Act V. Scæn I.
Enter Croſſewill Solus.
Croſſ.WHat has this Coxſcombe
Cockbrayne
writ me here? That he deſires his ab-
ſence be excuſ’d. What have I to do with him? when
I ſend for him, let him come to me. That he is up-
on a point of diſcovery in a moſt excellent project
for the weeding of this Garden? what Garden? what
project? A project he ſays here for the good of the
Republike, Repudding. This fellow has in ſtead of
braines, a Cob-web in his Noddle, with little ſtrawes,
feathers, and wings of dead Butterflies hanging in it,
that having motion by his aery fancie, there dance
and keep a Racket; ’tis to teach women ſilence, or
ſome ſuch fooliſh impoſſibility. He is ambitious to
be call’d into authority by notice taken of ſome ſpe-
cial ſervice he is able to do the State aforehand. But
what great ſervice he is able to do it, or which way to
undertake it, falls not in the reach of my imaginati-
on. But good Mr.
Croſwill, by your favour now,
what reaſon have you to ſlight or wrangle at this man?
this honeſt
Cockbrayne? that has alwayes been a con-
ſtant friend to you, and officious in many good wayes,
and is a Gentleman, not only of good deſcent and e-
ſtate, but of a good diſpoſition. And you two, Mr.
Croſſewill, by your leave, have alwayes agreed like
[F7r]neigh-
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
neighbours children. I, the divel was in’t, and now
he vexes me again; we agreed in one point ſo well,
that we have undone a couple of our children by it,
and hindred the getting of
I know not how many more.
His ſon and my daughter ſhould have married. And on a
ſndden he and I both conſented to a diſlike of the match
and broke it, and have both repented it an hundred times
ſince. We agree very wel in that point; and now is his
ſon irrecoverably loſt, and my daughter reſolutely bent
to be an Ape-leader in
Limbo. But whats all this to the
affliction I ſuffer in my ſons now? that one of them
from a riotous boy, ſould grow into a Puritanical
Woodcock; and the tother from a civil well-qualified fellow,
turn’d abſolute Ruffian. There, there,
I there’s
the devil in’t.
I could beat my ſelfe for getting ſuch
Enter Belt.
See, ſee, my Maſter for want of other company fal-
len out with himſelf, and it pleaſe you, ſir.
Croſ.It does not pleaſe me, nor thou pleaſeſt me, nor
any thing pleaſes me. The world’s bent to croſſe me,
Croſſ.Is it not ſo, ſir, was not that dunce
Gabriel, a
moſt notorious wilde thing
Before he ſteer’d a Religious courſe? but then he run
ſo full a ſaile, that he paſſ’d and was beyond the line
of Religion before he was aware; and as he paſſed it un-
der the torrid Zone of Zeale, the Calenture took him
o’the pate, that he is mad with it, and as far beyond
Religion now as it is to it.
Belt.Sir, there’s hope that he may be fetch’t halfe
way back again, by your fatherly advicement, and be-
[F7v]Croſſ.
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
Croſſ.And then was not
Mihil ſo civil, that he
made me even ſick to ſee him. And now is he
flowen out as far into riot t’other way.
Belt.But he, ſir, will appear a preſent comfort to
you, he is reclaim’d already; you ſhall never ſee ſuch
a Reformation in a Gentleman.
Croſ.What’s this you tell me? ha!
Belt.He has caſt off his long-curl’d haire and
Croſſ.He had been better have cut his head off.
Belt.Below ſir, and a Gentlewoman with him, but
very much afraid to appear to you. I never ſaw a man
Croſſ.Do you think it fit that I should go down to him,
or he come up to me, ſir, ha!
Belt.I’le fetch him, here’s a life!
Ex.
Croſſ.I charg’d he ſhould not come at this houſe
too, for fear he might be catch’d with this mecha-
nick fellows daughter, though her portion be a round
one. And let him take heed he look not at her.
Enter Mihil and Madge.
Bleſſe me! what changeling is this? he’s in his
Croſſ.Would you ſpeak with any here, ſir, do you
know me. I know not you, I aſſure you.
Mih.The ſenſe of your late diſpleaſure, ſir, has ſo
humbled me into the knowledge of my ſelf, that on
the wings of true obedience, I flew after you to make
a childes ſubmiſſion at your feet, to crave your pardon
for my riotous tranſgreſſion, and to ask your bleſ-
Croſ.A delicate ſpeech, pray take it for faſhion-
[F8r]sake,
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
ſake. But if I know how to look towards thee.
