ACT THREE*
3.1
[Enter] PISO [and] VICTORIA

265PisoWhy not me, lady?* Stand not I as fair
        And fit for your embraces as any man?

266VictoriaYes, sir, ’tis granted; and as acceptable
        I yield to none.

267Piso’Tis but to try† my courtship, I presume,
        That you put on this coyness† and to draw
        More ample testimony of affection
        By protestation, prayers, compliments,
        The weakest ceremonies due to love:
        Mere noise and lip-labour with loss of time.
        I think with scorn upon such poor expressions
        And am above the art of amorists†,
        That cringe† and creep† by weak degrees of love:
        To kiss the hand, the cheek, the lip, then cry
        “O divine touch!” *then smirk† and then embrace,
        Then nuzzle† in the Elysium* of your bosom
        And be entranced†! Means fit for duller† spirits
        To gather heat and strength of appetite*!
        My desire speaks in love’s true dialect†;
        And, from my heart inflamed, you may perceive
        Love’s fire rage in mine eyes enough*
        To melt to yieldingness a frozen breast.
        In this I talk too much. I find you yielding.*

268VictoriaAnd I myself too blame†――――

269PisoLet us retire then.*

270VictoriaMistake me not, good signior†. Keep your distance:
        I blame myself to let you overween†
        By my long silence, that immodesty†
        To be in me that might embolden you
        To your and my dishonour. Pray desist,
        And let the friendly welcome you have found
        Persuade† your fair construction†.

271PisoIs this earnest?

272VictoriaYes, in sooth† is it.

273PisoI’ll be plainer then.
        What make you here i’th’ smock-fair*, precious mistress?
        Or why these dressings, these perfumes and paintings*?
        Do you wear the habit† of our courtesans
        And, by their art, call† gazers to your beauty,
        Full of high hopes and flames of ardent love,
        Thus to delude† and make them witnesses
        Of a cold-seeming** chastity? What new art†
        Is this? It cannot be to get a husband!

274VictoriaNor a child neither, sir, that’s less*.

275PisoThat’s soon believed, yet no disparagement†
        To your expert sufficiency† in the trade*:
        For the best carpenters make fewest chips;*
        There’s very few of all your function* fruitful.
        Yet some there be approvèd men at arms,
        Famous in public* service; and a many
        Good handicraftsmen in the Arsenal*,
        Bred by this bounteous city from such mothers
        That ne’er could boast their fathers; and as many
        Daughters (if they prove worthy in their feature)
        Succeed their active mothers* in their fortunes.

276VictoriaYou are better read than I, sir.

277Piso’Tis common knowledge, lady. Nor do I
        Read this t’inform yourself, who were instructed
        (I make no doubt) before your price was set
        By all examples to* your present practice.

278VictoriaSir, I must tell you now, you grow too lavish†.
        So, as I fear foul language*, t’avoid* which
        Let me entreat a fair departure hence.

279PisoLady, this overacted† state might fit
        The wife of a Clarissimo†, or the bashful
        Daughter of some patrician†: but in you,
        A piece†* set out to sale, it but appears
        Affected† singularity†, more unsuitable†
        To the temptations you wear about you
        Than th’ holy-seeming pictures in your chamber.

280VictoriaWhy should it trouble you, sir?

281PisoIt does, to think what new and secret aim
        You may intend by this, in taking on you
        The habit and the name of courtesan:
        And, first, to set a price so far beyond
        The strength† of any ordinary means;
        And then to show a carriage† that may strike
        Lust out of countenance†! O the knot’s dissolved†!*
        O Oedipus! O Sphynx!* I now have found it:
        You fish for Fishermen* (’tis pregnant† truth)!
        She claps a cardinal aboard* at least.
        ’Tis not a layman’s† purse or learning can
        Or† purchase or confute† you, is’t not so?

