THE
COURT
BEGGER.
A
C O M E D I E.
Acted at the Cock-pit, by his
MAJESTIES Servants,
Anno 1632.
WRITTEN
By
RICHARD BROME
MART.
Hic totus volo rideat Libellus.
LONDON.
Printed for RICHARD MARRIOT, and
THO. DRING, and are to be ſold at their
Shops in Fleet-ſtreet, 1653.
[N3]
[N3v]
Drammatis Perſonæ.
| SIR Andrew Mendicant, an old Knight, turnd a pro- |
| jector. |
| Mr. Courtwit, a Complementer. |
| Mr. Swaynwit, a blunt Countrey Gentleman. |
| Mr. Citwit, a Citizens Son that ſuppoſes himſelfe a wit. |
| Mr. Daynty, a ſupſoſed Picturedrawer, but a Pick-pocket. |
| Sir Raphael, an old Knight that talkes much and would |
| be thought wiſe. |
| Sir Ferdinand, a Knight diſtracted for love of the Lady |
| Strangelove. |
| Frederick, in love with Chariſſa. |
| Gabriel, ſervant to Mendicant. |
| Doctor of Phyſick. |
| Three poore Projectors. |
| A Sowgelder. |
| A Boy. |
Lady Strangelove, a humerous widow, that loved to |
| be courted. |
| Philomel her Chambermaide. |
| Chariſſa, Mendicants Daughter. |
N 4P O R-
PROLOGUE.
WEe’ve cauſe to fear yours, or the Poets frowne
For of late day’s (he know’s not (how) y’are grown,
Deeply in love with a new ſtrayne of wit
Which he condemns, at leaſt diſliketh it,
And ſolemnely proteſts you are to blame
If at his hands you doe expect the ſame;
Hee’l tread his uſuall way, no gaudy Sceane
Shall give inſtructions, what his plot doth meane;
No handſome Love-toy ſhall your time beguile
Forcing your pitty to a ſigh or ſmile,
But a ſlight piece of mirth; yet ſuch were writ
By our great Maſters of the Stage and Wit,
Whom you approv’d: let not your ſuffrage then
Condemne’t in him, and prayſe’t in other men.
Troth Gentlemen let me adviſe yee, ſpare
To vex the Poet full of age and care,
How he might ſtrive to pleaſe yee and beguile
His humerous expectation with a ſmile,
As if you would be ſatisfy’d, although
His Comedy containes no antique ſhow.
Yet you to him your favour may expreſſe
As well as unto thoſe whoſe forwardneſſe
Make’s them your Creatures thought, who in a way
To purchace fame give money with their Play,
Yet you ſometimes pay deare for’t, ſince they write
Leſſe for your pleaſure than their own delight.
Which if our Poet fayle in, may he be
A Sceane of Mirth in their next Comedye.
[N4v]T H E
T H E
C O U R T
B E G G E R.
ACT I. SCENE I.
Mendicant, Chariſſa.
Men.YO’ have given him then his anſwer?
Heaven knowes with my much ſorrow. Such a Lover
So in all points deſerving of true worth,
And beſt indowments to make up a Man
That I ſhall never ſee———your pardon ſir,
Though you pulld back, by violence, my hand,
In which my heart was freely given to him,
It is not in your power or ſtrength of art
To beat a ſigh back, or reſtraine a teare
Which I muſt offer to his memory.
Men.Such ſtormes ſoone waſt themſelves in abſent
When light of Reaſon, and good Counſell ſhall
(Lovers
Breake forth and ſhine upon ’em: and for your part
Daughter, I know it ſhall. And, preſently,
[N5]I
The Court Begger.
I thus begin to diſſipate your errors,
Men.You ſay he is deſerving in all points.
Cha.My love emboldens me to tell you he is.
Men.Chariſſa, take me with you. Is he not
Deficient in that onely abſolute point
That muſt maintaine a Lady, an eſtate?
Cha.Love weighes not that.
Men.What can he ſhew you more
To take you with, then a wild head of hayre;
A very Limebuſh to catch Lady-birds?
