The Northern Laſſe.
Act. II. Sce. I.
Fitchow.
Fit.The ſtrangenes of this Gentlemans action will not out
of my mind yet. Sir
Phillip could not but haue a hand in it.
Do’s he repent his bargaine already; and deſire to bee quit
with loſſe of his earneſt? ’Tis but his faith and troth.
Enter Widgine, Anvile.
Wid.Siſter, where are you? My Governour and I are
come to waite upon you in ſir
Phillip Luckleſſe coach. It
waits at doore for you; and what to doe thinke you?
Fit.I can not tell. Perhaps to inuite me forth into the
aire of
Hideparke or
Maribone ; or elſe—
Wid.Or elſe me no or elſes, ſiſter, you cannot gueſſe it.
And I was a foole to aſke you the queſtion, now I think on’t.
Fit.That was well remembred brother.
Wid.Siſter, you are to be a Lady, within this halfe houre.
Your knight is ready, ſo is the Parſon too. My Gouernor
An.Yes Lady; and that hee intreats you, to beare with
the ſodaineſſe of the occaſion, which hee proteſts, deepely
vrges him to be married preſently; deſiring you not to trou-
ble your ſelfe in examination of his reaſons: for vpon his
honeſty and honour, the end of it is for good to you both.
Come ſweet Madame (now I am bold to giue you your dew
title) your knight is ready preſt on his aduentures (dee heare)
and tis onely you, that he ſeeks to incounter.
Wid.There’s a ieſt now: but ſhee vnderſtands it not.
He makes her an Infidell, a wild beaſt or a Monſter, by that
word Incounter; what doe Knights adventurers incounter
elſe? looke all the
Mirror over. Hee’ll incounter her. O the
An.’Tis as I ſay Madame (dee heare) the good fit’s come
Wid.Ever at the tayle of his dee heare, I am ſure to
ſmell a ieſt: the fits come on him!
Fit.This ſodaine importunity confirmes my former
doubt: He thinkes his Scare-crow will make me keepe off
[D1v]now;
The Northern Laſſe.
now, but hee is coſſend. Well ſir. He ſhall find me obedi-
ent to his hand. I am in all prepar’d to meet his purpoſes;
Though, Brother I had thought to had conference this Mor-
ning with ſir
Paul Squelch, touching a match for you.
Wid.For me ſiſter! ha’ you found out a wife for me?
ha’ you? pray ſpeake, ha’ you?
Fit.And a good match too brother; Sir
Pauls Neece:
on whom, hee, being childles, meanes to beſtow a large
Wid.By my faith, and he may do’t. Hee is rich Gouer-
nour, one of the beſt Ten i’ th’ hundred men about this
Fit.Hee is a right good man. Within there.
En. Howd.
Bid
Flaps your fellow bring my Fan and Maſque.
Ex. Howd.
An.Is hee bounteous and liberall ha? Do’s he make large
Suppers and lend money? Dee heare? Is he good at that?
Wid.Nay, there you miſtake Gouernour. A good man
i’th Citty is not call’d after his good deeds, but the knowne
weight of his purſe. One, whoſe name any Vſurer can
read without ſpectacles; One that can take vp more with
two fingers and a thombe vpon the Exchange, then the
great man at Court, can lift with both his hands; One that
is good onely in riches, and weares nothing rich about him,
but the Gout, or a thombe Ring with his Grandſires ſheep-
marke, or Grannams butter-print on’t, to ſeale bags, ſcquit-
tances, and Counterpanes.
Enter Maid, Howdee,
An.A Butter-print?
with Maſk and Fan.
Wid.I ’twere a cunning Herald could find better Armes
for ſome of ’hem; though I haue heard ſir
Paul Squelch
proteſt he was a gentleman, and might quarter a coat by his
Wiues ſide. Yet I know hee was but a Graſier when he left
the Countrey; And my Lord his father whiſtled to a teame
of horſes (they were his owne indeed.) But now hee is
right worſhipfull, and I would I had his Neece vnſight and
vnſeene I faith for her monies ſake. You neuer heard mee
aſke if ſhee were fair, or hanſome, dee marke that ſiſter?
My fathers Rule right! And if I be not a true
Widgine (God
forgi’me) I thinke he was none.
D 2Fit.
The Northern Laſſe.
Fit.But ſhee is very faire brother, and very hanſome,
and the prettieſt innocent countrey thing withall. Doe I
Wid.I now you bring me to bed ſiſter.
May.Your Maſque ſits well forſooth.
Fit.But where’s my Wimple forſooth?
May.Vpon the Cupboards head, pray
Humfrey fetch it.
Ex. Howdee.
Wid.Hee liues not that loues a Countrey thing like me.