Mih.Pray ſir, beſtow it really upon me.
Croſſ.God bleſſe thee, I ſay, and ſo much many
honeſt men beſtow daily on ſons that are none of
their own, if thou beeſt mine, how cameſt thou thus
like a fellow that had narrowly ſcap’d the Pillorie, and
brag’d in the publication of his eares? not an hair left
Mih.To ſhew my readineſſe to reform my life,
ſir. And yet a willingneſſe withal to live, as well, as
civilly, in which I am in all humilty to preferre a
ſuit to you. You know, ſir, I am but a younger bro-
Croſ.What will this come to?
Mih.Here is a widow, ſir, a Gentlewoman of
great eſtate, and of a well-known life. Antient ſhe
is, and has had huſbands. How many?
Mih.Foure ſir, I would not lie. Of which the
worſt ſpoke well of her on’s death-bed.
Mad.What’s that to me or thee? come to the
Mih.I have all wo’d and wonne her, ſir, and crave
but your good-will to marry her. I have brought a
Church-man and a Kinſman to give her.
Croſſ.Why ſo, what needs two words then? do
you think I can deny you?
Mih.If he does grant it, ’tis the firſt requeſt that
e’re he granted in his life. Sure the old Match-ma-
ker the devil thinks I am in earneſt to marry this
beaſt. And puts a readineſſe in his hand to for-
Croſſ.Widow, you are welcome. Why call you
not your Prieſt? or tarry ſir, let me queſtion you
but a little, Do you think ſeriouſly you love this wi-
[F8v]Mih.
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
Mih.Better then many men love their wives, I
Croſſ.’Tis very well, what children have you wi-
Mih.Nor ever like to have any, ſir, thats the com-
fort. We ſhall live at the leſſe charge.
Croſſ.Thou art a covetous and a prepoſterous
Knave. Wouldeſt thou bury up thy youth in barren
ground? doeſt ſeek after wealth, and not after iſſue?
doeſt love to feed on other mens leavings? or travel
only in a beaten path? ha!
Mih.A man goes certaineſt on his journey ſo, ſir,
and leſſe trouble it is you know to go in at a great
gate, then a narrow wicket.
Croſſ.You have ſaid enough, ſir, and delight to
croſſe me; but I’le croſſe you for once, and lay a
croſſe upon you, shall perhaps carry you to your grave.
Mih.I’le face it as far as I dare. I hope I ſhall have
the grace to pull my hand from the book when it
Croſſ.Widow, you are reſolv’d to have him too.
Mad.Before all men I’th’world by your fair leave,
Croſſ.You ſhall not have him.
Mad.Without your free conſent, I will not.
Croſſ.I am reſolv’d
I’le do it. And ’twill be the
beſt croſſe trick that e’re I did in my life. Pray let me
ſpeak in ſome more private with you.
Mad.If
I but ’ſcape
Bridewell,
I care not.
Scæn 2.
Enter Mihil, Anthonie, Katharine, Parson.
Mih.Now
Tonie, ſhe’s thine own. Now Siſter
Kate,
Ghe’s
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he’s thine. The Prieſt has pronounc’t it. I ſay, A-
men to’t. And heaven give you joy.
Kat.Now you have done the beſt brotherly office
that ever made a Siſter happy.
Ant.And the friendlieſt to a friend. We have
been caſting for it, Sweet, this Twelve moneth, and
Heaven pardon me. I vow’d never to take acquaint-
ance of my Father, till ’twere effected. Although
I
know of late he has been willing.
Kat.And ſo is mine,
I know, but yet he ſwore, that
I
ſhould match my ſelf before he knew’t, or
I ſhould
Mih.You’ll finde him of another minde towards
me, and force me into wedlock preſently.
Kat.You have ta’ne the likelieſt courſe that could
be. But what is your diſguiz’d woman, Bro-
Mih.What you ſhall never know, Siſter, I hope.
Enter Croſſewill, Rookesbill, Lucie,Madge.
Croſſ.Come ſir, I have broken off the match with
your widow; and ſhe’s content to leave you as ſhe
found you. And now take me this pretty, ſimpring,
plump-lip’t, ruddie-cheek’t, white-neck’t, long-fin-
ger’d Virgin in hand, or I will ſwindge you, Sirrah,
look to’t.
