ACT. III. Scene I.
Enter in the Tryman, attended by Iſabell, Jone,
Craſy, with an Urinall.
Jo.Take a good heart, the worſt is paſt,
Iſa.Reach the Bottle againe of Doctor
Stephens
Cra.No no, apply more warme cloaths to her ſto-
mack, there the matter lyes which ſends this diſtem-
perature into her braine. Be of good cheer Gentle-
Iſa.Nothing but Mr.
Wolſie ever in her mouth.
Jo.Pray Sir, how do you like her
? I am much af-
C 3Craſ.
The City Wit.
Craſ.Let me ſee, to night it will be full Moon. And
ſhe ſcape the turning of the next Tyde, I will give her
a gentle Vomit in the morning, that ſhall eaſe her ſto-
mack of this conflux of venomous humours, and make
her able to ſit a hunting Nag within this ſennight.
Jo.A rare man ſure. And, I warrant, well ſeen in a
ry.Uh, uh, uh, uh.
Cough and spit.
Craſ.Well ſayd, ſpit out gently, ſtraine not your
Craſ.Tis very well done. La’ you. Her colour be-
gins to come. Ile lay all my skill to a meſſe of
Tewks-
bury Muſtard, ſhee ſneezes thrice within theſe three
Enter Linſy-wolſie.
Lin.Good Sir want nothing, that your skill ſhall
approve neceſſary in this time of need. Good Wives
and kinde Neighbours, I thanke you for your cares.
Iſa.She does nothing but call for you Sir, pray ſpeak
Lin.Here Lady. How do you?
ry.Then I am even well me thinks .. agh .. agh ..
Lin.Shee’s very farr gone I feare, how do you find
Craſ.Dangerous enough Sir. For ſhee is ſicker in
minde then in body. For I finde moſt plainely the ef-
fects of a deep melancholly, falne through her diſtem-
perature of paſſion upon her Liver; much diſordering,
and withall waſting the vitals, leaving ſcarce matter
for Phyſick to worke on. So that her minde receiving
[C3v]the
The City Wit.
the firſt hurt, muſt receive the firſt cure.
ry.Agh agh ah ――pagh fagh―――
Cough up
in a Baſon
Craſ.So ſo
: Straine not your ſelfe too hard. No
Here’s melancholly and choller both in plenty.
Jo.He ſpeaks with great reaſon, me thinks, and to
the purpoſe, I would I underſtood him.
Craſ.Do you not know, Sir, any that has offended
her by open injury, or unkindneſſe?
Lin.Alas Sir, no ſuch thing could happen ſince her
Craſ.Then, on my life, tis Love that afflicts her.
Craſ.I have toucht her to the quick. I have found
her diſeaſe, and that you may prove the abler Doctor
Lin.Who I? Alas I beleeve no ſuch matter.
ry.Mr.
Wolſie, Mr.
Wolſie.
Craſ.Here he is Lady. Pray ſpeak your minde to
him. Muſt I pull you to her? Here he is. What do
you ſay to him? Pray ſpeak.
Craſ.She hath ſomething troubles her that con-
cernes onely you. Pray take her by the hand, do as I
intreat you. Lady we will go, and leave you in private
ry.Pray do. O but do not, pray do not.
Craſ.Do you perceive nothing in this paſſion of
How does ſhe feel your hand?
Lin.O, ſhe does ſo quiddle it, ſhake it, and gripe it!
Craſ.You are then the man Sir, the happy man. For
ſhe ſhall recover ſuddenly.
C 4Try.
The City Wit.
Try.What will you have me dye inteſtate. Is not
my Will made, as I directed?
Io.Where are you
Mr. Sarpego, with the Will.
Enter Sarpego, Ticket, Rufflit, Toby.
Sar.Ad manum. Sweet Buds of Generoſity, for-
beare
: you may
Admirare, at the abundance here
ſpecified: But not find a Legacie bequeath’d among
Ruff.I only wiſh your health, Lady; and that it
may, or might have been my happineſs to ſue to you
for Love; as I do now to the higheſt power for Life.