282VictoriaNow you are foul indeed, and I must plead
        My privilege* against you, sir: you know
        I have a freedom, grounded upon custom
        Here in this city, for a month to make
        Choice of my lodging; set what price I please
        Upon myself; admit what visitants†
        I shall think fit; no other, nor no more;
        And this without control or least exception*
        Of you or any man; secured† by th’ city,
        So safe from outrages that least abuse
        May, on my just complaint, be punishable
        In whomsoever by affront† dares grieve†* me.

283Piso   [Aside]   I fear she’ll prove another creature than
        The beast I took her for: she knows her strength.

284VictoriaYet thus much (for you are a gentleman)
        I’ll yield for satisfaction unexacted*:
        If, in this month’s space, in that honoured way
        (For I despair not of a husband, sir)
        Of holy marriage I be not promoved†;
        Nor, by that time prefixed†, the great sum* tendered†
        (Great, as you term’t) for my virginity;
        And that I stoop for less*, here is my hand:
        I will be yours as freely as mine own
        At your own price.

285PisoSaid like a noble wench!
        Only a word by way of friendly advice,
        And so farewell. This maidenhead of yours,
        By you so highly prized, now being ripe
        (And therein only merchantable† ware†)
        Will, if you overslip†* the season, grow
        Suddenly fulsome†, straightway stale, then rotten.
        Think upon choicest fruit or fowl* or fish,
        Rich wines, or any rarity: how soon
        Their virtue’s† lost.

286VictoriaI am enough instructed.

287PisoOnce more farewell――Pray ponder on these things.

288VictoriaFear not, I shall.

289PisoCould you consider how ’twould grieve a soul
        Indued† with reason, knowing the true use
        Of nature’s delicates†, to see ’em lost
        Or spoiled for want of seasonable taking*,
        I know you would, and thank me for my counsel†.

290VictoriaIndeed, and so I do.

291PisoIndeed, farewell then.[PISO] exit[s]

292VictoriaHe’s gone; at last the tedious storm is over.
        I shall want day* as well as patience
        T’endure and answer all the rest so largely†.
Enter HORATIO*, like a French cavalier†*[.] BORGIO presents him.

           [Aside]*   See my sprightly† Frenchman! I must look
        For a hot onset now, though a short skirmish*.

293HoratioLet me in my approach admire that object
        That vindicates† the voice of fame, in proving
        She was no liar* in the loud reports
        That blazed† it for the beauty of the world!

294VictoriaGood sir, beware idolatry.

295HoratioThe Egyptians,
        Would they forbear† their wonted† heathenish worship,
        And fall in adoration of this face――――

296VictoriaIndeed, I’ll hear no more.

297HoratioLady, you must:
        You are so far above the pitch† of flattery
        That highest courtship in our best of language
        Wants† due† expression of your supreme graces;
        And not to tender† you the height of praise
        Were mere rusticity†, rather prophanation†.

298VictoriaYet let* me stay† you there, and let me tell you
        You have worded† well your high conceit†* of me;
        But in a way so low, so undeserving
        A courtier’s† art that I have found you none.

299HoratioNo courtier, lady?

300VictoriaNo, no courtier, sir.
        How can it fall† in courtly understanding
        That beauty can be conquered by its* praise?
        It breeds but less respect* and oft times scorn
        From those that are ambitious of praise
        On such praise-givers. And if you came only
        Thus to pronounce my praise, you have said enough.

301HoratioNay, dearest lady, saving your displeasure―――
           Aside*   I must come closer to her, she’ll forget
        She is a whore else†.

302VictoriaSir, your further pleasure.

303HoratioTo tell you, lady, now I like your wit
        Equally with your beauty; briefly of which
        A word or two, and so unto our business*.
        (You tax† me with the loss of time already.)
        You do consider fitly† that to praise
        What we would purchase makes the value higher:
        It is the chapman’s† rule to discommend†.*

304VictoriaRight, sir. Were you to buy a horse or jewel,
        You would not praise it past the price propounded†.