If you cannot live civilly with a young
wife, you cannot but be mad with an old,
I think. Be-
ſides, ſhe’s a friends daughter of mine, and prepar’d
by her diſcreet father here to love you. Come, and
kiſſe her, quickly, Sirrah.
Mih.I cannot do’t for all the wealth in the
Mih.Kiſſe a Maid I never ſaw above twice in my
[G1r]Croſſ.
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
Croſſ.He will have me think him a baſtard, do
I what I can. Canſt thou ſee a Maid twice, and not kiſſe
Mih.Yes, twenty times, ſir, and not kiſſe her, or if
Croſſ.But you ſhall kiſſe her above and below, ſir,
and in every room o’th’ houſe, ſir, before you part.
Luc.I know not how to do’t.
Rook.You were not beſt let me inſtruct you.
I can
Luc.His back ſide’s toward me.
Croſſ.Turne your ſelf, Sirrah, or
I’le turne you. Go
to, bend your body a little and be hang’d. So, now
come your way, and ſay after your little Sir
John
here,
I Mihil take thee, Lucie, &c. As learning ſhall
enable him to proceed without book.
Rook.Pray let ’em do it in the next chamber, they
are too baſhful afore us. There are witneſſes enough.
Mih.Widow, will you give me leave to obey my
Mad.With all my heart, and ſay
Amen to the
Croſſ.I think
I ſhall have my will at laſt upon one
of my rebellious off-ſpring.
Rook.And now, pray give me leave ſir, to let you
know how happy
I do hold my ſelfe in this marriage.
I did like this Son better then the other before. And
now
I like him better then
I did at my former view
of him, by ſome Reformation that
I do obſerve in
him. And
I do not a little rejoyce in the honour
I
may have to call you brother.
Croſſ.That very word brorher out of his mouth has
turn’d my ſtomack.
I muſt pull all in pieces again.
And yet let me ſee theſe young bloods when they
G 2are
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
are ſet on’t; if they do not marry, they will do worſe.
Rook.You may eaſily conceive, ſir, what a com-
fort it will be unto me, that I now growing old, and
having (I give praiſe for’t) wealth enough, and no
childe that I make account of but this one daughter,
may, before I die, ſee Grandchildren that I may have by
her ſufficiently provided for, be they more or leſſe in
number, they may have enough.
Croſſ.There he is again, he calls my Grand-chil-
dren that ſhall be, his Grand-children. Am I a
Gentleman, and can hear this? if it be not too late,
I’le ſpoile the getting of your Grand-children.
Enter all again.
All.Heaven give you joy. Heaven give you
Croſſ.What, are you married?
Pars.I do pronounce them man and wife.
Ant. Mad. Kat.And we are witneſſes.
Mih. Luc.We are, and crave your bleſſings.
Cross. Rook.All bleſſings be upon you,
(all sa-
lute)
Croſſ.But you, ſir, Mr.
Bridegroom.
Mih.I’le only gratifie the Miniſter.
Croſſ.Do ſo, and pay him well, it is, perhaps, for
the deareſt fault that e’re thou didſt.
Mih.There’s for your paines, ſir.
Madge, there’s
for you. Enough to purchaſe thee a Licence to ſell
Ale, Tobaccho, and Strong-water again in Codpiece-
Rowe, for here will be no dwelling for thee, I ſee
Now, brother
Anthonie, go you all back to the com-
pany we left, and ſee that my Inſtructions be followed
[G2v]con-
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
concerning my brother
Gabriel,
Nick, and his
Dam-
Mih.Yes, but you ſhall follow him preſently,
truſt to me Siſter. Go, take no leave of ’em. I’le
bring ’em upon you preſently.
Croſſ.Are you at leiſure now, ſir, to tell me of your
Mih.Yes, to my grief, ſir, praying you may have
Croſſ.To your grief, ſir, he is not dead then?
Younger brothers ſeldome grieve for their Elders
Mih.Pray bear it as you may, ſir. I left him in an
heavy plight. And let me ſpeak it with ſorrow, he
Rook.Alack-a-day, good Gentleman, my ſon-in-
law, perhaps, is heire already.
Croſſ.And haſt thou been here all this while fooling or
wiving (all’s a matter) & left thy brother in danger? ha!
