ACT THREE
3.1*
[Outside MATCHIL’s house]*
Enter MATCHIL, RACHEL, between [them to separate them]* ERASMUS and VALENTINE

504ErasmusGood Master Matchil.

505ValentineMistress, be not so violent.


507MatchilI’ll rather run my country*, gentlemen, than
        endure her.

508RachelYou* were best to kill her, then, and then you’ll have no other course to take, unless you stay and be hanged.

509MatchilI’ll make thee glad to fly* first.

510RachelFrom my house and husband, shall I? From my possessions, shall I? And leave you all to spend in riot, shall I? No, sir, I’ll stay and spend my share if you go to that, that will I. And make all fly* as well as you, and you go to that, that will I, ha.

511MatchilWhoop, whow.*

512ErasmusNay, fie, be not so loud*.

513MatchilWhat didst thou bring, thou drudge thou?

514RachelThat which you were content to drudge withal, I am too sure o’that. The drudge you speak of is no worse than your own wife, I am too sure o’ that.

515MatchilI know not what to say to her.*

516RachelDid you not say for better, for worse? And if ’twere worse than ’tis, ’twere all too good for you. And that I hope I shall find some good friend to know*.

517Valentine   [Aside]   That I like well, I’ll be her first man*.

518RachelI trust you have found the drudge to be a woman fit to content a man, and if you grant not that, some better man perhaps shall be a judge, betwixt you and the drudge.

519Valentine   [Aside]   Better still.

520MatchilShe threatens horns*, I think.

521RachelHorns, I think you said. If ’twere so, ’twere too good for you. Cannot your own wife content you, ha?

522Valentine   [Aside]   She holds up that point stoutly.*

523RachelThat shall be tried.

524MatchilO for an expert surgeon* now to cast her in a deep sleep, and geld her.*

525ErasmusIn troth you will be both sorry, when your passion gives but least way to your understandings. Master Matchil, let me persuade with you.

526MatchilNever, unless you bring her on her knees, to crave forgiveness at my foot.*

527Valentine   [Aside to RACHEL]   If you but yield an inch, he treads upon your neck. I will not give an under spur-leather* for you. But bear it out bravely, and I’ll be your servant.

528ErasmusMistress Matchil.

529RachelMistress Match-ill indeed, to be so matched.

530MatchilSo matched! How matched? What, from the hurden smock with lockram upper-bodies, and hempen sheets, to wear and sleep in Holland, and from the dripping-pan to eat in silver, ha? Do you repine at your match, ha? Is wealth contemptible to you?

531RachelI was better content in my poverty. I have not been myself, gentlemen, since he married me.

532MatchilYou may be poor again as soon as you please, the door is open, depart at your pleasure; you know the way to your old aunt the apple-woman, at Hockleyhole*. Take your knitting needles again, and live with her, go.

533RachelNo, sir, I’ll stay with you, and make you as poor before I have done wi’ ye, as I was before you had me gent. I shall not be myself till then.

534MatchilThe devil you shall. Was ever such a crooked condition crept into a thing like woman?*

535ValentineYet this, sir, is the rare piece of obedience
        You boasted of, and said you would defy
        The devil to dishonest her. I am sorry
        Your judgement led you into such an error.
        Already she’s my mistress.

536MatchilIs she so?

537RachelYes, and I’ll call him servant*; gentlewomen use it.

538ValentineDo so, mistress.

539MatchilIf she, sir, be your mistress, then am I
        Your master-in-law. Out of my house, I charge you.

540Erasmus   [To VALENTINE]   Dost thou conspire to grieve him?

541ValentineTroth, sir, I did but jest. You have my pity.

542ErasmusAll are not times for jest, friend Valentine.

543MatchilO my affliction![RACHEL] looks in her watch*.

544ErasmusHave a little patience, sir,
        While I talk calmly with her.

545MatchilLeave me then
        A while unto my thoughts. Go into the house.

546Rachel   [RACHEL holds up a pocket-watch]   Pray, servant, help me here a little. Do so much
        As wind up my jack for me*, my watch I would say.

547Valentine   [Aside]   Her jack! She’s in the kitchen still.
           [Aloud to RACHEL]   A pretty watch this, mistress, what did you pay for ’t?

548RachelNothing, my husband ga’t me.