A Tiſſue Doublet; and a Riband ſhop
Hung in his Hatbands, might ſet up a Pedler?
Can this maintaine a Lady?
Bin over inwardly acquainted with him.
Cha.Sir, he has Valour, Wit, and Honour, you well know
Hee’s of a noble Family extracted.
Men.What’s that a yeare? thoſe parts may be acquir’d
In winning of a ſtrumpet. But what Joincture
Can he propound to you? or, (in caſe he dyes,
Your Dowry being ſpent) what perſonall Eſtate
Iſt like hee’l leave you, but his Powder glaſſe,
His Combe and Beard-bruſh, and perhaps a Trunkfull
Of Elegies, Raptures, Madrigalls and Sonnets?
No let him goe; diſcard him: and embrace
The hopes that I have for thee in the hopefull,
Exquiſite Cavalier, Courtier and Souldier,
Scholler, (and what not!) brave Sir
Ferdinando:
There’s a Man riſing in the favour Royall,
And may in thee
Chariſſa, make me happy.
Cha.Sir you have given me liberty of ſpeech;
[N5v]And
The Court Begger.
And may be pleas’d to let me tell you now,
You aime at your own fortune, not at mine.
Men.I ſeeke no fortune, but for thy advancement:
All that I ſhall call mine muſt be thine owne.
Cha.I would be playner yet; beſeeching you
I be not thought too loſe in my obedience.
Cha.Your ayme has bin to raiſe
Your ſtate by Court-ſuits, begging as ſome call it,
And for that end you left your Countrey life,
And Lands too ever ſince my Mother dy’d,
Who while ſhee liv’d with beſt of womans judgement
Which held you from that courſe of ſelling faire
Poſſeſſions to enable you with money
To purchace
Wit at Court. You pardon me?
Cha.And for th’Exchange of a faire Manſion-houſe
Large fruitfull Fields, rich Medowes and ſweet paſtures
Well cropt with corne and ſtockd as well with Cattell,
A parke well ſtor’d with Deere too, and Fiſhponds in’t,
And all this for a lodging in the Strand now–
Men.No, no, on ſtill.
(Poultry
Cha.Your own fed Beefes and Muttons, Fowle and
Loaded your long boords then; and you had then
Neighbours could boaſt your hoſpitality,
And poore, that for the remnants prayd for you,
Now all concludes upon a two-diſhd table.
And whereas then you had a numerous Family
Of Servants and Attendants, out of which
For profit or for pleaſure you could call
Your Bayliffe, Groom, your Falconer, or your Huntſman,
Now ſir, a Varlet Coachman, and Footboy
Are all your Retinue; and for the Hounds
You kept, that made you ſport and Muſick, now
[N6]None
The Court Begger.
None but your project Beagles, that ſmell out
Where ſuch a forfeiture is to be begg’d;
Where one would purchaſe a Reprieve, another
A Pardon or a leaſe of Life Rope-free
For ready money: Then where Goods or Lands
Are found of men that make away themſelfes,
And ſo of fooles and madmen; All to ſet
Your trade of Begging up, and ſtill you beg:
But your own want of favour holds you back
From reaching any profit by ’t, becauſe
You beg by Mediators tongues, which you
Call Favorites, who reape the crop of all,
And leave you but the Gleanings; ſome ſmall pittance
To keepe alive the itch of begging in you–
Men.Shee ſpeakes home and within me, to the purpoſe,
Cha.Still waſting your own fortunes; till at laſt
You have no hopefull project left to thrive by
But to put me upon this ſuppos’d favorite
To beg for you when it is doubtfull yet
Whether hee’l take me with the Dowry, which
Mine Unkle left me, though you adde your projects.
Men.The noble Gallant loves thee, Girle, and holds
Thy Perſon and thy vertues Dowry enough.
Cha.He is a wanton Lover, full of change,
And at this inſtant ſingularly devoted
Unto that humorous Lady, the young Widow.
Men.The Lady
Strangelove?
To draw all mens affections to her ſervice,
And then abuſes all by ſcornes or ſlightings,
And this (they ſay) has made him almoſt mad.