305HoratioYes: where I find the worth exceed the price.

306Victoria   Aside*   (I am betrayed. He brings the money sure.)

307HoratioAnd, that you know I do esteem your worth
        Above all salary†, I yield myself,
        Fraught* with unvaluable† love and honour,
        To be the due reward of your embraces.

308VictoriaWhat’s this, sir, to a thousand double ducats*?

309HoratioYou cannot think so poorly; or, if so,
        Perceive them in a taste of my endowments†*.
        First, see my late composure†, where the flame
        Of the soul-ravishing art of poesy†
        May light† your judgement ’bove the love of money.

310VictoriaYou’ll say my soul is noble*; then if I
        (As I protest I do) complain the wants
        Of even the best professors† of that art,
        The words are set†.

311HoratioTo notes my voice can master?

312VictoriaPlease you to read ’em, sir, and in requital†
        Of such a debt, my maid shall sing ’em for you.

Enter JACCONETTA*

        Jacconetta, observe this ditty†*.

[HORATIO] reads the song.

        Let not the corrupted steam
        Of invective's*† breach† blaspheme†
        Ladies for those artful† graces,
        Which they lay† upon their faces:
        Ceruse† and vermillion† there
        As aptly† may be laid,
        As (to cover nature bare)
        All other parts* be clad.
        Be we sick in any part,
        Pained or lame, we seek to* art,
        (Nature’s rector†) to restore
        Us* the strength we had before.
        Who can say a lady’s face
        Less meriteth the cost,
        Or the privilege or grace
        Her other parts may boast†?
        Ladies, no: since time may steal
        Nature’s bounty†, learn to heal;
        And with nimble hand repair
        Teeth and lips, cheeks, eyes and hair;
        Filling wrinkles, purling† veins:
        That, unperceived* may be
        Upon your looks, the strokes† and pains
        Of age and casualty†.

313VictoriaNow try your voice, maid.
JACCONETTA sings*

314HoratioHowever ’twas well sung, you seem to slight†
        In such requital† my esteem† of you:
        But yet there rests in me a quality,
        I may suppose not so to be requited†.
        Please you command your music*, I will dance
        To what you first shall name of latest practice*.

315VictoriaYour skill hath made you confident; and I
        Do so much honour these endowments† in you
        That I myself will answer you in this.
        Name you the dance, sir.

316HoratioTo come the closer to you, the Novella.

317VictoriaI am but weakly† practised yet in that.

318HoratioSome other then.

319VictoriaNo, let it be the same.
        Go play it, Jacconetta, the Novella.JACCONETTA exit[s]

320Horatio   [Aside]   I do begin to doubt my qualities†
        Will not pass here in payment at the rate
        My schooling† cost me, when she repays all
        I can bestow in the same coin again*.
        But since I’m in*, I’ll on†, and make the best
        Both face and legs I can in’t.
Dance*

321HoratioHow like you it, lady?

322VictoriaFor so much, sir, as you have excelled me
        I crave your kind acceptance of my thanks.

323HoratioI still had rather you were pleased to accept
        Me and my whole deservings†. I come to you*.
        If you esteem† of courtship, language, quality,
        Sorting† a gentleman of best degree,
        The mixture† of whose knowledge with his practice
        Cost thrice your golden sum*; let me and those*
        Be made the meed† of your most sweet enjoying.

324VictoriaI will not make you such a loser, sir,
        But rather wish you had your money again
        Those excellencies cost*.

325HoratioYou do not flout† me, lady?

326VictoriaNo, I’ll speak plainly, sir. These qualities
        Might on some thriving stage and lucky legs*
        Bring you your money again, winning perhaps
        The love of some old lady by stirring up†
        The embers of affection, rather lust.

327HoratioDid ever woman talk so?

328VictoriaBut certes† here
        They will not pass for ready money†, sir.

