, eagerly be shooting at wild-fowl before he knows how to discharge a birding-piece.†gg1198 firearm, gun    [Aloud]   I would hear you speak. You have often muttered and fribbled†gg1024 falters, stammers or muddles through some intentions towards me, but I would hear you speak. Come, if you love me, lay by†gs150 lay by: put aside the fear of the lord that sent you, and tell me roundly†gg1199 plainly (OED 3a); completely, fully (OED 2) now what you would have me do?

262BellamyI would entreat you—*n1424 The dashes at the end of Bellamy's lines in this section of dialogue signify both timid pauses in his speech and the points at which Alicia interrupts him, sometimes both at once.

263AliciaWell; what?

264BellamyThat you would be pleased—

265AliciaWith what? Or to do what?

266Bellamy   [Offering silk stockings]   To wear this pair of silk stockings*n1408 ] stockins for me?*n1178 There is something ironic in Bellamy offering Alicia (the silkman's wife) silk stockings when she would clearly prefer to be offered promises of adulterous behaviour. The stockings perhaps reflect Bellamy's timidity and inexperience in roughly wooing a sexually experienced woman; it is also possible that they have been plucked from amongst the shop goods as a defence against Alicia's predatory advances (both literal and linguistic). In Characterismi, Francis Lenton's description of a 'Sempster Shopkeeper' states: 'Her smile, in asking what you lacke, will force you to want somewhat (though but a paire of sockes) and by your buying of them, shee may draw you to a shirt, and warm it for you too the next morning' (E5). Alicia's disappointed response to Bellamy's petition suggests that in this instance her wooing is a means to a different end: not to increase sales, but secure the object of her affection. The question mark is present as a piece of damaged type in the original printed text, and perhaps describes how the actor should deliver the line, i.e. tentatively, seeking approval, trying to say the right thing.

267AliciaIs that all your suit†gg773 (n) petition, supplication ? ’Tis granted, with my thanks to you. Have you no more to say?

268BellamyYes, I say you are the beautifull’st of women, and that my lord in your enjoyment is the happiest—

269AliciaNay, think not of your lord, but ask me something.*n1179 The presence of the comma (here, as in the original) signifies a pause before 'something' (which Parra indicates using ...). The actor playing Alicia could embellish the pause with various suggestive actions, such as winking, moving closer to Bellamy, looking him up and down etc.

270BellamyI would†gg24 wish (that/to) but dare not hope for such a favour; you’ll never grant it, my unworthiness.*n1180 i.e. to me, being unworthy.

271AliciaHow can you tell?

272BellamyYou will not wrong my lord so as to do it.

273AliciaNot in his sight perhaps. What is it? Come.

274BellamyIt is—

275AliciaIt is then; let it be so. Go to school, child.

276BellamyIt is—that you would,*n1181 The commas and dashes in this line, which copy those found in the original text, seem to act as direction of delivery to an actor, with pauses signifying Bellamy's uncertainty. let me—   [offering a ring]   give you this ring, and grace it with your finger.

277AliciaWill that be a wrong to your lord?

278BellamyYes, to wear any favours†gs136 token given as a mark of favour but his own.

279AliciaDoes he know this?

280BellamyNo, nor I would not that he should (and given by me) for all the rubies in Cheapside*n277 Described by Sugden as 'the old Market Place of London', it ran from St Paul's to the Poultry, and was equipped with mercer's stalls at its east end, and Goldsmith's Row between Bread St and Bow church. In Jonson's Bartholomew Fair, Littlewit is particularly taken by his wife's attire and challenges 'all Cheapside to show such another' (1.2.5-6) in a similar vein to Alicia's assertion. , where I bought this but now, over the way.

281AliciaCome, sir, I’ll dally†gs151 chat, flirt ; delay (OED v. 1, 2a and 4) w’ye†gg1196 with you no longer. I know what you would have with me.

282BellamyAnd now you will betray me. I am shamed then and undone.†gg914 ruins

283AliciaNo, but I have you o’ the hip.*n1182 at a disadvantage; likely to be overthrown (as in wrestling). ’Tis plain you would†gg24 wish (that/to) lie with†gs152 sleep with, have sex with me: deny it if you can.

284BellamyOh dear, did I say so now?

285AliciaWhat need you when I know it? You would lie with me, and you shall. Take courage, man.

286BellamyBut, in good earnest, shall I? Shall I?