Tob.Would I were married to her, as ſhee is; and
twere but for an hower, I car’d not. Had my mother
been but acquainted with her, before ſhee fell ſick,
Sar.O Dij immortales! A rich Widdow ſhall have
Suiters on her Death-bed.
Try.Good Sir, It is too late to ſpeak
To
of theſe things. I only crave and wish
Ruff.
your prayers in your abſence: This place can yield
no pleaſure to you I know.
Mr. Wolſey, pray your
hand againe
: I could be even content to live me thinks,
if I had but ſuch a man as you to my Huh, uh, uh,
Craſ.By your leave. Pray by your leave. Help
Women. Beare up her Body a little. Bow it forwards.
So, ſpeak to her, Sr. Good Lady drink of this Cordyal.
She drinckes.
Lin.How do you now forſooth?
Craſ.,What now ſhee is drinking――Now ſpeake
Sir, you or no man muſt do her good.
[C4v]Craſ. Well
The City VVit.
Cras.Well ſaid Sir, ſpeak chearfully to her.
Lin.How dee doe? how dee doe, Miſtris T
ryman
Tic.Very comfortably ſpoken!
Lin.Alas ſhee cannot ſpeak. I’ll call my Neigh-
bour Miſtres
Sneakup. If any body can make her
Tob.I’ll call my Mother for you. Shee will make
her ſpeak, if ſhee have but a word left in her belly
Enter Pyannet and Ioſina.
Py.How comes it Mr.
Wolſey, that you have a
Gentlewoman ſick in your houſe, and not ſend for me
?
Let me feel her hand. Alaſſe ſhe is ſhrewdly diſtem-
per’d. When had ſhee a ſtoole Sir, Prithee Daughter
ſtep home to my Cloſet, and bring the Viall of――—
my owne Water, which ſtands next to my blew Vel-
Ioſ.That’s my Doctor was with me to day
Exit.
Py.Shee’s a young Gentlewoman; may have many
Children yet, let me note her eyes
: I finde nothing
there. When did you ſee her water Mr. Doctor?
Craſ.What Devill ſent this fury among us?
Py.In troth I beſhrew you, Mr.
Wolſey, you ſent
not for me, but J hope I come not too late. Pluck up
a Womens heart, you ſhall find a good Neighbour of
Try.I will thank you in my Will. I ſhall not live
Py.Alas talk not of your will. You ſhall have time
enough to think of that many yeares hence.
[C5]raſ. I
The City VVit.
Craſ.I tell her ſo, Lady, yet ſhee calls for it ſtill.
Try.Pray let me ſee it, that I may ſigne it.
Uh
Py.Lord how my Daughter ſtayes. Good Sir
Andrew Ticket! worthy Mr.
Rufflit! My Sonne T
o-
bias is highly honor’d in your noble Acquaintance,
and Courtly converſation.
ic.We rather hold our ſelves dignified, in being
ob.I aſſure you Mother, we are the three of the
Py.I moſt intirely thank you for him. And I do
beſeech you make your ſelves no ſtrangers to my poor
houſe. Wee are alone; can give but light enter-
tainement, my Daughter and I; ſince my Sonne
Cra-
ſies misfortune drave him from us―――
Enter Ioſina with a Viall.
O welcome Daughter ―――I beſeech you noble
Sirs eſtrange not your ſelves to us, your Servants.
Cra.Pox o’your Complement.
Py.Give me the Viall Daughter. Take up the La-
dy. Taſt of this. It is a Compoſition of mine owne
Py.Well done. Nay it will make you break wind,
Ticket and Rufflit Court Ioſina.
ic.By the ſervice I owe you ſweet Miſtres, tis un-
fained. My Wife deſires to ſee you.
Ruff.As I can beſt witneſſe; And feares you enjoy
not the libertie of a Woman, ſince your Husbands de-
[C5v]parture
The City Wit.
parture. Your Brother having promis’d too, to con-
o.It is confeſt, and I will do it.
ic.Where the beſt entertainment a poore Ladyes
chamber can afford, ſhall expect you.
Craſ.Sfoot, tis time to part you――Miſtres, I be-
ſeech your help, joyn’d with your vertuous Mothers.
He pulls her aſide.
Ioſ.You forget the young man, that can Dance
Write, and keep Counſell.