Alas none loues a Countrey thing like mee. And though I
am a Cockney, and was neuer further then
Hammerſmith,
I have read the Countrey mans common wealth, and can dis
courſe of Soccage and Tenure, Free-hold, Copy-hold, Leaſe,
Demeanes, Fee-ſimple and Fee-taile, Plowing, Hedging,
Diking, Grubbing, occupying any Countrey thing whatſo-
euer; and take as much pleaſure in’t, as the beſt Clowne
Fit.And ſhee is very young, not aboue fifteene, brother.
How this fellow ſtayes! Goe you.
Ex Maid.
An.And that’s a ſafe age for a Maid in the Countrey:dee
Wid.Pardon me Gouernour, I doe heare and not heare
Fit.And ſings, and ſpeakes ſo pretty northernly they ſay.
An.Is ſhee Northern (dee heare) will ſhee not ſhrinke
Wid.Gouernour, I know thou ſpokſt a ieſt now, by thy
dee heare: but prithee forgiue me; I cannot applaud, nor
Enter Howdee with a Wimble.
Fit.What makes you ſtay ſo? I feare you haue beene
How.Shee ſaid it was vpon the Cupboard; and it was
Fit.Is this my Wimple? Doe you bring Carpenters
tooles to dreſſe me withall?
Ent. Maid.
Ma.Here is your Wimple forſooth.
Fit.I ſhall teach you to know a difference betweene
[D2v]g en-
The Northern Laſſe.
gentlewomans geere and Carpenters tooles. I ſhall.
Wid.Nay, ſhee is ſo vext now! Dear ſiſter to the Coun-
trey Laſſe againe. You ſaid, ſhe ſpoke and ſung Northernly.
I haue a great many Southerne ſongs already. But Northern
ayres nips it dead.
Yorke Yorke for my money.
Fit.Yes brother ſhee is Northern, and ſpeakes ſo; for
ſhee has euer liu’d in the Countrey, till this laſt weeke, her
Vncle ſent for her vp to make her his child, out of the Biſh-
Wid.Biſhop, nor Biſhoprick ſhall hold her from mee.
Wid.Siſter no more, though I haue never ſeene her.
No Biſhoprick i’th’ Land from me ſhall winne her. If you
will goe, and clap hands with your Knight, come; I would
ſee you match’d firſt: becauſe that will add ſome honour
to the
Widgines, when my ſelfe ſhall bee brother to a Lady.
I ſhall write firſt of that name. And then am I no ſooner
married, Gouernour, but wee will ſet our trauels a foot: to
know Countries, and Nations, Sects and Factions, Men and
And ſo in height of complement grow compleat,
More goes to making of a Man, then meat.Exeunt.
Act. II. Sce. II.
Enter Trainewell, Conſtance.
Tra.Pray tell me; and tell me truely. What is the moſt
has paſt betweene you? If it bee the maine loſſe of your
Mayden-head, it ſhall neare go further: therefore let mee
Con.As I liue Miſtris
Trainewell, all that ere he had o’me,
was but a kiſſe. But I mun tell yee, I wiſh’d it a thooſand,
Tra.How often haue you ſeene him?
Con.Feath but that bare eance nother, and your ſeln
were by too. Trow yee that Ide not tell yee and twere maer.
By my Conſcience Mrs.
Trainewell I lee not.
Tra.That once that I ſaw him with you, your Vncle
D 3was
The Northern Laſſe.
was there too, in the Orchard, but laſt weeke.
Con.Vary true, Mine Vncle was than by too. And hee
brought ſir
Phillip to ſee his Orchard. And what did hee
than doe, trow you, but tuke me thus by th’ haund, and thus
hee kuſt me; hee ſed I were a deaft Laſſe: but ther he feind.
But for my life I could not but thinke, he war the likeſt man
that I had ſeene with mine eyne; and could not devaiſe the
thing I had, might be vnbeggen by him. Then by and by as
we walkd, he aſkd mine Vncle, gin hee would giue him me
to make a Lady till him. And by my trouth Miſtris
Trainwell,
I lee not, I bluſh’d and luk’d vpon him as I would feine a hed
it ſo: Mine Vncle ſaid yes, and ſir
Phillip ſhuke my haund,
and gude feath my heart ioy’d at it. God gin the Prieſt had
beene by. But I thought all ſure enough; and would not ha’
ſold my part for the Spaniſh Ladies Ioincture. But ſtreight
anon mine Vncle and he fell on other talke, of Lords and La-
dies, and many fond like things, I minded not: for I is weell
ſure, this keept me waking ere fine. And God pardon mee
what I miſthought every houre i’ th’ night.