287AliciaYes, in good earnest,*n1183 i.e. all seriousness, but also with an underlying pun on sexual credit. you’ll find it no trifling†gg1200 frivolous waste of time (OED vbl. n.) business when you come to’t*n1409 Multiple sexual puns, built on 'business' as sex. once. But, sir, upon condition.

288BellamyAny condition, lady.

289AliciaAll purpose on’t†gg776 of it is lost, and all comes out else.

290BellamyName your condition; I’ll perform it if it be in the power of my life.

291AliciaYou saw here at your coming a fair lady.

292BellamyI took no notice of her.

293AliciaBut she did of you. She is called the Lady Thrivewell.

294BellamySir Oliver Thrivewell’s lady?

295AliciaThe same. You have known her, it seems.

296BellamySeen her before she was married.

297AliciaI will be brief with you. As you love me, she loves you as eagerly, but with much more boldness. You saw her whisper me,*n1184 i.e. whisper to me and how loath†gg1201 reluctant, unwilling (OED adj. 4a) she was to depart when her eye was upon you.

298BellamyI did observe it.

299AliciaShe is my noble friend and the sweetest lady. I need not set her out.*n1185 Presumably this is as far as Alicia is prepared to flatter her rival and enemy, Lady Thrivewell, even if through gritted teeth and for the sake of a vengeful plot. But though you think you suffer in your honour, in being an instrument ’twixt your lord and me, with the base blot†gs153 degrading mark, stain of pander†gg540 go-between, facilitating sexual relations sticking on you (these were your words), I have engaged myself for her to be your panderess. Be so, I shall be even†gg1202 equal; quits (OED a. 10b and c) with you in business if you account†gg1203 reckon (in business terms); consider it so.

300BellamyWhat d’ye mean, lady?

301AliciaTo urge against myself for that sweet lady, which no woman else I think would do that loves you so unfeignedly†gg25 sincerely; without pretence as I. But ’tis my fate, and the injunction I must lay upon you to make me yours, that first you give yourself to her embraces. I’ll give you means for your access to her, and your success with her, which done, and on your faith affirmed to me, ’tis so; I will perpetually be yours more freely than your lord’s.

302BellamyYou urge this but to try my constancy.*n1186 i.e. as a test

303AliciaFor that I’ll satisfy†gs517 fulfill desire, compensate you soon.

My husband’s*n1410 ] husband (emendation follows Parra) coming!   [Aloud]   We must tonight at the Bear— my lord writes so.

304Saleware*n1411 A reader of the 1653 British Library copy (161.a.18) has crossed out this speech prefix, allocating the line to the end of Alicia's speech, and adding Saleware's speech prefix so that he begins speaking with 'Ally, how dost?'. And there I will direct you in your progress.*n1189 An inscription in the margin of the 1653 British Library copy (161.a.18) ascribes this line to Alicia, inserting Saleware's speech prefix before 'Ally, how dost?' If this emendation is adopted it would require Saleware's stage direction appearing as it does in the original, so that all lines preceding it are for Bellamy's ears only, and the line currently allotted to Saleware is actually Alicia's first line aloud in Saleware's hearing. Ally,*n1190 Shortened form of 'Alicia'; also (unwitting) pun on 'alley', meaning 'passage', perhaps a reference to Alicia's sexual activity. how dost? Master Bellamy, how ist? How does my noble lord? You are sad, methinks. Ha’ you overbought†gg1206 paid too much for anything here and so repent your bargain? Or cannot my wife and you agree upon’t? You must use†gs154 treat, deal with Master Bellamy kindly, my sweet Ally: he is our noblest lord’s most special favourite, and must find all fair dealing*n1412 In conjunction with 'use' Saleware's use of 'dealing' is both appropriate and comical, for although he refers to trading, it also commonly stands in for sexual activity. here, as well when I am abroad†gg896 out and about as at home, sweetheart.

305BellamyYou hear not me complain, sir. Fare you well.Exit.

306SalewareWhat an asinego’s†gg388 little ass; fool this! He might ha’ thanked me for my good words, though I meant him no good will. I hope thou hast overreached†gg528 outdone; outwitted, cheated him indeed.