Craſ.I forget you not Lady. But I wiſh you to be-
ware of theſe Courtiers, till I tell you what they are
:
Ruff.I’ll be hang’d if this Doctor be not of her
Py.How is it now, good heart?
ry.Much enlightned, I thank Heaven and you.
Now, pray, read Sir my
Will.
ic.O let us heare the Will.
Sar.I
Iane T
ryman of Knockers hole, in the County
of
Cornwall, Widdow, Sick in Body, but whole in
Mind, and of perfect memory, do make my laſt Will
and Teſtament, in Manner and Forme following.
Craſ.As for the Manner and Forme tis no matter.
To the Legacies, briefly.
Sar.Hum hum.
Imprimis, A Dole of Bread to be
given to the Poore of this Parish――five pound.
ry.Stay. This I intreat of you
Mr. Wolſey, that
whether I live or dye, this Dole may be given to mor-
row. It was the Charge of my Mother to ſee it done;
Saying, it was better to take the Prayers of the Poore
with me, then leave them to be ſent after.
Lin.It shall be done: and you, I hope, shall ſee it.
Sar.To Mr.
Sarpego, the Writer hereof, A Mourn-
[C6]ing
The City Wit.
ing Gown, and forty pound, to Preach at the Fune-
Sar.Di boni! No Tis forty shillings.
Item to my
Nephew, Sir
Marmaduke T
revaughan of St.
Mine-
ver, one thouſand pound in Gold.
Item to my Ne-
phew Mr.
Francis Trepton, one thouſand pound in
Gold.
Item to my Kinſman, Sir
Stephen Leggleden,
I do forgive two thouſand pound, for which his Lands
are Mortgaged to me.
Item to his Daughter, my
God-daughter
Iane Leggleden, five hundred pound in
money; my beſt Baſon and Ewer; two ſilver Flaggon
Pots, and three ſilver and gilt ſtanding Cups.
Item
to the poore of the Pariſh of
Knockers-hole, ten pound,
and forty pound towards the reparation of their
Church.
Item to Mr.
Linſey wolſey the Ring, which
was my Wedding Ring, and fifty other Rings, with
ſeverall ſtones in my Trunck, in his houſe, valued at
two hundred and fifty pounds.
Item to all his ſer-
vants, and to the Women that attended me in my
ſickneſſe, five pound a piece.
Jone.Now the Lord receive her to his mercy.
Iſa.My Legacy will ſave her life; for never any
body dyed yet, that bequeathed me any thing.
Sar.Item, to my Page
Jeffery Crack forty pound.
And all my other Servants ten pound a peice.
Item to
my Neece
Barbara Tredrite five hundred pound; my
ſecond Baſon and Ewer, a dozen of ſilver Diſhes, and
four dozen of ſilver Spoones. Laſtly, all the reſt of my
Lands, Jewels, Plate, Money, Debts, Moveables and
Unmoveables, to my dear and loving Brother, Sir
Gre-
gory Flamsted, whom I make my full Executor.
In
cujus rei teſtimonium, &c. This is the briefe of it.
ry.Tis well. Onely add to it ...
Uh ... A Gold
Chaine also in my Trunk to this vertuous Gentlewo-
[C6v]Man
The City Wit.
man. And another Chaine, that is there of Pearle, to
her Daughter. To this learned Doctor twenty pound.
And to the Gentlemen which have viſited me, for them
and their freinds an hundred pound to be ſpent in a
Sar.Hoc nihil refert. I muſt write all over againe
ry.Do ſo then. And make your forty ſhillings five
Sar.Gratias vel ingentes ago. It ſhall be done―
Exit.
ry.Now Mr.
Wolſie, and your vertuous Neighbour
here, I intreat, that when I have ſigned this Will, that
you keep it til my Brother comes to Town. This Doctor
shall direct you in all. And that he may be the better
able ſo to do, I deſire you all that I may a while be
Omnes.
With all our hearts.
Exit omnes
præter Craſy,
Try.Are they all gone?
Tryman.
Now Mr. Doctor, what think you of the ſick Widow?
Has she done her part hitherto?