Tra.How haue you made me wrong this Gentleman, to
challenge him as if he had been your due vpon this idle
complement? when I vndertooke the Meſſage, I preſum’d
(for ſo your words did intimate to me) you had beene ſure,
as faſt as faith could bind you, man and wife. Where was
my diſcretion? Now I perceiue this was but common
Courtſhip; and no aſſurance of a Mariage promiſe.
Con.I wot not what he meant, but I is weell ſure, Ile nere
bee ſure to ony Man but hee. And if hee loue mee not as
weell, God pardon him. For I meant him none ill.
Tra.I know not how to counſell or comfort you, vntill I
heare him ſpeake. My man tells me, hee appointed him to
meet, and bring him to you about this hourr. Poore heart I
pity thee. Before thou come to halfe my yeares, thou wilt
forget to loue halfe ſo truely.
Ent. Beavis.
Tra.O, are you come? where’s the Knight?
Bea.He ſtayes below, and wild me to come vp firſt, to
make his paſſage cleare and ſecure.
[D3v]Tra.
The Northern Laſſe.
Bea.Rather feare I thinke: for he aſk’d me if the houſe
were not much haunted with Roarers or Swaggerers, poni-
ards and piſtols: whether there were not an Aſſurer for it as
upon the
Exchange, as if his life were vpon hazard? whe-
ther a Man might come on without loſſe of Credit, and off
without need of a Surgeon? Much odd talke hee deliuers,
that in my conceit bewrayes at once, both a laſciuious and
cowardly diſpoſition; and vpon my vnderſtanding, cannot
bee ſo generous, or nobly ſpirited, as hee is receiued. Doe
Con.Will hee not come, Mrs.
Trainewell?
Tra.Yes ſweetheart. But goe you to your Chamber,
and let me haue a word before you ſee him. Goe call him in.
Doe ſo ſweetheart. Ile not be long.
Con.Ile do ought you bid me. God gin I ſaw him
Act. II. Sce. III.
Enter Anvile, Beavis.
An.A place of fair promiſing! How haue I liu’d that
never diſcouer’d this place before? This place royall! But
ſought my recreation in by-lanes, and ſluttiſh corners, vnſa-
voury Allies and Ditch-ſides? when here the whole houſe is
perfum’d: An Earle might thinke it his owne lodging;
Ladies might come to ſee the pictures, and not bluſh, to goe
Bea.Sir, will you ſpeake to my Miſtris? The man is
An.I vnderſtand thy office, leads thee no further; thy
paines are abroad and below ſtayres. Here honeſt
Fetch.
Looke thee, heres the poore price of a new pair of ſhooes;
take it. Deſcend, and execute thy duty.
Tra.Bleſſe me! this is another man. More abuſe yet?
Anv.Now gentlevvoman to you. What fees belong to
your Key? Come, vvher’s the bed? where’s the party?
[D4]Here᾿s
The Northern Laſſe.
Here’s the man, here’s the money. Chunke chunke you old
Gamſter, doſt heare? Here’s halfe a peece to buy thee com-
plection, ſack or Aqua-vitae. What thou lik’ſt.
Tra.What are you ſir I pray?
Anv.Faith one that’s a little ill giuen at this time. Where’s
the Peece? here are the peeces I tell thee.
Tra.What peece ſir? If you can imagine what you are,
where you are, what you would haue, or where you would
be, I pray tell mee ſir. Ile doe the beſt I can to ſatisfie you.
O’ my diſcretion will I ſir.
An.Giue me but a little ſpace to wonder at thy ſtrange
demands, and I will tell thee, good
diſcretion. If I ſhould pur-
chaſe a broken Coxcombe, or bruz’d ribs now, for miſta-
king another mans habit, the ſmart were onely mine. The
villaine ſwore to me, his Maſter was ſent for; and that his
Maſter ſwore this was a Bawd to his choyce Whore, newly
intertayn’d; and that ſhee knew not him, and might well
miſtake me for him. On which preſumption I haue waded
thus farre, and if I ſticke in the mud, or be driuen backe by
a tempeſt, I am armd. Tis not the firſt time I haue beene
Wether-beaten, or Dry-beaten, dee heare?
An.You doe not know me, or at leaſt not remember
Tra.If I erre therein ſir, I hope your pardon. For as
you ſhall reueale your ſelfe, I ſhall either repent me of my
obliuion, or accuſe you of unaduiſedneſſe.
An.Shee ſpeakes like the wife of an Orator, that could
dictate her huſbands ſpeeches! Were not you this Mor-
ning at ſir
Phillip Luckleſſe lodging? ſpoke not you with
him? ſent you not for him afterwards to repaire hither to
the party? And know you not the man?