307AliciaThomas, your hopes are vain, Thomas, in seating me here to overreach or underreach†gg1208 'To entrap or defraud by stealth' (OED v. 2; Mad Couple is the only text cited as example) anybody. I am weary of this mechanic course,*n1193 Manual occupation, characteristic of the lower social classes from which Saleware and Alicia are keen to advance. Thomas, and of this coarser habit,*n1194 Unrefined clothing; also punning on the 'course' of manual work which keeps Alicia from climbing in society. There is perhaps some irony in her comments, since she works in a silkshop so may be able to dress better than many of her fellow tradeswomen. Alicia hints here at her desire for new clothes, as promised by Lord Lovely, yet impossible for her husband to provide (to her dissatisfaction). as I have told you divers†gg406 several (OED 3) and sundry†gg1211 several (OED a. 5) times, Thomas, and indeed of you, Thomas, that confine me to’t; but the bound must obey.

308SalewareNever the sooner for a hasty word*n3691 Proverbial? Another example of Saleware's catchphrases. See [ESSAY_MC_CRIT]. , I hope, sweet Ally; not of me, nor of my shop, I prithee,†gg262 (I) pray thee: (I) ask you; please at seasonable times, love. But for thy habit†gg128 clothing (though this be decent on a citizen’s wife) use thine own fancy.†gs126 imagination, creative insight Let it be as courtly or as ladylike as thou pleasest, or my lord*n1413 ] Lords (emended following Parra) desires.

309AliciaThen I am friends again.

310SalewareTroth, and I’ll call thee ‘friend’, and, I prithee†gg262 (I) pray thee: (I) ask you; please , let that be our familiar and common compellation†gg1244 name by which a person is addressed (OED 2b) : friend.*n1414 Saleware is trying out the new word to see how it sounds. It will sound daintily†gg646 fine, handsome; excellent; pleasant, delightful (OED adj. 1); having a palate for fine food (OED adj. 3) , especially when thou shalt appear too gallant†gs139 fashionable, polished, chivalrous (the focus is more on social than moral attributes) to be my wife.

311AliciaThen let it be so, friend.

312SalewareIn truth*n1426 ] Intruth it shall, and I am very much taken with it. Friend, I have found a customer today that will take off†gs160 take off: take away (off my hands) my rich parcel of broad bed-lace that my Lord Paylate bespoke†gs161 order, ask for (goods). and left on my hands for lack of money.

313AliciaI have sold it already, friend, with other laces at a good rate.

314SalewareAnd all for ready money†gg1245 cash , friend?

315AliciaYes, friend, a hundred pounds and somewhat more.

316SalewareWho would be, or who could live, without such a friend in such a shop? This money comes so pat†gg1246 readily, opportunely for a present occasion to stop a gap. It has stopped a gap already, friend.*n1247 Saleware presumably refers to the money filling a financially lean patch, however there is also a sexual pun (albeit unintended), since 'gap' can refer to 'vagina', and Alicia has traded money for sex with Lord Thrivewell. Handwriting in the margin of the 1653 British Library copy (161.a.18) suggests moving this line and allocating it to Alicia instead of Saleware. It appears to fit logically in both places; there is not enough reason to move it from its current location. Perhaps the comedy is heightened by being spoken by Saleware.

317AliciaI have disposed of the money, the odd hundred pound for apparel, friend, and other accommodations†gg1247 items that supply a want; necessaries for adapting to or suiting a purpose (OED 6a and 1a) for myself.

318SalewareNever the sooner for a hasty word, I hope, friend.

319AliciaI have done it, friend, whereby to appear more courtly and ladylike, as you say, to gain you more custom to your shop.

320SalewareUch†gg1248 inarticulate noise expressing disgust or disbelief (comparable with the Scottish 'och') , friend — is it so?

321AliciaAnd, friend, you must not be angry or think much of it if you respect your profit, friend.

322SalewareI were no friend but a wretch if I would. No, let it go, friend, and— Sapientia mea mihi*n157 'My wisdom to me, your folly to you' (Horace, Oxford Dictionary of Quotations). is my word†gs162 a saying or proverb (OED 10b); motto — I must not grudge†gg1249 (v) grumble, complain at my friend in anything.

323AliciaThen, friend, let your shop be your own care for the rest of this day; I have some business*n1415 Could also include the sexual sense. abroad.

324SalewareWhither, sweet friend?

325AliciaIs that a friendly question?

326SalewareI am corrected, friend; but will you not take a man†gg953 manservant to wait†gs155 tend (upon someone); accompany as a servant upon you?

327AliciaTo watch me, shall I? And give you account of my actions? Was that spoke like a friend?

328SalewareI am again corrected, friend. Do your own pleasure.†gs60 supported, either through martial support (as in the tournaments on Eulalia’s marriage to the King) or in sexual intercourse You’ll return to supper?

329AliciaYet again?

330SalewareAnd again I am corrected, friend.