Craſ.Beyond my expectation! Better then I for a
ry.You are right. And I am even the ſame for a
Widow as you for a Doctor. Do not I know you? Yes
good Mr.
Craſy. I dare truſt you, becauſe you muſt
truſt me. Therefore know, that I the rich Widow am
no better, then a Lady that muſt live by what I beare
about me. The vulgar tranſlation you know, but let
them ſpeak their pleaſure, I have no Lands, and ſince
I am borne, muſt be kept, I may make the beſt of my
owne, and if one member maintaine the whole body,
Craſ.I collected as much by your young Whiskin
[C7]Try. It
The City Wit.
ry.It was by my direction that he did ſo. And, by
my Inſtructions, he has had an Eye upon you in all
your diſguiſes ever ſince your pretended Journey out
of Towne. Nay ſtartle not, nor muſe at my acquain-
tance with you: I have had you in’my Purlews, be-
fore you were a Freeman: And will hereafter give
you certaine tokens of it. In the mean time, if you
comply with me, you can be no looſer by it. I am grown
weary of my old courſe; and would faine, by wiſer,
do my ſelfe good, before Age or Diſeaſes make it too
Cra.I will work cloſe and friendly with thee.
Therefore ſay, this rich Cockſcombe is thine owne.
O here comes your Pigg-wiggen.
Try.He is of Counſell, and one of us. He is indeed
my Brother, and has been one of the true blew Boyes
of the Hoſpitall; one of the ſweet ſingers to the City
Funeralls with a two penny loafe under his arme.
Crac.Well: He never ſung to the wheele in Saint
Try.Nay
Jeff, be not angry; thou haſt ſung to the
Organs I know, till fearing their downfall, thou be-
tookſt thy ſelfe into my more certaine ſervice. All
Craſ.Yes, yes, we muſt all agree, and be linckt in
Crac.By Indenture Tripartite, and’t pleaſe you,
like
Subtle, Doll, and
Face.
Craſ.Witty
Jeff. I cannot ſee which can be ſpar’d
from the reſt, leaſt the whole trade break.
Crack Sings.
Then let us be freinds, and moſt freindly agree.
The Pimp and the Punck and the Doctor are three,
That cannot but thrive. when united they be.
The Pimp brings in cuſtome, the Punck ſhee gets
[C7v]Of
The City Wit.
Of which the Phyſitian is ſure of his meaſure,
For work that ſhe makes him in ſale of her pleaſure.
For which, when ſhe failes by diſeaſes or paine,
The Doctor new Vamps and upſets her againe.
Craſ.Thou art a brave Lad, and in the high way of
Crac.Not the high
Holborne way, I hope Sir.
Craſ.And for you Damſell, as I ſayd before, ſay to
your ſelfe, the Match is yours.
ry.I mean to ſay, and know it ſhortly. Some three
dayes hence all may be compleated. Now draw the
Curtaines; and follow your affaires, while I put on
my ſick Face againe.
Uh, uh, uh.They put in the Bed, and withdraw all.
Exeunt.
ACT. III. Scene II.
Enter Sarpego.
Accoſt that Catlinarian Traytor, that defea-
ted me of my ten pound, I have a precogitated Ora-
tion ſhould make him ſuſpend himſelfe. But
Abiit, e-
vaſit, erupit. Or if the rich Widow would have dyed,
there had been a ſupply. But ſhe is nearer a Nuptiall,
then a Funerall: And hopeleſſe
Sarpego, that ſhould
wed, has not to furniſh him to his intent,
Væ mihi mi-
ſero nec Aurum, nec Argent ... tum! Here comes my
[C8]Enter
The City VVit.
Enter Bridget.
Bri.O, are you here Sir? I was to ſeek you. My
old Miſtreſſe would ſpeak with you inſtantly.
Sar.My Legitimate Spouſe, when is our day of con-
Bri.Our day of conjunction? Mary faugh Good-
man Fiſte. Our day of conjunction?
Sar.Did you not once vow you did love me
?
Bri.Did not you once ſwear you had money?
Sar.Hic jacet, I am now but a dead man.
Enter Pyannet, Sneakup, Craſie .... like
a Court-Meſſenger.
Py.O where’s Mr.
Sarpego? Fortunate Mr.