Tra.O infinite abuſe! Sir I cry you mercy. I hope you
will pardon my weake ſightednes. The Worlds bad, and we
loue to deale ſecurely. Could not your worſhip make your
ſelfe knowen ſooner. Pleaſe you to entertaine your ſelf
here a while. I will inſtantly prouide for your better wel-
com. O horrible indignity! But if Porters and cudgels
[D4v]may
The Northern Laſſe.
may be had for money, and I fit you not, let me looſe my dis-
cretion. I am furniſht with blankets already. —.
Ex.
An.I will inſtantly prouide for your better welcome!
Will you ſo? Twill paſſe: and by this light I thinke for my
Maſters ieſt: I will recouer my chardges, and gaine over
and aboue for three returnes more with the bare repetition
of it out of one mans purſe, the
Widgine. My ieſts are his nu-
triment, and my wit is his owne, he payes to duely for it. If
the Wench be but pleaſing, now, to my expectation, my fe-
Tra.O child, wee are vndone.
Con.Mary, God ſhield Mrs.
Trainewell. Is hee geane?
Tra.A laſſe it is not he: but ſome Villaine ſent by him to
vexe and ſpite you. One that perſwades himſelfe, we are of
thoſe common creatures, that ſell their honeſties.
Con.Heaven bliſſe vs, and giue vs leaue to dee firſt. Can
he be ſo vnkaind, to ſcorne me ſo. Woe is me.
Tra.He is ſo diſhonorable. But I will fit his Vnderta-
ker, what ere he bee. Looke you, is that he thinke you?
Con.O Weell a neare Miſtris
Trainewell! Sir
Phillip is
the likeſt man that ere you ſaw dayes o’your life. This Lo-
zell dow not. Nor would he ſend him. So trim a Man can-
not haue ſike bad purpoſe.
Ent. Beavis.
Be.Miſtris, there’s a Gentleman, one Maſter
Tridewell,
that ſayes he is Sir
Phillips Kinſeman, will by all meanes
Tra.Sweet heart, can you diſſemble your ſorrow with a
Song, to paſſe a little time? Ile downe and ſift out the ſub-
An.There is no gouernment vnder the Sunne, like the
politique gouernment of a Bawdy-houſe.
Shee ſings aboue.
Song.
You ſay my Loue is but a Man,
ETwixt
The Northern Laſſe.
Twixt him and others then I can,
find betweene him and Gods
That were I Owner of the world,
An.Sweet prologue to the inſuing Interlude!
Ent. Bea.
Doſt heare me honeſt fellow? was this the Parties voyce?
Bea.Onely hers vpon my ſincerity ſir.
An.Excellent! Shee has rais’d my deſire aboue her
noates. Why am I thus rauiſhd, and yet delayd?
Bea.Sir, for that my Miſtris craues your Pardon. Tis
not her neglect, that workes vpon your patience; But the
neceſſity to rid a troubleſome Lord or two out of the houſe,
before the Party can appeare to you. But pleaſe you to ob-
ſcure your ſelfe in this darke Cloſet, while I conuey them
hence, and then, inſtantly, the top Gallant of pleaſure ſhall
crowne your Maine-maſt, ſhee ſayes.
An.O how her wit and care reviues me! From hence
forth ſhee is my Bawd for euer. My
diſcretion! But are
they wholſome Lords
Sirah?
Bea.Tis no matter for any thing they did here ſir, I war-
rant you. In quickly pray ſir.
Bea.You cannot be ſafe elſe ſir.
An.The politique gouernment of this little common
Act. II. Sce. IIII.
Enter Tridewell, Trainewell.
Tri.Indeed Lady,
I am ſo farre from being in any plot
herein, that
I proteſt it was meerly by his out-ſide, and that
in the doubtfull light of the Euening, that
I could gueſſe
twas hee. And had he beene denyed,
I had gone well ſatis-
fied, it had beene ſome other man. Which if it proue, and ſo
his name be abus’d–– Or if it be he indeed, though hitherto
[E1v]my
The Northern Laſſe.
my moſt reſpected Coſen, that offers ſuch an outrage, as you
deliuer it to be: I am ſo much a friend to honeſty, that let me
but ſee the man or beaſt, Ile do the faire office of a Gentle-
man to right you.
Indeed Lady I will.
Tra.You profeſſe nobly ſir. Firſt will it pleaſe you, ſee
this Gentlewoman; ſo much the ſeruant of your Kinſman?
What ſhee is I haue told you. Only I preſent her to your
iudgment, whether her outward ſeeming may deſerue ſuch
Tri.Alaſſe faire Lady, would they iniure you?
Con.Yea feath, and ſcorn me too ſir. Ill betide them.
But and you doe me helpe, and ma’ ſir
Phillip loue me, God
Tri.And has your youth and beauty plac’d your loue on
Con.Gude feath ſir, I may not ſay how weell I loue him:
But were I one of neere (a mickle, heeſt eene haue all. And
Tri.Indeed tis pittifull. Weepe not ſweet Lady. He ſhall
Con.Now Gods beniſon light o’yee for it.