549Valentine Pity the spring is broke, but I can get it mended.*

550RachelGood servant, take it with you then to the jackmakers, I would say, the watchmakers. Come, gentlemen, shall we have a crash at cards*?

551ErasmusWith all my heart. What is your game?

552RachelI can play a-many old games. One and thirty bone-ace*, tickle me quickly*, and my lady's hole*, and sichie*. But you shall teach me new ones, though I lose money for my learning: gleek and primero, gresco saut, primofistula, I know all by hear-say. Come, let us have a bout at somewhat. I have money enough.

553Valentine   [Aside]   And I’ll make shift to ease you of some on’t.Exit [RACHEL, ERASMUS, and VALENTINE]*

554MatchilAffliction on affliction hourly finds me,
        And lays me on the rack, tearing my heart*
        Like greedy vultures. O my heart! This heart
        That I so long supposed impenetrable
        By all the darts of sorrow, is now transfixed,
        Shot through and through with torments, and by this,
        This last made sensible of all the rest.
        My son’s untimely death, my daughter’s loss.
        My sister’s follies, and my brother’s vices,
        My servant’s falsehood, and the jeers of strangers
        Now wound me all at once; and all through this
        Predominant blow, pulled on me by mine own
        Impetuous rashness. Let me here consider,
        While my heart’s torture keeps my soul awake,
        The moving cause* of all these ill effects,
        Mine own unbridled wild affections,
        Scorn of example, and contempt of counsel.
        I cannot but observe withal, how just
        A judgement follows mine own wilful acts,
        In the same kind, of doing ills for ills.*
        For my lost son, I rashly wrought revenge
        Upon an innocent girl; and with her
        Have lost mine own; and for th’unmanly joy
        I took in one wife’s death, because a shrew –
        Though otherwise virtuous – I am in another
        Trebly tormented; not alone with noise*,
        But with a fear of unchaste purposes,
        Which if they come to act, my purse must pay for.*
        I see my faults, and feel the punishments.*
        And, rather than stand out in my defence,
        T’enjoy some peace I will endure some sorrow,
        And bear it civilly.   [Calls offstage]   Within there.
Enter SERVANT


556MatchilGo call your mistress, pray her to come alone.Exit SERVANT
        My resolution brings me yet some ease:
        Men that are born to serve, must seek to please.
Enter RACHEL

557MatchilRachel.

558RachelYour pleasure quickly, I have left
        My company, my servant, and my friend yond,
Sawing against one another at Corn the Caster*, till I come to ’em.

559MatchilAnd then all three to in and in*, is’t so?

560RachelMy servant, and my friend and I are e’en all one.
        They are the goodest gentlemen, the best company.

561MatchilYour servant and your friend.

562RachelYes, and my servant plays for me now in my
        Absence, as far as ten pieces go that I left him.
        My plough goes there*, though I am here.

563Matchil Your plough makes vile baulks of my money the while.

564RachelI am not so ill a housewife* as you imagine. And my friend and my servant have promised to carry me abroad, to this town, and to that town, and tother town, and – wow!* – I know not whither. And my servant will have me to Hyde Park*, he says, to see and to show all*, as well as the brave gallants.

565MatchilThis is gallant indeed.

566RachelAnd my friend will carry me to a whatdeecall, a new Academy*, where I shall see the rarest music and dancing, he says, and learn the finest compliments, and other courtly qualities that are to be had for money, and such instructions for the newest fashions.

567Matchil   [Aside]   She will fly to the devil for fashion’s sake.   [Aloud]   Pray stay a little, and let me talk calmly with you. You have almost broke my heart.

568RachelBut not altogether, I hope. I would not win so great a game, without some sport in playing it.

569MatchilHear me.
        I know you put on this affected carriage,
        But to try mastery*, and the disease
        Being so general among all women,
        Is in you therefore more excusable.

570RachelO, are you coming?*

571MatchilHear what I say to you,
        And find in that a husband’s good affection.
        I love my peace, and would preserve my honour,
        Both which are in your breasts to save or spoil.

572RachelAnd can you think the way to purchase peace
        Is by a war with me? Ha, you are cozened.
        Do you think your domineering looks, or noise,
        Or blows, can fright me into quietness,
        Or that you shall have honour by abasing
        Your wife?

573MatchilYou will not understand me.