Sarpe-
go? Venerable Mr.
Sarpego? O Sir, you are made.
Never thinke under right worſhipfull. Imagine nothing
beneath Damaſque Gownes, Velvet Jackets, Satten
Sleeves, Silk Nightcaps, two Pages and a Footcloth.
Sar.The Son of
Phoebus rectifie your Brain-pan.
Sne.Indeed, and’t ſhall pleaſe your Worſhip, it
Py.It is! What is it? You will be ſpeaking, will
you? And your Wife in preſence, will you? you ſhew
your bringing up. Maſter
Sarpego, bleſſe the time that
ever you knew the Progeny of the
Sneakups: my wor-
ſhipfull Son and Heire apparent hath preferred you to
be the young Prince his Tutor. Here’s
Mr. Holywater,
a Gentleman; of place, a Courtier; of Office, is ſent
Craſ.Right fortunately-learned Sir. So paſſionate-
ly doth his Grace approve the Language, Literature,
and Haviour of your ſometimes Pupill,
Maſter To-
Craſ.That I was, with all expedition, commanded
to intreat your inſtant Attendance.
[C8v]Sar
The City Wit.
Craſ.’Tis even ſo Sir; You are like to poſſeſs a
Princes eare; you may be in place, where you may
ſcorn your foes; countenance your friends; cheriſh
vertue, controule vice, and deſpiſe fortune
: Yes ſure
ſhall you Sir. And (which I had almoſt forgot) your
old Pupill intreats you to ſend him by me the ten
pound he lent you
: An od ten pound, that he may be
furniſh’d with the more ſeemly Complements to con-
Py.Whiſt Mr.
Sarpego. Let not your poverty be
read in your face. Here’s ten pieces. Bear it as your
own payment: You talk of ten pound for my Son,
Sar.O, an od driblet. Here, Friend, I uſe not to
carry Silver: Convey it in Gold.
Bri.I hope, dear Love, you will not forget your
Sar.Poor Maid, I will prefer thee to ſcratch my
head; make my Bed; wash my Shirt, pick my toes, and
evacuate my Chamberpot. I will inſtantly procure
mee attire, fitting my fortune, and attend the Grace
Bri.Now am I but a dead woman.
Craſ.I am much griev’d for’t. It was your ſonnes
much labouring, that Mr.
Craſie was ſent for, to ſell
his Grace ſome Jewells
: But ſince his fortunes are
ſo ſunk that he hides his head, I can but lament his
Py.Shall I tell you Sir, (pray you husband ſtand a-
ſide;) My Son-in-Law
Craſie is not now worth .... his
very wife. We hop’d he would have prov’d a crafty
Merchant, and he prov’d an honeſt man, a Begger (if
I chance to ſpeak above your capacity, I pray tell me of
D[1]it)
The City Wit.
it) And as I ſaid, when I perceiv’d he began to melt,
and that every ſtranger abuſed him; I, having ſome
wit, fell too, and moſt cozen’d him my ſelf. I look’d
for my daughters good: And ſo betwixt us, found
the trick to get, or ſteale from him two Jewells of
good deep value, being indeed the main of his reſt of
Fortune. Now Sir, I come to you.
Craſ.I, now you come to the point.
Py.Right Sir: For there is no woman, though
she uſe never ſo many by-words, but yet in the end
she will come to the point. Now Sir, I having theſe
Jewells, will ſend them by my huſband. A poor eaſie
weak man, as you ſee; but very obedient in truth ...
Py.Yes, do you mark? By my husband. But now
note my wit: His Grace knows not
Craſie: My huſ-
band, habited like a Citizen, shall take the name of
Craſie upon him; offer his Jewells to the Prince; you
shall preſent them; praiſe them and raiſe them: His
Grace payes; my husband returns; and we will share.
Py.Away then. No Complement among
Exit.
good wits; but away. Come your ways hi-
Craſ.
ther, good man; Put off your hat; Make a leg;
Look ſimply. Why ſo! Pish, ne’re tell me
: He will
make a rare Citizen. I have Jewells for you to carry
Sneak.Yes forſooth, I’le carry them.