Tri.Shew me the miſchiefe, that hath abus’d vs all. Can
Tra.In thus much, to coniure you by your Manhood;
to doe nothing that Law may queſtion, to your, or our
diſaduantage: we ſhall not need,
For our owne right, to doe our ſelues miſdeed. There-
fore take this in hand.–––
a Ropes end.
Tri.You doe inſtruct me well. Pray let me ſee him.
Anvile out of the Cloſet.
An.Oh for a large Window, one of the laſt edition, to
leape out with halfe my life or limbs.
Con.Lo yee lo yee, the worſt like man to Sir
Phillip yee
Tri.Miſcheiuous Diuell! What magicall madneſſe con-
iur’d you into this ſhape?
Indeed Ile coniure you out on’t.
An.Oh hold: for heauens ſake hold. Ile confeſſe.
E 2Tri.
The Northern Laſſe.
Beats him.
Tri.Nay indeed Ile beat you a little firſt, you’ll confeſſe
the better. Twill come the eaſier from you. Tis a good
An.Oh! oh, ile confeſſe any thing
Tri.No ſir, not any thing. But the truth the truth ſir.
An.The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the
Tri.You would be ſwearing now would you? there’s for
An.No indeed, indeed, and indeed la I will not.
Tra.Good ſir no more. What may this poore thing bee,
that brau’ it ſo but now?
Tri.Ile tell you Lady. The moſt notorious, baſe, beaten
Raſcall about the Towne. Twere loſt breath to ſay more by
him. Hee is as you ſee. Onely is name is
Anvile: and they
that know him not, call him Captaine.
Bea.Anvile? Pray ſir let me try my blade on him too.
Tri.I pray thee doe, to ſaue me a labour: for hee is not
halfe beaten yet.
Beauis beats him.
An.Oh, oh. Ladies ſpeake for me. ha’ you no mercy?
Tri.Well ſir, thanke the Ladies. Now ſir, put this La-
dies fauour here in your pocket; and keepe it there till I call
for it. And mark what I ſay, if ever I find thee without
this Inſtrument, or the like, when I ſhall call for it to beat
thee (marke me) indeed Ile beat thee dead. And now to
your examination. How got your rotten Mutton ſhip into
this Lyons caſe? was it by the Owners knowledge? was
the Maſter of theſe Cloathes priuy to your vndertaking?
Anſwere ſirah,
bona fide, I or no.
An.No vpon my life; only his Man abus’d mee for my
Tri.What preſumption made you thinke ſo vilely of
An.Sir
Phillips owne words to his Man, vpon a letter
this Lady deliuer’d to him this Morning.
Tri.The Error’s found. Her name you ſay is
Conſtance,
[E2v]which
The Northern Laſſe.
which likewiſe is the name of a proſtituted Strumpet, with
whom, tis thought, the wantonneſſe of his youth hath held
former familiarity; and now it ſeemes makes doubt, imagi-
ning that letter to be hers, that ſhe pretends a claime to him.
An.Right ſir: which hee tooke ſo contemptuouſly,
that inſtantly he reſolued to mary the Widow, Miſtris
Fit-
chow; and was this Morning married priuately in a Cham-
ber, within an houre after you ſaw him.
An.It is vndoubtedly true.
I ſaw them married, and di-
ned with them, at his lodging, where they will ſup too : But
after Supper they goe to her houſe in the Towne to bed.
Tri.This foule miſtaking we ſhall all repent; if we pre-
uent not what may iſſue from it.
Tra.Alas ſir all will be too late.
Tri.Will you but truſt my ſeruice for your honour?
Tra.Wee will waite on you ſir.
Tri.Then Sir for this time you ſhall be repriu’d,
From further penance: Riſe and be our Guide.
But keepe your feare ſtill; for if all our art
Miſcarry, thou art ſure to ſhare the ſmart.
Ex.
Act. II. Sce. V.
Enter Pate, Howdee.
Pa.Brother
Humfrey, take my hand and word for thy
inſtructions. I will acquaint thee with an old Ladies Vſher
in the
Strand, that ſhall giue thee thy Gait, thy Poſtures, thy
Language, thy Habit, and thy whole chardge in ſo plaine a
Method, that thou ſhalt inſtantly ſtart vp as pretty a Gentle-
man Vſher, none diſprays’d, as any betweene Temple-bar
and Charing-croſſe; mary further I cannot promiſe you.
But prithee tell mee.
Is our Lady of ſo hot a temper and
ſtately cariage, as ſhee is reputed?
Ho.O I brother. Shee muſt command all, or all ſhall
ſmoke for’t. Shee did ſo in my old Maſters dayes I am ſure,
E 3And
The Northern Laſſe.