329Horatio   [Aside]   I dreamt as much. She has a devilish wit.

330VictoriaMy courtesy†, sir, forbids me bid you hence;
        But, having private business of my own,
        I must crave leave† to leave† you to the thought
        Of what two thousand ducats are.[VICTORIA] exit[s]

331HoratioBe handed.*
Enter BORGIO

332BorgioIs it performed, sir? Have you done the feat?

333HoratioPox† o’ your feats!

334BorgioJust as the music played. I warrant† you,
        Sir, ’twas a moving† lesson, played to th’ life.
        We struck it home* that you might do so too.

335Horatio   [Aside]   The rogue, too, jeers† me!   [Aloud]   Sir, I should do well
        To strike or beat your undeserved fee
        Out of your bawdy pocket.

336BorgioAs if you had not done the do† you came for!
        What pretty ways can gentlemen find out
        To save their monies! ’Tis worth praise in some
        That have but little, or come hardly† by’t
        By travail†, study, or laborious toil,
        Dear† shifts† sometimes and dangerous ways with hazard†――――

337HoratioVery good!

338BorgioBut for you gallants that have, as it were,
        Wealth above wit born with you and still growing
        Up with you, past the reach of your expenses*;
        And never sweat but for your exercise,
        Or what your exercises bring you to*!
        For you to think your pleasures costly; feign*
        Excuse for petty fees now the great charge*
        Is paid and your desire satisfied ―――

339HoratioNo more.

340BorgioAlas sir, what is a poor ducatoon†
        After a thousand ducats?――――

341HoratioHa’ you done?

342BorgioWould you had not; ’less* my reward were better.
        See, see, the bed made smooth again! And all*
        (O precious† craft†!) as here had nothing been!
        Well! Would ye were all as wise in greater matters.

343Horatio   [Aside]   ’Tis the rogue’s humour†: I will give him something
        For abusing† me.   [Aloud]   There’s your ducatoon
        To work† more affability in your mistress
        Against† my next approach.

344BorgioIt seems then yet
        You are not cloyed† with her deliciousness.

345HoratioNor had one taste (I swear by life and honour)
        Of all my hopes, more than her hand and lips.

346BorgioHave you not in that a double meaning, sir?

347HoratioI vow, for ought I know, she is a virgin.

348BorgioYou’ve satisfied me, and perhaps my art†
        May in your absence work† a little for you.

349HoratioThink of me then.

350BorgioMy profit pricks† me to it.

351HoratioRespect† it then. Adieu†.[HORATIO] exit[s]

352BorgioServiteur, Monsieur*.
        The fear of thee is past.* I was almost
        In a cold sweat; but all the danger now,
        Lies on the tother side o’th’ house: my Don†,
        My hot†, goat-livered* Diego*, should he now
        Discharge his pistols on her*, they would prove
        More forcible† than cannon-shot† on me.
Enter [DON] PEDRO* [and] VICTORIA

        Faith† quit me of suspect! How big he looks!
        As if he scorned repulse†. If he grow violent,
        I’ll bring the Dutchman in to cool his pride
        And set them by the ears for our Low Countries.*[BORGIO] exit[s]

353PedroI have not in all Spain (where majesty,
        Enthroned, sits upon the brow of beauty
        And crowns* the ladies with prerogative†
        ’Bove all the women of the earth) encountered
        With such a scorn as here: discourteous† woman,
        Worthless and ignorant of the weighty† trust
        Was tendered† to thee in my blood† and honour.

354VictoriaYour blood and honour will not feed or clothe me.

355PedroI will not change† a word more* with a mouth
        So full of rudeness and mechanic† baseness.

356VictoriaNot upon my submission†, sir?

357PedroIt must be great and sudden, if it move† me.

358VictoriaHe looks that I should kneel and beg a kiss.

359PedroWhy seek you not to expiate† your trespass†
        By tender† of yourself to my embraces?