Men.He mad! believe it not: his reaſon is
Married to him better then ſo. How now!
Ha’ you ſeene the noble Knight from me?
How did he entertaine my Meſſage? ha!
[N6v]Why
The Court Begger.
Why ſpeakſt thou not? what anſwer has he ſent?
Enter Gabrel.
Gab.Hee’s not Sir to be ſpoken with or ſeene
To any purpoſe, but by his Phiſitians.
Men.So ſodainly and dangerouſly ſick,
Gab.I cannot ſay how ſick
He is; nor can himſelfe give any account
Of his condition: for he is mad ſir.
Gab.Starke ſtaring mad; as mad
As you can thinke a Courtier muſt be
That is more mad then all the reſt.
Men.If this be true I ſinke, what is ſuppos’d
Gab.That ſir has puzzell’d all the Doctors
In weighing all his ſeverall wild affections;
One findes he was ambitious of Court favour,
And gueſſes he was croſſ’d in ſome great ſuite;
Another takes him as he was a Souldier,
And loſing coſt and travaile in the warre
Muſt loſe his wits for that. A third collects
He was a Poet that drunk too deepe of
Helicon,
And turnd his braine in clyming of
Parnaſſus:
A fourth conſidering that he was a Gamſter
Long and much favourd, and uprais’d by fortune
To mountaynous heapes of Gold, conjectures, that
Some late unlucky hand or chance at play
Hath with his money ſwept his wit away.
Men.Fy, theſe can be no cauſes to remove,
Or ſhake his ſettled judgement or his temper.
Gab.Then ſir a fiſt and youngſt head among
The learned men (what call you him for a Doctor?
Hay that affects gay clothes and Flanders Laces,
That trim effeminate Gentleman) he
[N7]Has
The Court Begger.
Has known this noble patient to have beene
An extreame Amoriſt, deſperatly devoted
Unto the ſervice of ſome threeſcore Ladies,
And honord every one the moſt in coſtly preſents,
Banquets and Verſes; and thinks the diſdaine
Of one or all of them has turnd his braine.
Cha.I told you ſir, the cauſe before; and nam’d
That humorous Lady for it, whom in heart
I can no leſſe then thanke.
And ſtirre not from my Chamber on my bleſſing
Till my returne, nor admit any one
Unto a conference with you.
Gab.Some of your project ſearchers wait without ſir,
Loden it ſeemes with new intelligences.
Men.They may come in: but as I feare they bring
Me little comfort, I am ſure I ſhall
Afford them none. Now ſirs, your buſineſſe?
Enter 3 Projectors.
I. Pro.We wait upon your honour my good Lord
To crave the knowledge of what good ſucceſſe
Your honor finds in our late ſuits my Lord.
Men.Why honor? why my Lord?
3. Pro.As all muſt doe hereafter.
In a ſhort ſpace of time, the world holds no
Proportion elſe, nor ſhall it more be ſayd
That money can buy Land; or great Eſtates
In Lands and Mannor-houſes be call’d Lordſhips.
1. 2. 3.Or wealth joynd with deſert attaine to honor.
Gab.So now the Game’s afoot. They hunt in full cry.
I. P.My Lord ’tis moſt apparant.
[N7v]2. P.
The Court Begger.
2. P.Wee’l mak’t appeare moſt plainly on our lives.
Gab.Their Lives and credits, ha, ha, ha.
I. P.That in the ſpace of one whole year our projects
Shall bring in fifty thouſand pounds to us,
And hundred thouſand to your ſelfe; and to
The Coffers Royall for full ſeaven years ſpace
64 Thouſand 783 l. 7s. 9d.
ob. q. per annum,
Tis here already caſt. Which to make good
Wee’l venture Lives and Goods.
2. P.Our Wives and Children.
(Mend. takes
3. P.We can ingage no more.
(the ſcroll and
Gab.A wondrous ſtrange ingagement
(peruſes it.
Your lives and goods; your wives and children gentlemen!