And hee glad of peace at that rate too.
Pa.But how is ſhe to her ſeruants? Bountifull and free?
Ho.Yes both of her voice, and hands.
Pa.Shee will not ſtrike will ſhe?
Ho.And ſhe could bite as well, the rankeſt Iade that ere
was curried could not come neare her.
Pa.Heauen be good to vs! ſhe nere ſtrooke thee, did ſhe?
Ho.Tis no matter for that.
Pa.Nay brother, you know we haue vow’d to be all one:
the Mariage hath united vs. Prithee tell me.
Ho.Shee broke mee a tooth once with a deaths Head-
ring on her finger? it had like to ha’ coſt mee my life! ’t has
btene a true
Memento to mee euer ſince; bobs o’the lips,
tweakes by the noſe, cuffs o’the eare, and trenchers at my
Ho.Any thing ſhee can lift, and makes vs pay for all ſhee
breakſe; though ſhee breake our heads or faces withall.
Fan-handles, Looking-glaſſes, or any thing.
Pa.Wee ſhall haue a foul houſe on’t I feare. But ſince it
is too late, fight Dog, fight Beare. Ile turne my Maſter
looſe to her. Here they come. By this light me thinkes they
looke as if they were fallen out already.
Act. II. Sce. VI.
Enter Luckleſſe, Fitchow, Wayting-woman, Widgine, and
Bulfinch. At the other dore Squelch, Nonſenſe, and Beauis.
Squ.Though I were abſent at the Ceremony, I now
bring my wiſhes of much ioy.
Luc.And not too late I hope ſir
Paul . Wee may yet
carry them to bed with vs.
Fit.You had beene chiefly ſir inuited, had we not ſtolne
a day from Time, to haue done a fathers part at Church,
to which in your abſence, I intreated our worthy friend Mr:
Apprehenſion Bulfinch here.
Squ.M ſter
Bulfinch, I reioyce to meet you here directly.
Looke you ſir. Doe you know this young Gentleman?
[E3v]Bul.
The Northern Laſſe.
Bul.Yes ſure, me thinkes I ſhould know him. But I am
ſure I neuer ſaw him before. ha—
Squ.Have you forgot ſir
Hercules?
Bul.I apprehend him to be Maſter
Salomon Nonſenſe, Son
and Heire to my right worthie friend, ſir
Hercules Nonſenſe
of
Cornwall. If you be not hee ſir, I am ſure it is you. I may
bee deceiu’d, but I am certaine tis hee.
Luc.Hee is doubtfull, but yet hee is ſure hee knowes
him. What a
Bulfinch is this! ſure ’tis his language they call
Non.You ſay very well ſir. And neuer credit me as you
knew my Father, I would be very ready, as you know how
duety binds: for becauſe it is a vſuall thing in theſe dayes,
deſiring the loue and friendſhip, I proteſt and vow ſir I ſhould —
Luc.Moſt perfect
Nonſenſe! this is a finer youth than
tother. My wiues acquaintance are moſt anſwerable to her
Squ.’Tis ſo directly Maſter
Bulfinch, and I haue brought
him to Towne— I vnderſtand my Neece is in your houſe,
my Lady Bride. Is ſhee employ’d in your Chamber?
Fit.Shee is not here ſir. Is ſhee
Howdee?
Squ.How! not here? Sirah what did you tell me?
Bea.What ſhall I ſay or doe? I ſhall be hang’d directly.
Squ.How was ſhee accompanied?
Bea.By my Miſtris ſir, and two Gentlemen of her ac-
quaintance, whoſe names I know not.
Squ.Knauery, Villany and Thieuery! I ſmell it ranke.
Shee’s ſtoln, ſhee’s gone directly.
Wid.Tis indirectly ſir if ſhee bee ſtolne. There your
Squ.If ſhee bee in the land I will recouer her. I hope I
ſhall find as much right in Law, as a Broaker or a Ioyner.
Fit.Good ſir
Paul, I haue not ſeene you thus diſtem-
Squ.Oh Miſtris
Fitchow, my Neece, my Neece.
Wid.Hee’s mad I thinke. Sir you forget my ſiſter is a
[E4]Squa.
The Northern Laſſe.
Squ.Shee’s is loſt, ſhee’s ſtolne, and all my ioy is gone.
Fit.Who your young Neece that came lateyel out of the
Wid.My
Countrey thing ſiſter, that you promis’d me?
Squ.Promis’d you? I am abus’d. I doe ſuſpect you ac-
ceſſaries. Sir I haue purpos’d and promis’d her to this
Gentleman. And here I charge you to reſtore her me.
Wid.Are you the Man ſir that muſt haue her?