Py.La! you are ſo quick! I have charg’d you not
to shoot your bolt, before you underſtand your mark.
And you shall carry them like a Citizen; call your
ſelf
Craſie; ſell them at my price; and now caſt no
further. You ſee the limits of your underſtanding.
Now Sir, how will you bear your ſelf to his Grace?
[D1v]How
The City Wit.
How behave your ſelfe at Court?
Sneak.I hope I am not too wiſe to learne.
Py.Why, that was well ſpoken. Modeſt miſtruſt
is the firſt ſtep to knowledge. Remember that ſen-
tence. Now mark. I will inſtruct you: When you
come at the Court gate, you may neither knocke nor
piſſe. Do you mark? You go through the Hall co-
ver’d; through the great Chamber cover’d; through
the Preſence bare; through the Lobby cover’d; through
the Privy Chamber bare; through the Privy Lobby
cover’d; to the Prince bare.
Sneak.I’le doe’t I warrant you. Let me ſee. At the
Court gate neither knock nor make water. May not a
Py.Umh. yes: but (like the Exchequer payment)
Sneak.Through the great Chamber bare.
Sneak.Cover’d? Well: Through the Preſence co-
Sneak.Bare? I will put all dowe in my Table-book,
Py.Well thought on. Something he has in him
like my husband! But now you come before the brow
of Royalty. Now for your carriage there Sir: Sup-
poſe me the Prince. Come in, and preſent. Here ſits
the Prince. There enters the Jeweller. Make your ho-
nors. Let me ſee you do it handſomly.
Sneak.Yes, now I come in; make my three legs ...
Sneak.Nay, that I know not.
D 2Py. An’t
The City Wit.
Py.An’t pleaſe your Grace. I have certain Jewells
to preſent to your liking.
Sneak.An’t pleaſe your Grace, I have certain Jewels
to preſent to your liking.
Py.Is this
Craſie, that had wont to ſerve me with
Jewells? It is that honeſt man, ſo pleaſe your High-
neſſe. That’s for M.
Holywater, the by-flatterer to ſpeak.
You are a Cuckoldly Knave, Sirrah, and have often a-
buſed me with falſe and deceitfull ſtones.
Sneak.My ſtones are right, ſo pleaſe your Ex-
Py.Why that was well, Very well. I perceive
there is a certain infection taken with lying with a wo-
man that hath a good wit. I finde it by my husband.
Come, I’le diſguiſe you, and away to Court in-
Sneak.Truly wife, I fear J ſhall be diſcover’d among
Py.No, no, A fool is never diſcover’d among mad-
ACT. III. Scene III.
Enter Tryman, Craſy.
Craſy in his Court habit.
Craſ.WEll
Dol, (that thou ſaiſt is thy name)
though J had forgotten thee, J proteſt.
About
London-wall was it (ſaiſt thou?
) Well, J can-
not but highly commend thy wiſdom in this, that ſo
[D2v]well
The City Wit.
well haſt mended thy election; from being a foun-
tain of aches, bald brows, and broad plaſters, thus to
Try.I did conſider, and I thinke rightly, what I
was; and that men that lov’d my uſe, lov’d it but to
loath me: Therefore I chang’d my ſelf into this ſhape
of a demure, innocent Countrey Widdow, that had
ſcarce beauty enough to be tempted, but not wit e-
nough to be naught; and quite forſook the path I
trod in, and betook me to this private courſe of co-
Craſ.But all my wonder is at the means, how thou
gott’ſt into this houſe and reputation. And to be held
a woman of ſuch an eſtate.
Try.That ſhall bee made plaine to you here-
Enter Crack.
Now Brother
Geffrey, where left you M
Wolſie?
Crack.Among the Mercers, ſo troubled, as if all
the Sattin in
Cheapſide were not enough to make you
a wedding Gowne. He is over-joy’d that his happy
day is at hand; and I over-heard him invite one ſpe-
ciall friend to his Nuptialls. He cannot contain him-
ſelf. On a ſudden he fell a ſinging,
O ſhee’s a dainty
Widdow. O are you come Sir, in your new ſhape?
Dos not that beard fit you handſomly
? Thank my ac-
quaintance with the Players.