331AliciaNeither to supper, nor to bed perhaps.

332SalewareNever the sooner for a hasty word, I hope.

333AliciaBut if I chance to stay†gs163 stay out (at night) , you cannot be a faithful friend and ask me where, or in what company; friendship, you know, allows all liberty.Exit.

335CarelessDoes not the world come finely on, Wat, ha? And have not we convenient comings in†gg1252 income (OED, coming, vbl. n1. 7c) already, ha!   Show[s] gold.   

336WatBetter than we know how to have paid, for that’s*n1416 Parra emends to: 'paid for; that's'; this edition retains the original text's punctuation. the glory on’t.†gg776 of it

337CarelessI need no more ensconcing†gg1253 hiding, concealing (see OED, ensconce, v. where Mad Couple is cited as an example of the verbal noun) now in Ram Alley, nor the sanctuary of Whitefriars*n1575 The site of the church of the White Friars, or Carmelites, which was pulled down at the dissolution of the monasteries. However, the area still claimed the privilege of sanctuary and attracted law-breakers like Careless until the right was repealed at the end of the 17thc. , the forts of Fuller’s Rents*n1576 Another place of sanctuary for debtors situated 'opposite the end of Chancery Lane, leading from Holborn into Gray's Inn walks', and mainly full of drinking establishments. Sugden notes the name should properly be 'Fulwood's Rents'. Presumably Careless describes it as a fort as it affords some protection to him against the onslaught of creditors who are after him. See also Bumpsey in The Demoiselle [DM 1.2.speech124]. and Milford Lane*n1577 A lane with a bad reputation, opposite St Clement Danes, running off the Strand to the south (also referred to in The Demoiselle [DM 1.2.speech124]. , whose walls are daily battered with the curses of bawling creditors. My debts are paid, and here’s a stock remaining of gold, pure gold; hark how sweetly it chinks†gg1254 (v) (of coins or glasses) make a ringing sound (OED v3), i.e. sounds .   CARELESS seals his letters.   

338WatYes, and ’twill ring the changes*n1270 i.e. we shall repeat the process (see OED, change n. 8c). However there is also a pun on 'ring' as an echo of 'chinks', that is, the sound made by the coins against one another, and perhaps also a suggestion that this purse heralds (rings) new developments (changes) in Careless's fortune, now that he is back in his uncle's favour and financially advantaged. shortly.

339CarelessFor necessaries†gg1257 essential items , Wat, for necessaries it shall change†gg203 (v) exchange , and ring all out, and ’twill so long as I have an uncle, and

340WatFor necessaries, sir; but you must not now count sack†gg483 white wine from Spain: sack is derived from 'sec', and usually meant a dry white wine; hence Falstaff's enjoyment of 'sack and sugar' and tobacco, whores and fiddlers in abundance “necessaries”.

341CarelessWhy, pray?

342WatBecause you’ll have but little then for extraordinaries†gg1264 extra payments (OED a. adv. and n. C.1c) , that is to say, in a gentleman, for charitable and pious works and uses.

343CarelessThe fellow’s spoiled†gg1266 (of persons) defective, impaired; overindulged (OED 3a and 4) .*n1283 Although indirect speech, Careless doesn't appear to make much effort to hide his comment from Wat.

344WatNot spoiled neither: for I would but waive*n1427 ] wave (emended following Parra) †gg1267 abandon your purpose of flying at all new game, and neglect*n1428 Parra emends to 'neglecting'. your poor whore, who now begins to be so violent for wrongs she can no longer bear, that she intends to pursue you with her complaints hither†gg1268 here (to this place) to your uncle’s house.

345CarelessMy uncle’s house? My house! Is not the first morning’s draught†gg1013 a quantity of liquid to be consumed, often in a single mouthful mine?

346WatWith great reason, for you are first dry†gg1270 thirsty in the morning.

347CarelessIs not the question first asked me, ‘What will you have to breakfast? What will please you for dinner, and what for supper?’ Has not my uncle let out monies, and taken bonds and mortgages in my name? Do not his tenants crouch†gg1272 bow, bend humbly, stoop to me, and his servants all call me young master? And does not my uncle take care to marry me to ten thousand pound and a thing like a wife?

348WatYou have got a brave possession here, I must needs say; and I applaud your fortune most in this, that your young aunt, the noble lady here, who you see*n1418 This edition follows the original printed text; Spove emends to 'so', while Parra removes it altogether. feared would prove a cruel stepdame†gg1273 stepmother to you, appears to be more friend to you than your uncle. ’Tis a most gracious sunshine†gg1275 favourable influence in her.