Non.Neuer credit mee Sir, if I haue her, or haue her not
Squ.Sir
Phillip, you are courteous and noble; as you
will continue ſo in opinion of honeſt men, let me haue right.
Luc.Sir
Paul, vpon my faith I am ignorant of any ſuch
wrong. And, for her part, ſhould ſhee fare amiſſe, I ſhould
ſuffer in her iniury equally with your ſelfe; for I profeſſe to
you, I did loue the Laſſe ſo well; and at the firſt ſight, that
had
I not beene otherwiſe allotted, and indeed contracted to
her, from whom now there is no ſtarting, ſhee ſhould haue
beene my Bride, if all my loue and fortune might haue
Fit.Had you ſpard this Proteſtation, Sir, you might haue
diſſembl’d your loue to me the better.
Pa.By this hand my Ladie’s iealous already.
Ho.Bleſſe vs! what lookes are theſe!
Squ.Sir
I muſt take my leaue, this is no time to trouble
Luc.Nay, good ſir ſtay, and ſhare in our ill Banquet.
Harke, ſome friend I hope. Looke ſirah.—
Cornets flouriſh,
Ex. Pate.
Fit.Some of your old companions haue brought you a
fit of Mirth. But if they enter to make a Tauerne of my
houſe, ile add a voice to their conſort ſhall drowne all their
Pa.Some that come in gentile faſhion to preſent a Maſke.
[E4v]Fit.
The Northern Laſſe.
Fit.Locke vp the dores, and keepe them out.
Ex. Howd.
Luc.Breake them open, and let them in.—
Ex. Pate.
Fit.Shall I not bee Maſter of my owne houſe?
Luc.Am not
I the Maſter of it and you.—
Ex. Luc.
Squ. Bull.Madame, Madame.
Squ.You muſt allow of reaſonable things.
Bul.Be contented, ſir
Phillip is a noble Gentleman, and
a Courtier, and, as
I apprehend.
Wid.I dare warrant you ſiſter theſe are his friends,
that come with their Loues to congratulate his fortune.
Speake Maſter
Non-ſenſe. A ſpeech of yours would do’t.
Non.Neuer credit me, but I forſooth am of that opinion,
that it is as it were.
I proteſt and vow—
I ſhould be as ſor-
Wid.If this were to bee put into latine now. Which
were the principall Verbe.
Fit.M.
Nonſenſe,you haue preuaild. You ſee
I am content.
But what
I purpoſe, Fate ſhall not preuent.
Wid.Did
I not tell you?
Ent. Luckleſſe.
Luc.More lights, and let them enter. Gentlemen take
your places. Sir
Paul to night forget your ſorrow. So will
I mine, though
I renue’t to morrow. Come ſit ſit. Miſtris
Fit.You wrong your honour ſir, your moſt humble
Wid.Brother I told you alwayes ſhee had haſty humors,
and as vnreaſonable as heart can wiſh, but ſoone over. Now
ſhee’s as mild as any Doue againe.
Luc.Then wee are friends; and ſhee’s my Doue againe.
Muſicke
The Maſquers Enter. All in willow Garlands, Foure Men,
Foure Women. The two firſt payres are Tridewell and Con-
ſtance, Anvile and Trainewell. Before the Daunce, Conſtance
ſings this Song.
FNor
The Northern Laſſe.
Song.
Nor Loue, nor Fate dare I accuſe,
For that my Loue did me refuſe;
But oh mine owne unworthineſſe,
That durſt preſume ſo mickle bliſſe.
It was too much for me to loue
A Man, ſo like the Gods aboue;
An Angels ſhape, a Saint-like voice,
Are to Diuine for Humane choice.
Oh had I wiſhly giu’n my heart,
For to haue lou’d him but in part;
Sought onely to enioy his face;
Or any one peculiar Grace
Of Foot, of Hand, of Lip, or Ey,
I might haue liu’d where now I dye.
But I preſuming all to chooſe,
Am now cndemned all to looſe.
At the end of the Daunce, Tridewell and Conſtance Whiſper
with Anvile, each of them giuing him a folded paper.
Luc.Tis well perform’d. Now we would gladly know,
To whom we owe our thankes.
An.That Ile deliuer to you. Meane while the reſt de-
ſire they may withdraw a while.
Luc.Light and all faire reſpect be giuen vnto them.—
Exeunt all the Maſquers but Anvile.
Squ.The Womans voice had much in’t like my Neece
Wid.Your Neece ſir
Paul, ods me I muſt goe ſee her.
Luc.Nay brother giue them all their free pleaſures. By
your leaue you ſhall ſtay.
Wid.Shall ſhall I? I will then.
An.Now to your patience I diſcloſe my ſelfe.
Wid.Whoop! My Gouernour! Looke you ſiſter.