Craſ.I thinke thou art acquainted any way, to ſet
Crac.If you can perform your part as well, ’tis well.
Heark, I hear him coming.
D 3Enter
The City Wit.
Enter Linſie VVoolſie.
Lin.VVhere are you ſweet Widdow? Look you,
Look you
: How do you like theſe patterns?
Try.Sir, here’s a Gentleman has a Letter to
you
: He tells me it imports the making, or the undo-
ing of his deareſt friend.
Lin.From whom I pray you?
Lin.
Cra.Your ſometimes neighbor Sir, M.
Craſy.
reads.
Try.It ſhall take effect, doubt not.
Cra.He ſcratches his head, though.
Try.He had as liefe part with his blood as his
Lin.M.
Craſy writes to me for thirty pound; the
value of a Ring I had of him. I grant I am to pay
threeſcore at my day of Marriage. But we are all
mortall. And who knowes whether I ſhall live till to
Craſ.If not, Sir, your Bond is due to night
: For
it is equally payable at your hour of death.
Lin.O, but ſuch payments never trouble a man.
Try.Are you in Bonds, M.
Woolſie, for your day of
Lin.Only for this ſixty pound. ’Tis for that Ring
you weare, and I gave you upon our Contract. ’Tis
worth thirty pound ready mony.
ry.Then when you are married, you may ſay you
paid the reſt for your wife. Pray Sir make even ſuch
reckonings before you wed. It will ſhew nobly in
you towards your poor Creditor, and be a ſpeciall
argument of your love to me, your wife. Pray diſ-
charge it, I ſhall not think you love me elſe.
Heark you Sir, if you will take thirty pound in full
[D3v]payment
The City Wit.
payment, and give me in my Bond, here is your mony,
’Tis your beſt courſe. Alas, I am an unlikely fellow for
wedlock. What woman, thinke you, would beſtow
her ſelf upon me, a ſtale Batchellor, unhandſome and
poor .. not worth above ſix or ſeven thouſand pound
?
Do; take thirty pound.
aſide.
Craſ.If you pleaſe to befriend Mr.
Craſy but with
thirty pound, Ile ſet it receiv’d upon the Bond. Here
it is. And he ſhall demand no more till it be due.
ry.Pray Sir pay it all, and take in your Bond. You
ſhall be married within theſe two dayes; to morrow,
if you pleaſe: VVhat uſe will your money yeeld you
for a night? Pray pay it. In truth I’le pay it elſe. ’Tis
Lin.Saiſt thou ſo, Sweetheart. Come Sir. Come
in and tell your money―――
Exit.
Craſ.And thank you too, good M.
Linſie VVolſie,
that knew ſo well, a bargaine was a bargaine, and
would not part with your money to be laugh’d at a-
mong your neighbours. I would heartily now, if I
could intend it. But I muſt purſe your money, and
then about my Court affairs. This wench I am in-
finitely beholden to. She remembers ſome old curte-
ſie that I have forgotten. Perhaps I pidled with her
when I was Prentice.
Exit.
D 4ACT
The City Wit.
ACT. III. Scene IV.
Enter Sarpego, in gorgeous Apparell.
Sar.THis is the Preſence. I am much amaz’d, or
ſtupified, that Mr. T
obias S
neakup, my quon-
dam Pupill, attends not my Conduct! Ha
! So in-
ſtant was his Grace, his importunity to enjoy me,
that although I purchaſed the loan of Cloaths, yet I
had not vacation, nor indeed variety to ſhift my
ſhirt. And now I come to Court, I feel certain little
Cattell of infamous generation about me, that do
moſt inſeparably haunt me. Now if (when the Prince
ſurveyes me) any of them being ſtrangers here, ſhould
peep to behold ſtrange ſights, and his Grace perceive
them, what ſhould I anſwer?―――
Craſie at the hangings.
Craſ.O, my glorified
Pedant in his moſt naturall
Sar.I will ſay it was by influence of the heavens;
or, to appear the more perfect Courtier at the firſt
daſh, I will ſay, that though my outſide were glorious,
yet of purpoſe I left my inſide lowſie.
Enter Sneakup like a Citizen.
Sed, O Dii!
Quem video? nonne Mr.