349CarelessShe shall lose nothing by’t. I have thought a way to requite her.

350WatBut sir, for Mistress Phoebe, will you take no order†gs165 course of action (OED n. 13a) for the poor soul?

351CarelessI do not like your zealous solicitation, but here’s an order for her, in answer of her malapert†gg1276 impudent, saucy letter you brought me last night.   [Hands WAT a letter and money.]   Give it her, and these five pieces†gg80 of gold or silver, i.e. money (OED n. 1b) , upon condition that she never come, write, or send to me again, till I send to her.

352WatThat’s somewhat hard, sir.

353CarelessNay, look you†gg1277 mind this (OED look v. 4a) , Wat, you are a little mistaken in me. I must give over†gg396 finish, give up, i.e. stop (OED, give, v. 63) whoring, for special causes*n1289 Possibly indicating the letters. there unto me moving.

354WatOh, now I find†gg1278 discover, understand you. And ’twere richly worth your patience if you could win the widow by’t, for whom you stood in fair election†gg828 choice, preference once, until your last debauchment.

355CarelessI shall stand fairer for her, sir, when I leave working but a week or two,*n1419 Careless puns on Wat's words, implying that once he has stopped having sex with Phoebe ('working') he will be better able to impress Crostill in general terms and sexually ('stand fairer': maintain a better erection). shall I not?

356WatYes, if you leave it quite†gg1279 completely, totally . But to forsake†gg1280 give up, renounce her whom you have brought low, to fall to†gg1281 start upon; attach (oneself) to (OED v. 100c and 67a) others, were such a thing—

357CarelessWell, sir, it may be I will, it may be I won’t: what’s that to you? Carry you the letter and the money, and try how that will work with her.

358WatI’ll do my best, but if she should exclaim and bring on her cousin, Master Saleware, to be clamorous —

359CarelessHer cousin’s a cuckold. Exclaim and clamorous! Give me my money again.

360WatNay, I am gone, sir.Exit.

361Careless   [Aside]   The rogue’s in faction†gg1282 (in) league (with) with ’em.   [Aloud]   Oh noble Master Saveall, you have most fairly kept your minute with me. I have written my letter, sealed it and all, here to the widow.

362SaveallSo early? That is well.

363CarelessI have written no less than six large epistles this morning, and sent ’em now by my man to be conveyed into the country to lords and knights, with all the news spiritual and temporal, foreign and domestic, that could possibly fall into a private gentleman’s collection.

364SaveallIs it possible?

365CarelessWith such dexterity that if I would make a trade on’t, I could undo all the newsmongers*n3778 Factual news and gossip was frequently circulated in taverns and ordinaries in London, in addition to which, English newspapers had begun publications in the 1620s. in town that live by’t.

366SaveallIt is a most commendable practice in a gentleman, and it will mature your judgement in both the*n1429 ] the both (emended following Parra) commonwealth and state affairs, and in short time invite you unto the chair or helm*n1430 ] chaire of Helme (emendation follows Parra). The italicisation of 'Helme' suggests a proper name, but no reference to the 'chair of Helme' has been found, so this edition follows Parra's decision to emend on the grounds that is likely to be a compositorial error. .

367CarelessWhen I am once married and settled, you shall see.   [Aside]   What an ass ’tis; he believes me.

368SaveallHow am I comforted in my meditation for you, and how overjoyed will your uncle be at the use you make of your retirements!†gg1286 withdrawal from activity

369CarelessI confess it is (by reason of my unwontedness†gg1287 being unaccustomed to it) some difficulty for me to write to women; wherefore, since you have so nobly undertaken the conveyance of this, let me beseech you to apologize for the rudeness†gg1753 roughness; imperfection of my style.

370Saveall   [He reads]   “To the fair hands of the most accomplished in virtue, Mistress Anne Crostill, present, I pray, with my service”. The outside hath no rudeness on it, and (I doubt it not) she shall find within all sweetness and urbanity.†gg1288 civility

371CarelessAs you may interpret it to her, sir.

372SaveallSir, what I have already said, and do intend to say unto her from your*n1431 Parra emends to 'her', but this appears to be a mistake, since Saveall must be referring to Lord Thrivewell, Careless's uncle, not Mistress Crostill's. uncle and myself on your behalf, together with what you have here written, shall (I doubt it not) prepare so fair a way of proceeding for you that at your visit of her you may say, veni, vidi, vici,*n1293 'I came, I saw, I conquered' (Latin); Julius Caesar, 'according to Suetonius Lives of the Caesars ‘Divus Julius’ sect. 37; or, according to Plutarch Parallel Lives ‘Julius Caesar’ ch. 50, sect. 2' (Oxford Dictionary of Quotations). she is your own.