Looke you ſir
Phillip. Did not I alwayes tell youhe was
the rareſt wit i’the world? This was his owne inven-
tion I’le bee hang’d elſe. Sweet Gouernour the conceit of
[F1v]the
The Northern Laſſe.
the Willow, and why thou weareſt it?
An.My ſelfe, onely to make the number in the Dance
ſutable. And ſo did all the reſt to fulfill the faſhion, only two
excepted, that were the Leaders and ſubject of the Dance.
The one, your Coſen
Tridewell, who holds himſelfe a loſt
Louer, in that you Madame to whom his affection is wholly
devoted, haue made your ſelfe incapable of him, in being
the lawfull right of another. This paper ſhewes him more
Luc.Iſt poſſible! Did hee for that ſo earneſtly deſwade
me from her this Morning?
Fit.I neuer ſaw him before this day, nor he me. Theſe
are tricks and ſtudied fooleries to abuſe me—
teares the Paper.
An.Shee was your faire Neece ſir
Paul; the moſt dis-
conſolate Beauty that ere I ſaw, giuing her ſelfe for euer loſt
vnto your loue ſir
Phillip, preſuming you once promis’d her
Mariage, of which ſhee made a claime this morning by her
Nurſe, whom you revil’d by name of Bawd, calling faire
Conſtance Whore; and to her more deſpight, haſtned your
Mariage ſooner by a day, then you before intended with
Luc.Conſtance! May that name in all other women be
accurſed beyond themſelues. Hell it ſelfe could not haue
vapor’d ſuch an error forth, as I am loſt in.
Conſtance! why
was that name made hers, that Saint-like Maids, when it
brought to my mind a Diuels, nay worſe, a Whores? to
Bull.Sir
Phillip, and Madame, you apprehend theſe things
as things done, when they are not things indeed, but as it
were ſhew and deuiſe, as by the ſequele you may at large
Squ.I am of your mind Maſter
Bulfinch. And truſt me I
am glad my Neece was drawne into the wittie conceit. For
which, with a new Gowne Ile thanke her.
Ent. Pate.
Luc.Where is ſhee? I will endure no longer till I ſee
F 2Pa.
The Northern Laſſe.
Pa.The Maſquers are all gone ſir.
Pa.They tooke their Coaches inſtantly, and diſpers’d
themſelues by ſeuerall wayes. I had no Commiſſion to ſtay them.
Fit.Are you ſo ſenſible of her loſſe?——
Ex. Fit. with her Seruants.
Squ.My Neece might notwithſtanding her loſt loue,
have tane me home in her Coach.
Luc.You ſhall have mine ſir
Paul and my company ſo
farre to ſee her; and whether their preſentation were ieſt
or earneſt, I will not reſt till I be ſatisfied; my Coach. Ile
make no ſtay Sweet-heart. Shee’s gone.
Wid.Excellent! the Bride’s ſtollen to bed.
Squ.It ſhould be ſo. I like the cuſtome well.
Bull.For if you apprehend it rightlie, it expreſſeth duety
in the Woman to lye prepared for him; and loue in the
Man, not to be ſlack to embrace that duety.
Wid.A pretty Morall! A Womans duety to lye downe,
and a Mans loue to get vp. One may learne ſomething of
theſe old fellowes euery day.
Squ.Therefore no Coach, no Company noble Knight.
Purſue your home occaſions, and God gi’ yee ioy.
Luc.Nay ſir
Paul. I proteſt.
Squ.Not a word more of it directly.
Wi.Take me with you good ſir
Paul to ſee your Neece,
I find Maſter
Nonſenſe here very indifferent And I know
twill be the greater ioy to her to match but into the family
of ſir
Phillip, of which I am a halfe Pillar now. Beſides
my ſiſter made me halfe a promiſe of her in good faith, my
Gouernour’s my Witneſſe, and I haue lou’d her euer ſince.
Squ.But you neuer ſaw her face.
Wid.No, but Ile bee hang’d if
I did not love her Viſor
the beſt ere while, though I could not tell whoſe twas, nor
Squ.Good Maſter
Water Widgine, this is no time of night
to dive into buſines of this depth. It is Neſtling time I
take it. How thinke you Maſter
Bulfinch.
[F2v]Bull.
The Northern Laſſe.
Bull.I apprehend it to be paſt 12 a Clocke very neare.
Squ.Therefore what your ſiſter hath promis’d you, let
her performe if ſhee can; meane time this Gentleman is my
choyſe: come Maſter
Nonſenſe, you haue had a long time of
ſilence. Maſter
Bulfinch.
Bull.I apprehend you ſir.
Luc.Weell,ſee you to the Gate by your leaue
Ex. Omnes.
The End of the Second Act.