Sneakup?
Cra.See my worſhipfull Father-in-Law! Now the
Woodcocks ſhoot into the glade.
[D4v]Sneak.
The City VVit.
neak.Pray ye peace, you muſt not know me.
ar.O monſtrum horrendum! May not you and I
neak.Pray go home, and ask my wife.
Enter Craſy in haſte.
Craſ.Mr.
Craſie. Is not one Mr.
Craſie here?
neak.Yes Sir. Here is Mr.
Craſie for a need Sir.
Craſ.Well done
: Be bold Sir. Let not your diſſi-
mulation be read in your eyes. You know me; give me
Craſ.Let me alone to preſent them to his Grace,
and praiſe them, before you are call’d.
Craſ.Yes; For you know I muſt not ſeem to in-
deare them before your face: For that would ſmell
Craſ.But betwixt us both wee’l make a ſhift to cheat
him. Stay you here. I will returne inſtantly. O Mr.
S
arpego! Your Pupill will come and conduct you pre-
Thus ſometimes, by deceit, deceit is known:
’
Tis honeſt craſt, by wit to get ones own....Exit.
Enter Ticket, Rufflit, Toby.
Sar.My
Nuper Alumnus! Come, preſent me to
the Grace of Greatneſs. I am ready; behold I am
approach’d according to thy intreats, to approve thy
praiſe, and mine own perfection. Set on
: His Grace
ſhall ſee that we can ſpeake true Latin, and conſtrue
Ludovicus vives: Go, ſet on.
[D5]Tob. I
The City VVit.
Tob.I cry you mercy Sir. Upon my troth, I tooke
you for Mr. S
arpego. my learned Tutor. He is very like
him; Is he not Gentlemen? But now I come to my
ſelfe againe, I remember this was never his walke, nor
ar.Sent you not a Nuntius, or a Meſſenger for me,
intimating, that it was his Grace his inſtant deſire, to
entertain me as his Inſtructor?
ic.Alas, he has over-ſtudied himſelf! You were
beſt let blood in time Sir.
ar.Sent I not you, by the ſame meſſenger, your
Tob.My ten pound? Ha, ha ha: I would laugh ifaith,
if you could bob me off with ſuch payment.
Ruff.Sure Sir, you uſe ſome Dormitaries. Beſt ſhave
your head, and ’noint it with Oyl of Roſes.
neak.Pray peace ſon. The plot will be diſcover’d
neak.The Jewells are ſent in. What, I am Mr.
Cra-
ſie now, you know, I ſhall be ſent for in to his Grace
ob.Midſummer Moon
! Midſummer Moon!
neak.In very truth ſon, hit as ’twill, I ſay we are
beholding to Mr.
Holywater.
ob.Heaven not bleſſe me, if I underſtand not the
Baboons mumpings better then your ſpeech. You are
more dark then
Delphos. What
Holywater?
neak.Why the Gentleman, you know, you ſent to
bring M.
Craſie to ſerve his Grace with Jewells.
ob.Father, Heaven pardon me: For ſure I have a
great deſire to call you Cockſcomb. I ſent no man;
nor is there any ſo ſtiled as
Holywater about the
[D5v]Tic.
The City Wit.
ic.Do you not want ſleep ſir
?
Ruff.Or have you not ſeen a ſpirit ſir?
ic.Or have you not over-mus’d, or over-thought
your ſelfe, as wee doubt Mr. S
arpego, here, has
ob.Or has not my mother over-beaten you, fa-
neak.Son, I am not ſo very a foole, but I perceive
I am made a ſtark Aſſe. Oh ſonne, thy father is co-
zen’d; and thy mother will beat me indeed, unleſſe
your charity conceal me in the Court here, till her fu-
icket.Hee ſhall ſtay at my Wives Cham-
Rufflit.And there inſtruct us in the paſſages of
ob.Do not weep father. My Lady T
icket will
Ruff.Adieu Mr. S
arpego. Lure your braines backe
ar.S
ic tranſit gloria Mundi. The learned is Co-
ny-caught; and the lover of
Helicon is laugh’d at.
The laſt ſix-pence of my fortune is ſpent; and I will
[D6]ACT