373CarelessAnd then — aha, Master Saveall!

374SaveallExpect your fortune modestly, and when it comes, embrace it with discretion.

375CarelessSir, I am edified.†gg1289 (of persons) morally instruct, strengthen

376SaveallIt is well if you be so; I will put my undertaking in action presently. Pray for my good success.[Exit.]

377CarelessI dare not tell him now I cannot; but I wish well for the money’s sake; and let the vintners pray, and all the decayed†gg84 fallen into ruin through loss of prosperity, health, or fortune; impaired, or reduced in quality or condition (OED 1) sparks†gg1290 young foppish man (gallant) (OED n2. 2a) about the town, whom I will raise out of ashes into flame again. Let them pray for my good works*n1432 ] wokes (emended following Parra) .

   [Aside]   Oh, my young lady aunt’s grave waiting-woman. If she were not hers, and out of this house, I should take her for a bawd†gg356 procurer, go-between now. But being hers, and here, how much may I mistake? All flesh is frail.*n1294 Careless seems to be excusing his own actions, whilst also expressing the hope that his aunt might be persuaded by his advances; proverbial (Tilley, F363). The frailty of women in particular is referenced by Hamlet (1.2.146) and Isabella (Measure for Measure 2.4.124-130). (Ecclesiastes 8.5).

378Closet*n1434 ] Nur. All speech prefixes 'Nur.' for 'Nurse' have been regularised to 'Closet' for clarity. Not to disturb your morning meditations, my lady has sent you —

379CarelessAnd you have brought me — what, sweet Mistress Closet?

380ClosetA part of her ladyship’s own breakfast: it is very cordial†gg1292 invigorating, hearty and comfortable†gg1291 strengthening, cheering (morally and physically) to the spirits, I assure you, and delectable to the younger sort, and profitable to the old.

381CarelessOne of Robert Greene’s works*n3694 Perhaps because Greene was notorious for writing his cony-catching pamphlets which tell of various methods of tricking and cheating popular particularly in urban areas such as London. It is implied that Careless identifies with the characters in the pamphlets, possibly using them as a source for ideas, but certainly as being 'delectable to the younger sort'. , or the mad doctor that preaches*n3695 This edition has been unable to identify the 'mad doctor'. boiled in’t, I think.

382Closet’Tis a composition of mine own, sir, of many excellent decoctions†gg1293 'liquor in which a substance, usually animal or vegetable, has been boiled, and in which the principles thus extracted are dissolved; specifically as a medicinal agent' (OED 4) , of most wholesome, restorative, and costly ingredients*n3582 The pandaress, Maquerelle, in Marston's The Malcontent brings a restorative posset onto the stage in 2.4. She describes the ingredients as follows: 'seaven and thirty yowlks of Barbarie hennes eggs, eighteene spoonfulles and a halfe of the joice of cocksparrowe bones, one ounce, three drams, foure scruples, and one quarter of the Sirrop of Ethiopian Dates, sweetned with three quarters of a pound of pure Candid Indian eringos, strow'd over with the powder of Pearle of America, Amber of Cataia, and Lambe stones of Muscovia.' This posset is designed to augment beauty and amplifiy wit, according to Maquerelle. .

383CarelessThat it was sent by her makes it more excellent, whose bounteous care of me I must acknowledge exceeds all cost in carving to†gg1294 helping to serve (someone) at a meal (OED, carve, v. 8a) me and countenancing†gg1295 favouring, sanctioning me at her table, in gracing†gg290 (v) show favour to; confer honours on me in presence of the ladies that come to visit her, in giving charge for decency in all things for my chamber, my fires shining†gg1296 (of fire) emitting light (OED, shine, v. 1a) , my odours†gg1297 substance emitting a sweet smell (OED 2) burning, my livery†gs168 allowance of food or clothing (MCWM). served in, my soft and costly bed prepared and spread with perfumed linen. Here’s ambergris†gg1299 expensive secretion from the sperm-whale used in cookery and perfumery in this now —

384ClosetOh, is it so? Do you find that?

385CarelessBut though she is my own uncle’s wife, I could e’en say ’tis pity a young man had her not.