575MatchilThough I love peace, and would preserve my honour,
        I’ll yield in both to you, and can – I have been
        So used to thraldom. But the world, the world
        Is such a talker –

576RachelI have found the man.*

577MatchilThere I would save a reputation*.

578Rachel   [Aside]   He’s loth to bring it out.   [Aloud]   I’ll close w’ye.
        You’ll be content, so I will suffer you
        To bear a loud command o’er me in public,
        That I shall carry it in private. Is’t not so?

579MatchilTruly, wife, yes.

580RachelYou’ll give me leave to beat you
        In private then?

581MatchilNay, we’ll bar blows at all times.

582RachelBut if I chance to give you a rap or two,
        Or now and then a nip, and you strike me*
        Again, I’ll strike you some way else, as you
        Would not be struck. And so observe my carriage.
        The gentlemen are coming.
Enter ERASMUS and VALENTINE

583ErasmusO, here they are.

584ValentineAnd not by the ears: that’s wonderful.

585RachelSir, I perceive my error, and repent it.
        Promising you in all my after life,
        To be a faithful and obedient wife.

586ValentineHe has fetched her about, it seems.

587MatchilGrammercy, Rachel, bind it with a kiss*.
[MATCHIL and RACHEL] kiss

588ErasmusAnd thus it should be.

589MatchilGentlemen, have ye found us?

590ErasmusWith joy to see this reconciliation.

591Matchil   [Aside to ERASMUS and VALENTINE]   Thus shall ye see it ever, gentlemen.
        I knew she would yield, or I should make her heartache.
        What were a husband, if he were not master?

592ValentineYou have won the field, it seems, yet I may hope
        I have not lost a mistress.

593ErasmusNor I a friend.

594MatchilIn a fair way, gentlemen, I shall
        Abridge her of no courtly privilege.
        But no more haytie twaytie tricks, I charge you.
        She shall not jaunt to this nor that town with you –
        I thank you for your care – nor to Hyde Park.
        Nor to the Academy you tell her of,
        Without my leave.

595ValentineAnd do you say so, mistress?

596RachelTruly, yes.
        I am no such woman as you took me for.
        With Master Matchil’s leave you may be welcome
        Home to his house in good and seemly sort.
        But pray expect no further entertainment
        Than he shall well allow of.

597ValentineI have lost her.

598ErasmusThis change is admirable.

599MatchilWhy do you admire it?
        Is she not mine? How could you think she durst
        Stand out in her rebellion? Although the devil*,
        Who sooths all upstart’s dispositions
        Into an over-weening of themselves,
        Possessed her for a time, had not I power*
        And virtue, do you think, to conjure him out*?
        What have I studied for, think you, e’er since
        My last wife died, but how to rule the next?
        Go get you in, there’s something in the house
        Worth looking after.

600ErasmusI be sworn, he frights her.

601Rachel   [Aside]   Would I had you within to perform covenants.*

602MatchilWhat, do you grow rebellious again?
        Why stir you not else, ha?   [Aside to RACHEL]   Prithee, sweetheart,
        Respect my dignity, or seem to do it.

603Rachel   [Aside to MATCHIL]   Yes, I will only seem to do it.

604ValentineHe makes her tremble.

605RachelGentlemen, I must about my house-affairs.
        So, I take my leave.

606Erasmus and ValentineGood Mistress Matchil.
[RACHEL curtseys and secretly pinches MATCHIL]*


608RachelAnd Master Matchil, at your own good pleasure,
        Having in private something to impart to you,
        I would entreat your presence.

609MatchilWell, anon, anon.

610RachelYour ear before I go, good Master Matchil.
[RACHEL curtseys and secretly pinches MATCHIL]*

611ValentineH’has brought her to her servile old obedience.

612MatchilO – oh!

613Rachel   [Aside to MATCHIL]   That is a private touch, sir, of the business.[RACHEL pinches MATCHIL]

614Matchil   [Aside to RACHEL]   Pox of your lobster-claws*. There waanip*!

615RachelIt will be worth consideration, sir.

616MatchilWell, I’ll come to you presently.

617RachelI humbly take my leave.Exit RACHEL

618ErasmusAny ill news that you change colour so?

619MatchilNo, nothing, nothing but a womanish fear*.

620ValentineWell, you are a happy man that have o’ercome
        her.