Mih.He’s well attended, ſir, and look’t unto. Nor
would I wiſh you ſee his weak eſtate.
It can but grieve you, ſir, my wife and ſiſter, toge-
ther with my ſelf, will go. Or if
It pleaſe my father
Rooksbill here, becauſe his power
in this quarter is available.
Croſſ.Go, ſhew the way.
I’le go in perſon, I. My
Croſſ.Yes, ’cauſe you have a wife, you ſhall con-
troul me. Will you go on, ſir.
Mih.Well, I’le bring you to him, ſir.
Luc.What was your widow, ſir, ſhe ſtunk of
Aqua
Mih.I’le tell thee as we go. Kiſſe.
Exeunt.
G 3Scæn.
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
Scæn 3.
Enter Clotpoll, Dorcas, Nick.
Nick.What a drunken ſot was
I, that knew thee
not all this while? I vow, thy ſtory pities me.
I’le
marry thee, and turne thee to thy friends, for
I am
ſure
I have none that will keep thee for my ſake.
Dorc.I ask no further ſatiſfaction of you, then to
be honeſted by marriage.
I’le work for a poor li-
Nick.Prithee
Mun ſeek me a Prieſt.
Clot.I have no acquaintance in their function, I.
Dorc.My Couſin
Mihil ſaid he would bring or ſend
Nick.There’s no ſtarting, that
Mihil has a fiſt o-
ver me. I vow, and thou wert not his Kinſwoman,
thou ſhould to the Common yet.
Clot.Father, how come you hither?
Capt.Did not the company ſend for me?
Capt.The City-mouth, that peck’t us at my lodging
laſt night, came to me with an abominable ſcratch’t
face, and warn’d me on a buſineſſe hither.
Clot.Some treacherie upon the brotherhood, per-
Nick.Timorous thing! what in our own Quar-
Capt.If you doubt any thing, ’tis beſt remove.
The fellow was ſorely handled.
Nick.I would but ſee the carcaſs of authority prance
in our Quarter, and we not cut his legs off. Wel-
come
Tonie, what haſt thou brought the word here to
[G3v]Enter
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
Enter Ant. Parson.
Ant.Come, you muſt make a wedding-night on’t
Nick,
Mihil will go no leſſe.
Nick.My Vow is paſſ’d, and before you, ſir,
I con-
firm it. This is my wife. Anon, you ſhall perform the
Ant.’Tis well, pray ſir, retire your ſelf to the next
room there awhile, and ſtay you with him, Lady.
But what do you with
Gabriel? Is it not time to
Clot.’Tis now upon the point, h’as ſlept two
Nick.Father, you’ll ſee a brave experiment upon a
Gentleman that has been a youth.
Clot.And of the
Philoblathici, as we are now.
Nick.And ſince was grown one of the reformed,
and we are now in practice to retrive, and bring him
back to his firſt condition.
Ant.Have you followed all
Mihils directions?
Nick.Hitherto we have. Firſt, you ſaw he was
laid defunct in Sack, next in his ſleep, we have accou-
tred him in martial abliments; and now we mean to
wake him with alarmes ſhall affright the ſilly humour
out of him, and render him his warlike faculty, or our
Ant.Where be the Wenches?
Clot.The Siſters of the Scabberd, there’s the ſport
on’t. They have their parts to play upon him too.
But for his drink now when he wakes, you ſaid you
would have a bottle of the womans what do you call’t
Capt.What? the charm’d liquor that
Medea brew’d
to make old father
Æſon young again?
Muſt that renew his youthful ſpirit in him?
G 4Nick.
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
Nick.No, Sack will do better. When he wakes
he will be very dry, then a quart-draught of good Ca-
narie will ſo ſcrew him up ’Tis time ’twere now
in practice. So, ſoftly, ſoftly. We muſt but halfe wake
him at firſt.
A Bed put forth, Gabriel on
it, Bettie and Frank.
Nick.Here, drink it off, ſir,
(Drinks) Drum and
Trumpet. An Alarm.
Gab.Surpriz’d by th’ enemie, whileſt we have plaid
the Sluggard in our Tents.
Capt. Nick. Clot.Hold Captain, hold, we are your
Gab.Y’are Mutineers, and have diſturb’d my reſt.
And I’le do Martial Juſtice on you all.
Nick.I vow, hold, are you mad?