386Closet   [Aside]   What a wag’s†gg1300 mischievous boy; fellow; joker this?

387CarelessShe is a most sweet lady.

388ClosetShe is a sweet lady, indeed; I can best speak it that have known her from the womb hitherto†gg1301 until now . A sweet infant she was born, and a sweet babe I swaddled it, and a sweet child I nursed it; I trained it up a sweet child. It was in manners a sweet child, at her book and sampler*n1295 ] Sample †gg1302 girl's specimen of embroidery (OED n1. 3b) a sweet child. I never whipped it but once, and then it was sweet too, and sprawled but a little, and whimpered but a little, it was so sweet a child. And so she grew upwards†gg1304 elevated (in height) and upwards towards woman†gg1303 womanhood , and a sweet youngling she was, and so grew upwards and upwards†gs169 facing upwards, lying on one's back (OED, upward, C. 1) towards man, and then a sweet bride she was, and now a most sweet lady she is (as you say, and I commend you for it). And so she stands at a stay†gs170 standstill, stop . For now she grows no more upwards than upon her wedding-day, not upwards†gs171 (grow) upwards: swelling of the belly in pregnancy as I would have her upwards: here I mean, young gentleman*n1296 ] Gentlemen (Closet is referring to Careless rather than other plural young men). , could I but see a sweet babe of hers once by my master, I could be then content to sleep with my ancestors.*n1297 i.e. die.

389Careless   [Aside]   I had rather see your gibship†gg1305 (personality of a) cat hanged up with polecats in a warren, and your sweet lady with you, though I confess that were some pity.   [Aloud]   I hope her barrenness, or his, will preserve her from my curse.

390ClosetI hope still, and she hopes still; and I make him of this broth for every morning, and many other good strengthening things (I cannot say for the same purpose), for I shall never see him have an heir by her.

391CarelessExcellent! That’s best of all.

392ClosetBecause you then are heir, say you so? Is that your love to your aunt?

393CarelessNo, I protest, Nurse, I meant by the broth — the bottom*n1298 i.e. bottom of the cup. Also possible pun on 'bottom' as 'rear'. was the best of all.

394ClosetThen I cry mercy.

395CarelessCannot all thy art and her cost find help for my uncle, think’st thou, to get a child?

396ClosetHelp? What d’ye mean? He might have help and helps enough, were she not too virtuous.

397CarelessStill thou mistak’st me, Nurse.

398ClosetAway, wag, away. Your aunt loves you too well to think so of her.

399CarelessNurse, as I hope to inherit anything hereafter —

400ClosetI should but serve you well to tell her your good thought of her.

401CarelessNurse, by this good ... piece†gs166 coin (possibly a Charles I sovereign worth 20 shillings) *n1435 The pause possibly signifies some action, e.g. Careless rummaging in his purse and pulling out a coin. The comedy could be heightened if Careless keeps his purse within his breeches, so that he fumble inside and pulls out a coin or 'piece', which also puns on 'penis'. The pause would augment the visual and aural comedy. I think no harm.

402ClosetNay, nay.

403CarelessTake it, I say. And tell her, if thou wilt, that I love her so well, that were she not mine uncle’s wife, I would get†gg726 beget; gain her an heir myself rather than be his.

404ClosetKind young master, now I am heartily sorry that I moved†gg1163 provoked, disturbed you.

405CarelessAnd for my uncle, were I his heir apparent†gg1309 'The heir (of one still alive) whose right is indefeasible, provided he outlives his ancestor, at whose death he is heir-at-law' (OED). As opposed to 'heir presumptive': 'he who, if the ancestor should die immediately, would be his heir, but whose right of inheritance may be defeated by the contingency of some nearer heir being born' (OED, heir, n. 1b). , I rather wish he might live till all this world were weary of him, and the next afraid to take him, than I survive him.   [Aside]   Tongue*n1436 ] Tonuge , a pox punish you for lying.   [Aloud]   Now I live well and merrily, good Nurse, wealth and estates bring cares and troubles with ’em. Were all young heirs of my contented mind, parents and patrons would be better prayed for.

406ClosetGood gentleman.

407Lady   LADY within   Nurse Closet! Closet!*n1437 The compositor appears confused as to what is happening at this point, initially thinking that 'Nurse' is a speech prefix. However it makes more sense for these lines to be spoken or shouted from offstage by Lady Thrivewell. It is suggested that there might have been some confusion in Brome's manuscript in terms of layout or revision.

408ClosetOh, my lady calls.