621MatchilYou know not me yet, gentlemen; I knew*
        A word in private would do it.

622ValentineYet she desires to have you again in private.

623Matchil’Tis her abundant love, and pure obedience.

624ErasmusShe comes again.
Enter RACHEL

625RachelSince y’are not disposed to enter, sir,
        One word more, Master Matchil, if you please.[RACHEL curtseys]*

626MatchilOh – I understand you. Go, I’ll follow
        you.

627RachelAgain I take my leave.Exit RACHEL

628Matchil   [Aside]   I must wear lantern-horns* upon mine arms,
        If she use this.   [Aloud]   Well, gentlemen, at your own time
        Let’s see yee. My Rach. shall make you welcome.
        And for me, you know me, I will still be master –
Enter RACHEL
        I come, I come, I come. So, farewell gentlemen.Exit [MATCHIL and RACHEL]

629ValentineHa, do you run?

630ErasmusWhat dost thou think of this?

631ValentineI’ll lay all the tricks I have against his brags,
        She masters him in private, and that all
        This show of her obedience is dissembled.
        My hope revives again; we must abroad with her.
        But tell me, what new Academy’s that
        You told her of? I understand not that yet.

632ErasmusNor have I seen it, but we both will shortly.
        ’Tis but of two or three day’s standing yet.

633ValentineWhere is it?* Who are the professors,
        And what the arts?

634ErasmusI’ll tell thee all I know.
        It carries a love-sound*; but I am told
        It is but private lodgings kept by
        Both men and women, as I am informed,
        After the French manner, that profess
        Music, dancing, fashion, compliment –

635ValentineAnd no drabbing?*

636ErasmusA little perhaps in private.
        But guess now in whose house all this.

637ValentineI cannot.

638ErasmusEven in your city mistress’s, that lends you
        money so freely.

639ValentineWho, Camelion?

640ErasmusYes, sir, I doubt your borrowing of the wife
        Has broke the husband, put ’em off their trade,
        And now they seek new ways to live by projects.

641ValentineAnd could you keep this from me all this while?
        Till I am there, each step’s a tedious mile.

642ErasmusBut not without me, good Val. We’ll find a time
        Together, and our Mistress Matchil with us.Exit [ERASMUS and VALENTINE]
3.2*
[Inside CAMELION’s house]*
Enter CAMELION and HANNAH

643CamelionCock, I protest, Cock, I commend thy course.
        Thou hast taken in brave lodgers, gallant guests,
        Guests o’th’ game*, Cock; and my house is counted
        A house of quality and recreation, Cock,
        In civil sort and gentle fashion, Cock,
        ’Sbobs, Cock, I know thou would’st not have it otherwise
        For all the wealth i’ th’ Exchange*.

644HannahBut, Rafe, you care not
        What people say, so I bring you in profit.

645CamelionNot I, not I, my little Cocksie, Nansie,
        Not I, pish*, Hony soit qui maly pense.

646HannahSome do not stick to say, I know what’s what,
        And that our house is no better than it should be.*

647CamelionPish, Hony soit again, i’th’ very teeth of ’em,
        Let ’em all say what they will. Dainty, come thou to me.

648HannahBut I know what I know, and that our house is
        Better than it should be, if some of them
        Had but the keeping of it, that speak so ill on’t.
        And that the gentlewomen in our house
        Are well conditioned, and as chaste as courteous.
        And if you saw, as they desire I should
        See all betwixt their great resorts and them,
        You’d be in love with their sweet way of living.
        Then for their dancing, ’tis so neat and graceful.
        See ’em anon at practice.

649CamelionNot I, Cock, I’ll see nothing.
        I will not leave one ducking pond for ten dancing schools.
        Yet I can dance, and love it, you know that, Cock.
        And though you are a gentlewoman born,*
        You took me for my legs, not for my arms.
        Is not that a good jest, Cock? ’Sbobs, ’twas out before
        I was aware. Here comes their father.
Enter STRIGOOD and CASH disguised in bravery*.

650[Hannah]It seems he has brought in some new scholar.

651StrigoodWhere are my daughters, landlady?

652HannahClose in their chamber, sir.

653StrigoodAre none of our academics come yet?

654HannahNot any, sir.

655StrigoodI look for some anon.
        Pray bid the girls come down to practice.