Gab.Know you not diſcipline? or are you growen
rebellious in the Camp. I’le teach you war-
Capt.You have conjur’d a fury into him to beat
Clot.My pate bleeds for’t, I proteſt.
Gab.I’le make you know command.
Ant.Noble Commander, hold thy furious hand,
and heare thy ſouldiers ſpeak.
Gab.What have we women for our Martial Mu-
Clot.None but the She-Trumpet, a neighbour here,
and her Siſter, that was Drum-major to my Coun-
trey-Amazons, that pull’d up the Incloſures to lie
Gab.Is the enemy i’th’ field?
Nick.Upon their march, Captain, and we your of-
ficers: But rowſ’d you up to be in readineſſe.
GabYou are my Lieutenant, you my Ancient, and
you two my Sergeants; and you muſt know the Com-
[G4v]mander
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
mander you ſerve under, to be none of thoſe Letter-
carriers that know not ſo much as the termes of diſ-
cipline, what a Flanker is, Nor a Raveling is. Nor a
Petarre is. Nor a Curtain is. Nor a Bulwark is. Nor
a Baſtile is. Nor a Counterſcarp is. Nor a Caſemate
is. A Gabion is: Nor any left word of fortification.
How can ſuch freſh-water Captains command?
All.Right noble Colonel. He ſhall be our Co-
Clot.One ſouldier made up of Sack, is worth as
many as would drink a fresh water river dry.
Gab.I knew, men of abilities ſhould at laſt be put
Are only fit for weighty enterpriſe.
Gab.What would an upſtart Militaſter now, That
knew no rudiments of diſcipline, nor Art of warre,
do in a ſudden ſervice? or ſay, when
I know how to
have my Ordnance planted here, my Cavalrie mount-
ed here, my Battery-diſcoverer on ſuch a point, my
Trenches cut thus, my mine carried thus, my Gabi-
ons raiſ’d thus. Here my Parapet, there my Palliſadoe
o’th’ top of that. The enemie made ſaltable ſix hun-
dred paces there. And I draw out my Musketeers to
flank ’em in their Trenches here, while my Pikes and
Targeteers advance to the breach there. What would
Captain, my Lords man, or Sergeant-major, my Ladies
Kinſman, ſent in by honourable favour, do or ſay in
All.Braver and braver ſtill.
Clot.This goes beyond the Blade and the Bat-
Gab.Or how would their braines lie in their
breeches, when the able Captain leads up his men in
the Head of a Troop bravely, charges with his ſhot,
[G5r]makes
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
makes a ſtand with his Pikes, does execution with
his Sword, the Cannon playing, the Drum beating,
the Shot thumping, the Enſignes waving, the Armes
claſhing, the Aire rending, Duſt and Smoke clouding,
Blood raining. And then to bring up ſuch a diviſion
to fight, make good ſuch a Ground, relieve ſuch a
Squadron, fetch off ſuch a loſſe, r’enforce the Ranks
that are broken. March on, Come off. Beat the
Beſſognes that lie hid in the Carriages. O the renown-
ed life of a worthy Commander.
Nick.Sound Drum and Trumpet.
All.A Colonel, a Colonel.
Enter Croſwill, Rooksbill, Mihil.
Croſ.Whither haſt thou brought me? does thy
brother lie ſpeechleſſe in this houſe? ha! what in the
name of tumult can theſe be?
Mih.Pray ſir, attend, you w ill be pleaſed a-
Gab.A ſtill march now. So, I have loſt a great ma-
ny of my men. But courage yet, you poor remainder
of my ſcattter’d Troops. Stand.
Qui vala. An Am-
buſcado of the enemy. Alarme. Lieutenant, charge
in with your Shot. Now Gentlemen, for the honour
of
Covent-Garden, make a ſtand with your Pikes; in
to the ſhort ſword; well fought, take Priſoners. Sound
a Retreat now. Faire, faire i’th’ coming off. So, ’twas
Clot.Muſt we not fall to rifling now, Colo-
Mih.Part faire on all ſides, Gentlemen.
Gab.What’s this, a viſion, ſure I do aile ſome-
Croſſ.Is’t poſſible it is thou? art thou run mad as far
as hell the tother way now.
[G5v]Rook.
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
Rook.My wicked, caitiffe, reprobate ſon is here too.
Pray let me flee, I am but a dead man elſe.