409CarelessPresent my thanks and best respects unto her.

410ClosetI should ha’ told you first — I ha’ forgot. My head is naught†gg1310 worthless, nothing, useless (OED adj. C1a) .

411CarelessWhat member†gg1311 part of the body; penis hast thou good then?

412ClosetMy lady desires you — this talk has put me out†gg22 to forget one's lines (or words); for further examples of this usage, see also Moth, 'They do not mark me, and that brings me out' (Love’s Labour’s Lost, 5.2.172); and Coriolanus, 5.3.40-2, 'Like a dull actor now/ I have forgot my part, and I am out/ Even to a full disgrace.' — oh, this head! My lady desires you —

413CarelessDesires she me, Nurse?

414ClosetYes, sir, she desires you —

415CarelessRefuse me if I desire not her as much, for all she is my uncle’s leavings.

416ClosetMy lady desires you —

417CarelessAnd she shall have me, Nurse, — an*n1438 ] And †gg1312 if she were ten uncles’ wives, and she ten of mine aunts.

418ClosetOh, this head! Nay, now you will not hear me. She desires you to go abroad†gg896 out and about in the coach with her.

419CarelessAny whither†gg1313 (to whatever) place; where *n1310 As well as meaning 'anywhere', also a pun on 'with her'. : to Islington*n1578 A popular place for outings with London's citizens. Situated to the north of the city, beyond Clerkenwell, Islington was still a village until the 19thc, and provided its visitors with cream from local dairies among other tasty treats. , Newington*n1579 London suburb, south of Southwark; another favourite destination for citizens on excursions from London. , Paddington*n1580 Small village west of the city, from which water was supplied from several springs to supply London. Careless's suggestion is echoed by Valentine in The New Academy [NA 2.1.speech273]. , Kensington*n1581 Another popular destination for a country excursion, Kensington was a village to the west of Hyde Park. See also The New Academy [NA 2.1.speech273] and Deloney's The Gentle Craft 2.2: 'they went to Kensington, where they brake their fast, and had good sport by tumbling on the greene grasse'. , or any of the city outleaps†gg1314 destination of excursions; places of assignation (I know ’em all) for a spurt†gg1318 short period of time and back again. Tell her I am up*n1316 'Awake', but also pun on 'erect'. and ready for her, and could ha’ been without her stirrup porridge†gg1319 cup of drink (breakfast broth) just before leaving on horseback for a journey (see OED, stirrup-cup) , though I thank her for her care. A man cannot be too well prepared or provided for so sweet a lady in so much distress. A very Andromeda, chained to a rock.   Takes up his cloak and sword.   

420ClosetWhat’s this you say? I understand no word of it. I would take your answer right, though I faltered in my lady’s message.

421Careless   [Aside]   The devil’s in this overrunning tongue of mine; I could find in my heart to worm him out with my teeth.

422ClosetWhat must I tell my lady, sir?

423CarelessThat I am more obliged to her ladyship than I was to my mother: she has brought me a new man into the world, and that my being and my life is hers.

424Lady   [Aside]   I hope he’s a true convertite†gg1320 one reformed, converted to an approved way of life .   [Aloud]   Did I send you to hold discourse here, Closet?

425ClosetNor did I, madam; but I could hear this gentleman a whole day, methinks. He speaks so acknowledgingly†gg1323 forcibly, violently; by force or threat of force of your ladyship’s virtue and goodness towards him.

426LadyI am beholding to him. Will you go with me, nephew, to the Exchange? I am to buy some toys†gs1856 trinket, plaything or entertainment there for the country. You may get a fancy†gg1018 fantasies, caprices, toys by’t.

427Careless   [Aside]   Good, I must wear her favours†gs136 token given as a mark of favour .

428LadyOr cannot you forbear your study so long?

429Careless   [Aloud]   To do you service, madam, under whose commands I build my happiness.

430LadyBe not at the distance of compliment with me, good nephew.

431CarelessI would not be thought insolent, dear madam.

432LadyCome, the coachman grumbles at my stay, and ’twill be dinner-time presently, so the cook will be angry too.

433CarelessYou are all tenderness to your servants, madam.Exit[s with LADY Thrivewell].

434ClosetA sweet gentleman, and bountiful. If my lady had been blessed with such a husband, what a place†gg571 rank, position, office had I had!Ex[it]*n1439 ] Exeunt Omnes. It seems clear that Lady Thrivewell and Careless leave Closet onstage alone for her final line, hence the alteration. .