That’s too deep let, and queſtions the Kings Mercy:
Me thinks it were enough, for non-performance
You would ſubmit your bodies to perpetuall
Impriſonment at the Kings charge; and leave
Your wives and children to their ſeverall Pariſhes
You are ſtill faithleſſe ſir, in all projects.
I.But when you ſhall perceive the wealthy ſonnes
Dayly brought in, and be, continually,
Troubled with the Receipts (if you may be truſted
That have ſo little faith) when you ſhall ſoyle
And gall your fingers ends with telling money,
Yet find the lickings of ’em ſweet, you’l then
2.Meane time entreat my Lord
To put you to ſome Tellers Clearke to teach you
Ambo-dexterity in telling money.
Gab.Do you hear ſir? Can you give me two ſixpences
For a ſhilling———or any ſingle money?
Gab.Cry mercy, you weare none in ready coine,
But all in Bullion lockt up in your brave cheſts,
And there you have the treaſure of the
Indies;
[N8]Of
The Court Begger.
Of deeper value, could it be digg’d out,
Then all the
Hollanders have waited for
Theſe 7 yeares out of the Spaniſh plate fleets.
Gab.But put mine eye out (now I dare you to’t)
With any ſingle peece of ready money.
I. P.My Lord your man abuſes us here ſtrangely
With his old miſbeliefe. But ſtill we doubt not
Your honourable good opinion of us.
2. P.You have perus’d this weighty paper here.
Men.It weighes not all twelve graines.
Nay the whole platforme of a ſtately City,
Or a deſigne to conquer a whole Nation,
But doe you note the grounds, the Rules and Reaſons,
Firſt for the eaſineſſe of the ſeverall grants.
2. P.Next for performance of our undertakings.
3. P.And then the certainty o’ th’ propounded profits
I. P.Without all grievance unto the ſubject.
Fab.That’s no little marvaile.
I. P.Take ’em into particulars my Lord,
Firſt this for Perrukes. The Monopoly
Of making all the Perrukes male and female,
Through Court and Kingdome.
Gab.There’s a capitall project.
2. P.Note the neceſſity, that they be well made
Of no diſeas’d or infectious ſtuffe, of dead or living,
No verminous or ſluttiſh locks or combings,
But harmleſſe and ſound haire, of innocent,
Gab.They muſt then reape none
From Gallowſes, nor Hoſpitalls; from whence
They have had great ſupplies.
Said very well; For here’s a Reformation
[N8v]Of
The Court Begger.
Of that abuſe intended in theſe words
Gab.How if a man or woman ſhall deſire
To weare a friends hayre ſo departed; as
You his; or your wife yours; may’t not be had?
I. P.Or if your friend or Miſtris dye ſo, you
Procure the haire and bring it from the Gallows
To th’office, and it may be done accordingly.
Gab.You have in that ſaid very well Sir too.
I. P.Now out of this proviſion, what an infinite
Profit will riſe i’ th’ generall uſe of’em,
And multiplicity that will be worne
By people of all ſorts, degrees and ages:
The old to hide their naturall baldneſſe, and
The young and middle-ag’d their artificiall
I. P.They ſhall be brought into that reputation
That none ſhall be eſteem’d ſo ſound or wiſe
As publique wearers of them: which to effectuate
Tis requiſite that you obtaine a Mandat
Unto all Courtiers, that would be thought wiſe
To weare falſe hayre: becauſe clownes have been noted
To talke like fooles or mad men in their own.
I.What ſay to this my Lord,
Touching new faſhions of apparrell; ſutes,
Hats, Boots, Swords, Belts, Ribands, &c.
For every wearer of his firſt o’th’ faſhion
To pay a groat to th’King; and every Tradeſman
Two pence on every ſeverall piece he ſells
Of any ſuch new faſhion the firſt yeare?
Gab.And what may this pride money amount unto
Per annum, can you gueſſe?
Men.I will not meddle in it.
O[1]2. No
The Court Begger.
Men.No, nor your Perrukes neither.
3.What ſay to this my Lord of the Balconyes?
I.This then for ſucking out of cornes.