656HannahYes, sir.Exit HANNAH

657CamelionSir, when I was a bachelor, I practised
        Dancing sometimes.

658StrigoodIndeed, good landlord?

659CamelionAnd maugre wedlock, I have something left
        Yet in these legs, that can express at least
        Love to the quality*.

660StrigoodThat shall not be lost,
        If I can further it.

661CamelionI saw last night
        Your new French dance of three; what call you it?

662StrigoodO, the Tres-bon*.

663CamelionI think I could make one in’t.

664StrigoodThis gentleman’s another. Call the music.
        I’ll try what you can do.Exit CAMELION
        Cash, thou art welcome, I am glad I met thee.

665CashBut that you had foreknowledge of my habit,
        And seen it in my out-leaps, as you call ’em,
        I might ha’ passed*. But you, in this disguise,
        None but the devil himself that is your inmate,
        And lodges with you in it, could have known you.
        Sure he devised it.

666StrigoodNo, you are short.
        I learned it of a Jesuit*,
        And ’twas but easy: shaving of my old
        Grey hair and beard off; clapping on this perrule
        After the fashion; having but few wrinkles,
        For which I thank my bachelorship, I pass
        For a brisk youth. But for my Hannibal eye here. And by my brother’s
        Courteous advice I have ta’en a course to live
        Upon my stock of wit, sleight and activity,*
        With nimble brain, quick hands, and airy heels,
        As he told me, ha!

667Cash He could not think you would have stolen his daughter to ha’ set up withal.*

668StrigoodBut now I care not
        What the wretch thinks, so he discovers nothing.
        I dare trust thee, Cash, partly on thy oath,
        Which I have ta’en you know, but more respectively
        Upon your forty pieces* here, friend Cash,
        Which I have also ta’en; but most of all
        For that I know you dare not make discovery,
        For fear of little-ease. That were a prison
        Too fearful for such bravery to stoop into.

669CashThat keeps me still in awe. ’Tis well you know it.
        But it is better he has no suspicion
        That I am run away.
Enter CAMELION

670CamelionThe music’s ready, sir.

671StrigoodPlay then – the Tres-bon.
[STRIGOOD, CASH, and CAMELION] dance.*

672Strigood’Twas very well done, landlord. I protest
        I love your house the better for your quality.

673CamelionBut if you saw me at the ducking pond,
        Me and my trull*.

674StrigoodYour trull?

675CamelionI mean, my bitch, sir.
        O, she would ravish you.
Enter HANNAH

676StrigoodSome other time.
        Here comes your wife. The news, good landlady?

677HannahNews out of France, your fame is spread abroad.

678StrigoodHow out of France?

679HannahTwo young French gentlemen,
        New come ashore, the daintiest, sweetest gentlemen
        That e’re I saw – now you be jealous, Rafe –


681HannahAre coming to lodge here, having heard,
        It seems, that you profess French qualities,
        And instantly desire to be acquainted
        With you and your sweet company.

682StrigoodCan they speak English?

683HannahOne very well; and the tother can say
        'Tree Fransh crown for two English kiss'* already –
        Now be jealous, Rafe.

684CamelionPish, Hony soit qui maly pense.

685StrigoodYou can speak French, landlord?

686CamelionSo much as you have heard, not one word more,
        I assure you, but this: Adieu, Monsieur.
        And so I leave you.

687HannahWill you not see the gallants, Rafe?

688CamelionNot I, I won’t be jealous, Cock, and so
        By the back-door to the ducking pond I go.Exit [CAMELION]

689StrigoodEnter then. Landlady, where be these girls?

690HannahHere they are come.Exit [HANNAH]
Enter JOYCE and GABRIELLA

691StrigoodStand aside, Cash, and be not yet discovered.
[CASH stands aside, unnoticed by JOYCE and GABRIELLA]
        How, ladies, how do y’like your way of living?

692JoyceI do not like it, uncle.

693GabriellaTroth, nor I, sir.

694JoyceWe eat and lodge well; and we wear good clothes,
        And keep our credit in the house we live in;
        But what we suffer in our reputation*
        Abroad is dangerously doubtful.

695StrigoodSo, so.

696GabriellaHere we are viewed and reviewed by all comers,
        Courted and tempted too; and though we’re safe
        In our chaste thoughts, the impious world may say
        We are set out to common sale*.