Mih.You ſhall receive no harm, ſir. Lay by your
Armes my Maſters. I bring none but friends.
Nick.Thou canſt not make that good, my father’s
Mih.I’le make him friends with thee. Go and
Ant.I’le ſee it done, and take our new made Brides
with us for witneſſes.
Ex. Nick. Ant. Kat. Luc.
Rook.Has his ſhame yet taught him to ſhunne my
Mih.And ſhall returne him inſtantly your com-
Rook.Unpoſſible, unpoſſible.
Croſſ.I rather thought I ſhould have found you, ſir,
diſputing with the Paſtors, and the Elders; yet to ſay
truth, this is the better madneſſe. What can this
mean? how came he thus translated? what Charmes,
or what Inchantments are upon him?
Gab.What
Babel was a building in my braines?
But now it turnes, and I can recollect
The knowledge of a father, brother, Siſter.
And that a thouſand vain imaginations,
Like ſcatterings of light things upon the earth,
Ruſhes, looſe leaves, ſprigs, ſtraws, and duſt
Contracted by a whirlwinde, were blowen up,
And lodg’d in the rich Seat of Contemplation,
Uſurping there the room of vertuous thoughts.
Honour awake me from this Lethargie.
Croſ.What can thoſe women that appear like
furies be in this action?
Mih.They were but uſ’d as properties to give new
motion to this mortified condition.
Croſ.I know not what to ſay to any thing; there
[G6r]
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
is ſome Spell upon me too. My anger has forſook me.
What are thoſe men that bear a countenance. As if
they ſtood indifferently affected to
Bedlam and
Bride-
Clot.Meaning by us, ſir. If our ſight offend you,
Know we are men that dare forbear the place.
Capt.I ſon, let’s go, our ſtay is dangerous.
They look like Peace-maintainers. We’ll fall off.
Enter Vintner.
Vint.O tarry, Gentlemen, we are all undone
elſe. If you make not your peace before you ſtir, both
Vint.The Magiſtrates and Officers with their Bill-
men have ta’ne us by ſurpriſe. They are i’th’
Bett.O me! the blew Gown Colledge.
Fran.Wheels and whips. I feel what we muſt go
to. Did not I ſay our ſtay was dangerous?
Clot.Did not I ſay there was ſome ſubtile pra-
ctice upon the
Philoblatici? and that we were betrayed
Vint.There’s no eſcaping forth. And Gentlemen,
It will but breed more ſcandal on my houſe, and the
whole plantation here, if you now make rebellious up-
roar. Yield your weapons, and welcome Juſtice but
like ſubjects new, and peace will follow.
Clot.But where’s
Nick? Where’s
Tonie?
Mih.They ſhall yield up their weapons. So do
Clot.Shall we, ſir, ſhall we?
Clot.So, ſir, I will then, not the Blade alone. But
[G6v]for
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
for your more ſecurity, the Battoon, There ſee my
Armes forth coming.
[Exeunt.
Mih.Say they ſhall have faire welcom, What are
Enter Nick. Dorcas, Ant. Kat. Luc.
Ant.Yes, as faſt as troth and holy words can binde
Mih.’Tis well. Now ſir, let me entreat your favour.
’Tis my firſt ſuit to you ſince I was your ſon.
That before others entrances diſtract our troubled
Scæne, theſe may be reconcil’d.
Down Brother
Nicholas.
Nick.Even unto the earth, ſir, and humbled with as
true a penitence, as ſon can be for wronging of a
father, I beg your pardon and bleſſing.
Croſ.Give it him, Brother
Rooksbill, I dare ſay
’twill make him a good man.
Rook.Heaven make him ſo. My bleſſing and my
prayers ſhall not be wanting.
Croſ.What? my Neece
Dorcas made an honeſt wo-
Gab.Was that the man that wrong’d my Couſin
Mih.Yes, and has now made ample recompence.
Enter Cockbrayne, Cit. Watch. Madge.
Cit.Here they are altogether, ſir.
Cock.Lay hands on all. Firſt on that old Ruffian,
the Incendiarie, that ſets the youthful bloods on fire
here with his Infernal diſcipline. Next, take his ſons,
there’s one, that young Blade there. Have I now
got within ye, Gentlemen? will you have Songs
ex
tempore? know ye me now? a ha! I’le be call’d the
[G7r]Weeder
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
Weeder of this Garden. Take up thoſe She weeds
there. I have the rank one here. I took her ſtragling
Rook.My Tenant, I take it, Mrs.