2.This then: that on the birth of every Girle
The Father pay a groat; to hearten men
To live ſoberly and get Souldiers.
I.This makes amends for all then. A new project
For buylding a new Theatre or Play-houſe
Upon the
Thames on Barges or flat boats
To helpe the watermen out of the loſſe
They’ve ſuffer d by Sedans; under which project
The ſubject groanes, when for the eaſe of one
Two abler men muſt ſuffer; and not the price,
Or pride of Horſe-fleſh or Coach-hire abated.
This ſhall bring flouds of gaine to th’ watermen
Of which they’l give a fourth of every fare
They ſhall boord at the floating Theatre,
Or ſet aſhore from thence, the Poets and Actors
Halfe of their firſt yeares profits.
I.This is a weighty one: For maſſy ſummes
That may be freely given out of the City,
To have but this aſſurance, that hereafter
They may ingroſſe the getting of their own
Children: by order tane that Cavaliers,
And Courtiers may no more invade,
Or mix with Tradeſmens wives: whereby tis thought
So many City Prodigalls have been gotten;
Onely the thrifty countrey Gentlemen
To be excepted: for by them ’tis gueſt
So many Citizens grow landed men.
O1vGab.
The Court Begger.
Gab.Were not they gotten by Projectors think you?
3.My Lord your ſervant jeeres us.
Gab.Heaven has heard my prayers.
Men.And will heare him or any man oppoſe
All that is put to me by way of project
To put me by all further hopes in ’em:
For (with hearts griefe I ſpeake it) he by whom
I onely hop’d to climbe (alas) is fallen.
Men.No, out of his Reaſon.
2.The noble Cavalier ſir
Ferdinando.
3.That late ſtood candidate for the favour royall,
Is he now fallen beſides himſelfe?
I.What have you then to doe my Lord
In lieu of all your ſervice but beg him?
Men.His greater and his nearer friends at Court
2.They ſhall not, never feare it.
I.Come we will make quick worke of this.
My Lord you ſhall diſburſe but twenty pieces.
So plaine that you ſhall ſay All’s yours,
Gab.But when he has travell’d
Till he has tir’d himſelfe, he ſhall returne,
And ſay All’s loſt, iſt not ſo Gentlemen?
Men.I will not part with any money ſirs.
I.Truſt me you doe not well to put my Lord
Off o’ his benefit, by diſheartning him
In this ſmall venture. Will you then be pleas’d
To give us but ten pieces.
O 2Men.
The Court Begger.
2.Five you ſhall my Lord,
And ſtand no longer thus in your own light.
I.A dinner then my Lord, but of one piece.
Men.My anſwers cannot pleaſe you. Anſwer ’em
Gab.I wonder how you having ſtretch’d your throats
With the loud ſounds of thouſands, hundred thouſands
Can, after all, ſo faintly whiſper forth
One piece; and that as much in vaine, as all
The maſſy ſummes: for all but brings you nothing,
It ſhewes you Gentlemen of reſolute patience;
And would take thankfully I warrant you
An od halfe crowne amongſt you: and what ſay you
To every man a kick on the condition?
What ſay you to one with tother?
Shall loſe your Maſter a hundred thouſand pound.
Gab.Goe coine your bullion braines into the money
And come againe. My maſter was
Your Lord even now, as he was Lord of Beggers.
I.I hope to live to ſee him beg of us.
Gab.Out hundreds, thouſands, ten thouſands, hundred,
thouſands, Millions, ten Millions, Millions upon Millions
Away, i’le ſtamp your buttocks into coyne elle.
(Ex. Pro-
The Devill ride that hindmoſt of ’em, for
(jectors
A raw bon’d Jade: Sfoot he has lam’d my toes.
Men.I am glad I am ſo rid of ’em, and now
As th’art my Servant and my loving Kinſeman–
Gab.To follow you in all things but in Projects.
Men.Looke to my Houſe and Daughter, that ſhe start
Nor any entrance be allowd to
Fredrick (not;
To re-entangle her in his Love. I know
[O2v]Thy
The Court Begger.