697StrigoodSo, so.

698Cash   [Aside]   And so you are to th’ utmost of his power,
        I dare be sworn.

699JoyceBut, uncle, for the time that you intend
        To stay, I pray admit no new acquaintance,
        Nor any more, lest I for my escape
        Venture to leap two stories deep.

700StrigoodHa! You said?
        You know I have disclosed you to no eye
        That could take knowledge who or whence you are,
        And for the foreign strangers, and such townsfolks
        As knew us not, what need we weigh their thoughts?
        Their gold is weight; let that be all we look to,
        While our deserving arts and qualities
        Require it from ’em. If they think us wicked,
        And hope to get virginities for salary,
        And pay for their deluded hopes beforehand,
        What is our act but justice on their follies,
        In taking of their prodigal coin?*

701GabriellaI hope you deal not that way for us.

702StrigoodNever fear it.

703JoyceBut, uncle,
        Though you have taught us courtly gypsy tricks
        That somewhat trench upon our modesties,
        Pray let it not be thought we’ll sell our honesties.

704StrigoodTrust to my care.

705Cash   [Aside]   And that’s the way to do it*.

706StrigoodAnd in that care be confidently seen
        By a deserving gentleman, whom I
        Present to kiss your hands.
[STRIGOOD presents CASH]

707JoyceI will see none.

708CashYou need not fear me, lady; for I can
        But tell your father, if you slight his servant.

709GabriellaBless us! What metamophosis is this?
        ’Tis Cash, your father’s man.

710JoyceIs this the habit of a merchant’s prentice?

711CashIs this the lodging of a merchant’s daughter?

712JoyceHas his great marriage turned my father’s house
        Into a sumptuous palace, that he keeps
        Such costly men? Or doth the bravery
        Of his late beauteous bride require such gorgeous
        Attendants? Pray, what office may you fill
        About her person?

713CashWill you home and see?

714GabriellaWe are betrayed!

715StrigoodHa, ha, ha. Be not afraid of Cash.
        I know him, and he knows us. He is our friend
        And we’ll be his. As for his bravery,
        ’Tis no new thing with him. I know him of old.
        This suit’s his worst of four. And he’s one
        Of the four famous prentices* o’ th’ time.
        None of the cream and cake-boys*, nor of those
        That gall their hands with stool-balls, or their catsticks,
        For white-pots, pudding-pies, stewed prunes, and tansies,
        To feast their tits at Islington* or Hogsden*,
        But haunts the famous ordinaries o’th’ time,
        Where the best cheer, best game, best company are frequent.
        Lords call him cousin at the Bowling Green*
        And the great Tennis-Court*. Thy father’s money
        Would rust else, girl*. Keep thou our counsel, Cash,
        And we’ll keep thine, though ’t be to the undoing
        Of him and all the wretches of his brotherhood
        That love their money, and their base desires,
        Better than blood or name.

716GabriellaBut can you hold
        It good in any servant so to hazard
        His master’s livelihood?

717StrigoodCan you hold your peace?
        He’s wise, and saves by ’t all this while: he knows
        His friends are bound in full two thousand pounds,
        For’s truth, and his true service, and perhaps,
        He is not out above one thousand yet.
        Where’s your wit now?

718Cash   [Aside to JOYCE]   Mistress, I’ll do you service, and be true to you.
        I’d not have missed of this discovery –

719StrigoodYou see she hearkens to him. Talk aside, Cash,
        And touch her boldly.

720Cash   [Aside to JOYCE]   I would not have missed it,
        For all the wealth your father has: and at
        Convenient privacy I’ll give you reasons,
        That shall gain your belief to’t.
Enter PAPILLION and GALLIARD

721Strigood   [Aside]   The French Gallants,
        I had almost forgot them. They are a pair
        Of delicate young monsieurs. If they have
        But crowns enough, they are the likeliest
        Merchants for my new mart that I can choose.
        She said they can speak English, that’s a help,
        For devil of French have I to entertain ’em.[STRIGOOD] salutes [PAPILLION and GALLIARD]

722GabriellaSee, mine own heart, here’s more temptation still.

723JoyceI’ll not endure the onset.

724CashI’ll defend you.

725JoyceYet there are graces in their looks, methinks,
        That do invite my stay.