Margerie How-
Croſ.Your widow ſir, I think.
Mih.But for a ſhift ſir, now you know my aim.
Mad.O good your worſhip, as you came of a wo-
Cock.Peace Circes, ceaſe thy charmes. What clu-
ſter have we here now. O here’s another of the ſons
Rook.That’s my ſon now, ſir, by your leave, and
Cock.What Mr.
Rooksbil, are you here? what wo-
Croſ.My Neece, ſir, his ſons wife. And I’le baile
Cock.What Mr.
Croſwill, you among this Ginge
How will you ’ſcape commitment?
Croſſ.Why, Mr.
Cockbrayne? how his braines crow
Cock.Who’s here? your daughters too? but what
Croſ.I hope they’l prove my ſons, and be indiffe-
rent men in time, ſir, by that time their haire may
grow, or be reduc’t to an indifferent length.
Mih.That’s done on me already, ſir.
Croſ.Now he looks as like a Rogue as e’re he did
Gab.And ſir, for me, now that my Couſin is reſto-
red, and the wilde fury of my wine abated.
I do you the obedience of a ſon, acknowledging my
former formal habit was more of ſtubborneſſe then
true devotion. For which I beg your pardon.
[G7v]Croſ.
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
Croſ.There’s more deceit under theſe half Foot-
balls, then in whole pudding-bags. Well boyes, be
you indifferent ſons, neither two hot nor too cold. I
have found a fault in my ſelf, I confeſſe. I will re-
form it, and be an indifferent father.
Cock.O here’s the man I ſought, whom, I confeſs,
I am half ſorry to commit with the reſt, becauſe I
Ant.Hoping you will not ſtake that good opinion,
I’le now come nearer to you. And ſince here is ſuch
a convention of love and joy. I hope my offering
of a ſons true duty may finde
Idulgencie.
Cock.What? my ſon
Antonie?
Croſſ.How? how? your ſon that ſhould have had
my daughter? Come hither
Kate, now if thou lov’ſt
him, take him. Are you content, friend
Cock-
Cock.O ſir, moſt happily.
Croſ.Why run you not together?
Ant.It is too late, or needleſſe now for me to
Croſ.Is’t come to that? and if
I do not ſwindge
him–. Are you too good, ſir, for my daugh-
Ant.I do not ſay ſo, ſir.
Croſ.Huswife, do you like him?
Kat.No more than he does me, ſir.
Croſ.Get you together, or
I’le ſwaddle you both
into one, you perverſe fooles.
Ant.Sir, the truth is, we are married already.
Kat.’Tis ſo, indeed, ſir.
Croſ.Heyday! who am
I trow? how durſt you do
Kat.I had your conſent, ſir, you commanded me
to take my choice in vvhom
I pleaſ’d, before you
[G8r]Croſ.
The Covent-Garden Weeded.
Croſ.I cannot abide this vvrangling, Give you
Cock.Joy and my bleſſing on you. Why
I know
Croſ.You have done the Common-wealth a ſpecial
piece of ſervice the vvhile with your State-braines.
But let us make a night of this,
I pray.
Cit.Sir, the parties have given me sſtisfaction,
and
I am content they be releaſ’d.
Croſ.There’s an honeſt fellovv now, and looks
like one that would be beaten every day for ready
money. Go now, while ye are well, and be ſeen no
All.Never and’t pleaſe your vvorships, never.
Croſ.’Tvvas built for no such vermine. Hence avvay
And may the place be purg’d ſo every day.
’Tis no unvvorthy member may be found,
To peſter or to vilifie this ground.
That as it was intended, it may be
A Scæne for Vertue and Nobilitie.
[G8v]EPI-
E P I L O G U E.
TIS not the Poets Art, nor all that we
By life of Action can preſent on’t, ye
Can or ought make us to preſume a Play
Is good, ’tis you approve’t. Which that you may
It cannot misbecome us, ſince our gaines
Come by your favour, more then all our paines.
Thus to ſubmit us unto your commands.
And humbly ask the favour at your hands.
Another
’Tis done. And now that Poets can divine,
Obſerve with what Nobility doth ſhine
Faire Covent-Garden. And as that improves,
May we finde like Improvement in your Loves.
F I N I S.
(h)