360VictoriaI cannot do’t: my virgin modesty
        Denies that freedom†.

361PedroI’ll no more delay:
        I see ’tis only force must conquer you.

362VictoriaYou will not ravish me! Within there! Help!
Enter BORGIO [and] JACCONETTA

363BorgioWhat! Is the great sum* tendered†?
        Do you want† hands to tell† your money, mistress?

364VictoriaNo, to take off the hands of rape and outrage
        This proud imperious Spaniard griped† me with.

365BorgioSignor, you must not gripe† nor grope here
        Under the sum prefixed*: two thousand ducats.
        We have arithmetic to receive them by
        In your own pistolets† or pieces of eight†,
        In reals†, if you please; but not one single one
        To be abated†, my most thrifty Don,
        Whom I cannot abuse enough. Methinks,
        I have seen one in your shape so well presented*.

366PedroVillain, I’ll have thee whipped* for this affront†,
        Thy fault is punishable by the law.

367BorgioNot in defence of honour, dear Don Tarquin*,
        Preventing rape and murder.

368PedroVillain, die.[Pedro] draws [a] pistol*

369BorgioNot at this distance, sir. Besides, here’s aid.*
Enter SWATZENBURGH

370SwatzenburghHence, you mosquito*. Give a look more this way,
        I’ll force thee take thy wings* out at the window.

371PedroBorne down† by bravoes†! Let the place protect ye,
        By my few minutes’ patience. My revenge
        Shall shortly speak in thunder*.

372SwatzenburghHold your peace;
        And vent not here your loud rodomontadoes†,
        Lest I spit lightning.

373PedroWell sir, I am silent.

374BorgioBe so, my politic†* Don. This Hans* has snapped† her;
        The Dutchman carries her from your great claim:
        And this may be an ominous portent*
        Against your title to the Netherlands,
        It may hold in the great work, sir, as well
        As in this small assay†.

375PedroAbused and jeered†!

376BorgioNor† they hear me not, my noble signor†,
        I’ll tell you for your satisfaction
        This Alemannic†* is a younker† that would marry her,
        And she nor I durst† bear† it otherwise,
        (Knowing by chance he slipped into the house
        And overheard us). When* you come again,
        I will inform you further; you shall find
        My information worthy of a fee.

377PedroTake from my hand a piece† of four gazetts*.

378BorgioThat’s three-pence sterling: you are bounteous, sir;
        So, now, look big and vanish.PEDRO exit[s].

379VictoriaI have not, sir, in my short story* strayed
        In the least syllable from truth, and were
        The eyes of all the world fixed upon
        My seeming* levity†, my mind should be
        Still constant as the centre* to that end,
        Reserved† in my free† thoughts.

380SwatzenburghWhy was the sum, then, of two thousand ducats
        Proclaimed the price of your virginity?

381VictoriaTo keep the flesh-flies† off. You know my aim*, sir.

382SwatzenburghI find thee noble, lady; nor can I
        Further attempt a breach† upon your honour*.

383VictoriaUpon those terms, I pray, sir, be my guest:
        I have by this time a slight† dinner staying†.

384SwatzenburghYour favours make me bold.

385VictoriaSee all in readiness, Jacconet.JACCONETTA exit[s]

386SwatzenburghI’ll drink a frolic*, lady;
        Mirth and good wine take me: my loose† desire
        Is to chaste love refined by Vesta’s fire*.[SWATZENBURGH and VICTORIA] exit*

387BorgioAm I a prophet? Sure the Dutchman’s ta’en
        In a chaste snare indeed. I did but forge† it
        For an excuse to calm and rid† the Spaniard,
        And he* seems to prevent† my fiction; yet
        Presumption† shall not sway† me. Women’s wiles†
        Are oft-times past prevention†, and men catch†
        Sense of the wrongs, which to prevent† they watch†.[BORGIO] exit[s]*



Edited by Professor Richard Cave