726PapillionNe comprenez-vous pas la langue française, Monsieur? Parlez.*

727StrigoodI would be glad to hear you speak the language
        I better understand, and that is English,
        In which you are most welcome.

728PapillionYour fair courtesy
        Merits our greatest thanks.

729GalliardI tanck you, sir.
        I have bid France adieu to come and learn
        De English very well; I speak a lietel,
        But de English Mesteresse can teach de best.
        I shall be glad to take my commencements,
        Or my first lessons from these ladies’ lips.[PAPILLION and GALLIARD] salute
[STRIGOOD, JOYCE, and GABRIELLA]

730StrigoodA fine forward spark!

731GalliardO sweet, O delicate.
        Ladies, if you will breath into me English,
        I shall, if you please, put Fransh into you*.
        Une pour l’autre, dat is one for anoder.

732Cash   [Aside]   So they might make a hot bargain on ’t.

733JoyceAre these your civil gentlemen, landlady?

734HannahHe seems a little waggish, but the other
        Is wondrous civil. He comes blushingly.

735PapillionYou are before me in the salutation
        Of these fair ladies, Monsieur Galliard.

736GalliardIl est vrai, Monsieur Papillion*,
        I kiss before, then you mose kiss behind.*

737[Papillion]*But let me pray my tardinesse be excused. [PAPILLION kisses JOYCE]*

738JoyceYou pronounce English well, sir.

739PapillionI am glad
        You like it, lady.

740GabriellaI like the other’s as well.

741PapillionI have before spent many months in England,
        And my great love unto the nation,
        Especially to the beauties of your sex,
        Retracts me hither, where my friend was never
        Till now that my persuasion won his company;
        And happily, I suppose, we are arrived,
        That, to the sight and knowledge we have had
        Of music, dances, courtships, and behaviour,
        Through all parts of our country, France, with an
        Addition of all Italy affords,*
        Where, by all best opinions, even the choicest
        Of such court qualities, and active graces,
        Have had their spring, we now as fame suggests
        Shall in this fair society discern
        More than by all our former observation.

742StrigoodReport, sir, speaks too loud on our behalf,
        And let me pray ye that it not beget
        Too great an expectation on our weakness,
        By your too gentle suffrage. What we can,
        We’ll do.

743GalliardO oui, dat’s de best. Doe is de ting*
        De Fransh man loves: If all your both two daughters
        Show all, all makes but more desire to do.
        Speak I no good English, madamoiselle?

744JoyceI understand you not.*

745GalliardYou no understand me,
        Because you tinck I lie. But if you lie*
        With me, I make you understand me presently.

746Cash   [Aside]   This hot-reined* monsieur takes ’em for the same
        Strigood would have ’em be. I came in time.

747StrigoodAt afternoon we’ll have an exercise
        Of courtship, gentlemen. In the interim,
        If you will have, to stir the appetite,
        A dance before our ordinary, we are for you.

748GalliardAnd we for you. Allons, à l’Egremont, allons*
        Monsieur Papillion, pour l’honneur de France.

749PapillionWhat are your dances chiefly in request?

750StrigoodGood landlady, bid the music be in readiness,
        And then see dinner set upon the table.Exit HANNAH
        We have, sir, for corants, La Migniarde*,
        La Vemimde*, Le Marquess*, Le Holland*,
        La Brittaine*, Le Roy*, Le Prince*, Le Montague*,
        The Saraband*, the Canaries*, La Reverie*.
        For galliards*, the Sellibrand*, the Dolphine*,
        The New Galliard*, the Valette Galliard*, and L'Epee*.

751Galliard’Tis all very good. Monsieur Papillion, essayons,*
        mon ami.

752CashAnd hark you, Monsieur Strigood, you will
        be put to’t.

753StrigoodI fear no French flashes. Bear up, Cash, if we cannot dance them of o’ their legs, our wenches can*,
        I warrant thee. Music, be ready.
        Gallants, what, are you pleased to dance?[PAPILLION directs the dance]*
After the Dances, enter HANNAH

754HannahGentlemen, your dinner stays, meat will be cold.

755[Galliard]*And we are hot. ’Tis better that take cold
        Than we. But come, one table for us all.

756Papillon and StrigoodAgreed, agreed, agreed.

757Cash   [Aside]   I say so too,
        But to myself reserve what I will do.All exit

Edited by Mike Leslie