Thy vertue and thy valour can make good
My truſt impos’d in thee.
Gab.You need not feare ſir
But, good ſir, no more projects.
On which I’le ſet my reſt. Thoult ſay tis good.
Gab.Except it be the begging of this Madman
By which I will advance my houſe and name.
Exit.
Gab.The Beggers beſt is that he feeles no ſhame:
Sprecious what meane you? Ha’ you forgot ſo ſoone
Your Fathers ſtrict command, and he ſcarce gone yet?
Enter Chariſſa.
Cha.Alas hee’l then meet
Fredrick and divert him,
I ſaw him at the window making this way.
Gab.He gets no entrance to you. I muſt obay
A maſter though you can neglect a father.
Cha.Be not ſo cruell. Thou mayſt live to love,
And need the pitty of a friend.
And will do no more then you know how to aſke
For your own good. I underſtand your cauſe
And can relieve you if you’l yeild to councell.
Cha.You are my Kinſman; and have bin my friend,
Though you obſerve my father who, I feare,
Has not a fathers love towards me.
Gab.His love is great and certaine,
And all his travell is for your advancement:
But he goes blindfold on unproſperous wayes
Led by credulity. Projects! pox o’projects
The patron of his projects is (it ſeemes)
Pepper’d with madneſſe. Tis but Juſtice on him,
And now i’le give you a ſecret if you’l promiſe
O3Cha.
The Court Begger.
Cha.You ſhall rule me coſen.
Gab.This
Ferdinand, your fathers great Court-godling
Nere ſought you for a wife; but to have whor’d you:
(That is the Engliſh on’t) and to appeare
A right great man in th’act, he would ha’ made
By hopes and promiſes your credulous Father
The inſtrument of your proſtitution:
Which to effect (though ſtill he undertook
His hopefull projects) cunning Lawyer-like
He croſt or loſt him ſtill in all, on purpoſe
That poverty at length might urge him to
Gab.Away, ſome body comes.
Cha.Tis
Fredrick. I muſt ſee him.
Gab.You’l never ſee him more then. Go to your cham-
A little patience and he ſhall be yours.
(ber.
Cha.So dos a heart conſume in lingring fire,
When cooling hopes are caſt on hot deſire.
Exit.
Gab.Poore heart, I pitty her, and will labour for her.
Enter Frederick.
Fred.O
Gabriel! I am happy in finding thee,
Thy maſter abſent, whom I ſaw, in haſt
Now paſſing towards the Court. Where’s my
Chariſſa?
Fred.May not ſee her ſir.
Gab.May not! nay muſt not: ſhall not ſee her.
Fred.Y’are very plaine with me.
Warrants me ſpeake it ſir.
Fred.A villaine ſpeakes it.
Draw.
Gab.I have a ſword ſpeakes other language for me.
Fred.Can ſhe whoſe thoughts are truth, and written
Here in this breaſt, giving me ample welcome,
(here,
Give thee a countermand to bar me from it?
[O3v]Wouldſt
The Court Begger.
Wouldſt thou make her a double hearted monſter?
Repent thee of thy treſpaſſe yet and live.
Gab.Sir, if you thinke to fight, talke not too much;
Or, if you needs muſt talke, then heare as well.
Fred.What wouldſt thou ſay?
Gab.Sir, I have more to ſay
Then fits this place, ſince you are apt to quarrell;
And this no ground to buſtle on: nor indeed
Where I dare for my honeſty and truſt
Allow you longer ſtay. If therefore you
Will walke, I’le wait upon you; and direct you
In a more ready way to finde
Chariſſa.
Fred.Is ſhee not here i’ th’ houſe?
May come within his arme-reach of his money
In the Exchequer: but he muſt walke about
To finde due order e’re he draw it out.
Fred.The fellow’s honeſt, valiant, and diſcreet,
Full man, in whom thoſe three additions meet.
Gab.Sir, dare you truſt me?
Fred.Yes I dare; and why?
Becauſe if thou dar’ſt fight, thou dar’ſt not lie.
